Before the bus was even unloaded we went to work, making our way across the grounds toward the main hospital. The smoke parted to reveal bodies everywhere, all of them writhing and calling out for help. Medics and nurses moved among them, assessing who was critical and who could wait. I didn’t envy them that job.
Once inside, it was clear the fort’s meager hospital was never intended to treat even a fraction of this many wounded. Men lay on tables, gurneys, even the floor. The smell of burned flesh, blood, and sweat was overwhelming and my stomach turned over. I’d seen suffering before, and I’d seen my fair share of blood, but this…this was like nothing I could have imagined.
If only I hadn’t lost my gift. If only I could somehow pray over all these men and stop their bleeding. Why was I even here? I didn’t belong in this chaos! I had no idea what I was doing. My heart raced. My eyes watered. I had to get myself under control.
I closed my eyes for one momentary prayer for courage and peace. And then I set to my work. I cleaned out ghastly wounds, administered morphine, and checked each patient I saw carefully for signs of shock. At first, my legs were weak, and my hands shook, but after a couple of hours, I became numb. The cries blended into one nauseating moan in the background, and I was able to focus on the task at hand.
I was nearly to the point of feeling confident on my feet when I looked up to see Henry being prepared for surgery. I dropped the pan of bloody bandages I’d been carrying and ran to his side. The doctor and nurse attending to him looked up at me in confusion.
“This is my brother!” I screamed, without thinking. I bent over him and called to him, but his eyes didn’t open. I glanced down at his wrecked body. Bullet wounds and shredded flesh; the calf muscle in his right leg spilling out of a gaping wound. I turned to the doctor, who’d already begun removing the bullets.
“Can you save his leg?” I asked.
The doctor glanced up. “There’s no time. I either take the leg now and he lives, or I patch him up and he dies from infection.”
“But the bones are still intact. Can’t you at least try?”
“The blood flow is compromised.” The doctor’s expression indicated he was at his wits’ end. “I don’t have time for a lengthy surgery when there are dozens more men whose lives are hanging by a thread. Now get back to your job.”
“Please, Doctor,” I begged over the commotion. “Just look closely. Don’t take his leg if you can save it.”
He sighed, keeping his eyes on his patient. “Please just let me do my job.”
I backed away, unable to resume my task. All I could see was Henry as a kid, chasing after me in the yard, playing basketball with me as we were losing our home, swimming with me in the creek. He was the only person in the world who knew me. He was the thread keeping me tied to the earth. I prayed with all I had for God to heal him. Then I prayed for the doctor, that he would take the time to save Henry’s leg.
When I opened my eyes, the doctor was examining the leg. He glanced up at me, frowning. “Look, I’ll do what I can, all right? I’ll stitch up the muscles and hope the blood flow stays intact. You’ll have to keep an eye on it, though.”
I nodded, unable to say anything with the knot in my throat. I turned back to my duties, thanking God for hearing my prayer. It was hard to concentrate, but I managed to get through the night without losing my mind. And the surgical team only lost seven men out of all those who’d come through. There was much to be thankful for.
By dawn, I was so exhausted that I feared I might fall asleep standing up. I located Janine, and told her about Henry. We found him recovering in a room full of patients who’d lost one or more limbs. We checked his sutures, checked the color of his swollen leg and foot, and tried to clean away the mud and blood still caked to his body. He never stirred, which worried us both.
“He’s been through so much,” Janine said, a tear slipping down her cheek. “His body just needs to recover. He’ll be all right.”
It seemed as though we were taking turns reassuring each other. “Want to grab a bite to eat?” I asked.
She wiped her brow and tucked strands of greasy hair back under her cap. “I guess we should. I could use a bath. And some sleep.”
Slowly we made our way back outside to a makeshift mess hall set up in one of the tents. Exhausted nurses, medics, and other staff moved through the tent in a dazed, bloody procession. A few nurses who’d been on staff during the initial bombing replayed the previous day’s events. I could hardly imagine the terror of hiding under a table as bombs dropped all around me.
