The Protector

by Dawn Marie Snyder

  Seth had sent Joed and Noor to help me protect Alison. However, in retrospect, I think he sent them to protect Alison from me. My friend knew me too well and had seen from the beginning my attraction to this woman. Seth also had his suspicions about who was really behind the processor switch and his insistence on me coming out was more than just to get me away from Sonny.

  Seth met us at the airport, alone, which seemed rather odd since I was under the impression our orders to return came from Conway.

  “Where’s the boss,” I asked looking around for the man who had last met me at the airport.

  “Not here, come on.” Seth seemed a little too quiet for my liking, which was highly unusual. He usually commented on everything and I had whole heartedly expected a lecture from him on Alison and keeping my distance. But he said nothing as we went to his car.

  It wasn’t until we were in the car and moving that Seth spoke to either one of us. “When are you planning on turning over the processor?”

  “When someone can guarantee me Sonny will be safe. Conway hasn’t and I seriously don’t think he’s going to. ” I too had my suspicions, but I had not yet discussed these with Seth.

  “Conway isn’t going to help Jack. I think he’s behind this.” Seth’s eyes never left the road in front of him. “He thinks you are in Rio somewhere and I think you should keep it that way. Matter of fact, I think you need to get Alison the hell out of the country before he realizes she’s within his grasp.”

  I looked at Seth confused. It was a rare occasion when I couldn’t read Seth or at least gather a presumption about what he was thinking. Today was one of those rare moments and that bothered me. The fact that he even suggested I take Alison out of the country surprised me.

  “This coming from the man who thinks I am completely off my rocker for wanting to protect her?” I glanced at Seth in disbelief.

  “It’s more than protecting her Jack. It’s obvious you have it bad for this woman, and if you care about her like I think you do, you need to get her the hell out of the country and go into hiding.” I thought about his words and the conversation I had had with Alison the night before. I had wanted her to run away with me purely for selfish reasons. I wanted her to myself. But deep down inside I knew she would never consent to it. I had a feeling she would rather face whoever was trying to kill her than hide permanently, even if it was with me. “What kept you from bringing her back to DC to a safe house.”

  His question was a legitimate one. “Intuition and when has that ever proven me wrong?” Seth knew me enough and had served with me in the military and in the civilian sector to know I went on my intuition and it was always right. Arrogant as it seemed, I was taught to trust my intuition.

  “Intuition about what? Mike?” Over the years, Seth and I had been able to guess each other’s assumptions. We knew each other so well we could predict each other’s moves.

  “Yeah. I didn’t think she would be safe here. I beginning to think I was right,” I responded somberly.

  “You realize that Mike is not going to stop even when he has the processor. She is one of the few that can link him to Tom.”

  “She can link us all to Tom, Seth?” I could feel the tension in the air and knew by Seth’s tone he was serious about getting her out of the country.

  “He wants her dead. Just like he killed Tom when he knew Tom wasn’t going to do as he was asked.” He glanced briefly away from the road and at me. I knew that this was something he was sure of. Fury began to rage through me. My chest began to tighten and my knuckles turned white as I curled my fingers in. The thought of Alison alone with Noor began to frightened the hell out of me. Suddenly all the fears I had of leaving her alone came to surface. Knowing Conway as I did, I knew that there was nothing that was going to stop him from finding her.

  I looked back at Joed who sat quietly in the back absorbing our conversation. “We’ve had our suspicions for some time that something was up. We’ve wanted to question Tom for a while. But we wanted it done on our turf.” I understood his words and the meaning behind them. Questioning him on their home territory meant not having to answer to our laws and our Supreme Court.

  We arrived at Seth’s North Beach home and the three of us remained quiet as we walked in and settled. Seth’s house was small, only two bedrooms but it butted right up against the Chesapeake Bay. Like my place in Arizona, it was an escape. A place he could go and not be anyone but him. In the corner of his living room was a work bench where he worked diligently during respites on his model ships. It always amazed me that a high strung person like Seth could do such a hobby with such intricate and delicate details.

