Envy (Seven Deadly Sins)

by Laura Cooper

  “Didn’t work out. You know how this works. She just wasn’t quite as happy with the lifestyle as she thought she’d be.”

  “You mean she figured out you didn’t care.”

  “I cared about you Liz. I still do, you know that. I’ve tried to call you a thousand times.”

  “I don’t want that from you, ever again.”

  “C’mon Liz. Don’t you miss it?”

  “Not in the least.”

  “You’re lying,” he said plainly. He was right, and he knew it. I did miss being able to surrender my entire world to him, allowing him to use me, and gathering my pleasure from truly serving another person. But he broke the trust when he took on the other girl. It was never supposed to be like that.

  “Ahh, I get it now. New guy, huh?”

  “No, that’s not it.” Once again he stared right through me. I keep forgetting that he actually knew me better than anyone, and lying to him would ultimately prove useless.

  “Who is it? Somebody that fag of a brother set you up with?” His words angered me, yet I hesitated to show that to him. Benton knew full well who the man in my life was; he was toying with me. His power was strong, attractive, intriguing, and the battle between my left and right brain seemed to only get louder when I was around him. He could see my hesitation, and in usual ‘Benton’ fashion he took that opportunity to needle past my defenses. “Oh right…Mr. Michaud,” he said, drawing his name out like a taunting little school boy. “Well tell me Liz, is he a good master? Does he make you beg for mercy when you’ve come so hard and so many times that you’re both dripping wet?”

  I hated Benton Frazier now, more than ever. He knew my buttons, and he knew how to push them. “It’s not like that at all, Benton.”

  “You mean, he doesn’t know? He doesn’t know how big a sex freak you are?” His voice sounded incredulous as if he couldn’t believe I could last a single day without being tied to something.

  “Benton, stop,” I pleaded.

  “He doesn’t know that you’re nothing more than a cock hungry slut who will do anything for her master?”

  “I’m begging you, Benton. Don’t…”

  “Don’t what? Tell Mr. Michaud about his little slut of a girlfriend? Did you tell him how you sucked and fucked me on command? Well slut? Does he know?” I stood there, dumbfounded, unable to think in his presence. This was exactly what it was like being with him. Before I’d always felt he cared about me; I’d left that fantasy was in a dumpster somewhere outside his apartment when I’d found the new girl. Yet with each word I realized that I was more and more attracted to his power, his influence, the very sound of his voice. My panties were noticeably wet now, and it amazed me just how little it took to bring me to that place. Maybe I missed it more than I thought I did. “Answer me, slut,” he ordered with casual finesse.

  “No!” I shouted, suddenly realizing my volume. I snuck a peek to the right and left, making sure no one heard me. “No, he doesn’t know. It’s not that kind of relationship,” I said in a lower voice. My mind raced through all the things he made me do. The frat parties where I was on my knees so long they just hurt, sucking his cock until he was through with me. The friends he let watch. The toys and dildos he unmercifully fucked me with, forcing me to orgasm over and over until my entire being was numb. All the taboo things I never thought I’d do, let alone enjoy.

  “But you wish he did do that for you, don’t you slut.”

  “No Benton. Stop. Don’t do this. I need this job. I need this to work out, for now. Palmer just started school, and he deserves this chance you know.”

  “Palmer, Palmer, Palmer. I swear, Liz, that brother is the real albatross around your neck.”

  It was a very ‘Benton’ like thing to say, but it brought me back to my new reality. His words now cut my soul with a new meaning. “Don’t ever talk about Palmer again!”

  I grabbed Nucy’s collar and fastened the leash, pulling her away from him. “See you later, Liz,” Benton said, that crooked backwoods Southern lawyer look plastered on his face. “We’ll talk about it later, when you’ve had time to think,” he yelled after me.

  That stopped me dead in my tracks. I turned to face him. This was it! My moment of truth, the moment I’d been waiting for; the very moment when I could face my demon and slap him down. And just when I was about to get the closure I so desperately needed…I folded like a cheap suit from Bluestein’s. “There’s nothing to talk about!”