I ate what I could stomach, and then Janine and I returned to the hospital. We were both afraid of another raid, and decided it was best to seek shelter inside. Several other nurses were headed to a bunker underneath the pharmacy, but when we reached it, the putrid smell was more than I could bear.
“I’m going to get some fresh air,” I said after only a few minutes. “I don’t think I can take this.”
Janine, her body leaned back against a wall, was already half asleep. She mumbled a response I didn’t understand.
Outside again, I took the chance to find a quiet place to pray, opening up all my fears from the previous night, and thanking God for getting me through it. I brought to my mind as many faces as I could remember of the men I’d treated, and I prayed for their healing. And I laid my heart bare as I prayed for Henry. Then, as I closed my prayer, I thought of Matthew, so far across the ocean, away from all this suffering and anguish. I ached for him so much; it nearly overwhelmed me. And I couldn’t stop myself from sobbing. I wondered what he was doing at that moment. And I wished that somehow, I could tell him all that was in my heart.
Chapter Five
Matthew
December 9, 1941
I barely slept a wink the night after the attack on Clark Field and Stotsenburg. By nightfall, almost everyone had evacuated into the cover of the jungle. Seemed like there was more safety in numbers, so I joined up with the 200th Anti-aircraft unit to make camp. It was a restless night for all of us as we kept a watchful eye on the sky for parachutes.
At dawn, I decided to try to salvage what I could from our bungalow. I returned to its burned out shell, and was able to retrieve a blanket, my knapsack, and a few essentials. Amazingly, my Bible lay unharmed next to a pile of debris. I picked it up and thanked God for protecting me, sliding it into the knapsack for safekeeping.
Next I caught a ride over to Fort Stotsenburg to see about Henry. Along the way, I thought back on our conversation just before everything had gone haywire, wondering if somehow I’d misunderstood him. He was trying to tell me something about Ruby. My brain kept forming the words, “Ruby’s alive.” But that was impossible.
I tried not to worry over it on account of there being much more pressing issues, like surviving another attack, which would most certainly come. Maybe Henry’d be awake, and he could explain what he’d been trying to say. Then I could make sense of it all and put it behind me.
When I arrived at Fort Stotsenburg, it was still smoldering. The small hospital had spilled out onto the grounds, and the nurses and doctors moved around the tents in a daze. Most of them were covered in blood. I stopped a young nurse as she passed me and asked if she knew where I could find Henry Graves.
She shook her head. “Sorry, fella. I don’t hardly know where I am, much less where someone else is.” She wiped her hand across her brow before pointing across the grounds. “There’s some doctors and nurses eating breakfast over in the mess hall. You can ask around there.”
I thanked her and headed in the direction she’d pointed. I quizzed the other doctors and nurses I passed along the way, but none of them were able to tell me where I could find Henry. I wandered through tent after tent, checking endless cots for a familiar face. Nothing. Then I headed through the rooms of the hospital. I was about to give up when I found him lying on a gurney in a room full of broken, decimated bodies.
Some moaned as they moved around. Others were as still as dea
th. When I reached Henry, his eyes were open, but he didn’t seem to see me. I leaned over him and laid a hand on his arm. “Henry? You all right?”
Slowly he turned his head to me and a smile tugged at his lips. “Matthew. You made it. I didn’t see you for a while. Thought you might’ve drowned.”
Drowned?
“No, I’m all right,” I said. “I found you near your plane—”
“I can’t lie to you,” he said. “I found Ruby. I wasn’t gonna tell you, ’cause Ruby don’t want you getting into trouble with the law. And I thought it would be safer for her if nobody knew.”
“You’re not making any sense,” I said.
“You nearly died trying to save her. You deserve to know.” Henry winced. “My head hurts. And my leg is throbbing like crazy. Where is this place?”
“Henry, what’s the last thing you remember?” His eyes glazed over, and he stared at the ceiling. “Henry?”
