The Protector

by Dawn Marie Snyder

  A sense of relief washed over me as he said probably the most comforting words I had heard in the last few days. This had to mean I was going to get to go home. But a fresh wave of panic and questions came over me as I realized that would be the end of the road with Jack. Would I see him ever again? Mrs. Walker put a cup of coffee down in front of me and a piece of toast and brought me back to reality.

  “I want you to eat something Alison.” I watched as she put a bowl of oatmeal down in front of Jack. “Thank you,” we both managed to spit out in unison. This didn’t go unnoticed by Jack’s coworkers. Seth who had taken the seat next to Jack looked at me with a smug grin on his face.

  I took a sip of my coffee and looked down at the toast that had been set in front of me. Eating was the last thing I had on my mind and the thought of food made me nauseous. I wasn’t sure if it was the left over effects of the vodka or the nerves that had settled in the pit of my stomach.

  It was Conway who spoke first. “Alison, I need you to go through everything that happened before you left Albuquerque and when you got to Tel Aviv. Jack has filled me in about what happened when you were supposed to meet with Professor Hassan.”

  I looked at Jack confused. “You were there!” It was more of a statement than a question. I had thought I was completely insane thinking he was there. Why didn’t he stop the handoff when he knew it wasn’t Professor Hassan? Why did he even let the handoff take place? The questions raced through my mind as I realized that he could have stopped the whole thing. Anger began to well up inside of me. I watched Jack intently wanting an answer but I realized rather quickly I wasn’t going to get one.

  He shoveled a bite of oatmeal into his mouth to keep from having to say anything. I was pretty sure he could read the anger on my face.

  “How long have you been watching me?” I suddenly wanted to know details of his time in Tel Aviv. I laughed at my own naivety. Of course he had been watching me. I had seen him. I had run into him at the hotel yesterday and saw him at the plaza. And Seth, he was on the plane when I left Dulles and I had seen him everywhere in Tel Aviv. I figured after talking to Jack, he had kept an eye on me in Tel Aviv, but I hadn’t realized he had actually watched the hand off. I realized quickly that was pure stupidity on my part considering he had mentioned he always accompanied Tom from a distance on these types of trips.

  “Since you left Dulles,” Seth answered for Jack who was now sipping his coffee. I could feel the anger pulse through my veins as I began to grasp the magnitude of the situation.

  “You had your own special security detail young lady,” Conway added as if it was supposed to make me feel better. Instead it angered me all the more. I had gathered that this man, who towered over my small frame, was the head of the operation. But there was something about him I didn’t trust.

  “Then if you were all there, why didn’t you stop the guy I gave the processor to? You knew it wasn’t Hassan. Jack you admitted that. Why did you let me hand it off to the wrong person?” The anger grew more intense with each realization that this could have all been prevented.

  Finally Jack spoke, “Open market location could have caused more problems. Not to mention, I wasn’t the only one there who didn’t stop the handoff, the Israeli government had sent someone as well, your friend Joed. And I am pretty sure we weren’t the only ones.”

  “So you didn’t stop to think something was wrong when Tom sent his assistant to do the handoff? Did you not see something unusual about that?” My tone was full of sarcasm and my voice was getting louder. “Gee if this is how our government runs its intelligence operations, we’re screwed aren’t we?” Anger completely consumed me and the anger always unleashed the bitch.

  “Tom had talked about grooming you to take his position. We had been working on your back ground check for a while now. He just wasn’t sure how to approach you about helping us out,” Conway shifted his chair to face me now. “Tom gave me a heads up you would be coming in his place.”

  Both Seth and Jack looked at each other in surprise at Conway’s words. Obviously this was something they were not aware of.

