As we walked downstairs, Mama’s words about why Daddy chose Marcie stuck like a sharp stick in my mind. I had never considered that my father did anything without the purest of motives, to serve God. Now my own mother had said differently. I wished she had never said those words and even less that I had listened to them.
The rest of the day the house was filled with the sister wives’ chattering and speculation about Marcie Barton. My mother kept silent. I was relieved when Sister Cora asked me to run an errand to the Pineridge store to pick up some tar soap for Sister Emily’s eczema. I would pass Brenda Norton’s house on the way, and if I hurried, I would have time to drop by and ask her about BYU while helping her set up her sewing machine.
When I arrived, she looked even more unhappy than she had the last time I was there. She invited me in but I could see she was all out of sorts. When I took her sewing machine out and started to thread the bobbin, she wanted to take notes, but she was so distracted that she kept looking for a pencil and didn’t realize she had one tucked behind her ear! I got the bobbin in and the foot in place, then I started on some simple straight stitches so she could see how to make them, but when she tried the threads got all tangled up and then she stood up suddenly, pushing the fabric away.
“I can’t do this, it’s useless!” she cried.
“Don’t worry. It’s not easy at first but you’ll get the hang of it,” I reassured her.
“It’s not just this sewing, it’s everything, Alva. Jack came home yesterday and said that the prophet has decided it’s time for him to take a second wife!” From the look on her face, Brenda didn’t think this was good news, even if it meant that she would be exalted. I remembered what Sister Cora had said, that people who have lived outside plural marriage struggle with it. Even my mother, who comes from four generations of polygamy, was all upset over Marcie Barton joining the family.
“That’s good, Brenda. He needs only one more to get into the celestial kingdom in the afterlife.”
“One more?” She looked horrified.
“Three wives is the minimum required for a godly man to be exalted and lead you to salvation as well.”
Brenda began to pace and wring her hands. When she spoke it was as if she was talking to herself as much as she was talking to me. “I asked him to wait. He told me before we came here that we’d have a long time to settle in before we moved into plural marriage, that I’d be able to adjust. But now he says that the prophet has decided and we must accept his revelation. And that if I can’t make this adjustment with a whole and happy heart, that I can go back to my parents in Salt Lake as a divorced woman!”
With that she sat on the edge of the sofa and burst into tears. It was the second time in one day I had seen a woman crying over The Principle. I could imagine how hard it must be for her, how alone she must have felt in Pineridge with no friends, unable to do the things that all women do. Brenda’s hand shook as she reached out for mine.
“How do they do it, Alva? Your mother and the other sister wives? I know it is normal for all of you who have been born into it, but the idea of having another wife living under our roof is so hard for me.”
I thought of Mama, lying across the bed at home, crying over Marcie Barton. “It’s not all sponge cake and sweet cream,” I said, and that made her smile. “My mother is struggling mightily with the idea of a new sister wife joining our family next week.”
“Your father is taking another wife?”
“Marcie Barton. She’s my age.”
Brenda’s eyes widened in surprise. “And how old is that?”
“Fifteen. I’m still fourteen but I’ll be fifteen in a few months.”
“What about the age of consent?”
I had no idea what she was talking about. “Whatever that is, we don’t have it here.”
“Of course you do, Alva. The age of consent is the legal age at which a person can marry. It’s eighteen in most states and it’s the law, even here in Utah.”
“But how can the law decide when you can or can’t marry?” I asked.
“It’s designed to protect young people, especially girls, from being pushed or forced into marriage before they are mature enough to make up their own minds.”
I’d never heard of such a thing and I knew Brenda must be wrong. I had known so many girls my age and even younger who had married. There was no way we had that law in Pineridge and I said so. But Brenda shook her head.
“It’s the law of the state, Alva. Pineridge is in Utah so the law applies here as well.”
