Ulla's Courage

by Agnes Alexander

  Cord moaned.

  “Oh, no, Saul. He’s hurting.”

  “Yes, he is, but he won’t remember the pain if he makes it.”

  Ulla gave him a sharp look. “What do you mean, if he makes it?”

  “I’m going to do my best to pull him through, Ulla, but a lot will depend on whether or not he has internal injuries.”

  Before she could say anything else, they reached the wagon and she stood back as they placed Cord inside. Saul climbed in behind him. Ulla started to follow, but Naomi put her hand on Ulla’s shoulder. “Here, honey, take Will. Saul might need my help.”

  “But…”

  A crying Becky came running up and threw her arms around Ulla. “Is my daddy dead?”

  Ulla took a deep breath, shifted Will to her left hip and put her free arm around the child. “No, darling. Doctor Saul is helping him.”

  “But I heard a man say Daddy was dying.” Becky tried to get to the tailgate of the wagon.

  Ulla held her back. “I want to climb in the wagon, too, Becky, but the doctor needs to work on your daddy. We would be in the way.”

  “I won’t …”

  “You wouldn’t want to be in there and be in the way of the doctor helping Daddy, would you?”

  She shook her head.

  “Tell you what, you get us a chair and we’ll sit here close to the wagon so when the doctor gets through, we can climb inside and see Daddy.”

  “Okay.” In a minute she was back with two chairs. There were still tears in her eyes. “I don’t want Daddy to die, Mama.”

  “I don’t either, Becky.”

  Ivy approached them.

  “Ulla, would you like for me to take Will and Becky?”

  “I want to stay with Mama,” Becky said.

  “Mama.” Will giggled and patted Ulla’s face. “Daddy fall.”

  “Yes, darling. Daddy fall.” She looked up at her friend. “Thank you, Ivy, but I think I’ll keep the children with me.”

  “I understand. Kathleen just came up and said she’d take care of Becky when you want her to. Charlene and Beulah and I will be close by if you need us.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  It wasn’t long until Will went to sleep in Ulla’s arms. She nodded to Ivy to come get him. After he was secure and asleep in the Nettletons’ wagon, Becky whispered, “Do you think I’m too old to sit in your lap?”

  “Absolutely not.” Ulla held out her arms. “Come here.”

  Becky climbed in her lap and looked up. “When I wanted to sit in her lap, my grandma Anderson said I was too big for laps and I had to always sit in a chair and act like a lady.”

  “Well, as your mama, I say you can sit in my lap whenever you want to.”

  “Does that mean you still love me, Mama?”

  Ulla hugged her close. “Of course, I love you, Becky. What made you think I didn’t?”

  “You were mad at me cause Will run away.”

  Ulla knew she had to concentrate on what she said. There was the possibility she was the only parent the child might have after today. No, she scolded herself. Cord is going to be fine and we’ll all be happy again. “Becky, I wasn’t mad. I was scared. I would have been the same way if you had disappeared. A mama gets frightened when something happens to one of her children. She might say something she wouldn’t otherwise say.”

  Becky hugged Ulla’s neck. “I’m glad you still love me, Mama. I love you and I’m sorry I let Will get gone.”

  “Your daddy found Will before I did and your little brother is fine. Now, you relax and we won’t talk about it anymore.”

  “Where did Daddy find Will?”

  “He was down at the river. I think he was trying to find me.”

  “I’m glad Daddy found him.”

  “Me, too.”

  There was a pause. Then Becky said, “I hope Daddy gets well.”

  “Me, too, sweetheart. Me, too.”

  They were interrupted when Naomi climbed out of the wagon. “I think you should come inside, Ulla.”

  Ulla’s heart lurched as she stood and sat Becky on her feet. “Is he…”

  Kathleen walked up. “Becky, you come with me and...”

  “I want to go with Mama.”

  “You can go later, honey,” Naomi said. “Mama needs to see your daddy alone. You go with Kathleen and check on Will.”

  “He’s asleep.”

  “We’ll make sure.” Naomi took one of Becky’s hands and Kathleen took the other. They walked away.

