How dare he say the things he had? She should have reported the behavior to his CO and sent him on his way. Seriously. She should have done that. But from the moment she’d glimpsed the tall, stolid man standing in her office, something about him had cried out to her.
He needed help. Every line, his very posture, screamed out for understanding.
He wouldn’t get anything from Rich except hero worship. The other doctors in the office would probably be afraid of him.
High ranking, highfalutin, and high on himself, the Commander was a man to be reckoned with.
Not once in her life had she shied away from a tough patient. She believed everyone deserved a chance to heal. The Commander might be unruly, but he was a human being. The real question was, could she help him regain a sense of his humanity?
Holly shook her head, not sure of the answer.
A distant muffled ringing stopped any further thoughts about the handsome Naval officer and Holly paused to listen.
The noise was definitely coming from her place.
“Damn,” she muttered, dropping her bag to rush toward the door.
Her sister, Daisy, had called her at the office earlier, but she’d been running late for a meeting so she’d told Dee to phone later at home.
Fumbling, she finally found her house key and inserted it into the top and then bottom lock. Rushing inside, she left the door wide open to run and pick up the cordless on the kitchen table.
“Hello,” she sputtered, breathing hard.
“I hope I didn’t interrupt you from doing something naughty.” Daisy’s voice came through loud and clear, and as usual she sounded disgustingly cheerful.
“Believe me, Dee. I wouldn’t be answering the phone if you had.”
“That’s a little too much information for me, Sis.”
Holly sighed, cradling the phone to her shoulder and walking back outside to retrieve her gym bag. “You asked.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Do you want something, Dee? Or did you just call to bug me?” she groaned, depositing her blue duffel bag on her red Daphne La-Z-Boy sectional.
“When do I ever call to bug you?” her sister squealed.
“How about now for starters?”
Daisy laughed. “Jeez, you’re such a stick in the mud, Hol. Anyway, I’m calling because I have something to tell you. Something important.”
Holly paused, anxious worry invading her mind. She hoped nothing was wrong with their parents or her other sister Lily’s new baby, Noel.
“It’s not Mom or Dad is it? Is something wrong with Lily or the baby?”
“Brace, Holly! It’s nothing dire. I-I’m calling to tell youuu…”
Daisy seemed determined to drag this out. Frustrated, she screamed into the phone. “What is it?”
“I’m married!”
That was the last thing she’d expected to hear. “W-what?”
“I’m married,” her sister repeated, excitement lacing her voice.
“What? To whom? When?”
“To Mano. You remember him, doncha? His family was stationed with us…”
“Yeah. Yeah. I remember him. Dad like adopted him when we were in high school.” She shut her mouth, frowning at the remembrance of their dismal graduation ceremony. “But wait. Didn’t he go to the Air Force Academy?”
“Yeeesss,” he sister answered cautiously. “He did.”
“Well, so what’s he doing now?”
“He’s a pilot.”
“For the military?” she asked without preamble.
“Yes! And you don’t need to sound so put out by it,” Daisy exploded “So what! He’s in the Air Force! You’re not still laboring under that vow we made are you? I’ll remind you that minors can’t enter into binding contracts. We were seventeen when we made the promise. And b-besides you joined the Navy. What was that all about!?”
“We promised never to marry a man in the service. I never said I wouldn’t join.”
“Yeah. So you end up just like dad,” Daisy shouted. “I’m so totally pissed that I wanted you to be the first to know. How come you didn’t berate Lily when she married a space cadet?”
Holly kept her own anger under control. “I’m not berating you, Daisy.” She made sure to use her sister’s full name even though she knew she hated it.
“Sure. But you don’t sound happy a-and you’re using that psychologist voice on me.”
“Psychiatrist.”
“Whatever.”
“I’m not angry at you, Dee. This is your decision and you’re a grown…” A sudden beeping in her ear made her stop short, and she glared at the cordless phone, reading the illuminated name on the caller ID. “Hold on. It’s Lily.”
Pressing the flash button, Holly waited for the prerequisite click before saying, “Yes.”
“Did Dee tell you she got married?!” Lily’s animated voice, so similar to Daisy’s and her own, almost made her laugh.
So much for being the first to know. “Yes, she did. Matter of fact, she’s on the other line right now. I’ll call you on the three-way.”
“Okay,” Lily chirped, disengaging without saying good-bye.
Re-connecting with Daisy, Holly said, “That was Lily. I’m going to call her on the three-way.”
“Good. She’ll be on my side,” Dee remarked.
Holly shook her head before taking the necessary steps to connect her two sisters on one line. “Okay, so we’re all here,” she said, taking charge because if both her siblings were in agreement then she was definitely the odd man out.
“Good,” Daisy declared. “I was just telling Holly what a bitch she’s being.”
“What?” Lily gasped.
“Yeah. She’s all put out because we married military men!”
Holly jumped to defend herself. “I didn’t say that!”
“Oh yes you did,” Dee scoffed. “Lil, she got all huffy when I told her Mano’s in the Air Force.”
“You didn’t do that, Hol.” Lily paused. “Did you?”