Now I knew why we lived by God’s law rather than the laws of the state. Imagine if the state said I couldn’t marry Joseph John until I was eighteen? He’d be long gone at college by then with a Gentile wife and a whole flock of children.
“Law or no law, she’s being sealed to my father next Wednesday. And my mama was crying over it just like you are. But it will pass and then you’ll get used to it. Everyone does.”
“But how?” she asked.
“Because we have to” was the only answer I could think of.
Plural marriage wasn’t a choice, it was a scriptural requirement. We all did it, as I would with Joseph John.
Brenda sighed. “You know, Alva, this is my fault. If I had been able to have children, Jack never would have fallen in with the fundamentalists back home. He started going to their meetings because he was so upset that we couldn’t have a family. And that’s when the idea of plural marriage took hold in his mind. And you know what my parents did when they found out that we were moving here, that Jack had signed over our condominium and bank accounts to the Brotherhood? My good, faithful Mormon parents?”
I shook my head.
“They gave me the name of a divorce lawyer! But I married until death do us part, Alva. And I have to make this work even if I can’t see how to do it right now.”
I patted her hand. “Don’t worry, Brenda, you’ll find your way. And who knows? Maybe God will reward your faithfulness with a baby of your own!”
Her eyes got all teary again. “You’ll come by to visit me from time to time, won’t you, Alva? I do enjoy your company. Now tell me something good, something happy about you. Do you have a sweetheart? A boy you have a special feeling for?”
It was as if Brenda had reached right into my mind and pulled out my very thoughts at that moment. She had that way about her, of asking questions and saying things that made me think about my own feelings, my own life. I hadn’t told anyone about Joseph John and our plans to marry, but now the words just spilled out of me, like the bag of alphabet letters that Mama puts into the vegetable soup.
“His name is Joseph John Hilliard and he’s talking to his father this week to get permission to go to the prophet. We hope to marry before he goes to BYU in the fall. There are so many questions that I have to ask you about Provo and the university.… ”
Before I could get any further, we heard the front door open. Jack Norton stepped into the house, and when he saw me, his face lit up in a big crocodile smile. “Alva Jane, how nice of you to come by!”
I stood to go. I didn’t want to be around Jack Norton, especially now that the prophet had decided it was time for him to take another wife. The last thing I wanted was for him to set his sights on me. “I was just leaving, Mr. Norton. Brenda is making good progress with her sewing.”
Brenda winked at me and Jack smiled even more. “That’s terrific! I hope you can come by regularly to help her. I knew it would just be a matter of time before she fit in.”
I thought of how he had told Brenda she could go back home divorced if she didn’t go along with plural marriage. And I knew suddenly that he didn’t really love her. If he did, he would have been gentler with her, coming from the outside and all. He would have helped her understand that she needed plural marriage for her own salvation rather than threatening her with a shameful divorce in the eyes of God and man. I tried to imagine Joseph John treating me that way and I couldn’t, for which I was thankful.
/> I headed out the door, feeling more confused than ever. I knew that we were God’s chosen people and that keeping the covenant of plural marriage was the foundation of our lives, but after seeing my mother and Brenda so upset, I was beginning to see that The Principle may light the way to salvation, but it casts a long shadow as well. Until now, I had known that there were tensions within the family over Daddy’s affections, but I had never seen the kind of despair that Brenda and my mother were suffering. Maybe it was always there and I had been too young to notice it. But now that my own marriage was close at hand, it worried me.
I arrived at the Pineridge store for the tar soap just as Joseph John came around the corner onto Main Street, returning from public school. He had his backpack slung over one shoulder, his nose buried in a book, and he looked like he’d grown another inch in the last week. He looked up to see me heading into the store and followed me in. The store was half-full and we moved carefully down the rows of merchandise, maneuvering for a meeting spot where no one would pay much attention.
With the soap in hand, I stopped in front of the hair elastics, looking for a little something to take to Ann Marie Barton. Joseph John wandered over. He stopped beside me and whispered, “Alva Jane, meet me behind the barn before dark. I have something to tell you.”