  Seth went to his refrigerator and pulled out three beers and handed one to each of us. “I don’t think it was Tom who told Alison to go to Tel Aviv. I think Tom was already dead.”

  “He’s made a mistake,” Joed said from the corner of the room by Seth’s table. “Now that we know, He is surely going to be questioned by my government.”

  “I don’t understand why? He has it good.” I really didn’t understand why Mike would take this path.

  Seth looked from Joed to me and took long drink of his cold beer. “Greed. Plain and simple.” I couldn’t combat Seth’s words. He was right. What makes anyone do something wrong?

  Joed disappeared out of the room to make a phone call and I followed Seth out the back door which led to the water. We stood in silence and I could tell by the look on his face he had questions for me but he didn’t want to ask them. The sun had set and there was a cold breeze coming off the water. The lights of the harbor were bright tonight. Brighter than I remembered but it had been about six months since I was last there. I had spent a lot of time with Seth when Paige passed away, hiding from the world at large.

  “Noor sent me a message. She’s fine you know.” Seth walked up and stood next to me looking out over the water.

  I only nodded and shoved my hands in my pockets.

  “Never seen you like this before, in almost15 years.” His voice was quiet and he hung his head.

  “Like what? Protective of someone? I’ve protected lots of people before.” I knew what he was hinting at, but I wasn’t going to admit it.

  “Noor said it was like pulling teeth to get you to come out here.” Seth didn’t look at me. But I could read the disappointment in his voice.

  “She threatened to turn my ass in for kidnapping. What else was I supposed to do?” My voice was harsh but my words were true. Noor had threatened me and she would have turned me in for kidnapping.

  Seth laughed. “Yeah doesn’t surprise me with her. You know more than anyone, Noor is capable of keeping her out of harm’s way.”

  “I know.” I didn’t turn to look at him. “She’s probably safer with Noor than with me.” I shook my head and took a deep breath and looked back toward the house to see if Joed was going to be joining us. But he still stood on the porch talking on his phone.

  “You won’t hurt her.” Seth’s words weren’t very reassuring.

  “I’d rather suffer at the hands of the world’s worst than see her hurt physically or emotionally.” It was true, but I wasn’t ready to walk out of her life. That was my dilemma. I was more than attached to her. I was waist deep in love with her.

  “I think you are screwed emotionally man. You can’t walk away from this easily you know that don’t you. You let yourself get too attached.”

  I finally looked at the man who stood next to me. I had known all along that this was not going to end easily. “You know I asked her to run away with me. That’s how bad it is. I was ready to walk away from everything for her.”

  His eyebrows furrowed as he heard my words. “And she wouldn’t would she?”

  I only shook my head in response and this didn’t seem to surprise him.

  “Can you blame her? She’s running away now and to run,”

  I didn’t let Seth finish. “You aren’t telling me anything I don’t already know. I can’t separate myself from her Seth.�
� I turned to face him now. “You don’t know what she has done to me.”

  Seth shrugged his shoulders. “Wow maybe you were the one who needed protection from her not the other way around.”

  I smiled at my friends suggestion. “Maybe. But no matter what, this isn’t going to end well. To hell with me, I want to make sure she is safe and taken care of Seth. I don’t know how to do that right now. I don’t know how to end this and I have never had that problem.”

  In all the years as a government agent and a government contractor I had never had the problem of finding a solution to any problem or action I encountered. Now, my judgment was clouded. I wanted her safe but I didn’t want to leave her side either. Solving the problem meant leaving her.

  “I have an idea, but you are going to have to trust me and do all that I tell you. I want to keep her safe and I promise I will. But I want to bring him down Jack.”

  “Ok.” I had no other choice but to agree to go along with Seth. Alison’s life was still at stake. And I would sacrifice my own if it meant keeping her safe.

