“He used to go out with her,” Lauren whispered.
“Why is she here?” I asked in a low voice.
“She came with Simone. I didn’t invite her.” Lauren linked one arm through mine, the other through Ben’s, and led us toward the sofas where Ben took a seat opposite us. Lauren leaned forward. “Can you believe Rex is acting like it’s the end of the world because there’s no booze. That dude is a loser.”
I adored Lauren at times like this. Her conversation was shallow and that was exactly what was needed to distract Ben from the blond girl. Lauren even made Ben laugh, though I wasn’t sure how.
After a while, the girl in question sauntered toward us. She must’ve had a lot of time on her hands because it would’ve taken considerable effort to blow dry her long locks, apply a thick layer of make-up and purchase the floaty dress and jewelry she was wearing. She walked in front of Ben, presumably so he could admire her, sat on the arm of the sofa next to him, and started chatting. Ben stared at the coffee table, offering one-word answers.
I couldn’t make out what they were saying until the girl asked loudly, “Why have you been avoiding me?”
He looked up at her through the corner of his eye without turning his head. Maybe he’d had enough because he stood and faced her, his back to us, his voice low so we couldn’t hear what he was saying.
Eventually, the girl stood too, throwing her hair back in a dramatic gesture. “I thought we could be friends,” she said, then stormed off.
I went to Ben. “Can I get you something, a soda, chips? Maybe a knife, machete, dueling swords or some other weapon?”
It took a second for my words to sink in, then he laughed. “You’re crazy, Nicola. A really good kind of crazy. I just want to get away for a bit. Do you want to head up to the gazebo?”
I followed him as he wove past the kids sitting on the steps and made his way to the top of the garden. He ushered me ahead of him into the gazebo where we sat down.
“That sounded pretty serious,” I said.
He looked at me, disappointment in his eyes.
“Shannon’s an old girlfriend,” he said. “Or she was until she found someone she liked better.”
“Ouch. I’m sure you’ll find someone better too.”
He shook his head. “I made a big mistake. Got too close to her.” He threw his hands up. “And look where it got me.”
I glanced around. “In a gazebo with the sun on your back.”
“That part’s not too bad.”
His smile didn’t reach his eyes. Underneath, he was still hurt. I wondered if he still felt the loss of his mother too. This was what happened when you let yourself get involved like Ben had. You got hurt. The way we did things in New Nation was much better.
“Shannon’s an airhead,” he said. “I don’t know what I ever saw in her. She only cares about herself. You’re not like her, though.”
“No, while she’d clearly spent the last two hours grooming herself, I was doing my history assignment.”
“That’s what I like about you. You don’t pretend to be something you’re not. And you’re funny.”
“I wasn’t making a joke,” I said.
“See, that’s exactly what I mean. You’re a lot of fun. You just don’t know it yet. And that makes it all the more endearing.”
He grinned. The sparkle in his green eyes felt like it was especially for me. I turned away. It was safer.
Ben believed in me, though why I wasn’t sure. It wasn’t because I was a good soldier, working hard and doing my job properly. He believed in me because I was me. It made me feel special, warm throughout.
No, that must be the effect of the sun. I shouldn’t let myself get confused. Ben didn’t really know me. I had to remember that.
“No wonder I enjoy your company,” he added.
The nasty lie I’d told about Angelo Everill, a man I’d never even met, came back to me. Not to mention which, the weight of my mission was always with me even if sometimes I pushed it to the back of my mind.
“Do you find it all gets too much sometimes?” I asked. “The gossip, the things we say to each other, the focus on appearances, the pressure of school and acting cool.”
“I know what you mean. I like it better like this when we can just talk, one on one, and understand each other. That’s good.”
“Yeah, it is.”
He edged his hand closer to mine on the wooden bench. I was enjoying the closeness between us. And the space.
A missile flew through the air in front of us. A gum nut with red flowers. Where had that come from?
Ben cottoned on more quickly than me and turned to look at some kids who were now sitting on the sofa where Lauren had been. The smirks on their faces told us they’d thrown it.
Another object headed our way, then another, so Ben and I dropped to take cover behind the low fencing surrounding the gazebo. This was so juvenile. It was also kind of fun.
A red flip-flop flew behind us so I reached across and grabbed it. Getting to my feet, I aimed at the culprit and threw the flip-flop Frisbee-style, rotating through the air. Rex stood by the sofa, his eyes wide.
He screamed and ducked, just in time. “On my God, you nearly decapitated me.”
“He’s right,” Ben whispered.
That wasn’t exactly what I’d intended, so I yelled, “Sorry.”
Ben ushered me ahead of him down the steps.
Rex put his hands out. “You win. I’ve had enough.”
“That’s okay,” I said. “I’m about to get going.”
He moved to one side. “Don’t let me stand in your way.”
“I’m off too.” Ben turned to me. “We can walk together.”
I said goodbye to Lauren as we left. Ben waved goodbye to everyone including Shannon, which was polite of him. Lauren’s parents were in the living room as we passed by so we thanked them and headed off.
