Wyne and Chocolate (Citizen Soldier Series Book 2)

by Michaels, Donna

  Doing her best not to run, she walked over to him and smiled. “Mason, I’ve looked everywhere for you.”

  He glanced up, eyes glossy and…cold.

  “You found me.” He held up a half-empty bottle of whiskey in a salute before putting it to his mouth for a drink.

  “You’re drunk,” she said inanely. Why was he drinking? “What’s wrong?”

  “Wrong? What could be fucking wrong?” He let out a harsh laugh and took another swig. “Did you enjoy your rendezvous with your guy?” He shot to his feet, and moved away a little unsteady. “Don’t bother to deny it, Jill. I saw you kissing him in your shop.”

  Really? Was fate so cruel to send him to her at that horrible, awful moment?

  She took a step toward him, wanting desperately to reach him, but he moved back, grabbing the back of a chair for support.

  “It wasn’t what you think,” she said. “I can explain.”

  He snorted. “Don’t bother. I heard that one before…Renee,” he sneered, looking at her like she was someone he detested. “What I’d like to know is if you torched your own damn place so I would offer you space here? Huh? You took advantage of me and my family, Jill.”

  “No.” She shook her head and leaned forward to place her hand on his shoulder. “Please, Mason, just listen to me.”

  “I don’t want to hear it.” He brushed her hand away.

  Her throat closed up. So tight she couldn’t talk. She stared up at him, silently pleading, searching for a softening in him, but found only contempt and anger. He’d seen her with Donny, whom he obviously hadn’t recognized, and immediately jumped to the conclusion she’d cheated on him and had been stringing him along all this time so she could set up shop in his resort.

  God, how could he think that?

  She didn’t know what hurt worse, the fact he thought so low of her, or the fact he’d never really bothered to look into her heart, the one she’d opened up and bared for him, because if he had, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. He would’ve seen through what was happening in her store and maybe helped her stop Donny.

  But thanks to the scars Renee had left behind, he’d already made up his mind about her. Already labeled her a liar and a cheat. Would never trust her, and God, trust was so important. She’d trusted him. And that had been her mistake, because now…now came the part she’d always knew would arrive.

  He was leaving. Abandoning her.

  His jaw tightened. “You’re not even going to deny it?”

  “Why bother?” Another tremor escaped the tight hold she had on her emotions. “You’ve already made your mind up about me.”

  Yeah…she could force him to sit and listen while she explained what happened with Donny, but like she told him, why bother? His mind was made up. He did not trust her. Would never trust her, and without that trust, there could be no relationship.

  He stared at her as if she was a stranger. “Don’t try to put this all on me. You’re the guilty one. You’re the one who cheated.”

  “No,” she said quietly. “I didn’t. But if that makes you feel better, gives you a justified reason to leave me, to walk away from our relationship—which you were going to anyway—then go ahead. Believe what you want, Mason.”

  “The hell with that, Jill.” He scowled, slamming his bottle on the table, causing the bartender to glance their way. “I told you, I don’t abandon. But I also don’t stick around when someone is playing me for a fool.”

  She shook her head slowly, numbness starting to set in. “You’re doing a good job of that all on your own.” She sank down onto the nearest chair, her mind barely registering his muttered curse and the fact he’d left the room.

  Left her. Just as she’d always feared.

  Expected.

  It could’ve been five minutes, could’ve been five hours, Jill had no idea how much time had passed before she roused herself and walked out of Timbers and straight out of the resort. She needed to be alone, had no desire to talk to anyone. Knew she could be tracked down if she hid in her office, or bought a room, so she started out on the five mile trek to her house.

  It wasn’t cold out. The temperature was in the fifties. It was still daylight, so she had a few hours before risking the possibility of being hit by car while walking down the wooded road. At this point, all she could think about was getting home and falling onto her bed where she could curl up and have a good cry. She needed one. Between her ordeal with Donny that morning, then Mason, she was running on pure adrenaline, and was just about empty.

