“Can we talk?”
Her eyes darted around the tent. “I suppose.”
I strode out of the tent and headed for the parade ground again. But she called out from some ways behind me. I stopped and turned around.
“Um, do you mind if we talk over here?” She gestured toward a small utility building behind the hospital. I shrugged and followed her lead.
Once inside, she closed the door, and the heavy, damp air grew twenty degrees hotter. “Why don’t we leave the door open? It’s like an oven in here.” Not only that, I could barely see her with the little light provided by the sole window to my right.
She pushed the door slightly ajar. “Any better?”
“Not much.”
“I’m sorry. I just thought we might need some privacy.”
I leaned back onto a table, folding my arms across my chest. In the light streaming through the cracked door, I could see she was filthy and exhausted. Memories of the girl I’d known many years before, who’d picked cotton till her fingers bled just so her family wouldn’t starve, flooded my mind and a pang of regret shot through me. Hadn’t I started us on this path of mistrust all those years ago? I’d turned my back on her, and then she’d done the same to me. Did that make us even somehow? I needed to understand everything that had happened, but I had no idea where to begin.
“How’s Henry?” I asked, figuring it was the easiest place to start.
“He’s not improving much, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any worse,” she said. “The doctor’s making plans to send him to Manila for more surgery. The infection’s the first priority though. He’s in pretty awful pain. I’ll probably go back to Manila with him and the other patients.”
“How soon?”
“Couple of days.”
She was so matter-of-fact, so unemotional in her answers, that I was beginning to think she hadn’t wanted to see me again. Maybe it was best to leave well enough alone. I’d ask what I needed to know, and finally close the door on that part of my life for good.
“So, I understand you and Natalie Williams are seeing each other,” she said, breaking into my thoughts.
“What? Who told you that?”
She didn’t answer. Just pushed the door open for a moment, glanced out, and then let it swing back to slightly ajar.
“Look, can we just speak frankly here? I really need some answers. The whole truth. Not that thing you do where you stop talking and just wait for me to move on.”
“All right.” She said it as though it were so easy.
“You’ve been with Henry all this time? Every time he wrote me? From Texas? From New Mexico? San Francisco?” She nodded after I named each city. “Why didn’t you let me know you were all right?”
She sighed and gripped her hands together. “We both wanted to tell you. But every time he wrote it down, he said it made him nervous. Like he was handing over the evidence against me. He couldn’t bring himself to send it, so he’d tear it up, swearing that next time he’d explain everything. Then once you joined the army, he definitely didn’t want to send it. He figured with everything going on in the world, the army would be reading your letters. It just…went on like that for years. And then you stopped writing altogether. I told myself you’d moved on, and you had a life of your own. And that it would be cruel to…to…”
“Tell me the truth?” She met my gaze with such despondency; I almost lost my willpower right there. But I shored up my defenses quickly. “Was it because you didn’t love me? Or was it because you were angry at me?”
She shook her head. “No. Nothing like that.”
“Then what? ’Cause none of this makes a lick of sense, Ruby.”
“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” A small tear eased its way out of the corner of her eye and rolled slowly down her cheek. “What I did was unforgivable. I don’t blame you for hating me.”
Hating her? I knew I could never hate her, but what I felt was so mixed up inside me, I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. “Look,” I said. “None of that matters right now. I mean, it does, but it don’t. You know?” I gestured toward the chaos beyond the door. “I mean, we’re trapped on an island in the middle of a war zone. Our problems are minuscule compared to the families of those men who died the past few days. Or the soldiers who can’t walk anymore. Their lives are turned upside down.”
“You’re right,” she said. “We have to stay focused on our jobs.”
I pushed away from the table and straightened. “Good. Then it’s settled. No more talk of the past. You do your job, and I’ll do mine. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
Ruby
December 12, 1941
I made it my goal to think only about the things I could control. I could get a man more morphine to dull his pain. I could hand a doctor a scalpel or check sutures for signs of infection. I could wrap a blanket around a shivering body in shock. I could sit next to Henry, clean his wounds, and try to lift his spirits. Those tasks became lifelines for me. Because when I stopped, when I allowed myself to drift into thoughts of what might lie ahead, fear slid into my heart and mind like a snake, whispering that I’d brought all this on myself.
Seeing Matthew again and aching to be in his arms had reminded me of all I’d left behind. The hole I’d tried so hard to fill had been exposed, and all I knew to do was to work desperately to fill it in again. So even though I was so tired I could hardly stand without getting light-headed, I threw myself into my duties. When my shift was over, I grabbed a bite to eat and offered to cover for another nurse who seemed to need a break. And as it happened, Natalie seemed more than willing to take me up on the offer.
In the early morning hours before my shift started the next day, I went to check on Henry’s progress. Janine and I alternated sitting with him through the night if he was in pain, sleeping in a chair beside his bed. It did my heart a world of good to know she was caring for him with just as much dedication as I was.
That morning I walked into the hospital room to find Janine resting her head on the bed next to Henry’s leg. She held his hand in hers, and she appeared to be sound asleep. I walked over to her and gently rubbed her back until she stirred.