After a heart-stopping moment where I thought he’d crashed, Henry blinked and brought his gaze back to me. “I don’t think I can go back down to the woods like this. You’ll have to get Ruby and get her out of town. She’s a little banged up, but I think she’ll be all right. We were going to take a train out to California. You two should go on, and I’ll meet you out there.”
I put my hand on his forehead. He was burning up with fever. I glanced around for a nurse or doctor. “Miss?” I called to a nurse who was checking a patient across the room. “Can you come take a look at my friend here?”
After she’d taken a few steps, she stopped and stared at me. “Matthew?”
My brain finally kicked in, and I realized it was Natalie. I straightened and came around Henry’s gurney to meet her. “Natalie, what are you doing here? I thought you were at Sternberg.”
“I was, but they sent me up here.” She hesitated before wrapping her arms around her waist. “I’m so glad you’re all right. I was so worried about you.”
“Yes, I’m fine. But would you mind taking a look at my friend here?”
She nodded and moved around me. “You know Henry?” she asked, glancing back at me over her shoulder as she checked his vitals.
“Yes,” I said. “We grew up together.”
She held his wrist in her hands, counting to herself, then placed it down and glanced at me with a puzzled look. “That’s funny, I thought he said he was from Georgia. But then again, I might not have paid much attention. He’s been dating another nurse at the hospital. That’s how I met him.” She leaned forward to tighten the covers around Henry, and placed the back of her hand to his forehead. “He’s got a fever.” She moved the blanket covering his legs, and I got a view of the damage as she looked over the wound. “Doc tried to save his leg, but it’s not looking good. Probably have to remove it later today if it’s getting infected.”
“He don’t seem right in the head,” I said. “He’s talking about things like he’s in the past.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, he’s talking about things that happened years ago as if they were happening right now.”
Natalie frowned and covered his leg again. “I’m no doctor, but he’s probably in shock. I think we all are, to be honest. I’m sure he’ll be all right.”
Henry moaned, so I stepped closer to him and leaned over him. “You need something?”
“You gotta find Ruby. She needs help.”
I glanced over him at Natalie. “See what I mean? Ruby’s been dead for five years.”
But before she could answer, the stomach-lurching sound of the air raid pierced the air, and Natalie’s face drained of all color. Her eyes shot open. “Oh no! They’ve come back!”
My heart thundered in my chest. Frantically, I searched for shelter, but there was none. An explosion sounded outside, followed by a tremor in the walls. Natalie screamed. Patients hollered all around us.
“Get me outta here!”
“It’s the Japs again!”
I grabbed Natalie by the hand and pulled her into the hallway, tucking her beneath me as we crouched against the walls. The explosions came over and over again. The walls shook, and dust filled the air. I coughed and sucked in dust. I could feel Natalie sobbing against my chest. I squeezed her tighter and did my best to keep her calm.
“It’s going to be all right,” I said between blasts. “We’re going to be fine.”
I had no idea if I was right. But at least this time I wasn’t out in the open.
Ruby
I had found my way to a quiet part of the grounds, away from the devastation and agony, when I heard the whine of the air raid siren. I’d just been in the middle of thanking God for His protection, when I realized I was nowhere near any foxholes or shelter. I looked up in time to see planes high above, approaching from the north in large V formations. And below them floated small strips of silver, glinting in the sun like confetti. My heart raced, and I ran for the empty swimming pool nearby. Just as I jumped into the deep end and slammed my body against the wall, an explosion rocked the ground beneath my feet. My screams were drowned out by the next explosion, and the next, and the next.
My head bounced off the side of the pool, and my throat stung. I could barely breathe. Lord, please help us! Protect Henry…the nurses, the doctors, the patients…Have mercy!
The bombing lasted several minutes, and then a painful silence came over everything. My ears rang, and I thought for a moment I might vomit. I dropped to all fours, heaving. Then I heard an ominous buzzing sound in the distance. Planes approached again, this time much closer to the ground than before. Dust flew up in the air as the rat-a-tat of bullets grazed the grounds. I pressed myself flat against the wall again just before they hit the empty pool, sending shards of concrete flying.