“I only asked a question,” Holly thundered through the phone lines.
“Uh-huh. She was asking questions like she was Queen Sheba on the mountain,” Daisy retorted quickly.
“Oh, Holly,” Lily moaned.
Why in the world was she on the defensive? They were the ones who had shackled themselves to men who’d never be there for them. Like they didn’t have a big enough example in their father.
She sighed loudly, bracketing the phone against her shoulder. Times like these, she bemoaned having two younger sisters, especially two twin sisters. It was damn hard to cuss someone out when they looked just like you.
“I repeat,” Holly reproached. “I just asked a question.”
“Maybe you should take some time to re-evaluate your own life before you start criticizing ours.”
Jeez! Lily sounded so … teacherish.
“Both of you guys are right,” she barked, fed up. “So, I’m going to get off this phone and reflect on the error of my ways. I’ll talk to you two later.”
Hanging up, she took pleasure in slamming the phone back in its cradle. Staring around her kitchen, she wondered when the world had tipped on its axis without her knowing.
First, her youngest sister Lily pops up out of the clear blue sky expecting a baby, blithely announcing several months later that she married the father, a NASA mission something or other. Now, Daisy too, had hopped on the matrimony train. And, to make matters worse, both of her sisters had tied themselves to men just like their father! Well, Holly deliberated, her brothers-in-law weren’t just like their father. Of course they were military men, which put them in the same bracket, but, if she were honest, Scott was the one who most resembled her dad.
Frowning, Holly wondered when she’d started thinking of Commander Gilcrist as Scott? She shouldn’t be using his first name, even in thought.
The vaunted boundary of ethics and sensibility was a sacred one. And by rights, she should probably excuse hersel
f from his treatment.
How could she make an effective impression on him, lead him down the path of true mental health, if she couldn’t get past the sexual intrigue plaguing her mind?
Maybe I need MHS.
Quickly deciding that a visit to her own shrink wouldn’t be remiss, she dialed the number for Captain Hapley, the leading psychiatrist on board at Naval Station Norfolk.
She listened intently to the autocratic but friendly message of his voice mail, waiting somewhat impatiently for the beep. “Hey, Rommel,” she murmured, still a bit unused to calling the Captain by his first name. “It’s me, Holly … Lieutenant Burton. I need to speak with you. I have a few meetings tomorrow, but I’ll make time whenever you’re available. Just give me a call when you can. You know the number.”
Hanging up, she held the cordless a moment before returning it to its cradle.
She’d put the Commander on the defensive when she rebuffed him from using her first name. The words of their verbal sparring still rang fresh in her mind. Why did she tell him only her younger patients referred to her as Holly when she knew that wasn’t true?
Because you don’t want him to know you.
Again Holly wondered why she didn’t excuse herself from his treatment. From the get-go, she’d made so many mistakes. The latest catastrophe with her sisters didn’t help the unnerving feelings in her mind either. Now both Daisy and Lily were mad. Unfortunately for her, both her siblings were adept at holding grudges. It might be weeks before she spoke with them again, and then it would only be after much prodding—prostrating—on her behalf.
She wasn’t angry with them for marrying military men. Mainly, it was confusion reigning supreme. Their father, while great in his own way, had always been absent. He’d missed so many birthday parties, holidays, and first events. She could barely remember him being there for anything. Their high school graduation, when each of the sisters vowed to never marry a man like their dad, had been the last straw for her. She thought it had been the last straw for Daisy and Lily.
Apparently, she’d been wrong.
Sighing, she flounced down on her couch as her stomach rebelled with hunger.
It had been hours since she’d last eaten and gnawing pain was steadily shredding what little self-control she had left.
“No wonder you’re acting like a raving lunatic,” she mumbled, moisture gathering in her eyes in spite of her resolve.
Too bad she hadn’t thought about stopping at the grocery store. The only thing edible in her fridge were some eggs and a hunk of moldy cheese. “There’s also some Hornsby,” she remarked, thinking of the four bottles of apple cider ale.
Most of the provisions stored in her cabinet were canned, but there were plenty of soups and chili. She could come up with something. She might even be able to scrounge up some crackers. And, she also had the cheese.
“Yuck,” she exclaimed, remembering what the hunk of Cracker Barrel looked like last time she’d seen it.
Rising, Holly released the thick swath of hair ruthlessly secured in a twisted, ponytail bun. Her hair tumbled past her shoulders and far down her back, and she massaged her scalp in an effort to relax. She was happy to be home, regardless of the depressing way in which she’d arrived. Without conscious thought, her restless mind wandered back to Scott.
“Commander Gilcrist,” she corrected. “If you’re going to treat him you damn well better start calling him by what he’s supposed to be called.”
Still, anticipation rolled through her.
She could envision his handsome visage.
Good Lord!
She was going to meet with him again in seven short days and she was talking to herself.
“UGH!”
That man was the devil incarnate. He’d gotten under her skin like a tick, eager for fresh blood. Laughing to herself, she checked her arms for signs of burrowing.
“Hornsby. I definitely need a beer.”