  24 FRIENDS

  I had to admit the days seemed to fly by with them split between Eric and Noor. The more I spent time with Noor the more I enjoyed her company. She had a sense of humor that kept me in stitches as she constantly made fun of both her and I. And she quietly encouraged me to spend as much time with Eric as possible. I had even gone with him to visit his newborn niece a few times. Each time, he made a comment about us having children when the time was right. And each time it pained me to know I was going to walk away from him soon and there would not be an “us.” I felt guilty for leading him on as I knew I was doing. But Noor wouldn’t let me bring him down gently. She would push me to the door when it was time go meet him. And she would ask me question after question about his plans for the future and what I saw for the two of us, how many kids. did we have any animals, and where we would go on our honeymoon. I answered them just to make her happy and it seemed to work for the most part.

  I knew her motives were to get me close to Eric without Jack around and then maybe once this whole fiasco was over I would be able to walk away from Jack. But little did she really know how impossible that was going to be.

  Even with him not being in the same state, his presence was everywhere. He had left his grey sweatshirt and his faded New York Yankees cap at the hotel the day he left. I had wondered if he had done that on purpose. To me they were all him and I found myself sleeping with them at night, a fact I kept hidden from Noor.

  Eric tried every chance he could to get me to stay the night with him and each night I refused his advances and turned blindly from his kisses. He knew something was bothering me, but he never inquired after that first night with him. He never asked me about another man, although I knew it was constantly on his mind.

  Although I had somewhat expected it to come at some point, I felt completely blindsided when he had finally he had had enough and he let loose.

  “Who is he?” He had paused the movie and pushed himself away from me with an angry shove. He had been an ass pretty much all night but I ignored it chalking it up to my lack of wanting to discuss the future. I had changed the subject every time he had brought it up.

  “He who,” I could feel my heart start to beat faster as I knew what he was at getting at. But I still played dumb.

  “The guy that is occupying your mind as of late.” I could see the fury in his eyes as he saw right through me. A different type of ache radiated through my body now. This one was pain produced by guilt, guilt for lying to him and guilt for leading him on the way I had.

  I only stared at him not knowing whether to get up and move further away from him or stay as still as I could. I didn’t know how to answer his question nor did I want to. “Eric, not now.”

  He slammed down the remote and got up from where he sat. “Stop toying with me Alison. It’s not fair!” He was right, it wasn’t fair to him. “Every time I kiss you it’s like you are a million miles away.”

  I couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes. “Eric?” His name was all I could manage to get out. Once again, like the first day, he had me speechless. I had to give him more credit than I was. I had not been as affectionate as I could have been. I could have made my reasoning of trying to discover my feelings for him move believable but I didn’t. I hadn’t even tried. I shunned away when he tried to touch me and my lips were like ice when he did try and kiss me. The one time I did try and return the affection in a kiss, he took as a sign of me wanting more and then it only ended in frustration for him as I had pushed him away.

  “I think it’s better if I leave Eric.” I stood up and walked to the kitchen where I had left my purse.

  Before I knew it, his fingers were wound tightly around my forearm and his grip was painful. I realized then that I had pushed the limits with him. “Not until I get some answers,” he seethed.

  “Jack!” His name slipped out before I even realized. Eric let go of my arm and I watched as he turned away from me. He shoved his hands in his pockets and began to pace in the dining room. He didn’t say a word for the longest time. Finally I couldn’t handle the silence any longer.

  “Eric?” I walked over and put my arm on his shoulder to stop him. But he pushed it away with an anger I had never experienced with him.

  He turned back around and the hurt and anger were evident in his eyes. “Leave Alison. Go back to your hotel and back home to whoever this Jack is.” I watched as the tears welled up in the corner of his eyes. It felt as if I had been slapped in the face by his extreme hatred of me at the moment. I could do nothing, as he stood there.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I grabbed my purse and walked to the back door. As I opened the door I caught sight of a small red velvet box sitting on the counter. My heart fell suddenly as I realized what was probably in the box. And his words from earlier fluttered through my head. “I have a surprise for you.”