  The warm sun on her face, cool breeze reminding her it was spring and the sound of birds chirping in the trees accompanied her two miles before a car approached from behind. Jill moved to the side of the road to let the vehicle pass, but it slowed next to her and the passenger window slid down.

  “Jill?” Gwen stared at her from behind the wheel of a beautiful Lexus. “What in the world are you doing out here? Get in.”

  She hesitated a moment. It was possible one of the Wynes could be in the next vehicle that drove by, and she was not ready to deal with questions. She opened the door and got in. “Thanks. My car’s…not here.”

  “Obviously,” Gwen remarked. “Where were you headed?”

  “Home.”

  The blonde reeled back. “Jesus, woman. That’s a few miles from here.”

  “I know.”

  Her friend studied her a moment, then gave a nod and put the car back in drive. “Men are jerks.”

  No argument from her.

  “You want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  Gwen nodded as if she understood. God, she hoped not. She hoped her friend had never gone through what she had the past few hours. Not something she would wish on anyone.

  “You want to share a pint of death by chocolate?” Gwen slid her a sideways glance. “I have one in the freezer at home.”

  She smiled, despite the tears dripping down her face. They’d fallen the past quarter mile. “Thanks, but no,” she replied, swiping at her wet cheek. “I can’t eat chocolate without thinking of…”

  Gwen grumbled a curse, and if Jill hadn’t been so miserable she would’ve found it funny to hear such language coming from the beauty.

  “Why is it if you’re born with a penis, you lack common sense? It’s either testosterone or brain cells. Unreal.”

  Jill did chuckle on that one because it was sometimes true. Although, not all men she knew had that issue. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “Miss me? Why? Are you talking about me going to Texas soon, or are you leaving?”

  She shrugged. “I heard back about my pitch.”

  “Oh my God. Your chocolate? What did they say?”

  “That they want to build a big factory. Ship bars and stuff to grocery stores and other outlets throughout the country, and want me to oversee production.”

  “Congratulations, Jill! That rocks.”

  Yeah. Saying it out loud sounded great. But, it didn’t feel great. She needed to make it feel great and was contemplating that when they pulled into her driveway.

  “Thanks for the ride,” she said, forcing a smile to her lips.

  Gwen touched her hand. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”

  “Yes.” She nodded. “I always am.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The next afternoon, Mason was stowing the canoe and oars he’d taken out at dawn, unhappy he’d returned without a cleared head. He’d paddled nearly the whole damn lake, but the exertion hadn’t kept his mind from drifting to Jill. And her face yesterday. The way it lit up when she’d spotted him at Timbers.

  Could someone fake that?

  God, he just didn’t know. She wore that expression toward him a lot. He’d never doubted it before, hell, he used to thrill at it, but after seeing her kissing another man…in the shop he’d helped finance—the shop he’d talked his brothers into investing in…

  He clenched his teeth and the cracking of his jaw echoed in the wind.
“Can’t fucking believe I let it happen again.” And this time, it wasn’t only affecting him; it was going to affect his family.

  “Let what happen?” Ethan asked from behind.

  Mason swung around and scowled. “Nothing.”

  “Are you talking about Jill? Surely you aren’t saying she cheated on you?”

  “Exactly what I’m saying.” He stomped out of the shed, walking anywhere his feet would go.

  “No way,” his brother said, falling into step alongside him.

  He opened his mouth to relieve some of the ache of betrayal burning his gut. “I saw her kissing the guy with my own eyes.”

  “Then you saw wrong.”

  Okay, not the support he’d been expecting.

  “I didn’t see wrong,” he insisted as they stopped near the gazebo his sister had had built for weddings, had in fact, got married in herself. A symbol of love and hope and pure emotions. The opposite of what he’d witnessed yesterday. “Jill stood in the middle of her damn shop and kissed the guy on the lips.”

  “Did you ask her about it?”

  Jesus, what was wrong with his brother? “No. I’m not a fucking masochist.”

  Ethan laughed.

