Persona - A Disturbing Psychological Thriller

by Horn, Marc

  ‘What the fuck’s going on?’ Zen shouted.

  Jen and Dave turned and saw him standing fifteen metres away. Somehow, he seemed to dwarf the trees around him. His terrifying aura reached out and struck Dave with both awe and fear. Dave trembled, but he had to act now. The time was right.

  ‘Who the fuck are you?’ Zen asked Dave, a psychotic edge to his tone.

  Bemused, Jen stared at Dave and wondered what was going on. Why hadn’t Zen acknowledged him by name? Why had he asked who Dave was? The police had said they were still friends. They’d seized photos of them together. Was this another game? She felt frustrated that Dave had intervened, and suspected he was working with the bastard, preserving her life so that Zen could continue torturing her. It wouldn’t work. She would take her own life and end the fun.

  ‘I’m Dave Pickett,’ Dave answered Zen. ‘I’m on your side.’

  Jen kicked out at him and tried to crawl away, but Dave grabbed her hair and then pushed her head into the ground. She squirmed wildly on the frozen earth.

  Zen watched curiously as they struggled together. Clearly it was a trap, but he was certain it was just the three of them in the woods. Surely this weedy cunt hadn’t been instructed to kill him? Jenny had to be insane to expect him to overcome Zen.

  Events had unfolded as Zen had expected them to until ‘Pickett’ had intervened. Although not the outcome he most desired, suicide would still have been justice; he’d still have incited her to choose death over life. Making the ultimate sacrifice for her mistakes would prove how effective his campaign had been. It was easy, inferior to the psychological death he craved, but still justice.

  There had to be an ulterior motive, but Zen couldn’t tell what it was. He curled his finger through the trigger guard. They were foolish to test him. He’d eliminate any threat as soon as it surfaced. The stupid bitch never learnt.

  Pickett managed to overcome her, pinning her face down on the ground.

  ‘This is for you, Zen!’ he cried.

  Zen froze as Pickett slowly drew a pistol from his pocket and pressed the barrel against her skull. He pressed her face into the dirt with his other hand and then pulled the trigger. The silencer minimised the noise and Jenny stopped resisting. She was dead.

  Pickett blasted another round through her head, and then dropped the gun on the ground. As Pickett backed away, Zen could see matted blood on her hair and smothered on Pickett’s hands.

  Dave stared at her, horrified. His body convulsed. He’d taken a human life. Dave Pickett, law-abiding individual who had never harmed a fly, had committed the worst of crimes… He began to hyperventilate and slumped onto the dirt, stuttering at the gruesome sight in front of him. He needed consolation, to be held, but it wouldn’t happen. He bowed his head and wept.

  Seconds later, he told himself to stop and pull himself together - he had to implement the consequence of this heinous act. Good would be reaped from this, and in the end it would be worth it. Knowing this had given him the courage to see it through. When the haze and shock dissipated, everything would be clear. Tentatively, he glanced up at Zen, who was staring in wide-eyed disbelief. ‘She’s d-d-dead,’ Dave whined.

  ‘Who the fuck are you?’

  Dave’s limbs wobbled when he got to his feet and staggered towards Zen.

  ‘Did you fucking hear me?’ Zen drew his pistol, pointed it at Dave’s head.

  Dave gasped, stopping ten feet from Zen. His forearms felt like jelly as he lifted them in surrender. ‘I am no threat to you. I’m Dave Pickett…your friend.’

  ‘I don’t have friends. Friends are for pussies. Why did you kill her?’

  ‘To end this… She’s…dead. Now you can rest… There’s no challenge. No victim.’

  Zen’s arm shook as he aimed the pistol, and he backed up against a tree. He felt weak and dizzy. Jenny was dead. She was no more. There was no more. Ten years… Ten fucking years and now it was over. No more planning, hunting, waiting, analysing, exertion, torture, exhilaration, reflection, risk or death. Everything had gone and for what? Her murder. Someone else had ended her nightmare with a bullet. It was a massive, unacceptable injustice… He began to choke.

  ‘You fucking…cunt!’ Zen’s fingers lost tension and his gun slipped free, thudding on the earth. He slid down the tree and onto his buttocks. ‘You cunt. You fucking cunt!’ Pickett became a blur in his watery eyes.