Chapter Five
Holly stood from behind her desk, her gaze connected with the heated blue eyes capturing her attention. She refused to think about how handsome the Commander looked in his neatly pressed uniform—refused to acknowledge the subtle traces of sexual power rolling off his body.
“Welcome back, sir. Please make yourself comfortable,” she said stiffly, gesturing toward the chair.
“You don’t normally conduct business from behind your desk do you, Lieutenant?”
She blinked, slightly disconcerted by the question. “No, not usually, yet I figured you’d be more comfortable with this setting.”
A ray of light streamed through the open blinds of her office window, adding a wicked glint to his pearly white teeth. “And why would you assume that?”
“Because you do not wish to be here, sir. You’ve made that very obvious since the beginning.”
“So you think putting a desk between us will reduce those feelings?”
She didn’t think that at all. Yet from the first moment she’d laid eyes on the Commander, the need for a little space seemed paramount. Normally she conducted her sessions from the two plush blue cotton chairs on the back wall because they were positioned near the door, allowing for a quick and easy exit route if need be. During her six years of active therapy, she’d only had three patients become violent. Yet, personal safety was always first and foremost.
Holly turned her gaze toward the two chairs, thinking personal safety didn’t take the place of common sense. The last thing she wanted was to be close enough to him to reach out and touch, especially since touching him all over his body kept figuring prominently in her mind.
“Why don’t we sit over here, Lieutenant,” he instructed, challenging her with his dark blue eyes.
Holly took several deep breaths to still the anxious worry in her mind. She had to bury her personal feelings, or else she’d do more harm than good. Even though her initial assessment led her to believe the Commander was not suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, she didn’t have enough detailed information to make an accurate determination.
Although he was obstinate, she had made a breakthrough in their last session. She would do so again, even though she’d be sitting way too close for comfort.
Moving slowly from behind her desk, she straightened her spine to appear detached and professional. “I’m glad to see that you’ve gained such a positive attitude toward our sessions.”
“Not positive, Holly. Resigned.”
She sighed loudly, determined not be put off guard. “That’s great, but there’s no need to relax on the formalities, Commander.”
“But I like your name. It rolls off the tongue very well.” He smiled, making a show of running said tongue across his lips. “Holly.”
She controlled the shivers running up her spine with iron-willed resolve. “Dr. Burton is more appreciated.”
“If you say so,” he murmured, waiting for her to sit before dropping his long body into the chair beside her.
“I do.”
He chuckled softly. “You’re no fun, doc.”
Holly pinched her lips to keep from smiling. He didn’t have a clue how fun she could be. Shaking her head to clear her errant thoughts, she picked up her pen and notepad. “So, you are resigned. That’s as good a place as any to begin. Perhaps by the end of our session, I’ll be able to turn that resignation into awareness. So let’s start with how your week went.”
“Actually, my week didn’t go well. I had a mountain of paperwork to catch up on.”
“Is that what you did all week? Work?”
“I may have done a few other things,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes.
“And what would those be?”
“I did single guys’ things.”
She smiled, willing to draw this out for however long he wanted. “What do single guys do?
“Well, I can’t speak for all of my unattached brethren, but I watched some sports and cooked out on the grill,”
Very middle American. “That sounds relaxing.”
“Really. I don’t think so. Hot sex is relaxing, Lieutenant. This is just what I did in my spare time.”
“So did you do that as well this weekend?” she asked, ignoring the tendrils of jealous emotion snaking through her brain.
“Are you asking for personal reasons?”
“Yes, my personal interest in your overall well-being.”
“Do you show such concern for all of your patients?” he countered.
“In terms of their well-being, yes. But answer my question, Commander.”
“No, I didn’t engage in any hot sex this week. Doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it, though.”
“Did you engage in other relationships? Let’s say with friends, or your father?”
He grimaced, and fast as lightning, the tension inside the office skyrocketed. “I have very few friends. And my father and I have never spent a friendly weekend together, much less a week.”
Holly seized the information like a viper striking its prey. “Do you visit each other at all?”
“I thought the purpose of these sessions was to determine if I’m fit for duty. None of that has anything to do with the Admiral,” he sneered.
“You sure about that?”
“Absolutely. Now let’s move to another topic,” he paused, his eyes glowing with an inner fire. “You, for instance.”
His voice was so seductive, almost hypnotic, but she wouldn’t be deterred. She couldn’t be.
Narrowing her eyes, she squared her shoulders. “Yes, let’s talk about me. I, Commander, in thinking about our previous session, am very concerned with how you’re dealing with your last assignment. I have a strong impression that it’s troubling you in some fashion.”
He grunted, tossing his head like an angry lion. “What do you mean?”
“That’s what I’d like your help on,” she snapped. “It’s obvious that whatever you experienced affected you in a negative way.”
“Lieutenant, I’ve successfully completed over thirty missions for my country. I’ve saved countless lives and have personally been instrumental in ensuring the freedoms many Americans hold sacred. Positive and negative factors don’t count with me. My only concern is that I get the job done.”
Operation Love Page 17