  Ulla rushed to the back of the wagon with a prayer on her lips. Oh, God. Please don’t let Cord be dead or dying. The children and I need him. Please God. Please.

  Chapter Twelve

  Cord lay on the mattress with the lower half of his body covered with a sheet to his waist. A bandage on his head has spots of blood on it and his left arm was wrapped and in a sling. There were bruises on the left side of his face and upper body, especially his shoulder.

  Ulla gasped. “Is he…”

  “Don’t panic, Ulla.” Saul warned her. “He’s in bad shape, but for the time being, he’s alive.”

  “For the time being?”

  “I’ve taken care of all his outward injuries, but I can’t tell what’s going on inside. He hit those rocks full force and he could have messed up any of his organs. It’ll be a few days before we’re sure he’s all right inside.” Saul shook his head. “He’s a brave man. I’m sure he knew he was falling and deliberately turned so he’d hit the rocks instead of letting his boy take the impact. It’s a good thing, too. If the child had hit this hard, it probably would’ve killed him.”

  “Oh, Saul.” A tear ran down her cheek.

  “Now, young lady, I didn’t tell you this to upset you. Just wanted you to know what I thought happened. Now, get hold of yourself. It’s going to take a lot of courage to help your husband through this.”

  “I’m sorry for being so weak. What can I do to help him?”

  “Don’t be sorry for your feelings. He’s your man and I know how much you two care about each other. You’re just going to have be the strong one until he’s on his feet again.”

  “I understand and I will be strong.”

  He nodded. “Good. As you can see, his left side is where he’s hurt the worst. I’ve set his broken arm and bandaged as many of the cuts and bruises as I could. His hip must have hit almost as hard as his left arm and shoulder and a lot of the skin is gone, but thank heavens, it’s not broken. The bandage on it is going to need changing every day. You’re going to have to do it if I’m not available.”

  “I can do that, Saul, but how about the other bandages?”

  “The one on his head will need to be changed again soon because of the blood, but I’ll do that tonight. It should then be fine until tomorrow.” He sighed. “Naomi is getting some of the women to rip up a sheet so we’ll have enough bandages.”

  “I have more sheets that can be used.”

  “You also have a couple of children and you’ll need them for your beds. Most of us can spare at least one without any hardship.”

  “We won’t need too many. I can wash the bandages.”

  “That’s fine, Ulla. Wash them when you can, but you’re not going to have many chances to do laundry.” When she started to protest, he held up his hand. “The bandages are a small sacrifice for the people, and it makes the women feel good to do something to help in situations like this. I’m going to see if I can round up enough men to get your wagon on its way.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that, but I’m sure Pete will help.”

  “We’ll all help as much as we can, so you won’t have to do anything except take care of your husband.” He patted her shoulder. “I’m going to my wagon now, but I’ll come back before you bed down tonight. If you need me sooner, just send the word.”

  “I will, Saul. Thank you.” She watched him climb out of the wagon, then she knelt beside Cord. Taking his right hand in hers, she whispered. “We’ll get through this, my
love. All you have to do is get well. I’ll take care of everything else. Just don’t leave me alone because the children and I need you.”

  It was then the silent tears began to fall in earnest.

  ~ * ~

  Ulla didn’t argue when Esther Guggenheim appeared and asked to take Becky to her wagon to spend the night. Will fell asleep in the Nettletons’ wagon and Ivy insisted he be left there. After thinking it over, Ulla agreed it would be best. Cord had yet to regain full consciousness and she knew she’d be needed when he did.

  When she settled on the mattress near him, she didn’t think she’d be able to sleep, but she did doze. She was half in and half out of sleep when Cord’s groans made her jerk awake. She rose up, lit the lantern and leaned over him. “Are you waking up, Cord?”

  He opened an eye. “I hurt.”

  “I know. Let me get you something.” She set the lantern on a trunk and reached for the medicine Saul had left.

  Before she could open the bottle, Cord whispered, “I’m sorry, Ulla.”

  She frowned. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Cord.”

  “I tried to save him. I really wanted to.” A tear appeared in his eye.

