Adventures of Youth & Shadows of the Past

by Nona Mae King

  "Her highness's guest," he answered in an exhausted tone. "Never before have I been so tried and tested as I have been with this ruffian."

  "Guest?"

  "The gentleman implied he was asked by her highness to remain here for an unknown amount of time," the Chancellor said. "I understand, highness, that she is young and inexperienced in matters of court, but how am I to prepare a place for her guests if I am not told in proper fashion?"

  Edgar smiled in understanding. "I do apologize, Chancellor. I shall see to it that she knows the pr--"

  The Chancellor looked horrified. "Oh no, highness. You must not tell her that I have complained. I have no wish for her to feel guilty."

  "Then what do you wish for me to do, Chancellor?"

  The Chancellor straightened. "Nothing needs to be done, highness. All is well."

  Edgar fought back a laugh. "I am glad to hear it. Now, where have you placed her highness's guest?"

  "In the west wing, although it was not I who placed him there. He has a certain independence about him, highness. He does that which he desires and will not hear a negative word about it."

  Edgar nodded. "Yes, that sounds very much like the Shadow we know and love." He rested a hand on the Chancellor's shoulder. "Get some rest, Chancellor. The castle will keep till morning."

  The Chancellor bowed and then made his way down the hall toward his own room. Edgar turned and headed for the west wing. It is indeed odd that he would choose to remain here after such a disaster as Terra described. I wonder what his intention is? With Shadow, however, there was never any way to tell. Edgar shook his head as his eyebrow lowered in a frown. Terra may have thought the subject closed, but Shadow apparently did not. Edgar would have bet his kingdom that the ninja decided to meet with her again in the morning. How he has changed.

  That change made him wonder at the torture being silently withstood.

  Edgar arrived at the only room available in the west wing and smiled at Interceptor who waited outside the door. "Good evening, old friend. Does your master wish time to himself?" Interceptor grumbled and adjusted his position as he raised his head, licking his chops and giving a long, deep yawn. "If you make your way to the kitchens, I believe you will find Cook more than willing to part with some choice bits of meat." Interceptor's ears perked forward and he sat up, licking his lips with more enthusiasm as he tilted his head at Edgar. "I do not jest, my friend. Go on. I will comfort your master."

  Interceptor stood, stretched quite thoroughly, and then lazily plodded toward the kitchens. Edgar watched him go with a smirk and a shake of his head. The beast was truly amazing, as well as the group's first clue that Relm was more to Shadow than what he'd alluded to. Interceptor had taken an instant liking to the child, as if he already developed a trusting relationship with her. Now, with Shadow's revelation to Terra, it was yet another piece to an intriguing puzzle.

  Edgar turned away, pausing a brief moment as he stared at the door. Finally, he took in a slow breath and made a move to knock.

  "Do not bother me."

  Edgar smirked, lowering his hand to his side. Typical of Shadow to know all and wait until the last moment to reveal it. "I wish to speak with you, my friend, much as you wished to speak to Terra. It will be no bother."

  Silence greeted his response, so he reached out and opened the door. Shadow stood on the far side of the room staring into the dying embers of the fire. His mask was gone and Edgar immediately noticed the resemblance. Uncanny. He closed the door behind him before speaking. "Misery hardens your face, my friend."

  "Misery. Misery is a close friend to me." Shadow's voice was void of inflection.

  Edgar gauged the ninja. "It seems that this close friend is no longer wanted." He moved deeper into the room and sat in the armchair across from the fireplace. "It is good to have you here, Shadow. Good to see you alive." Shadow said nothing. He simply gazed at the fire with a clenched jaw. "You, of course, realize that Terra will have confided in me your secret." Still he said nothing. "Your secret is safe, Shadow, unless you give either of us leave to speak of it."

  "I know."

  Edgar examined the cool composure on the ninja's face. "Terra described quite a heated debate between you. She was too emotionally exhausted to go into great detail, but enough was said. To find you still here is an intriguing twist. What is left to be said, Shadow? What has been said was done in such a way as to break her very heart." The cool expression wavered minutely. "She is certain that she's broken your spirit and heart more than it had already been. She is certain she has done more harm than good. To find you here. . . ." Edgar shrugged slightly. "To find you here makes me wonder, Shadow, if there is something you still wish her to do. Something you still hope she can accomplish."

