His eyes were glued to mine. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Come on, Moose. She just threw up. She’s practically comatose.”
He grinned. “She’s breathing, isn’t she?”
“Leave her alone,” I said. “I’ll take care of her.”
He pointed a finger at me. “Maybe I should take care of you once and for all.”
I put my hands up between us. I didn’t want to fight but there was no way I could leave this poor girl alone with Moose, not when he didn’t care what state she was in.
Frustration in his eyes, Moose looked ready to explode. Something was coming but I didn’t know what. He pushed Charlotte in my direction and stormed away. I’d got off easy this time.
“Bitches,” he said under his breath as he left.
Not sure what to do next, I found Lauren, who located Charlotte’s friends so they could take care of her. Better them than Moose.
I stayed with Lauren as she wandered closer to the pool. And Ben. I noticed his eyes on me, and looked away.
“Why would Charlotte do something like that?” I asked.
“She does that at every party.” Lauren threw her hands up. “Attention-seeking behavior.”
“But she didn’t want Moose’s attention. His hands were all over her.”
Lauren shrugged. “Bad choices. Some people never learn.”
She looked away, indicating she’d had enough of Charlotte, then grabbed my arm. “Look, Ellie and Harry are going for a swim.”
I knew them vaguely from school. Harry had already stripped down to his boxers while Ellie was taking off her tee shirt and then she’d be down to her underwear.
“Why is it okay for them to strip off but it wasn’t okay when I was getting changed for PE?” I asked.
“This is different,” Lauren said. “What you did was plain weird.”
Great, I was weird. It didn’t matter how comfortable I felt in Altabena there were still times I didn’t quite understand what was going on.
Daniel, a scrawny Chinese kid who’d been described to me as ‘a typical Asian nerd’ stepped up to us. At least in New Nation, no one made racist remarks like that. All people were equal and grateful to be alive.
A phone in his hand, he was taking photos.
“What are you going to do with the pictures?” I asked.
“Probably post them online,” he said. “There are always people who’ll be interested if I get good footage.”
“Really?”
His friend Lorenzo joined us. “We’re linked in. Interlinked, actually.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“I’m connected. It’s all about online networking. People who won’t talk to me in real life want to be my best friend in the online world. I’m a desirable commodity.”
Though that didn’t necessarily sound like a good thing, the two boys seemed pleased.
Taylor pushed her long blond hair back and walked in front of Daniel while he was filming. Simone followed, stopping in front of the phone to raise her long dark arms above her head and undulate in front of him.
“You wish,” she snarled before walking off.
Daniel and Lorenzo looked at each other, probably not sure if they should be insulted or not.
The two girls stopped on the other side of Lauren, long enough for Simone to say, “Computer geeks, we don’t want them here but at least they’re good for something.”
As they left, Lauren giggled at their joke and gave the two girls a little wave.
“What do you see in them?” I asked.
“They ooze confidence,” she said. “They’re popular. People want to hang out with them. People listen to them.”
I didn’t want to hang out with them. I’d rather stay with Lauren even if she didn’t ‘ooze’ like those two girls.
“They’re also mean,” I said.
Lauren opened her mouth to argue, looked thoughtful, then nodded. “Yeah, I guess they are.”
On the other side of the pool, Ben waved and headed our way.
“Just as well we can have a party and have some fun, you know, while we’re still allowed.” Lauren rolled her eyes. “There’ll be no more of this if Ms. Di Giorgio gets her way.”
The principal had been involved in talks with government officials about introducing a curfew for teenagers so that anyone out after 7.00pm would get arrested. No wonder Lauren and all the other kids were outraged.
“Just because she can’t have a good time, she doesn’t want anyone else to either.” Distracted, Lauren giggled and pointed to Harry and Ellie in the pool. “Taking your clothes off for a dip is a bit racy, a bit naughty.”
“So it’s okay to be naughty?”
“Like this, yeah,” she said.
They had a strange way of doing things here.
Ben came up to us. Before he’d even spoken, I felt the downy hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. He shot me an appreciative look and grinned, his smile reaching his eyes. A sizzle shot up my spine, my response completely out of proportion to his actions.
I glanced across at the pool. I needed to cool down.
Hooking my hands over the hem of the top Lauren had lent me, I pulled the fabric over my head.
Ben’s mouth fell open. “Are you going for a swim?”
“You can never tell with Nicola,” Lauren muttered. “She might be getting ready for PE class.”
I kicked off my sandals, unzipped my jeans and carefully peeled them off.
Lauren leaned closer, a sly smile on her face. “Have fun. That’s what this is all about.”
Ben’s eyes were glued to me, making me wonder if this was such a good idea after all.
And I liked it. I liked his eyes on me and the way it made me feel. I sat on the edge of the pool and slipped into the water, certain he was watching me the whole time and thrilled at the thought.
Ducking my head under, I let the cool water envelope me completely though it did nothing to put out the sizzle I still felt inside. As my head popped up, I saw Ellie and Harry frolicking and laughing at the other end of the pool. Frolicking had never been my thing and I needed some physical exertion to get Ben off my mind so I started doing laps of freestyle.