  Suddenly I felt like the parent quizzing the child. “Then how was it supposed to happen? Was I supposed to just handoff the processor and go on my merry way? It would have been nice to have just a hint of what was going on? If you knew Tom had sent me, then why not give me a heads up” My words were directed at Conway now. “You know maybe a picture of Hassan? You can’t tell me you don’t have pictures?” I stopped and looked around at the men who surrounded me. They all sat there, mouths closed unsure on how to deal with the crazy woman who had erupted into a wise ass bitch. Every man who sat at the table shifted uncomfortably. Jack had finished his oatmeal and was staring at me and I met his stare and pointed, “And you? You followed Tom on these things all the time. You knew the protocol; could you not have had the common courtesy to warn me?”

  “I couldn’t Alison. That is the agreement. Neither government can interfere with the handoff, only observe. It is to be strictly an academic swapping of material. And I didn’t know you had switched out the processor.”

  “Academic swap my ass. This was a weapons swap – illegal via international treaty. There are no rules!” I paused for a moment and sucked in a deep breath, “Great, you know you guys run a really top notch operation.” I instinctively took my clip out and ran my fingers through my hair. It was still damp and cold from this morning. “Has anyone bothered to talk to Hassan and find out where the hell he was for this handoff?” I knew the answer to the question before I even finished it. But Seth confirmed it for me.

  “They found him dead yesterday. We think he died before you even arrived in Tel Aviv. I’m sorry.” Seth looked at Jack. “Look Alison, if we had known Hassan was dead, we would have interfered. But we had no idea until it was too late. And the Israeli’s weren’t very forthcoming with information either.”

  “So, they killed Hassan. Tell me, what stopped them from just killing me and taking the processor. Why let me do the handoff?”

  Jack shook his head. “Us. Seth and I never let you out of our sight. Not to mention if they killed Hassan they knew the Israeli’s would start the blame game and well, we would end up exactly where we are now.”

  My head began to spin and my chest tightened. ‘Great’ I thought to myself, ‘just what I didn’t need to have, another asthma attack.’ I suddenly felt ridiculous and it was at this point I wondered how I ever played college softball. Then I remembered that theoretically my life wasn’t in danger when I was on the softball field.

  Jack moved closer as I shoved my body back from the table and stood up. I tilted to one side and once again I felt his arm grab my elbow to steady me. With all the air I could muster in my lungs, I turned and pushed his arm away from me. “Back off!”

  Jack did and threw his hands up in the air. “Alison, please calm down.” His voice was calm, as I filled with pure panic. I put my hands up against the table and tried desperately to take a deep breath. But it wasn’t going to happen. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jack take something from Conway. Conspiracy images filled my brain as I pictured him giving me a shot to make me pass out. But it was only my inhaler he held. He undid the cap and pumped the inhaler and tried to hand it to me. I wanted nothing from him, my inhaler or his help. Suddenly my pride consumed me. I pushed his arm away again and the inhaler went flying across the room. It was getting harder to breathe but I didn’t care. I tried desperately to walk backwards out of the room. I wanted away from everyone and everything, but I had no clue where I was going to go. I only managed to spit the word intelligence out before the room spun out of control.

  Jack was the first to my side, Mrs. Walker, second, with the inhaler in hand. “She has a temper doesn’t she,” I heard Seth say somewhere in my general vicinity.

  “Do you want me to call the doc,” Conway asked.

  “No, I told you this wasn’t a good idea.” Jack shoved the inhaler in my mouth and pumped it. I was forc
ed to take in the mist with my next breath. I began to cough.

  “She still needs to answer some questions Jack. We all need a clearer picture of what happened and frankly right now she is the only one who can give us that picture.” Jack didn’t say another word. I felt him lift me up and carried me out of the kitchen and laid me on the couch in the living room.

  Although I could have opened my eyes, I kept them closed. I wasn’t ready for any more questions and I wasn’t ready to see the disappointment in Jack’s eyes. I felt his hand on my chest, this time lower than where he had placed it before.

  “Better?” I heard Seth ask. “Here’s the oxygen.”

  Oxygen, I thought to myself. I was amazed at their resources and the fact they even thought to grab oxygen and I was still swirling over their stupidity in Tel Aviv. I heard the machine start up and felt something over my face. I tried to take a deep breath and let the medicine expand my lungs. The burning sensation stopped and I could feel the relief instantly.