  Shadow glanced to Edgar briefly, and then he returned his gaze to the fire. His jaw clenched furiously. Edgar watched his reaction, and his mind processed each emotion and veiled expression. "She cannot rescue you, Shadow, if you refuse to be rescued. She's performed many a miraculous feat, what with rescuing me from my own ignorance of happiness and companionship and Setzer from his stubborn pride. However, she cannot turn back time and allow you to relive and change your past life. You must own up to your decisions and move on from there."

  "I don't ask for a miracle," he said through clenched teeth. "I ask for her help. I ask for her support when I reveal myself to . . . when I reveal myself to my daughter."

  Edgar released a slow breath. "My respect for you has grown tremendously. Such a road I would not be so courageous to take, my friend."

  Shadow sneered and turned from the hearth, stalking to the far window with a growl. "Courage? I've been backed into a corner as a frightened animal. What other route is there for me to take in order to save my soul? This isn't courage. This is nothing but another form of cowardice!"

  "I disagree. Passionately. You are accepting your responsibility. You are opening yourself up to rejection and pain the like of which no one has ever known. Do you truly believe this to be cowardice, my friend? No. Do not allow your demons to lie to you in such a way. You are putting right a grievous wrong. You are offering a young girl the opportunity to know a father whom has always held her best interest close to his soul. Do not discount this courage."

  Shadow turned his face toward Edgar, and his eyes held a conflicting collage of emotion. "I'm afraid as I've never been before. To look into my daughter's eyes and see hatred or disgust . . . it is of this that I'm most afraid. Throughout this war against Kefka and the Empire I've continued to be haunted by her eyes and her voice. So like her mother's. To have her eyes despise me would be the one punishment I wouldn't survive."

  "You know that you cannot take this choice from her." The ninja turned away again and Edgar pressed onward. "It will be a difficult time, Shadow, but Terra and I are here to offer our strength." Edgar stood and made his way to the door before turning and examining Shadow's rigid form. "If you are here in the morning, my friend, Terra and I will accompany you to Thamasa. I know she will be pleased that there are no harsh feelings held by you. Good evening and sleep well."

  *

  Terra stared glumly down at her breakfast, picking at the salad greens with her golden fork in disinterest. Edgar watched her, a concerned expression dulling his handsome features. He reached for her hand and squeezed it gently, smiling at her when she raised her eyes to his.

  "Do not fret, sweet. Please."

  "I can't help it, Edgar. There had to be something I could have said that would have made him feel better."

  He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "You have done more than you know. Trust in what you do not know about him, soul light. Your words moved him to a decision."

  Her eyes twinkled with myriad of questions. "What do you mean?"

  "He has decided to tell her the truth, and I have offered him our companionship for the journey. I only wait, now, for him to make the final decision."

  "Final decision? What decision?"

  Edgar
touched her gently on the nose. "Whether he wishes to tell her in the company of friends or in the company of the tortured memories of a past he no longer wishes to hold so close."

  "Edgar? What did you do?"

  He smiled and changed his focus to his breakfast. "I continued from that delicate point you prepared."

  Terra was quiet for a moment before tightly squeezing his hand. She smiled and her eyes glistened. "Dear, sweet, wonderful Edgar."

  Edgar caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. "I am only wonderful because you believe it to be true, soul light."

  Terra's smile brightened her face. She looked down at her breakfast and pushed it away. Then she stood and pulled Edgar to his feet. "Edgar, I need to know if he's still here. Please?"

  He smiled and brought her hand to his lips. "Of course. Shall we?"

  She nodded enthusiastically and allowed him to lead her from the dining chamber and through the meandering hallways of the castle to the west wing. Interceptor was still outside the room. At Edgar and Terra's approach, he sat up and smiled at them.

  Terra released Edgar's hand and knelt down to stroke Interceptor behind the ears. "Good morning, Interceptor. Is your master still sleeping?" Interceptor pulled away from Terra's hand and shook his head. He then stretched and grumbled, announcing his displeasure at his master's sudden and mysterious change in attitude. "Did he sleep at all?" Interceptor shook his head again and repositioned himself beside the door, allowing them room enough to enter.