I searched his face for some sign of what the news might be and I could see by the way his eyes smiled at me, it was good. Good news! Which meant he had spoken to his father and Mr. Hilliard had agreed to our marriage. I knew that once we had the prophet’s approval, everything would get better. I would no longer be just a daughter caught in the troubles and tensions among my parents and the other sister wives. I would be a first wife, making my own home, my own family.
I touched my hand against his as a sign of consent and then turned to run smack-dab into Wendy Callers, who had come sneaking up behind us, pretending to look for a hairbrush. Had she overheard Joseph John? Had she seen my hand on his? If so, she gave no sign. She nodded politely and said, “Good day, Alva,” and moved on. I didn’t give her a second thought. All I had room for in my heart and my mind was the knowledge that I was just a few steps away from beginning my real life, doing my duty before God and to my husband.
CHAPTER NINE
THE SUN WAS BEGINNING TO SINK LIKE A YELLOW
ball of fire in the sky. Through the open window of the kitchen I felt the chill that crept over the desert as evening approached. I opened a can of my mother’s sweet onions and emptied them into the pot on the stove. My sisters were setting the table and bringing in the clean wash from the line. I needed to find a way to get out of the house to meet Joseph John at the barn.
“Mama, I’m thinking some mustard greens would be good with dinner tonight,” I suggested.
“We have canned onions and peas, that’s enough.”
“I think something fresh would be good, that’s all,” I pushed.
“Well, if you really want them, go on and get them. I don’t know where the others are. If they don’t come back soon I’ll have to call those girls out back and have them eat here in the main house so as not to waste anything.”
Mama was annoyed. Sister Cora and Sister Emily must have gone to visit Rita Mae and the new baby. They were always back well before sundown to begin the evening meal, but today they must have lingered.
“I’ll be right back, Mama,” I said, running out the door.
I raced toward the livestock barn where the community’s horses and cows were kept. It was just a ways outside of the center of town. Sundown was rapidly approaching, the sky shifting color to the purplish hue of twilight that made the desert look as if the hand of God Himself had painted it. The red rocks surrounding Pineridge were slowly turning into shadows. I looked over my shoulder as I drew near to the barn, making sure there was no one to see me.
I knew it was wrong to meet Joseph John alone like this, but I was so close to seeing my dream fulfilled, I just had to find out what his news was. I slipped around the side of the barn and there he was, pacing in front of the boxed doors that led into the interior. His face lit up when he saw me.
“I’m so glad you came, Alva. I have been wanting to get word to you all week. My father agreed that my dream was a revelation from God, and he’s going to speak to your father and the prophet this evening about us getting married!”
These were the words I had been waiting to hear for as long as I could remember! After years of thinking on it, dreaming of it, the time had finally come. We were going to be married! In my excitement I leaned forward into Joseph John’s arms. As my lips brushed against his, I suddenly felt a strong hand grip my collar, yanking me backward. I lost my footing and flailed, regaining it just in time to come face to face with the blazing blue eyes of Sister Cora.
My heart froze; I couldn’t find any words to say. How did she know I was here? Wendy Callers must have heard and told her, there was no other explanation. Now I knew why Sister Cora wasn’t at home helping Mama in the kitchen. She had been waiting to catch me here with Joseph John. Sister Emily stood behind her, her skinny arms crossed over her chest.
“A deceitful and wayward girl brings the greatest shame to her family’s name, in the eyes of the Lord and the prophet,” Sister Cora said, twisting my arm behind my back and giving me a firm shove toward home.
“It’s not like you think, Sister Cora,” I tried to explain, but she silenced me with a stinging slap to my face.
“You do not talk until you’ve been given permission.”