  I opened my eyes to find Jack and Mrs. Walker sitting next to me, Jack holding the mask. Seth and Conway stood behind talking. I tried to focus my eyes to gauge the reaction on Jack’s face. It wasn’t all what I had expected. I had expected disappointment for my ranting, anger for my blame game, but instead his eyes were filled with nothing but concern and worry. Suddenly a new knot formed in my chest, but it wasn’t another asthma attack, it was guilt.

  I tried to sit up, but Mrs. Walker gently pushed my shoulders down against the pillow of the couch. When that didn’t work I tried to push the mask away, but Jack obviously was stronger. “Stay put.” He gave me a look and I knew at once it wouldn’t be smart to argue with him. It would most likely end with me more frustrated and struggling once again for air.

  I watched the happenings around me in sort of a haze. Seth and Conway continued to talk and Jack whispered quietly to Mrs. Walker. I replayed the conversation before my fainting spell and my stubbornness took over once again. I pushed Jack’s hand off of the mask and pushed myself to sit up. Both Jack and Mrs. Walker let me sit up this time.

  “I am fine.” I managed to say. Jack’s hand came up and guided the mask back to my mouth.

  “Please.” His voice rang in my ears and his face was sincere in its request. There was no demand. I realized then that I was not going home until I answered all their questions.

  “Really I am ok,” I managed to whisper in a hoarse voice.

  I knew he didn’t believe me, but I didn’t care. I looked up at Conway and Seth and moved the mask so I could talk. “What else do you want to know?”

  Conway’s head tilted in satisfaction as he could read the resolve in my face, even if it was behind the mask. Jack shot him a look to back off, but Conway ignored him. “Alison? We need the processor.”

  “Fine,” I managed to whisper from behind the mask. “Send me home and you can have the processor. I’ll hand it over as soon as I am back in Albuquerque.” I bit my lip watching the men around me. My words were not a request, but more of a demand.

  Jack stifled back a laugh and watched Conway for his reaction. Suddenly his expression became serious again, “I’m going with her.” His words surprised me. As much as I had wanted it, I hadn’t truly expected him to say he wanted to take me home.

  “No.” Conway said with authority. “Catherine,” this was the first time I had heard anyone use Mrs. Walker’s first name, “stay with Alison.” Conway pushed Jack toward the kitchen and Seth followed them.

  Mrs. Walker, or Catherine as I now knew her only smiled halfheartedly at me. “This could get heated,” she stated as a mother observing her sons arguing. “They’ll work it out, we just have to be patient.” She leaned closer to me and smiled, “Jack will win. He always gets what he wants.” Within seconds the exchange between the three men started.

  “No, I will send someone else. I need both you and Seth here.” I heard Conway counter.

  “No, she trusts me,” Jack’s voice was calm and insistent. “I have come this far with her, why change it up?”

  After that their voices went quiet and I couldn’t hear much of anything. I sat up in the couch and put my legs on the floor. There was no way I felt that I could get up and walk but I wanted to sit up straight. Mrs. Walker sat next to me.

  “It seems you have created quite a stir my dear. You doing better?” The older lady asked.

  I took another deep breath from the mask before I answered her. I was feeling better, and I smiled to convince her. I didn’t say much as the minutes passed by but I did watch the lady who sat next to me. Although she had been the sweetest thing I had seen in days, I realized by looking at her she was a force to be reckoned with. Cross her and the consequences would be severe. “I didn’t mean to cause problems. I just want to go home.”

  “I know,” she responded.

  J

  I tried desperately to defend my position. Technically the whole handoff screw up was my fault and I needed to rectify the situation. I didn’t keep a close enough eye on things or in contact with Tom. I was the first person he should have called to tell me he was sending someone in his place, not Conway. And I knew if he had, we would have called off the entire exchange. Alison, innocently came into the picture and now I at least had to help her out. I owed it to her to keep her safe. Although Tom had often times talked of possibly bringing her in to the picture, he never confirmed nor did he go forward with talking to her. The most we knew of her was what we had gathered from her academic, credit and work record; and of course, Tom’s own words.