“I’m glad you were there for me today,” Ben said when we reached the sidewalk.
“Was I?” I kept walking. “I mean, I’m glad too.”
Ben grinned and once again, it felt like his smile was meant only for me. It probably was since there was no one else around.
“Don’t ever change, I like you just the way you are.” After a while, he added, “If you ever need anything, you can always call on me.”
“What do you think I might need?”
“Someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, whatever.”
I already had an idea what I might need. One day, I might want to lure him away from his house, away from safety, away from any witnesses to a secluded place. I might need to complete my mission.
There was no ‘might’ about it. It was a question of where and when. A midnight rendezvous would be an easy way of going about it. Ben would be unsuspecting. We’d be away from witnesses in a neutral location. There’d be forensic evidence of course, all of which would take time to process, and soon after I’d be whisked away to New Nation.
Time was running out too. For Ben and me both.
“What if I called you in the middle of the night?” I asked. “Would that be okay?”
“I mean it,” Ben said. “Any time, any place. If you need me, I’ll be there.”
I stopped at the corner, ready to keep going straight ahead while Ben had to turn off to go home.
“I’ll hold you to it,” I said.
He took my hand into his. “See you at school then. Or sooner.”
His hand lingered. Mine did too. It made me feel close to him, not just physically but in a deeper way too. It was a strange sort of intimacy, though. How strange I should feel close to Ben at a time when I was thinking of finishing him off. It didn’t make sense.
Ben did the worst thing possible. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against mine and kissed me. It was beautiful and horrible at the same time.
I stepped back.
“It’s okay,” he said. “We can get to know each other better first.”
I said good
bye and walked off. When I reached the other side of the street, I turned to see Ben was still standing there. As I waved, he headed off around the corner.
I felt a pang inside. This was all wrong. I needed more control, more self-discipline, more of the soldier inside me.
Chapter Thirteen
Life in Altabena wasn’t so bad. At home, I was with my parents. At school, with my friends, and now I was back to a martial arts session in the afternoon.
I’d tried to get out of training, however Mr. Matthews had been extremely insistent and since I was supposed to be a high school student, I obeyed. Besides, the martial arts arena was the one place where I felt at home.
Trying to look inconspicuous, I’d warmed up with a group of girls. Ben was wrestling on the mat with a couple of other guys. I nodded hello but didn’t join him because close proximity would only muddy my brain.
Mr. Matthews approached me. “Are you ready to go another round with Moose?”
The aforesaid Moose stood in the ring, leaning forward with his arms on the ropes. The grin smeared across his face was particularly dopey, and the guy beside him didn’t look any more intelligent. Both of them wore the smaller, fingerless mixed martial arts gloves that provided less protection for the hands, and none for the other person’s face.
“I’d prefer to concentrate on other aspects of my training,” I replied.
“You don’t understand, Nicola,” the teacher said. “That wasn’t a request.”
I shrugged. “Then let’s do the drill on the mat, not in the ring.”
Mr. Matthews motioned for Moose and the other guy to join us. “I’d like to see how good you are against not one, but two opponents. We can simulate a street fighting situation, as if you were walking at night and came across Moose and Bulldog.”
The girls to one side of me stood and watched. I glanced back to see the guys who’d been grappling had stopped too and Ben was heading in my direction.
I raised my eyebrows. “His name is Bulldog?”
“Yes.”
“Excuse me, sir, I don’t think this drill sounds safe and I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
“These boys will stop in time. They won’t damage you.” The teacher looked me up and down. “If you’re scared, you don’t have to do it.”
He’d used the same line before and knew exactly how to get to me. Maybe I should’ve shown restraint but part of me wanted this too.
“Sure,” I said. “What’s the game plan?”
The teacher’s eyes narrowed. “This is no game.”
Ben stepped closer to me and whispered, “I’m ready to jump in if you need me.”
He was too close and I needed to focus.
The rip of Velcro filled the air as I pulled open the straps of a pair of fingerless gloves, slipped them on and pressed the bindings back down. Rip, such a magnificent sound.
Mr. Matthews stepped back, while Moose and Bulldog stood there. They had size but I had skill and smarts on my side. In New Nation, Lucien had taught me how to fight. Taught me everything I knew, in fact. He’d taught me well.
Moose lunged at me.
“No,” I yelled.
I sprawled my legs back so he couldn’t get a purchase. My pulse rocketed, my heart banging against my chest walls. He tried to straighten, but I’d already wrapped my hands around the back of his neck in a clinch so he was hunched over.
No escape, not for you. I had him where I wanted him.
Bulldog stepped closer, so I spun Moose around, keeping him between me and my other opponent. That was the secret with two assailants, because you can only fight one guy at a time.
And I had to fight. I sent a knee into Moose’s chest. Bam. Bulldog tried to get closer so I yanked Moose around again. Sent in one more knee. The air left this body. He dropped to the ground.
Hands out, I stepped to the side and said, “We can call it a draw.”
Meanwhile, Bulldog wound up his arm and threw a big right hand. I saw it coming a mile away, weaved under, and stepped right around until I had his back. No need to pummel him, only to finish this.