“Morning,” I said. “You look wiped out. Is everything all right?”
“He had a bad night,” she said. “He hollered out several times like he was having nightmares. Then his leg went to hurting so bad I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t know if he was reliving the injury in his nightmare, or if he was actually in pain.” She leaned back in the chair and rubbed her eyes. “Once I held his hand and started talking real easy to him, he settled down and went back to sleep.”
I lifted the blanket and looked over his bandages. The infection appeared to be fading, but he was still struggling with pain. I covered the leg and turned to Janine. “Dr. Henderson says they’re transferring patients to Sternberg tomorrow that need more surgery. I asked if I could go with them.”
“I suppose that’s a good thing,” she said. “But I can’t help but wonder what’s going to happen to all of us.”
“I’m sure there are ships and planes on the way here as we speak. We’ll get this turned around in no time.”
“I sure hope so. The bombs, day after day—they wear on my sanity. I keep waiting for one to fall right on me.”
I could see her eyes welling up. This was precisely the kind of thinking I had been working so hard to avoid. So I did what I could to change the subject. “I want to thank you for taking such good care of Henry. I had no idea he meant so much to you.”
Her cheeks warmed, and she turned a fond gaze on his sleeping face. “I can’t seem to help myself. I mean, I know he’s gone out with a lot of girls, and he probably doesn’t feel the same way about me, but there’s just something about his spirit that calls to me.”
“I know what you mean,” I said. “Seems like all my best childhood memories are wrapped up in something to do with Henry. He always knew how to make me laugh whe
never I got into trouble, which was quite often. But he also knew when to take my hand and tell me everything was going to be all right.” I couldn’t help but think back on the day of Daddy’s funeral, when I’d felt like the earth might swallow me whole. Or the day we’d packed our things to leave the only home I’d ever known, and we’d played in the creek all afternoon. He’d held me together.
“Grace?” Janine said. “Henry’s been saying things. Things that don’t always make sense.”
My stomach knotted. “Like what?”
“Well, he’ll ask for Ruby sometimes. Or maybe Rubes? I’m not too sure. But…is he talking about you?”
Lying had always made me sick to my stomach. I hated it. I looked down at Henry and tried to figure out what he might say, resolving myself to yet another lie. “My name is Ruby. Grace is my middle name. People back home call me Ruby, but not since we left.” I figured that was better than admitting I’d just picked out Grace as an alias on a whim.
She looked up at me with a curious expression. “Are you two really cousins?”
“No.” I sighed, afraid my secret would spill out around me like the milk from a shattered jar. Messy, and rotten. “He’s my brother.”
“Then why—”
“Listen, there’s a whole long story there that isn’t all that interesting. I don’t think now’s the time to get into it.”
“Hey, everyone has a past. Some aren’t so pleasant. If you don’t want to tell me, then I understand.” She didn’t look like she was buying it, but thankfully she didn’t press the matter. “What about that fella I saw you talking to the other day? It looked like a pretty intense conversation.”
I shook my head and pushed down the ache rising in my throat. “That’s another long story.”
“Sounds like you have some interesting stories to tell,” she said, lifting a curious eyebrow.
“You have no idea.”
Matthew
Major Hart called another meeting and informed us that Germany had now declared war on the United States. That seemed to energize most of the guys. I reckoned they hoped to get their chance to take on the Nazis, but Doug and I both realized this was bad news.
“If we get pulled into conflict with Europe, then there won’t be any reinforcements to send here,” I said in a low voice.
Doug leaned onto his elbows and shook his head. “Surely there’s already some help coming this way.”
“Not if they get rerouted.”
“So we’re sitting ducks.”
Major Hart dismissed the meeting and everyone filed out except Doug and me. I’d already completed my assignment for the day, so I approached Major Hart as he perched on the edge of a desk and asked for a few extra hours leave to head over to Fort Stotsenburg.
“I don’t see why it would be a problem, Lieutenant,” he said.
Doug snickered from behind me. “He just wants to get in some alone time with his girl while he still can.”
Major Hart lifted an amused eyebrow. “Is that so?”
“Actually, sir, I need to see if I can find a safe place for a woman I’m concerned about. I’ve heard some Filipino workers say their families are heading up into the mountains to wait out the war.”
“She local?” Major Hart asked.
“No, American. But not military personnel.”
“You know, the army allows officers to send their wives home,” Major Hart said, lowering his chin and eyeing me. “But that assumes you want to marry her. And that there’s transportation off the islands.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. “Thank you for the advice, sir.”
Major Hart nodded once and went around to the other side of his desk, where he pulled out a drawer and dug out a set of keys. “Here,” he said, tossing them at me. “Take my car. And good luck.” Then he winked at me. “Take your time. Might be the last chance you have for some female company for a very long while.”
I ignored the mischievous look from Doug and wasted no time getting over to the hospital. I was banking on Ruby getting a break soon, and if not, that someone might cover for her while we took a drive. I found her sitting outside a tent, nursing a small cup of water. She looked especially tired.