I screamed again, and continued to pray and call on Jesus’s name. I tried to control my panic, but it felt like my heart was going to burst right out of my chest. Finally, the strafing ended, and I collapsed onto the floor of the pool. I breathed in and out, in and out. I was still alive.
Climbing out of the pool on shaky legs, I ran toward the hospital, rounding the corner to another awful scene. The fires that had burned out in the night were blazing again. Smoke poured from vehicles, buildings, and tents, and the smell of burning rubber and metal filled the air. Men screamed for help from all directions as they writhed in pain.
I took a look at the hospital building, and it seemed to be unaffected. At least I knew Henry was safe. I ran for the tent closest to me, horrified by the number of bullet holes in it. Staff came in from all directions, and everyone set to work again as if the night before had never happened.
As I grabbed as much morphine as I could carry, I thought about Jonah from the Bible. He’d run away from God’s plan for him, and God had chased him down with a terrible storm on the sea, eventually sending a great fish to swallow him whole. I couldn’t help but wonder about my own running over the past five years. Was God chasing me down with a war? Were the Japanese a great fish that would eventually swallow me up?
Matthew
Once the bombing ceased, I sat down on the floor and pulled Natalie against my chest. She continued to sob, and I did the best I could to calm her. “It’s all right,” I whispered into her ear. “It’s over now. They’re gone.” I repeated myself over and over, until she finally quieted. But her body still shook as though she were freezing.
I held her against me another minute, rubbing my hands along her arms to try to soothe her. The quivering subsided, and she wiped her tears from her face, smudging dirt across her cheeks. “Thank you,” she croaked. “I’m sorry. I’m such a wreck.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” I said, reaching up to wipe the dirt away. I held her cheek in my hand and smiled. “Nothing to worry about. I think we’re all terrified.” I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Why don’t we go check on the patients?”
She pushed herself up as I did, and we went back into the hospital room. Except for a few whimpering patients, all was fine. I c
hecked on Henry. He hadn’t moved an inch. Natalie checked the other patients until a doctor popped his head through the door and told us they needed all available hands outside. We ran through the hallway and into the chaos that awaited on the lawn.
Natalie gripped her stomach as a gurney went by with a bloodied body sprawled across it. “I don’t know if I can do this again,” she said.
“You can,” I answered. “Just do your best. That’s all anyone can ask.”
“Thanks,” she said, waving as another nurse motioned for her to follow. “I’ll find you when we get done.”
I waved in return, then jumped into service as I had the previous day—carting injured bodies to various tents, cleaning up debris, and putting out fires. My body ached with exhaustion, and my stomach cramped with hunger. I did what I could to move from one job to the next so I wouldn’t think about it, and sometime late in the afternoon, I was finally told I could rest.
I wandered toward the tent I believed to be the mess hall, and gobbled the plate of food being offered, not even registering what it even was. I dropped my head onto the table for a moment, just to feel my eyes close. A moment later a hand rested on my back, jolting me awake. I shot up, causing Natalie to yelp beside me.
“Matthew! Sheesh!” she said.
My heart pounded against my chest. Where was I? Reality flooded back in like a terrible wave. I took a few deep breaths to get control of myself. “Sorry about that. I must’ve dozed off.”
“I can’t blame you,” Natalie said, turning to her plate. “I’m not sure I’m actually alive right now.” She picked at her food.
My stomach growled watching her. “You need to eat all that,” I said. “You never know when the food might get scarce.”
She pushed the plate in front of me. “Take it. I can’t. I think I’m going to be sick.”
“You need some fresh air,” I said, wrapping an arm around her waist and lifting her up. “Come on. Let’s walk for a bit.”
She moved beside me out of the tent and across the lawn toward the nurses’ quarters. “Would probably do you some good to wash up.” I said. “You’ll feel loads better.”
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