  “Let me get the processor and make sure she is safe. We still don’t know who killed Tom. Alison is technically still in danger.” I could tell Conway was still hesitant but he really couldn’t argue with my point because it was true. Alison was still in danger and we needed the processor. And technically we weren’t supposed to be involved. After all it was and academic swap between countries. Or at least it was labeled that.

  “I still don’t think it is that great of an idea to send you. I need you here. You had interaction with the Israeli’s and frankly you might be able to calm them down.”

  “So did Seth,” I argued. “Look both Seth and I were in Tel Aviv for this thing. He is as much prepared to deal with the Israeli’s as I am.”

  I could tell Conway wasn’t completely convinced of this. There was more to it but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

  Finally, he relented. “Let me make some phone calls. Then I’ll make my decision.” Conway disappeared in the office behind the kitchen. It was a high tech communication center that enabled us to communicate with anyone around the world.

  “He’s not buying it. And frankly neither am I,” Seth managed to spit out.

  I looked at Seth confused. “What’s there to buy Seth? You are more than capable of handling the Israeli’s. I don’t need to deal with them. I go back with her, get the processor and some answers. I can also try and get some more information out of Sonny.” The plan was forming in my head but I watched my friend’s face grow skeptical.

  “Jack?”

  “Seth, come on. Someone, besides Alison knows who Tom has talked to.”

  “Jack, you have lost it.” Seth sat down at the kitchen table and leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. “I never thought I would see the day when you lost your mind.”

  He was completely right, but I wasn’t going to admit it to him. Normally, it would be easy to hand someone off, but this was different. Seth knew me well, we had been through some pretty hairy situations together and in all those situations he had never told me I had lost my mind and meant it like he did now. I sat down next to him. “I haven’t lost my mind Seth. It makes sense.”

  “Sure it makes sense. Your plans always make sense. But Jack, you don’t see it.” He still had a smile on his face but behind the smile, I could see the seriousness of his words.

  “See what? That she needs someone she can trust? C’mon Seth.” I wasn’t sure what else to say to him.<
br />
  “I told you, you are getting too close to this girl - too protective. We can’t save everyone.” This time he leaned forward and folded his hands on the kitchen table.

  Seth’s words burned right through me. “She deserves better than this Seth.” He was wrong, I wasn’t being protective. Maybe I was just tired of not being able to save everyone. I was trying desperately to justify my reasoning for wanting to stay with her. I saw what Seth was trying to say to me. Years of work in the field had given us an edge with each other. If it was entirely possible we could read each other’s minds.

  “You’re getting too close to her Jack.”

  I shook my head, “No, I want to protect her.”

  I sat at the table and stared at Seth. I wanted to protect Alison. I was sure it was because we had dropped the ball and not properly predicted this outcome. It wasn’t fair to her that all this went haywire. And I would keep telling myself this. We sat there for a moment not saying anything to each other. I could hear the gentle hum of the nebulizer in the next room. I was happy to hear it was on and she was still using it. I brought my hands to my face and rubbed.

  I heard footsteps behind me and both Seth and I turned to the sound. It was Mrs. Walker.

  “I figured it was safe to walk in.”

  “Yeah, it’s safe. No hand to hand combat today,” Seth joked as she walked closer to where we sat. “You should go check on her Jack.”

  I looked at him puzzled, not quite sure what to make of them, but being the good Marine, I did as I was told and slowly got up from the chair and turned to walk into the living room where Alison sat.

  “Wait,” Mrs. Walker said. “Here, she needs some water. Try to keep her calm ok. Her breathing is normal now.”

  I nodded in acknowledgement and walked out of the room, glass of water in hand. I heard Seth mumble something, but I ignored his comments.