  ‘What d’you mean?’ Dave cried.

  Zen opened his arms wide. ‘This wasn’t…isn’t how it was supposed to end!’ He let them fall back against his sides.

  Dave mouthed silent words before he spoke. ‘She’s dead! It’s over.’

  ‘Ten years… Ten years and she won,’ Zen muttered sombrely.

  Dave sighed. ‘How did she win?’ he asked, becoming aggressive. ‘Her life’s been taken!’

  Zen looked up at him, his anger rising. ‘That’s the point – her life was taken. She hadn’t taken it herself, and she hadn’t lost her mind.’ He summoned energy, picked up the handgun and aimed it at Pickett. ‘You’ll pay for this outrage.’

  Dave gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. ‘You won’t kill me. You’re no longer a murderer. Zen has ceased to exist. You are Ryan Haynes clinging onto a dying persona.’

  The barrel wavered – Zen had to use the sight to keep Pickett in line.

  ‘There’s no substance left,’ Dave continued. ‘You’re pointing that gun at me because you’re scared. Let go, Ryan. Be yourself again. Zen has done his work and cannot live any longer. There is no reason for you to kill me. I am your friend. I have always been your friend.’

  Zen stared at Jenny’s lifeless body and shuddered. There was nothing left - the fire and hate had passed. The phase that had consumed him was now gone. He felt empty, and stared at the pistol pointing at the stranger who was speaking to him. Why did he want to kill him? He didn’t know. He looked around him. Suddenly the sky closed in fiercely, ripping trees from their roots and hurling them towards him. Terrified, he watched as they thumped into his body. Other trees piled up behind them, suffocating him, and then he was lifted into the sky and spun around at such a ferocious speed that he lost consciousness…

  He woke to Dave slapping his cheek. Disorientated, he leapt to his feet and ran a few steps, before stopping, spinning around, and facing him.

  ‘What the fuck’s going on?’

  ‘We need to get out of here, Ryan.’

  Ryan stared at the body sprawled on the dirt. A small pool of blood, turned dark by the twilight sky, glistened beneath her head. ‘Who the fuck is that?’

  ‘Don’t worry about her. She’s dead.’

  Ryan walked towards her. Dave sprang to his feet and grabbed his arm. ‘Ryan, listen to me. We have to get out of here! We haven’t got time to mess around. I just killed her and I don’t want to spend my life inside.’

  ‘You killed her? Why?’

  ‘It was to do with one of your personas. I had to kill her to save you. I’ll tell you about it later. Come on, I’m scared!’ Dave quickly retrieved the pistol he’d used and tucked it in his pocket.

  ‘Oi! Ryan shouted. ‘That’s my fucking pistol!’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Dave said, heading off. ‘I had to borrow it from your cupboard.’

  ‘Give it to me. I need to be armed.’

  ‘You can use the one you brought.’ Dave pointed at the pistol lying next to the tree ahead of them. ‘I might need this.’

  Ryan stared blankly at him for a second, then grabbed the gun and slipped it in his pocket. As they hurried through the woods, he said, ‘Where the fuck are we?’

  ‘Knoll Wood. D’you know it?’

  ‘Not well.’

  ‘I’ll give you directions home.’

  ‘I’ve moved.’

  ‘Well, I’ll tell you where the train station is.’

  ‘Did you leave traces?’

  ‘What d’you think?’ Dave replied impatiently. ‘There’s discharge residue and clothing fibres. I left nothing
I could remove myself.’

  ‘Fuck me… Dave the killer!’ Ryan exclaimed, grinning.

  Dave spun around and grabbed hold of him by the throat. Ryan gripped Dave’s wrists and stared at him in disbelief. ‘It’s not a fucking joke, Ryan! I killed someone for you, because you were so sick you couldn’t see how fucked up you were! I went against everything I stood for – my morals and sense of justice – for you, so don’t fucking laugh about it! I saved your arse.’

  Ryan pushed him away. ‘Okay, point taken. It would be easier for me to understand if I remembered it.’