  I turned around in a huff and marched back towards my building. Nothing to talk about, I mouthed silently as I inwardly chastised myself for not putting Benton Frazier in his place once and for all. I didn’t have it in me.

  *-*-*-*-*-*-*

  I turned the key to open the apartment door and discovered Palmer standing in the kitchen in his underwear. Tighty whities, not boxers. “Jesus, Palmer. Put some clothes on,” I said as I struggled to unhook Nucy’s leash.

  Palmer poured milk into a tall Tervis tumbler filled with cereal, and began drinking it. Sometimes he could be such a man, I thought. He swallowed a mouthful of cereal and crunched loudly, wiping his chin with his forearm. “You just missed him, ya’ know.”

  “Who?”

  “Killer Carlton. You just missed him. Stopped by here about five minutes ago.”

  “Did he say anything?”

  “Not really. Just asked where you were. Oh, and if you came home last night.”

  Damn, I thought. I really wanted to see him. Maybe I could run down and catch him, especially if I wasn’t fighting Nucy. Without another thought, I flew out the door and down the hall, frantically pressing the elevator button. Of course, when you need an elevator you can never get one. I dashed the idea of waiting and pushed open the door to the stairwell. It’s only five flights, I thought to myself.

  I burst out into the streets and crossed over to the park. I could see him, dressed in his usual black shorts and white shirt. Carlton might not want to see me, but Jargon certainly didn’t harbor any bad feelings. He jerked on his leash the moment he saw me, spinning Carlton around.

  “Hey, sorry I missed you!” I said as I trotted up to them.

  Jargon jumped on my chest, lathering me huge kisses. “Stopped by, but Palmer said you had already gone down.”

  “Yeah, I didn’t sleep well last night. So I got up early and headed down.”

  “I see. Visions of Benton keep you up?” The venom in his voice was unmistakable.

  “Why Carlton, I do believe you’re jealous!”

  “I doubt that,” he said plainly. “Not an emotion I’m very familiar with.”

  “I would have preferred an evening alone with you, Carlton. You’re the one who invited him.”

  “I know, Liz. I’m certain I didn’t plan that out carefully enough. You two looked very, very comfortable together last night.”

  “I wouldn’t say comfortable. Far from it.”

  “You two were together,” he started to say, “before…”

  “Listen, Carlton. I won’t lie to you. Benton and I dated for several years, and I won’t deny that in Charleston we were the couple to be. But he…”

  “Stop, Liz. I don’t want to get in between two lovers.”

  “That’s enough, Carlton Michaud! You don’t know the half of it!” I didn’t have much experience berating people; I hoped it came across as forceful as I felt.

  I looked into his eyes, and for the first time he actually looked as if he didn’t know what to say. Did I seriously just render Killer Carlton speechless? Damn there may be a future for me with this law thing after all!

  “Well Liz, why don’t you tell me?”

  Wow, it was mighty early in the morning to deal with raw emotions. First the sleepless night, then having Benton confront me in the park, and now ‘Mr. Man of Steel’ needs his ego stroked? There must be a better time and place to explain myself.

  “Let’s just say, it was the past, and now it’s over.”

  “It didn’t look like it was over last ni
ght, Liz.”

  “You saw exactly what Benton wanted you to see. That is the definition of a southern lawyer; he’s a magician, slight of hand… get it? Don’t tell me you couldn’t see that? If you don’t want to see me again…”

  “I never said that,” Carlton interrupted.

  “Then quit acting like some spoiled rotten little kid who got mad and took his ball and went home!”

  I’m pretty sure Carlton Michaud had never had anyone talk to him that way. The expression on his face was priceless, but not appealing. I’d hurt the very man I wanted to be with, but quite frankly he put me in this position. “Now I’ll hear no more of this, Carlton,” I said, hoping I could reel him back into me.

  “You’re quite right, Liz. I’m sure I simply took it the wrong way.”

  “You know what, baby? I warned you that he’s a snake in the grass. Now you’ve gone and gotten your feelings hurt. Trust me, it could’ve been a lot worse. That man’ll stab you in the back, then ask you to reimburse him for the knife.” I smiled hopefully, “Forgive me, Carlton?”