“Afternoon, Ru—Grace,” I said. I still couldn’t get used to calling her that. “I was wondering if I could get you to take a ride with me?”
Her hand shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked up at me. “I can’t. I have to get back to my shift in a few minutes.”
“Can someone cover for you?”
“Everyone else is just as overworked as I am. I can’t ask them to give up their rest for me.”
I was certain she regularly gave up her own rest for others, but just as I was getting ready to argue the point, another nurse approached us with a curious smile on her face. “Hi there,” she said. “Who might you be?”
Ruby jumped up from the overturned bucket where she was seated. “Listen, I can’t go anywhere right now. Please excuse me.”
The girl smiled and grabbed Ruby’s arm. “Sure you can.” Then she looked back at me. “Lord knows she needs a real break.”
“You think someone would cover for her for a while?” I asked.
“Sure! Any of the girls would be happy to do it. She’s generous enough with her help. You two run along, and I’ll see to getting her covered.”
“Janine—” Ruby protested.
I took her elbow and didn’t let her finish. “No arguing. This is important.”
She pressed her lips together, looking over my shoulder at Janine. I tugged her away before she could mount any further objections. When we reached Major Hart’s blue Plymouth convertible, Ruby stopped in her tracks.
“Wait, is this yours?” she asked.
“No, just on loan. Come on, get in.”
“Where are we going?”
I climbed behind the wheel. She stood by the passenger door like she didn’t quite trust me. “Don’t worry. I’m not kidnapping you or anything. We’ll be back in a few hours.” The thought flashed through my mind that the last time I’d driven her anywhere, we’d ended up crashing into a river, and nearly drowning at the bottom of a freezing spring. I supposed her hesitation was warranted.
She pulled open the door and climbed inside. I turned the key, and the engine roared to life. I relished the strength under the hood for a moment. I was going to have to get me a convertible when I got back to the States.
Dust trailed along behind us as I drove down a winding road that led into the mountainous jungle. I stopped once we’d reached a secluded area where I was sure we wouldn’t run into any other people. Then I turned off the engine and prepared to do battle.
“So what’s this all about?” she asked, the engine having barely stopped.
“I want you to let me make some arrangements.”
“What kind of arrangements?”
I pointed toward the mountains. “Some of the Filipinos I work with are heading into the mountains to wait out the war. They’re good people. They’d keep you safe.”
She shook her head before I’d even finished. “I can’t leave Henry.”
“Ruby, you’re not trained for war.”
“Who is? This isn’t something any of us are really ready for. But I’ve kept up just as well as anyone else. And I won’t leave Henry.”
I hadn’t actually believed I’d convince her, but at least I had tried. So now, it was on to Plan B. I released the wheel and reached under the seat beneath me. “I figured you’d say that.” I pulled out a sock, and then pulled out the pistol I’d stuffed inside it. “I want you to take this.”
Her eyes widened. “What? No—”
“Yes, Ruby. Just listen to me. You have to be able to protect yourself.”
“But I’ve never even shot a gun!”
“That’s why I brought you out here. I’ll teach you. It ain’t too hard. Just aim and squeeze.”
She shook her head. “No, no, no. I help people. I help them recover from bullet holes. I do
n’t put bullet holes in them.”
I took a deep breath and set the gun on the dashboard, trying another approach. “Can’t you please just listen to me for once? You’re leaving with Henry to go back to Manila tomorrow. I’m sure we’ll be evacuated soon, too. I won’t be able to protect you. I need to know you’ll be all right. I need to be able to do my job without worrying about you.” Her eyes softened, making my heart thump to life. “Ruby, if the Japanese invade, they’ll head for Manila. And they don’t have one ounce of mercy. You know what they do to women, don’t you?”
The mere suggestion of the Japanese soldiers’ brutality made the blood drain from her face. “They don’t call it the Rape of Nanking for nothing.” I’d once seen the pictures in the newspaper and read the report of the thousands of innocent women and children who were tortured and killed.
“I know about it,” she said quietly.
“Then you know why I have to do this. I can’t even think of anything like that happening to you.” I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. “I’ve been praying about things a lot the past couple of days. It’s been real easy to put all the blame for my pain on you, but the truth is: I failed you after the trial. I couldn’t understand what you were trying to tell me about trusting God, about stepping out of the boat and going to Jesus despite the storm around you. I almost lost my faith completely. But I think I understand things better now. And I’m not trying to force something that isn’t God’s plan. So just give me this one thing. Let me teach you how to shoot.”
She nodded. “All right. I’ll do it.”
Victory.
***
I didn’t have any targets with me, so I had to improvise. I dug around until I found a couple of shirts in the Major’s trunk. I bundled up a bunch of palm leaves and tied the shirts around them. Then I waved at Ruby as she leaned on the car. “Come on over here.”
I set up the targets on the side of a slope and started her out about ten yards away. I showed her how to grip the pistol in both hands, how to line up the sight on the end. Then I stepped around behind her. “Now, hold it out in front of you with your arms straight. Good. Now, when you fire the gun, don’t try to anticipate the recoil.”
Saving Grace: A Novel (Healing Ruby Book 3) Page 9