  She wasn’t sure if it was because of the pain or if he was talking about something else. “You did a brave…”

  “I didn’t realize until I thought he was going to die that I do love him.” His voice grew raspy and weaker.

  She continued to frown. “What are you talking about?”

  He gasped for breath. “Why aren’t you upset with me? I killed him.”

  “I don’t know what you think you’ve done, Cord, but you didn’t kill anyone.”

  “The limb broke…I…we fell …” His voice trailed off.

  “Do you think you dropped Will?”

  There was no answer. Cord was again lost to reality.

  Ulla touched his face and whispered, “Oh, Cord. You think Will is dead and it’s your fault. But that’s not so. Thanks to you, he’s fine. I will explain everything to you when you wake up again.”

  She set the medicine back and blew out the lantern. At least maybe he could sleep naturally for a while. Though she knew it helped his pain, she didn’t like him being in a drugged sleep. She wanted his mind clear so she could let him know what really happened on that tree branch over the falls. And what a hero he was to her and everyone else who had watched the rescue.

  The rest of the night passed with him sleeping. When the trumpet sounded for the morning readying to move the wagon train, Ulla jumped up and dressed quickly. Checking Cord to be sure he was still sleeping, she climbed out of the back of the wagon.

  Ivy met her. “How is he doing, Ulla?”

  “He’s still out. He did wake up for a few minutes last night. He kept mumbling about how he’d killed Will.”

  “I’m sure you explained that Will was alive and well.”

  “I wanted to, but he went right back to sleep.”

  Ivy nodded. “I told Pete I’d be taking care of Will today so I couldn’t help as much with the team.”

  “No, Ivy. I’ll take care of Will. And Becky, too. The children will stay in the wagon with me.”

  “But what if Cord gets worse or, God forbid, he…” Ivy didn’t finish her sentence.

  “Cord is not going to die, Ivy. I don’t believe God will take him away from us now. We need him.”

  “I hope you’re right.” Ivy put her hand on Ulla’s arm. “Come and get some coffee and something to eat. Pete said he would hitch up your team and I think he said Eli Guggenheim is going to drive your wagon today. We’ll be close by if you need us.”

  Ulla nodded. “I need to milk the cow.”

  “Not this morning. Naomi said she was coming to milk it.” Ivy poured a cup of coffee for her friend. “In fact, here she comes now. She has Becky with her.”

  Becky broke loose of Naomi’s hand and ran. “Mama!”

  Ulla held out her arms. “Come on, sweetheart.”

  Becky began to cry. “I wanted to come sleep with you, but they wouldn’t let me.”

  “It’s fine. You’re here now. We need to eat a little then get Will. The three of us are going to ride in the wagon with your daddy today.”

  Becky stared at her. “I thought Daddy was dead.”

  “No, honey. He’s not dead, but he’s very sick. You’re going to have to help me keep Will quiet so your daddy can rest.”

  “I will, Mama.”

  Ulla got Will from Ivy’s wagon and she and the children ate breakfast together. She then watched as Saul arrived to check on Cord and change the bandages.

  When he climbed out of the wagon, he put his hand on her shoulder. “He’s holding his own, Ulla. It won’t be easy, but try to keep him as comfortable as you can when we get started.”

  “I will, Saul.”

  “In case he wakes up and the pain is too much, I left some extra laudanum because you’ll probably need it when the wagon starts to bump along the trail.”

  “Thanks, Saul. He woke up last night, but he didn’t stay awake long. I didn’t even have time to give him any medicine.”

  “That’s a good sign, but he still has a long way to go, and I hope he wakes up more and more. Every day will help him get stronger, but I’m still not promising anything. It’ll take a while to see if there are any injuries inside that we’re unable to see.”

  “I understand, but I’m going to think positive. The children and I need him.”

  He smiled. “And he sure needs the three of you.”

  Pete came up with the mules. He hitched them to the Dermott wagon. Nodding to Ulla, he said, “I don’t know if anyone told you, Ulla, but Saul’s son, Eli will be coming to drive you today.”