  ‘Well, you won’t, because it was part of a split personality. Just forget about it for now. We have to save ourselves. You’re in as much danger as I am. You terrorised her for ten years, killed her father, and crippled her boyfriend.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I’ll tell you later.’ Dave took a deep breath. ‘Right, when we leave these woods, we need to separate ourselves. Our faces are all over the news. We need to keep a low profile. Don’t speak to people. If someone recognises you, it’s all over - police will have the entire cavalry out. And you will get life. You head downhill, I’ll go up. The station’s about a mile on.’

  Ryan sighed. Confused, he wanted to understand what had happened. He knew Dave had his best interests at heart, but found it hard to believe he’d actually murdered someone. But Ryan had seen her corpse. Blood had pissed from her head. He reasoned that after the ‘bathroom’ episode it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that Dave would go to such lengths to protect him. Dave had said he’d rather die than be despised by Ryan.

  Dave moved off and so then did Ryan. He had to trust Dave. Clearly a persona Ryan was unaware of had put him in danger, and Dave was protecting him. ‘Col’ had seemed implausible to Ryan when Dave had confronted him about it, but Dave’s persistence had forced him to realise the truth. That persona had lasted three months. If Dave was correct and this persona had existed for ten years, then it was feasible that Ryan would be totally ignorant of it.

  Ryan increased his pace and exited the tree line at the bottom of the hill. Casually, he glanced back and saw Dave scurrying over the brow of the hill. He faced forward again and made his way home. It was a fifty-mile journey.

  After Dave passed over the peak, he disappeared into the trees and hectically made his way back to Jenny. It was difficult to see now that it was dark. He clawed his way through the branches, panting, sweating, and praying that she’d still be there.

  When he stumbled, he crawled forwards before struggling to his feet, intent on finding her urgently and completing his plan. Desperately, he looked ahead. He should see her by now. She should be there on the ground. She wasn’t! Dave clutched his heart and stopped fast. No!

  Something caught his eye. He turned towards it… Jenny! It was her! Lying on the ground where he’d left her. He exhaled heavily with relief, moved up to her and crouched down. He gently stroked her hair and smiled.

  ‘It’s over now, Jenny. It’s all over. I’ve ended the nightmare.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ she replied timidly, as he lifted her head from the ground to brush away the dirt. Her ears rang.

  He rested her head back on the ground. ‘I’m positive,’ he affirmed. ‘He thinks you’re dead, therefore he ceases to exist.’

  Jen pushed herself up and onto her side. ‘You’re not making sense.’

  Dave ensured he had eye contact with her before speaking. ‘Ben Salks became Zen when you betrayed his love. But he only existed to punish you.’

  Jen shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair.

  ‘It’s animal blood.’

  She retched and pushed herself away.

  ‘I had to make it convincing,’ Dave explained. ‘Zen is no fool.’

  Suddenly Jen lashed out at him, digging her fingers in his head. Dave fell onto his back and protested.

  ‘If you knew, why didn’t you do anything before?’ she demanded to know. ‘My father’s dead… Dead!’

  ‘I didn’t know!’ Dave rolled away from her. ‘I only realised when I read the papers. Jesus, he kept it secret from himself for ten years! Didn’t you just hear him? He didn’t have the foggiest idea what had happened, nor who Zen was!’

  Jen sighed, closed her eyes. ‘I was about to take my own life.’

  Dave sat up, looked at the noose. ‘I know. I was so relieved I got to you in time. And I was terrified you might do it while we were away. I ran back here as soon as I could. Thanks for trusting me.’

  ‘I didn’t know what to think. I remembered you from all those years ago, and it wasn’t that I trusted you, it just wouldn’t have harmed anyone to give you a chance. If you had lied, I could simply top myself. I wasn’t suicidal – I just wanted to save the people I love.’

  ‘You played along superbly.’

  ‘When you shot me, I thought it was real and the shock kept me still. While I lay there, I realised I was still alive, and though I didn’t know what you had planned, I played along like you’d told me to. I felt you press liquid into my hair and then you shot me again.’ She tenderly touched her scalp.