Sister Cora kept a tight grip on me and Sister Emily followed behind Joseph John, who walked with his head hung low. Neither of us was allowed to explain what we were doing behind the barn alone, in violation of all the rules. My cheek still felt the sting where Sister Cora had slapped me and I heard her whispering as we walked, calling me a slew of filthy names and insults. My eyes burned with tears of shame but I dared not cry out loud.
Why had I been so stupid and reckless to agree to meet Joseph John alone? Why hadn’t I waited for a better, safer moment? I had no idea what would happen now. I could only pray that my parents would understand. They had known Joseph John all his life and they knew that I was a good, obedient girl. Once we got home, we would contact Mr. Hilliard and the whole thing would be worked out. It had to be worked out.
We walked in the door to find Daddy seated at the kitchen table with Mama, Sister Susannah, and the children. They looked up in shock to see us in such a state: Sister Cora gripping my arm, Joseph John with his eyes downcast in guilt. I saw their minds race to the worst possible conclusion. The look on Mama’s face chilled me to the core; she believed the worst.
“Oh, Mama, it’s not what you think at all—,” I began, my voice trembling with tears.
Sister Cora cut me off. “I caught these two behind the livestock barn, Eldon Ray. Alva Jane was kissing this boy, kissing him full on the lips! They made a secret plan to meet earlier today and luckily I heard about it in time to prevent any further damage to our family name by this stupid child!”
Daddy’s face lost all its color and he gripped the sides of the kitchen table, his knuckles white.
“If I may, Mr. Merrill, I want to explain,” Joseph John spoke up, his tone respectful, cautious. “I have no ill intentions with Alva Jane, I had a dream, a revelation that we are to be married and I spoke to my father about it this week. He is coming to speak to you this evening.”
He got no further before my father rose, his full stature filling the room. “You had a revelation, young man? And based on that, you thought that you could choose who to marry, that you made that decision? Are you the prophet? Are you the divine revelator in this community? If we can all count on your revelations, what do we need Kenton Barton for?”
“I meant no disrespect to the prophet, Mr. Merrill, it’s just that Alva and I have known each other all our lives. She’s done nothing to be ashamed of.”
Despite my fear, I felt such a rush of pride in Joseph John, speaking up for me and in the f
ace of my powerful father, no less!
“And I’m to take your word for that, I suppose? I’m supposed to believe that you with your masculine needs and desires were content just to be near my virtuous daughter?” Daddy’s cruel, mocking tone cut straight into my heart. He thought ill of me and I could not bear it.
“Daddy, I’ve done nothing—,” I began, but my father silenced me with a cold stare.
“Is Sister Cora lying then, Alva Jane? You weren’t out at the livestock barn with this boy? She didn’t see you kiss him on the mouth?”
I couldn’t deny those things had happened, but not the way Daddy made them sound. “No, sir. Sister Cora isn’t lying, it’s just not the way it seems.… ”
My father stopped me, holding up a hand. “You’ve admitted your guilt, Alva, and there is nothing more for you to say. You’re to be punished, you’re to feel the pain of the rod so you do not bring shame to this family again!”
Sister Emily moved to the phone. “I’m calling the boy’s father, to have him come and pick him up.”
But Daddy took the phone from her. “Not yet, Emily. Aaron Hilliard knew perfectly well that his son had these designs on my daughter and he did not come to me first. I’ll handle this boy.”
I saw Joseph John brace himself for a beating but Daddy just grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and dialed the phone. Given his size and strength, he held Joseph John immobile with no effort at all.
“Tom?” he said when someone picked up the other end of the line. “This is Eldon Ray. I’ve had some trouble with one of these boys and my daughter, Alva Jane.… Aaron Hilliard’s boy, Joseph John … I’m taking them out to the livestock barn. Meet me there with anyone else you can round up.”
He hung up the phone and motioned for my mother. “Take her out to the car and wait with her.”
Mama grabbed my wrist and moved me to the door while Daddy shoved Joseph John ahead of him. Outside night had fallen and the four of us walked silently out to the Impala.
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