I shoved him in the lower back to bring him down to my height, and got him in a rear naked choke, my arm around his neck. We stumbled to the ground but I didn’t let go. I couldn’t.
He tapped. The signal for me to let go. I got to my feet and shuffled back. The further away from those two, the better. A hand landed on my shoulder and I turned, ready to strike.
“Hey, it’s only me,” Ben said.
“Okay.”
Instinctively my eyes went back to Moose and Bulldog where Mr. Matthews was helping them up from the ground.
“You guys are done for the day,” he said. “Get your bags and leave.”
The two of them turned and left without a word. Their heads down, the dull thumps of their footsteps said it all.
The teacher stepped closer to me. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
“You don’t have to do anything,” I said.
He shook his finger. “You really know how to make life hard for yourself.”
Deep inside me, a little spark ignited. Normally I didn’t disobey a direct order or talk back. That was changing.
“No,” I said. “I know how to survive. You’re the one making life hard for me. You wouldn’t do this to anyone else in the class, certainly not to any of the other girls.”
“I didn’t force you to do anything,” he said. “It’s not my fault you insist on pushing it.”
My eyes narrowed. “Maybe I should push it and we’ll see how far you get.”
I stepped forward, ready for whatever was to come, but Ben nudged me aside so he was between me and the instructor.
Mr. Matthews backed off. “Threatening a teacher is not a smart move. Your parents are going to hear about this, the principal too.”
“Fine,” I yelled as he walked away. “They’d love to explain to the principal exactly what you made me do and how dangerous this was.”
Mr. Matthews turned and grinned. “It’s a dangerous world out there.”
He left.
The small spark inside me blew up into a full-blown fire. My face reddened, my heart raced and I felt ready to blow. I told myself to keep my temper in check. Don’t lose control.
This was anger, something I shouldn’t feel. In New Nation we all had mild emotions, but not like this. I was above this, or I was supposed to be.
Emotions were unreliable, something to be fought, and certainly not to be trusted. We couldn’t help having some level of emotion but then they were blown out of all proportion. The folk in the Badlands used their telepathic powers to accelerate and intensify our feelings in order to get power over us. That was why we had to control our emotions. Because they were at least partly an illusion.
But what I felt was real. What’s more, there were no Badlands in Altabena and therefore no one to impose their will on us here, so what was going on?
Ben grabbed my arm but I jerked it back.
His brow furrowed. “Do you always do what you’re told?”
“What?”
“Like with Moose and Bulldog. Do you always do what someone tells you to?”
“Is that a problem?”
He stared at me as if I had a lot to learn, and maybe I did.
Deep breaths, Nicola. I walked away. It was what I should’ve done in the first place.
Ben caught up with me in the hallway outside.
“We need to talk.” He stood outside the door of the boys’ locker rooms. “Wait here.”
He charged inside the room and came back moments later, saying the place was empty. Inside, we sat on a wooden bench against some lockers.
The room was plain with a polished concrete floor and white tiles on the walls. Showers and basins were at the back of the room, the same as in the girls’ locker room, yet secretly I’d wondered what the boys’ area looked like.
Ben leaned forward, his forearms resting on his thighs. “Just because Mr. Mat
thews tells you to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it.”
“But he gave the instructions.”
“What if the person giving you instructions doesn’t know what he’s doing? What if he’s an idiot?”
“Do you think Mr. Matthews is an idiot?”
“That’s not what I meant. There’s such a thing as being too obedient.”
“Is there?”
“You shouldn’t have listened to the teacher,” he said. “And I’m glad you pummeled Moose and his stupid friend.”
“I thought you were a pacifist.”
“Not when it comes to comes to you. I don’t want to hit anyone but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.”
Because he cared. That was why he stuck up for me. That was why he was giving me this advice.
My pulse raced, my heart thumping in my chest. I was even angrier than before. At Ben for caring. At myself for getting involved. At everything around me.
Damn it, I was supposed to be better than this. If I couldn’t control my anger, the least I could do was channel it in the right direction.
This ‘thing’ with Ben was personal. It couldn’t be any other way.
One day soon, I had to finish him. Not with drugs or poison like some quiet ladylike killer. Not with a gun where I could keep my distance, despite the fact I was an excellent shot. I was going to do this my way. The only way.
With a knife.
A midnight meeting with Ben would be easy to arrange. I’d get close to him. The knife would make it extremely intimate. We’d take ‘personal’ to a new level.
Decision made, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Control. That’s what this was about. No one else needed to know what was going on in my head.
“I don’t get it,” I said. “What’s Mr. Matthews’ agenda?”
“You made him look bad and he wants to get his own back.”
“But he’s a teacher in a position of respect. It’s his job to guide and teach us.”
“Don’t you get it? Not everyone is nice. Not everyone does their job properly. Matthews makes out like he’s a good guy because he does all this training out of school hours but he’s just a bully. That’s why he likes Moose. Because they’ve got something in common.”
Infiltration (Infiltration Book 1) Page 9