  I’m dying and he’s laughing.

  “Mason, trust me, Jill loves you whole-heartedly,” the idiot insisted. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you. The way she lights up when you walk into the room. She would not cheat on you. Would you cheat on her?”

  “Fuck no.” He always gave what he wanted in return. Honesty. Loyalty. Trust.

  “Then same goes for her, because you wear the same lovesick expression when she’s near,” his brother said, cupping his shoulder. “Whatever reason she had for that kiss, trust me, it was a good one.”

  He stilled. Could his brother be right?

  Yes, you idiot, his mind insisted. In fact, it had insisted the same thing when he’d witnessed her in the act. But, he’d pushed the voice aside, chalking it up to wishful thinking.

  Now, he wasn’t so sure.

  “Look, I get that you’re jaded. Hell, I am, too,” Ethan said. “We have the right.”

  Mason understood. There had been rumors going around that his brother’s wife had been seeing another, but she’d died in a skiing accident while they were deployed, and for Tyler’s sake, his brother hadn’t bothered to find out the truth.

  The guy released him to shove his hands in his pockets. “Has Jill ever held anything back from you?”

  “Not that I know of.”

  His brother rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb. “You do know you…ah…tend to expect a lot. Utmost honesty. Which even a saint would fail.”

  He reeled back. “What the hell’s wrong with that?”

  “Nothing, except, sometimes you’re quick to judge.”

  Bullshit.

  “Jill has always been upfront. The first one to help people. Never judges. Anyone can see she is the real deal, and you are damn lucky to have her.”

  Well, hell. He blew out a breath. Confusion swallowing up his hurt and betrayal.

  Ethan was right. Jill was all those things. She gave Teresa a chance despite the woman’s lack of a high school diploma. Was good friends with Gwen and Lea, even though she more than likely knew the history between the two sisters and Ben. Had been a solid rock for him during Greg’s funeral.

  Christ. Had he jumped to the wrong conclusion? He didn’t see how. She’d kissed the guy on the lips. How could he mistake that? What the hell could be a “good reason” for something like that?

  His heart squeezed. Still…could he have made a mistake? He didn’t know. Hell, he’d cut her off when she’d tried to explain. Called her Renee. The image of how she’d flinched as if he’d hit her, and how the life had ebbed from her gaze flashed through his mind.

  He was starting to see clearly.

  Jill had wanted to tell him something yesterday, besides the fact he was an ass. She hadn’t been trying to make an excuse. He could see that now. Why the hell hadn’t he seen it yesterday? She’d needed him.

  And he’d pushed her aside and let her down…like the other men in her life.

  He closed his eyes and blew out a long breath. “I need to kick my own ass.”

  Sure, he could blame it on the alcohol he’d consumed, but he knew, even without the whiskey yesterday, he would’ve walked anyway. He’d been too hurt and confused and angry. Christ. After vowing not to abandon her, he’d done just that.

  “I’d be happy to kick it for you,” Ethan offered.

  Ignoring his brother, he pulled out his phone and dialed her number. Mason had no idea if she’d answer, hell, he didn’t deserve the chance to speak, but was going to try. Had to try.

  “Hello?” A familiar male voice answered Jill’s phone. “Mason, it’s me, Jeremy.”

  Jesus. His heart hit his knees. “Jeremy? What the fuck are you doing with Jill’s phone? Is she okay?”

  “She didn’t tell you?” his friend asked. His cop friend.

  It felt as if he was trying to drag air into his lungs through a blocked straw. Alarm stiffened his spine, and the same alarm darkened Ethan’s eyes.

  “Tell me what?”

  Suddenly he knew. Mason knew whatever the answer to that question was exactly what Jill had been trying to tell him. But like an idiot, he hadn’t listened. Now, he couldn’t breathe, and his mind reeled with horrible scenarios.

  “Look, man, I’m here at the resort. Meet me in the lobby,” his friend said, then hung up.