It wasn’t long until half the party had jumped in the pool, or at least that’s what it seemed like, and I had no chance of swimming laps. So much for getting some exercise.
A volleyball net was quickly set up across the middle of the pool and it appeared that Ben and I and several others were on the same side of the net. I decided to stay put even though I was dangerously close to Ben.
He sidled up without touching me. “Looks like we’re on the same team.”
That couldn’t have been further from the truth. He didn’t have a clue what I was doing here, not an inkling.
My eyes dropped to his chest and I made sure my mouth didn’t fall open like his had earlier. His shoulders were broad, his torso lean and ripped all the way down to the navy trunks clinging to his hips under the water.
It was only nudity. A naked human body wasn’t cause for commotion where I came from, and Ben wasn’t even naked. Just as well. I wouldn’t have coped well if he was.
I looked away at exactly the right moment. A ball had been tossed over the net, headed my way. I punched it back.
“Good shot,” Ben said.
“Of course,” I replied.
He grinned. “Cocky.”
“Confident.”
I was only pretending to be sure of myself. The longer I stayed in Altabena, the further my mission kept going off track.
As the game went on, Ben sidled up to me several times. Every time I thought I should stop him and every time I didn’t. As much as I tried to deny it, it felt good to be close to him.
A ball headed our way over the net, far too high for me to reach. Ben placed his hands on my waist from behind and lifted me into the air. I felt petite in his arms, as if I weighed nothing.
I lobbed the ball, the movement causing me to fal
l back onto him so we landed back in the water together, our bodies intertwined. He helped me up, his hands on my waist again. He was so close, his chest against my back, and I felt that damn sizzle again.
I didn’t turn to look at him. I couldn’t.
Before, I’d experienced many doubts about whether I could do what was required for my mission. I’d been in denial before and now there was no point trying to lie to myself.
I couldn’t eliminate Ben.
What’s more I didn’t want to.
I just wanted to find a way out.
Chapter Eighteen
The volleyball game over, two girls by the pool were complaining about putting dry clothes over their wet underwear.
I rolled my eyes. That was the least of my problems. Besides, I was a soldier and had been through much worse. This was nothing compared to wearing wet combat fatigues in a mosquito-infested jungle where you stayed damp all day. These girls didn’t know how good they had it.
Someone had brought out towels so I’d already dried my hair as best I could. My clothes were on and they were staying on. Back home we might not have any qualms about nudity but this wasn’t New Nation.
Lauren nudged me. “I told you we’d have fun, Nicola.”
Not wanting to miss out, she’d jumped in for the volleyball game too and thrived on it, whereas I wasn’t cut out for all this fun. I may have been trained by the best officers in New Nation but nothing had prepared me for this.
I worked my way toward the fence, thinking I might watch from the sidelines when Ben appeared beside me.
“You don’t like crowds?” he asked.
I shook my head. “It’s all a bit much for me at the moment.”
He took my hand. “I know a quiet spot.”
I shouldn’t go with Ben. Given my conflicted reactions, I should behave in a professional manner and keep my distance. What the hell, I followed him anyway.
Lauren’s words rang through my head. Bad choices. I didn’t care.
He led me to a small, grassed area wedged between a small outbuilding and the fence behind some trees at the rear of the garden. Though there was no escaping the noise of the party, this spot felt secluded.
I flopped down on the grass on my back. “It’s good to get away from all that.”
Ben lay down beside me, much more graceful than I’d been. He didn’t touch me. Didn’t say anything either. Just looked up at the stars. Glancing across, I watched the rise and fall of his chest, grateful he was wearing a shirt, then looked up again.
The night sky didn’t look like this in New Nation where permanent pollution created an obstructive haze. Then there were recent volcanic eruptions that created spectacular sunsets but caused other problems with ash clouds.
“Do you believe there’s life out there?” I asked.
“On other planets? Sure.”
“Do you think about it much?”
“Not a lot, but we’d have to be incredibly vain to think that on all the planets in all the galaxies in the whole universe that there isn’t some sort of life.”
There was a big world out there, bigger than Ben knew, probably bigger than I could imagine too. I’d discovered so much in Altabena that it made me realize how small I was, nothing more than a tiny cog in an enormous universe. Small but pivotal.
“For me, the question isn’t whether there’s life on other planets,” Ben said. “The question is what sort of life, how intelligent, how advanced. And maybe that life is so far away we’d have no way of contacting them.”
“Would you want to contact them?”
“Absolutely,” he said. “If we could, that is.”
“Maybe it’d be better just to leave them be.”
To leave them be.
Was it possible to do that?
Was that what I should do?
“Maybe,” Ben said. “But I think man is just too curious.”
“Yes, we are.”
The smell of freshly cut grass mixed with the dampness of our bodies and the crisp night air. This wasn’t real. We were lying on the grass in the back corner of the garden staring at the stars, pretending we were alone, pretending to be free, pretending everything was all right.