  As I closed the door behind me I let the tears fall freely. I made it to the car and noticed as the lights on a car down the road turned on. It was Noor and I would soon need to face her and her disappointment. I drove straight to the hotel and I didn’t wait for her to get out of Jack’s BMW and walk with me to the rooms. I ran as fast as the boots I was wearing would let me. I barely beat her to the elevator and to the rooms before I shut the door and collapsed on the bed. My tears turned into quiet sobs.

  “Alison?” Noor knocked on the door that separated our two rooms.

  “I’m fine,” I managed to yell out at her.

  “Alison, please let me in and tell me what happened.” She pleaded with me now. “If Jack comes back and you are hurt, trust me when I say I will be wishing for death.” I took a deep breath and got up and unlatched the lock that kept the door closed. I didn’t look at her as I turned and walked back to the bed I had been lying on.

  Noor walked past me and took a seat on the couch that was by the window. “What happened?”

  I might as well tell her I thought to myself, even if she did chastise me for my stupidity. “I called him Jack.”

  “Ooh.” I could hear the surprise and what I thought was disappointment in her voice. But she didn’t say anything else to me. She only looked at me waiting for me to say something more.

  “Well aren’t you going to chastise me or something? Yell at me please. Tell me how stupid I am!” I began to raise my voice and flail my arms all around. “I mean how stupid can I be. Calling the man who loves me by the name of the man I have fallen in love with. How stupid am I? Pretty stupid if you ask me?” I was ranting now, my voice loud and tears flowing heavily down my face. If roles were reverse I was sure I would be laughing hysterically at the woman who was ranting incoherently.

  Noor stood up and walked to my side. Before I realized it she was kneeling in front of me trying to get my attention. “Alison? You’re not stupid. You made a mistake.” I couldn’t tell if she meant that I had made a mistake by calling him Jack or made a mistake by admitting I had
fallen for Jack.

  I put my face in my hands and began to rub the tears away. My nose was still tender from the car accident a little over a week ago.

  “Alison, maybe it was better this way. No matter what happens with Jack, you knew in your heart that Eric wasn’t who you wanted to share your life with. Right?“

  “I hurt him!” I declared. Noor had a point. I had been leading him on all week and it wasn’t fair to him. Nor was it fair to me.

  “You know this is all Jack’s fault,” she mumbled to herself. “He should have,” She didn’t finish as she raised her head and met my eyes.

  “He should have what Noor?”

  “He should have taken you to DC, Alison. Then you could have discovered all this about Eric on your own without Jack’s influence. You would be safe now and Jack out of your life. It would be over Alison.”

  Her words were painful to hear. Although it had been only a few short weeks, I couldn’t imagine Jack out of my life and away from me. And I couldn’t imagine it being that simple. Noor didn’t elaborate after that and I didn’t ask her too. My only question to her was simple, “Is he coming back?” I wanted to be prepared if he wasn’t.

  Noor looked into my eyes but did not utter a response. I knew by her look that he was coming back the only question left unanswered was when. Noor did not bring Jack back into the conversation the rest of the night. We talked only of Eric and my anguish at hurting him but my relief in not leading him on any longer. We talked long into the night about everything. I was thankful for her humor and the way she made fun of both of us. It had been a long time since I had laughed that hard.

  Before we both turned in for the night, we decided that we would go for a run in the early afternoon. Since I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be seeing much of Eric from this point on, the run would make time go a little faster as we waited for Jack and Joed to return. Noor and I had taken up running the path that ran along the Rogue River in the mornings. It was wonderful not only to have someone to run with but to get out and let some frustration out in the process. It was something I had looked forward to the last few days and I was defiantly looking forward to it tomorrow.