  "It seems the demons rage deeply."

  Terra worried her lower lip as she slowly straightened, reaching behind her to once again take hold of Edgar's hand. "I think I understand why. At least, I'm trying to."

  He gave a gentle squeeze and lightly knocked on the door. When there was no response, he twisted the knob and pushed it open. To both of their amazement, Shadow was again dressed in his full black garb. They stepped further into the room, confusion evident in their expression. "Why the mask, Shadow?"

  Shadow's expression was distant and hard. All too familiar. "I will not bombard her with the truth. I will offer her the choice of hearing. If she doesn't choose to have it revealed, then I won't." Terra rested a gentle hand on Edgar's shoulder, preventing any further questions. Shadow stood and moved noiselessly to the door, bidding Interceptor to his side with a simple gesture. "I am ready."

  Edgar and Terra both nodded.

  4: The Simple Lie

  They decided to take the long way to Thamasa.

  First, the group would need to proceed underground and travel east to the continent which held South Figaro. Upon their arrival there, they would charter the use of three chocobos that would take them to the port town of Nikeah to the north. From there, they would buy passage on the ferry that could hopefully be persuaded to take them to Thamasa--for an extra price of course. All in all, Edgar and Terra figured it would take at least a week. Hopefully, in that limited time Shadow would be inspired as to the best way to present his identity to Relm.

  The Chancellor wasn't thrilled with the prospect of once again losing control over the (not-so)-young king of Figaro, but he handled it well enough. The group's supplies were packed as the castle made its way underground, past the mysterious castle where Odin had been found, to resurface just outside the cave that had at one time led to South Figaro. The cave had since been sealed off by a landslide, so the group would need to proceed, instead, around the mountain range to South Figaro. Edgar and Terra bid the Chancellor good-bye, promised they would be careful, and then turned to follow Shadow who'd already began making his way toward the town.

  "Terra, do you think it wise for him to offer her the choice of hearing the truth about her father? Relm is young. She may opt against the telling because of myriad of reasons, anger being the greatest."

  Terra nodded and gripped Edgar's hand. "I know. I'm worried about that too, but it really should be her choice. I think she'll want to hear it, though. It's a gut feeling more than anything else, but I trust it."

  Edgar examined Shadow's tall and rigid frame as he walked several dozen feet ahead of them. "Terra, how does one confess such a secret to a young girl?" He glanced over at Terra's delicate features and caught her gaze. "I told Shadow that I would not be so courageous to do what he has planned. It was all I could do to confess my love to you." Terra flushed and lowered her gaze as Edgar continued. "How does someone such as Shadow confess a secret such as this to someone like Relm?"

  Terra shook her head. "I've no idea. I don't think Shadow does either. He didn't even know how to tell me. He just kind of unrolled it like a person would shake out an old carpet."

  "Do you believe Relm would be receptive if it was offered in such a way to her?"

  "Relm's so unique," Terra stated with a sigh, "that I don't think her own grandfather would know how she'd take something like this."

  "Speaking of grandfathers . . . do you think he realizes who Shadow is?"

  Terra looked over at Edgar with a small smile. "You're full of questions that I can't answer, Edgar."

  He returned her smile and brought her hand to his lips. "I apologize. My curiosity has run away with me, it seems. I will do better at curbing it."

  Terra moved in closer and wrapped her arm around his waist. He draped an arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "Please don't," she told him. "I like it when you ask me questions. It means you want my opinion."

  "Among other things, soul light."

  Terra giggled, glancing up at him with a flush and twinkling eyes. "Oh, Edgar. You always say the perfect things."

  He smiled down at her. "Do not set me too high on that pedestal, my little Esper angel. I'm terribly afraid of heights."

  She giggled again and kissed him twice.

  *

  They arrived in South Figaro in record time, chartered the required chocobos, and then promptly left town toward Nikeah. The group made it quite a ways toward the port town before making camp. Shadow set an incredible pace, but Edgar and Terra kept up without complaint. Their journey reminded them of their past adventures against Kefka and the Empire. An adventure that, while difficult and filled with heartache, held a great many tender memories of discovered friendships blossoming to love.