  Saul smiled at her. “He insisted he wanted to help out and I told him I could handle our team. He should be here soon.”

  “I hate to be so much trouble.”

  “It’s no trouble, Ulla. We’re all glad to help. I’ll see you later today.”

  “Don’t feel bad about needing help, Ulla. You know Ivy and I will be right behind you on the trail today. In case you need us or want anything, all you have to do is let us know.”

  “I know that and I appreciate it.” She stood and held Will out to Ivy. “I think I’ll get in the wagon now. Are you ready, Becky?”

  “Yes, Mama.”

  “I’ll give Will to you as soon as you’re settled inside.” Ivy followed her to the wagon.

  In a few minutes, Ulla was settled on the mattress beside Cord and Becky sat beside her. Will cuddled in her lap, but he was quiet. Finally Becky broke the silence. “Mama, Daddy looks bad.”

  “He’s very sick, honey, but we’re going to take good care of him and he’ll be better soon.”

  “Daddy fall,” Will said.

  Ulla pulled him close. “Yes, sweetheart. Daddy fall just so you would be safe. I’m so proud of him.”

  “I guess that means he really does love Will, don’t it, Mama?”

  “Yes, Becky. I’m sure that’s exactly what it means.” She smiled at her daughter. “Now why don’t you get one of your books and read something. I’m sure Will would love to hear a story.”

  “Story.”

  “Yes, sweetheart. A story for you.” She placed Will on the mattress beside Becky. “We should be leaving soon and I want to be able to help your father if he needs me.”

  “Yes, Mama.” She turned to her little brother. “Now, Will, we have to be good and help Mama so she can help Daddy.”

  “Daddy.”

  “Yes. Now sit still and I’ll read to you.”

  Ulla smiled and turned her attention to her husband. Oh, Cord, I can’t wait until you’re yourself again so you can see how lucky we are to be parents. We have two wonderful children and one day we’ll add to the family. I so want to give you more sons to carry on your name. Of course, another little girl would be nice, too. All you have to do is get well. Then I will do my part.

  In spite of the shaking and bouncing wagon, the
children drifted off to sleep. Ulla put them down on one of the mattresses. Because she didn’t know what else she could do, she lay beside Cord so she’d be there if he awakened and needed her.

  ~ * ~

  Cord slept through the day, but Ulla didn’t know how. He did grunt every so often when the wagon hit a rut or swayed to the side. When they stopped for the nooning, both Becky and Will were bored and restless. Ivy insisted on taking them to her wagon. She promised to watch them carefully even though she was going to permit Becky to play with Joe.

  Saul came to check Cord again and told her he was doing well. He did say she should relax a little and get some rest because Cord’s recovery was going to be a slow process and he’d need her even more when he regained consciousness.

  She promised she’d try to rest and she was able to do so for a little while. But Cord grew restless and she sat up and checked him.

  He opened his eyes and muttered, “I’m sorry, Ulla. I tried my best.”

  “Cord, you have nothing to be sorry about. You may think Will was hurt, but he wasn’t. You saved his life by risking your own.”

  “The limb broke and he began to slip…”

  “Shh. Please listen to me, Cord.” She had to convince him Will was alive and fine.

  He gave her a slight nod and didn’t speak.

  “Will is fine. You saved his life.” She had to make him understand. “He and Becky are with the Nettletons. When we stop for supper, I’ll bring them back to our wagon so we can all sleep together.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Ulla. I know what happened.”

  “I’d never lie to you, Cord. You may think you know what happened when that limb broke, but you don’t. You were able to shift to protect Will and in the process you were hurt yourself.”

  “I hurt, but I should have been the one to die.”

  “Don’t talk like that. The children and I need you and all you have to do is get well for us.” She smiled at him. “Now tell me, how do you feel, darling? Do you need medicine for the pain?”

  He didn’t reply and Ulla knew he’d drifted off to sleep.

  The rest of the day’s travel was hard on Cord. He continually moaned and groaned, but he never came fully awake. Ulla was glad when they stopped for the night because she knew with the wagon still, he’d be able to rest.