How to Control Co-Dependent People

by Tim Ozman

  Keep them mouldy. Stagnant. Keep them complacent. Encourage slothfulness. Do not permit your codependent to stay in shape and dress well. You want them to lose self-confidence and nothing will erode self-confidence like the self-consciousness which comes from weight gain, poor eating habits, and loss of sociability. Isolated people will tend to become increasingly asocial.

  When you’ve helped them into a lifestyle which makes them feel unattractive, they’ll be more dependent upon you for attention. Consider this an act of assisted social suicide. When you’re the sole supplier, you can withdraw your attention at any time. This dynamic gives you power.

  The mold you create for them will become a prison cell and you’ll be their warden. You can then fill them with self-doubt and they’ll cling to you. People are supposed to change over time. It is human nature. When you prevent someone from growing and changing, you are essentially killing them from the inside out. It's called soul-murder. When you have stifled their soul’s expression, you will own them body and mind.

  You must eliminate their self-esteem and replace it with a pseudo-self esteem which is dependent upon your approval. Make them beg for approval and always hold the threat of retracting it over their heads. Make them aware of how fragile they are and how flippantly and easily you could reject them.

  Abused people will always seek out other abusers because their need for validation combined with their low self-esteem requires it. The longer you confine your victim within the Box, the less pride they will have. They will not stand up to your abuse. In fact, they will self-abuse and engage in risky behaviors with no concern for their long-term safety. You may find alcohol or other drugs useful in encouraging their self-abasement. This will also give you new avenues for guilt tripping and shaming your codependent.

  If you do praise them, do so with with a forked tongue. Remember, flattery should only be used to coerce and control, never to boost their self-esteem. For example, don't say "you look beautiful." Instead say, "that dress I bought you looks great on you." Remind them that you are the source of everything, including their own sense of self-worth. Better yet, say something terrible about someone you both know, using a comparison to both compliment, and threaten. For instance, "You look way hotter than that lazy pig Sarah. I'm glad you age gracefully." This sends home the message that if she should gain weight or acquire wrinkles, you'll reject her. It also reinforces that she needs to maintain her looks only for your enjoyment of her body, and not for her own sense of self-worth.

  Men can controlled on their body image as well. Everyone has body image issues. With men, receding hairlines, pot-bellies, and skinny legs are fair game. The idea here is to target those areas which are difficult or impossible to change. You need to focus on those areas they have no control over.

  The Box you create is made up of insecurity and fear. You want to turn the fear of change into a resolve not to change. When they are afraid to change or to try and improve themselves, your other subtle emotional jabs will hit them harder. It’s one thing to be criticized for something one can change and gain self-respect for; it’s quite another to be criticized for something immutable or unchangeable.

  If your codependent is insecure about their lack of education, don’t attack them on that point until you’ve made certain that they lack the confidence to get into school. If you attack too soon, you might elicit in them a desire to prove you wrong, which is what you must avoid at all costs. Don’t allow them to take mold-shattering actions. Diminish their expectations by placing them into the Box and cutting them off mentally from any hope of seeing beyond it.

  11) Recruit Proxy Abusers

  Your victims will eventually become so narrowly focused on their short term survival that they will disregard their own needs for security, safety, love, and meaning. Instead, their happiness will revolve around you and your emotions. They will be relaxed only when you are happy. The rest of the time they will be anxious, walking on eggshells, and attentive to your every need. This is where you want them.

  However, there may be times when you don’t have direct access to them. For instance, in between Abuse Cycles, they might temporarily be out of your reach. Perhaps you went too far and chased them out of your control matrix. This is not a problem as long as you have access to Proxy Abusers.

  Proxy Abusers are those individuals you have previously charmed with flattery and attention. The only reason you should ever give attention or compliments to anyone is so that later you can call upon them for small favors. For example, if your girlfriend moves in with her parents because you were excessively controlling, you might have to admit defeat. However, if you have already established yourself as a nice guy to her family, then you can go through them to reach her.

  For instance, invite her father to lunch, and wear your nice guy mask. Act dumbfounded and play the victim. Say things like, “I just want what’s best for her,” and move on to other subjects. Make her only a small, small percentage of what you talk about. This will make it easy for him not to mention you to her. And when he does, she’s such a minor part of it that she feels invalidated, minimized, and to top it off, since you’re presented as a nice guy who is selflessly concerned about her, she will appear to selfish and unconcerned by contrast.

  Win over people in your victim's social circle in advance in order to extend your range of control in between Abuse Cycles. This will result in their continued sense of alienation. Even better, you can exert pressure on them to bring your codependent back to you.

  They will be your advocates. They will reinforce your role as a good person. Your ability to reach your codependent anywhere will make your power all encompassing.

  Many who have escaped emotional abuse will refer to these Proxy Abusers as “flying monkeys,” a reference to the Wicked Witch of the West and her winged simian enforcers. This is an apt description for what you should seek in your proxies. You want unquestioning servants.

  Since you can’t drop your mask and control them with fear, you will have to rely upon their misperception of you as a genuinely nice person. If you can’t maintain that facade, play the aggreviece victim and let your flying monkeys become white knights in your service.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Tim Ozman is the President of the ANTIMEDIA NETWORK. The organization exposes mass media manipulation and government mind control. He feels that if you can grasp mind control at the interpersonal level, you will then be innoculated against it at the macro level.

  http://antimedia.network