  As Terra and Edgar set up camp and Shadow disappeared into the darkness to see about dinner, Terra sent Edgar occasional glimpses. He noticed and, after he finished setting up the campfire, made his way to where she set up the tent. He offered his help and began tacking down the opposite corners.

  "What's troubling you, dearest?"

  She bit her lower lip as she tied off a corner. "Do you think you could disappear for a little bit after dinner?" She looked up before he could answer, stopping what she was doing to make her way to his side. "He needs to talk about something. Something that wouldn't be easy to say if you were here. I hate to ask . . . ."

  Edgar's tips tilted with a smile as he finished off the tent corner and stood to wrap his hands around her slim waist. He pulled her close and nuzzled his lips against her neck. "Afraid I may get jealous?"

  She pushed at him with a laugh. "Edgar, Shadow's not that far away."

  Edgar sighed with a mischievous twinkle and faked dejection. "Very well. I will turn the other way while you entertain this rogue ninja."

  She gave him a push. "Oh Edgar, stop it."

  He touched her lips briefly and then smiled. "I will make myself scarce, Terra. Do not worry on that. Perhaps I will have Interceptor take me for a walk."

  Terra returned his smile as she caressed his cheek. "Thank you. I don't know how long I'll need, so . . . an hour?"

  "I'm sure Interceptor will know when we are welcome back. Do not feel rushed. Besides, the time alone may do this man good. Too many months of perfection is liable to drive me insane."

  Terra laughed and turned to finish securing the tent. Shadow and Interceptor returned a few minutes later with dinner--a fistful of fish from a nearby stream--and set about cleaning them and setting them up on stakes
around the fire. Dinner was a silent meal, and Terra could feel the tension rise as they got closer to finishing. Edgar cast her a glance before cleaning up his meal, making a semi-believable excuse of needing to stretch his legs, and then asked Interceptor if he wanted to come along and keep him company. Interceptor hesitated, sent a glance to Shadow--who ignored him--and then sounded an annoyed growl before falling into step beside the king.

  Terra took in a slow breath as she set aside her plate. She didn't want to start this conversation, but some small part of her was sure that he wouldn't. "You want to talk about it?" It was the only thing she could think of that didn't make her sound like an idiot.

  "Talk about what?" Shadow asked in a dead voice.

  "Whatever you want. You don't need to do this by yourself." He said nothing and Terra looked over at him. Having his face covered with the shroud would make it difficult to know what he was going through, but she wasn't going to ask him to take it off. It had been his choice to wear it again--Her eyes widened in surprise. "Shadow, I had a sudden idea."

  His gaze actually traveled to her face. "What."

  "You don't need to tell Relm that Shadow is her father." His gaze didn't leave hers. "Hear me out. Do you believe that Shadow is Relm's father? Or do you believe that Clyde Arrowny is her father?"

  "The latter."

  "Right. To you, Shadow is a ninja with no emotion, no home, no family, and probably no friends." Shadow barely acquiesced the statement with a nod. "Clyde Arrowny left her to make things right, but then he was captured by the Empire."

  Shadow examined Terra's face for a long and silent moment. "You want me to lie to her?"

  "Where's the lie, Shadow? The minute you put your emotions and family behind you, Clyde became a captive. Now you've let him go. He can go home to his family and start over." Terra looked down at her hands. They were trembling. "I'm not saying this is right. I'm not saying this is wrong. I just believe that this is a possible way for you to get your family back." When she shifted her focus back to him, he simply stared at the leaping flames of the fire. "Relm is fascinated by you, Shadow, hard as you may find that to believe. I think it would be awful if you ruined that by telling her you're also her father. Besides, you don't even believe that. You believe Clyde was someone different. If Shadow disappeared, Relm would think that normal. After all, you've done it before. If her father shows up and explains that he was able to get free of Kefka's Tower after the end battle, it's the truth on a different level and she'd believe that, too. That way, she wouldn't lose your friendship. She'd gain her father."