  His hand slid across my cheek sweetly, “For what?”

  “For not fully impressing upon you that you are the man I’m in love with!” I grabbed his hand and pressed it to my lips.

  He gazed down at me with a tenderness his law buddies would never believe. “Oh well then, I’ll be sure to make sure you have ample opportunity to impress me!”

  I knew he was still upset over last night, yet I couldn’t think of another place I wanted to be. We strolled through Central Park hand in hand, our love openly on display.

  *-*-*-*-*-*-*

  Paul stood hovering in my doorway. I knew he wanted to know the plan, but I couldn’t help but think he was a little creepy this early in the morning. “He’s here. In the conference room. Want me to go up with you?”

  “No, Paul. I got it,” I said, and I’m sure the look on my face showed my lack of enthusiasm.

  The last thing I wanted was to be in a room alone with Benton, all I could do was pray that he stuck to business. I’d tried to prepare myself for this mid-morning meeting the best I could. I’d laid out three different solutions that had been approved by our client. All Benton needed to do was read through them, add advice or clarity, and then present them to the Ports Authority. Simple as that... what was I thinking? Nothing was ever that simple with Benton Frazier. I gathered my things, slipped on my heels and headed out my office and to the elevator.

  I was prepared for this, I thought. I’d ditched Palmer’s outfit this morning, opting for a much longer skirt with pantyhose. I even put on the largest period underwear I could find. My blouse was buttoned all the way to the top, leaving me absolutely no possible way to entice a man. And visions of catholic school danced in my head.

  Benton, as I expected, was dressed to impress. His suit, another signature Berlin’s I felt sure, was tailored perfectly. A bright red power tie and gold cuff links sporting his family insignia accented the French cuffs on his crisp white shirt. He’d assumed the chair at the head of the conference room. A bold stance; perhaps he was here to work after all? His usual bad habit of spreading everything out as if he had simply turned his briefcase upside down and dumped all the items in a pile was on display in front of him. It disarmed people; one of his many tricks. It was part of his personality to be an illusionist. He appeared disorganized, but make no mistake, he was as cold and calculating as any lawyer on the planet.

  “Benton,” I said as plainly and professionally as I could.

  He raised his head and leaned back into the chair. That incredible smile swept over his face as he made himself comfortable. I was sure at any moment he would put his feet up on the table, giving the effect of wiping his shoes with our prestigious New York law firm. “Good morning, Liz. Please, come on in,” he said, motioning to the chair next to his.

  I took the chair, as indicated. Not because I wanted him to take control. On the contrary, I didn’t want him to think I was scared. I was, but I needed to pick my battles carefully. I’d been up most of the night strategizing this meeting. He may have pushed me over with his sudden appearance in my new city but it’d be a cold day in hell before he handled my clients.

  “I see we can expect your usual approach. What is it? Throw it all against the wall, whatever sticks is what you’re going with?”

  “C’mon Liz. Give me a little more credit than that,” he said, furrowing his brow and looking at me with the biggest set of puppy dog eyes Charleston had to offer. “This is really pretty simple,” he said. “I see two, maybe three options that should make this go away pretty fast.”

  “I see. You spent all night putting this together?”

  “Nah, sugar. Just ran through it this morning. Besides, you know what the Port Authority wants. They just want to flex a little muscle, put on a little show. Sort of thing that keeps the Chinese companies in line.”

  “I figured as much. I have my proposals, so if you want to pick one, we can run it by the client. They’re expecting a conference call.”

  Benton leaned over and grabbed a manila folder that was stuck somewhere near the bottom of his pile of papers. He pulled it out and opened it. “Yes,” he said, drawing out the word for effect. “This should do it.” He slapped the folder on the conference room table and slid it over to me. “The top sheet outlines our three proposals. Underneath you’ll find all the statutes and precedents to support each option. That’s your copy. So just give ‘em that, then call me and tell me which one you want drafted up.”

  “Impressive, Benton,” I said as I looked in the folder. “You did all this?”