  ‘I took one of Zen’s handguns to a firearms dealer I used to know when I was a police officer. I’d recovered property stolen from him, and at the time he was very appreciative. Anyway, he remembered me and helped with my request. I needed to fire that handgun at you without harming you, and at the same time convince Zen that you were dead. The dealer transformed the gun into a simulated version. It looks and sounds the same as a gun fitted with a silencer, but has a sealed barrel to prevent the round escaping. The blank rounds have brass cases just like real rounds, but use a paper cover to keep the gunpowder in place instead of a bullet. The amount of powder used is just enough to produce the muffled muzzle blast you heard, and to enable ejection of the empty case and chambering of a new round for the next shot. And I had to burst this capsule on your head.’ Dave pulled out two empty, transparent containers. ‘They made it realistic. I squashed the other one on the ground when he lost consciousness, to simulate leakage.’

  Jen stared up at the rope. ‘Can this really work? Can I really stop worrying and feel safe?’

  ‘Yes, but there’s one drawback.’ He stared seriously at her. ‘You have to leave. I don’t know what might happen if Ryan happened to run into you. It’s possible Zen could be reborn, I just don’t know.’

  ‘That’s not safety.’

  ‘It is if you go far enough away.’

  ‘Leave the country?’

  ‘No, just go north to Newcastle, Liverpool or Manchester. Somewhere in a big city where he’d never notice you.’

  ‘And if he did? It’s a small world.’

  Dave shrugged. ‘When he became Ryan-’

  ‘What does ‘Ryan’ mean?’

  ‘It’s the name he’s used since breaking up with you. He created a different identity so he could forget his past and start again. Only Zen retained the memories, in order to fuel his quest for revenge. You must understand that Ben was head over heels in love with you, and I admit I don’t know all the circumstances, but when you slept with Geoff it broke his heart. Literally broke him. He could only go on by becoming a machine. That’s what Ryan is – a cold, selfish person incapable of emotion. A milder version of Zen. No one can hurt him, and anyone who takes advantage of him pays. To embark on his ‘operation’ against you, he needed to be untraceable and focused. Everything had to be channelled into revenge. Everything was Zen…’

  Jen closed her eyes. ‘He’s a sick fuck!’

  Dave glared at her. ‘You created him! You fucked his friend, and ever since I’ve had to look out for him and worry!’

  Jen shivered at the outburst. ‘Don’t you think I’ve paid for that? Don’t you think I regret it?’

  ‘Well don’t make out you’re the only casualty.’ Dave pointed his finger at her. ‘Ben died and you are to blame for that. You’re still alive. You’ve lost your father, but you still have a life and can start again. Ryan�
�s psychotic – he has no life!’

  ‘I have no sympathy. Not after all he’s done. How much suffering d’you think I should endure? Is it right I should die? If so, why did you save me?’

  ‘Of course you don’t deserve to die. But Ryan’s my best friend. He’s all I have and I’ve suffered – never knowing what he’s going to do, whether he’s going to mess up and be thrown inside!’

  Jen stared at him in disgust. ‘That’s why you did this. You prevented suicide and set up my ‘execution’ to save him - if I’d taken my own life, the manhunt would have intensified, and if I hadn’t and the torture had continued, his chances of being caught would have increased.’

  Dave nodded, crossed his legs as he sat, and folded his arms around them. ‘I have my own agenda too – I don’t want to lose someone I love. But I also have a sense of justice, Jenny. When I realised what was happening, I formulated a plan to stop it, and it’ll work if you let it.’

  ‘If you cared about justice you would have given him up. You still could.’

  ‘That’s not justice. He has no life. You do. You started this; it’s not fair you end it too. Zen hasn’t ended it either - he didn’t get what he wanted.’

  Jen glared at him. ‘Then I’ll give him up. I know his name and I know you’re protecting him. The police will find him.’

  ‘I’d rather die than give him up,’ Dave told her bluntly. ‘And doing that will expose you to him. Zen would rise again, and your loved ones and I would die…

  ‘This is the only way,’ he continued. ‘Take my word for it. Zen is dead because you are. While you cease to live, he does. As I said, Ryan has detached himself from the past. I’m the only person who has survived the transition. It’s possible he might recognise you if he merely passed you in the street, but unlikely. He won’t be looking out for you, won’t be suspecting that you might exist - you’ll just be a stranger to him. If he saw your name written somewhere, or read about your past, it might trigger a memory and unfold the truth, so you must change your identity. And you must never mention what’s happened to anyone. Word spreads and you can’t risk it reaching him. Basically, like he has, you need to start again. You still have people who care for you – it won’t be too difficult.’