  Shit. He shoved the phone back in his pocket as he sprinted toward the resort with Ethan at his side. If anything had happened to Jill, he would never forgive himself.

  By the time they reached the lobby, he was out of breath and out of his mind with worry.

  “Whoa, Jesus, man, slow down,” Jeremy said, straightening from the reservation desk where he’d been chatting with one of the girls.

  The guy was in police uniform. That did not help Mason’s nerves. “Where’s Jill? Why do you have her phone?” he asked, getting right in the cop’s face. He was tired of asking and not getting answers.

  His friend stared at him a beat then stepped back. “Jill was fine when she left the police station yesterday to find you. I don’t know where she is now.”

  His chest was so tight and ached so bad he thought his heart had caved through his ribs. “Why was she at the station?”

  His friend grabbed his arm. “Let’s go to your security room and I’ll explain things there.”

  As daylight started to fade, Jill heard a vehicle screech to a halt in the driveway, and recognized the sound of the boots that clapped off the sidewalk and onto her porch.

  Mason.

  She knew it was him before he started to knock and call her name.

  “Jill, open up. I’m sorry. I was an ass. I am an ass. Okay, I’m always going to be an ass, but I am sorry.”

  His voice was weary and anxious and her heart ached for him despite being shattered into a million pieces.

  “Come on. I know you’re in there. Open up. Gwen told me she’d dropped you off. Yesterday.”

  He’d been looking for her? Tracked her down?

  Her heart must’ve ruled her feet because they took her to the door, but her mind apparently controlled her hands because they were shoved deep in her pockets and didn’t open the lock.

  “God, I’m so sorry, Jill. I should’ve let you talk yesterday. I should’ve listened.”

  She nodded, closing her eyes, sending tears down her face.

  “I don’t have an excuse, other than being in shock from having witnessed you kissing another guy. Blatantly in the middle of your shop. In the resort.”

  She sucked in a breath and opened her eyes. That had to have been so hard. She ached at the thought of the pain she’d caused him. Then her head reminded her heart that if he’d trusted her, or at least confronted her about it, he wouldn’t have been in pain.

  “Jeremy stopped by. They caught your ex with the money, you
r car, your phone. He said to drop by the station so he could return it all to you. And he said the asshole did have some kind of flammable fluid on him. God, I’m sorry, Jill. So damn sorry.”

  Relief wobbled through her knees, and she set her back against the door for support.

  Donny was caught. He could no longer hurt anyone. She was shaking, and silently crying, and so happy she no longer had to carry that worry around. It was probably what Jeremy had knocked on her door about a few hours ago. She hadn’t had the energy or desire to get off the bed.

  “Jill, please open up. Please, let me hold you. Let me see for myself you’re okay.”

  Twisting around, she set her cheek and palms against the door, wanting so bad to let him in, but she had let him into her heart already, and he still walked away.

  Who was to say he wouldn’t do it again?

  Did she believe he was sorry? Yes, with all her heart. Hell, she’d even already forgiven him a few hours ago as she was curled in a ball on top of her bed, not even answering Lea’s knocks. Or Ben’s. Or Gwen’s.

  It had been during this ‘down’ time that she’d also realized she could never trust him to trust her…so there was no point in opening the door.

  With that thought in her head, she turned away from the man still pouring his heart out to her on her porch, and walked straight into her bathroom. Unable to bear to hear him, she closed the bathroom door, stripped and got into the shower, then twisted the water on to drown it all out. Have another good cry. Okay, she hadn’t really stopped since arriving home yesterday. She hated being weak, acting weak, but her give-a-damn gene was AWOL at the moment. Her last breakdown had been a good twelve years ago. She was allowed one a decade. This was her overdue meltdown, and she planned to make it last the whole, damn weekend.

  She loved Mason. Forgave Mason. And knew he loved her, even though he’d never spoken the words. Neither had she. They were both gun-shy. Now it didn’t matter. The hard truth was, they had no future. Not without trust. Jill knew what she had to do tomorrow—call the New York company and accept their offer.