  “Well, that cute little red head with the big tits and pretty feet was more than helpful this morning. Gotta give Carlton some kudos. Man’s got a great staff,” he said with a chuckle.

  “I see.”

  “Alright Liz, enough work for the day. Let’s get out of here and grab some lunch and take a carriage ride in the park; maybe grab a nice little bottle of red wine for celebrating. You know that kind you like… uh… Ménage a Trois?”

  “Mr. Frazier, Ms. Martin? Making ourselves comfortable?”

  I looked up and there he was: Carlton, in that same angered stance that he was in last night. Only this time he was at the other end of the conference room table. I never even heard him come in.

  “Carlton!” Benton sang out. “Glad you’re here. We’ve just finished up our meeting, and we’re headed out to grab some lunch. Why don’t you join us?”

  “No, we’re not doing lunch…” I tried to interject.

  “Perhaps another time, Mr. Frazier. How’s my case coming along?”

  “Well, I think we’re done here. Short call with the client, then we’ll draft it up and get with the Port Authority. I’m sure it’ll be handled in a week. Two tops!”

  “Very well, carry on. Mr. Frazier, Ms. Martin,” Carlton said coolly as he turned and left the room.

  “Okay babe, just you and me for lunch then.”

  “I don’t think so, Benton. You’re amazing…” I said, shaking my head in total disbelief.

  Benton just smiled that fake, permanent smile that helped him into so many pairs of panties in Charleston and said, “I know. Right?”

  I stood up quickly, convinced that the fumes rising out of my eyes and nostrils would be noticeable to anyone. I could go down to Wall Street and stand next to the bull and no one would be able to tell the difference between us! Fuck this man rode my last nerve! I pursed my lips and in a low, guttural voice said, “You’re such an ass.”

  Benton grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards him in his usual forceful way. “I said lunch, and that’s what I meant. I came all the way up here, and the least you could do is have lunch. After all we’ve been through, after all you left behind. I could have given you the world Liz, and you spat it all back in my face. Perhaps you’d rather I tell Carlton who you really are?”

  Now I was seeing the real Benton Frazier; the one everyone who crosses him gets to see. Why cou
ldn’t Carlton walk in and catch him holding me against my will? No, Benton Frazier was not to be denied. The fucked up thing is that’s what really attracted me to him in the first place: his drive, his unrelenting passion when he sets his mind on something had always turned me on. But I no longer belonged to him, or did I? I cursed my body under my breath as it was betraying me right beneath the yard of cotton panties I wore. My nipples were hard, and the granny panties were surely soaking wet. His forceful ways seemed to trigger an uncontrollable urge to please him in every way. I clenched my toes in my heels and fought the desire to scratch his fuckin’ eyes out. I wanted him. Well, not him, but someone like him to take me. Take me with great need. To slam me up against the wall, pull my hair and force his way into my body. My mouth, my hands, my pussy, my ass; they were all ready to be taken. All he needed to do was… do it!

  “Yes, Benton. Lunch.”

  “That’s better,” he said, slapping my ass for confirmation. “I knew my little slut was still in there.”

  Dammit! He was reading me like a book. His offer, if you could call it that, was what has been missing in my life since I left for New York. And I despised him for it. I only wished it was Carlton, not Benton.

  *-*-*-*-*-*-*

  I waited nervously in the lobby of our building. I thought the whole damn thing was too screwed up. This is where the old part of my life would come into play. With Benton, I had to concern myself with nothing. When things got tough, he’d step in and take control, overseeing every minute detail and allowing me to escape the world of responsibilities, even if for a few moments. And his direct attention to my needs made me want to please him. I’d have done anything for him. Hell, I did do just about anything he wanted. The only thing I would not do was share my master.

  As if my day couldn’t have gotten any worse, Carlton’s limousine pulled up in front of the building. Great, I thought. Now he’s going to see me leave the building with Benton. I don’t think I could fuck this up any more if I tried. The elevator doors opened up and Carlton strode out, walking directly towards me with a confidence few men possess. Perfect, he was just in time to watch me sink back into my old, pathetic ways.