“You don’t have this sort of conversation with Lauren,” Ben said.
“No, she’s more interested in clothes and make-up and boys.”
“You’re interested in boys too.”
The gold streaks in his green eyes glimmered in the dim light. He rolled onto his side and kissed me, just like that. I felt warm inside, a little braver too. My past, New Nation, it all seemed so far away.
“You’ve had lots of girlfriends, haven’t you?” I asked.
He propped himself up on one elbow. “A few, but that doesn’t really matter.”
It was kind of him not to make reference to my obvious inexperience with the opposite sex, with sex in general for that matter. He wasn’t interested in putting other people down to boost his own self-esteem. He wasn’t like Moose.
Ben’s expression became more serious. “Not all the girls I’ve gone out with have been as nice as you. Shannon, for instance.”
“Why would you go out with someone who wasn’t nice?”
“Well, I didn’t know that at the start.”
“I guess you don’t always know people,” I said.
Ben probably thought I was a good person. He didn’t suspect the truth. It wasn’t something he could even imagine in his wildest dreams about life on other planets.
“It’s different with you,” he said. “You’re honest. You come out with weird stuff and strange questions. You don’t care if it makes you seem funny. You don’t care what people think.”
Oh, but I do care. I cared so much that for the first time in my life, it hurt deep inside.
“Can you always remember me like this?” I asked.
His brow furrowed. “Why? Are you going somewhere?”
“No, but I’d like you to remember what you think of me, what you feel on the inside, what might happen. Can you always remember this moment?”
“I can do that, Nicola. I can remember how you look, how blue your eyes are and how dark your hair is when it’s damp. Is that what you want?”
I wasn’t sure any more.
His lips curled to a sly smile. “I can also give you something to remember me by.”
He leaned closer and I felt the electricity between us, the tension, the sense of the unknown. Then I felt his mouth covering my lips, his chest on mine, his hands on my waist pulling me closer.
I felt something else from deep within me. I’d remember this moment too, the way he smelled and felt, the way he made me feel.
This special moment.
He took his weight off me and ran a hand through his hair, still wet and messed up from the pool, and leaned back onto his elbows. “You sound serious tonight.”
“I don’t mean to sound morbid. I just think we should savor this moment, what we have, what’s between us.”
So I can hold it in my heart.
Even though our time together was ephemeral and, like everything else, it would pass.
“We can see each other tomorrow, you know,” he said.
“Sure. I mean, I can’t. I’m busy. Family commitments, you know how it is.”
Another lie. It was better I didn’t see him on Sunday. I’d have to go through all this again and it’d be too painful.
I wasn’t sure what to make of all these emotions. I felt the rush of attraction, the thrill, the excitement and promise. I also felt pain like a knife in my gut. Surely love wasn’t meant to feel this way.
“It’s no big deal,” he said. “I’ll see you at school on Monday.”
“Yeah, Monday.”
Monday would never come. Not for me.
At 2.00am that day Altabena time, I’d return to New Nation and face up to my responsibilities. I’d speak to my superior officers and I wouldn’t be able to lie to them the way I had to Ben and everyone else in Altabena.<
br />
I’d lied to myself too. I was never going to eliminate Ben. I wasn’t a murderer.
My superiors were relying on me back in New Nation. The military was extremely strict and I knew the consequences.
The price to pay for not completing my mission would be high.
The death penalty.
My life.
My choice.
Chapter Nineteen
“What do you mean you’re going to work today?” I stared across the breakfast table at my mother. “It’s Sunday.”
She put down her cup, a quizzical look on her face. “Somewhere along the line, our roles got reversed. I’m the parent. You’re the teenager. I’m supposed to question where you’re going, not the other way around.”
I shrugged. “Sorry, I thought we could do something together as a family.”
Father spluttered his coffee and reached for a napkin. “As a family?”
Mom laughed.
“What?” I asked.
“You never want to be seen in public with us,” he said. “We don’t mind. It’s all part of being a teenager. And now, for the first time in years, you want to do something together as a family?”
“Sure.” I tried to act casual. “Why not?”
Maybe I appeared normal on the outside but on the inside my gut had frozen into a solid block. I couldn’t bear to think about returning to New Nation and what would happen when I got there.
There was no escape, no way out, and nothing I could do. As soon as I thought about it, I started to gag.
The secret was not to think. That was the only way I’d get through the day.
“There’s a very good reason why not,” Mom said. “Because today I’m helping out at the Altabena Fun Run.”
Conversation. I could do this. I could have a conversation.
Mom’s new job was for a health insurance fund which sponsored a ‘fun run’ at the outskirts of town to promote health and wellbeing. She’d come in at the tail end of the project and had offered to help with handing out water at checkpoints to passing runners.
“Can’t you cancel?” I asked.
“Honey, I’m expected to be there,” she explained. “Besides, I promised them.”
“Fine, then Dad and I can come along too. We can join in the run. It’ll be…fun.”
Infiltration (Infiltration Book 1) Page 12