Sinfully Supernatural

by Multiple

  “I suggest you give me some of your favorite reading material to bring to the other side for you. That way you’ll have what you like, while you are waiting.”

  “You must be joking.”

  “You don’t read?”

  Audray sighed. “I find it odd I would be reading a book while I’m waiting to be admitted to, to…”

  “The Underworld.”

  “Yes, exactly.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about it. I have a plan that will avoid unnecessary delays. But bring a book, just in case. Things have gotten a little busier in the three hundred years since I was admitted. But I still had to wait, and I did worry. I’m trying to save you any unnecessary pain.” Josh grinned.

  “You don’t use the H word.”

  “No, we don’t use that word.”

  “So I will be assigned a permanent guide, like you?”

  “Yes, well I will request that I be your guide. You will become a dark angel and sent back with me to the human world. It will probably take a couple of days, a week tops.”

  “What kind of a form will I be in?”

  “You’ll look and feel just as you do now. I’ll make sure you have all the things you like. Anything I don’t have, just request and it is yours. You just can’t go exploring around the place until everything is finalized. After the turning is complete, you will feel absolutely marvelous, perfect. All your senses will be heightened. You will be able to feel emotions in others. You will feel absolutely powerful, and alive like you’ve never felt before.”

  “So what do I do once I am in the human world? What happens to my body?”

  “Every case is different. In your case, you will just disappear, so you can come back later. Some get buried after their deaths. Those are ones that don’t come back.”

  “What?”

  “Well, it isn’t a perfect science. I mean, people get carried away. You think they are going to do it one day, and then, bang!” Josh had put his fingers to his head, and with a silly grin, continued, saying, “Love, let’s face it. If they are too much of a mess, regardless of what they’ve been promised, they can’t be used. They simply can’t be used anymore.” Josh wrinkled up his nose.

  Audray’s eyes went wide.

  “Look, my lovely, we want to preserve your beautiful body. I’m going to personally oversee the process. I’ll devote a whole day to it. You have nothing to fear. I have a perfect track record.”

  “Oh, Josh. I’m getting a very bad feeling about this. Isn’t there any other way?”

  “No.”

  “Where does my body go? How does it get to where it’s supposed to be?”

  “It’s a very complicated system. Hard to explain all of it right now. The Readers determine your manner of death and your state of mind at the very end.”

  “And then? After the Readers decide I am legit, what happens next?”

  “You will be released to my care. Our work begins.”

  “And what work is that?”

  “We promote the strength of the Underworld by claiming souls.”

  “You mean getting people to kill themselves?”

  “No, we get people to agree to give up their chance at life in the human world. Not everyone becomes a dark angel. They just have to want to give up, stop the pain. We help, or suggest to them a way to get out of their misery. Ever heard of Dr. Death? They even called him a dark angel.”

  “He was one of you?”

  “We have people in very high places, for obvious reasons. There is attrition, natural attrition.”

  “How so?”

  “Some people are not cut out for it. They end themselves. It happens, what can I say?”

  Audray had to chuckle at this. “I can’t imagine the loser who kills himself and then can’t make it as a dark angel and kills himself again. That’s just like science fiction movie stuff. That could give you guys a bad name.”

  “We don’t want that much publicity, trust me. Even Dr. Death was an experiment. Audray, most of what you will do is just experience the human world, but from a different perspective. You get to enjoy all the finer benefits without many of the side effects, that’s all. You’ll come to see our work as important, removing people from their pain. It isn’t as hard as it seems to cull the human population of its weak links.”

  “Is there a quota?”

  “It’s kept track of, but we don’t compare ourselves with others. That’s considered unhealthy competition. There is no announced winner.” He hesitated before going further. “But I have it on good authority, if there was a winner, it would be me.”

  “I would expect nothing less. So, what happens if you don’t keep turning people?”

  “You get disappeared.”

  “What is that?”

  “No one has come back to tell us. I think it is safe to say you best avoid it. Love, if you only turn one person a year, that is enough. It isn’t that hard to find someone who wants to be separated from their human form. You will see. They almost throw themselves at you.”

  “And my ‘afterlife’…”

  “Oh, that’s a good word for it.”

  “Okay, my afterlife is totally my own, as long as I keep turning souls, right? No one to tell me I have to go after this person or that, how long to take, where to live, travel, whom to chose as a lover, any of that dictated to me then?”

  “No one. I just want you to keep in touch with me. And that is only because I care about you.”

  “Please.”

  “I sincerely do. You don’t believe me?”

  She suspected there was a heart in the blackness somewhere. It probably made him more effective that way, she thought.

  The rest of the conversation went on the same vein. In the end, Audray begged for another day or two to think it over, and Josh told her no.

  “Here it is, the moment of truth. Will you do it?”

  With a sigh, she shrugged. “Yes?” It came out a question. Immediately she felt sick to her stomach. Josh promised she would not feel that way when she awakened in the Underworld. He encouraged her not to think about it too much and act right away.

  She went to bed that night, taking the entire bottle of prescription sleeping pills, along with a chaser of wine. Neal was out of town, so the timing was perfect. She left him a note telling him she was off to Tahiti with a new flame, a rediscovered friend. She had been bugging him to take her there, so he would believe it.

  As she was drifting off to sleep she wondered whether or not her artificial breasts would have to be removed by the entry team before gaining admittance. She sincerely hoped they would not. She had paid a heavy price for them in more ways than one.

  And then her last remaining thought as a human came to her in a delicious wave of expectation. She would finally get to deal with that bastard, Burt.

  On her terms.

  Chapter 30

  A line of ragged men stood outside the hall Josh had rented under the excuse of holding an AA meeting. Well, something like that, he thought. They could have all willed themselves inside, but they waited for Josh, who made a point to hold the keys high above his head, in case there were any non-angel onlookers in the neighborhood.

  The men shuffled in, the sounds of their mumbling and creaking of folding metal chairs deafened the heavy footsteps. Josh knew not everyone here wanted to be. Some of them didn’t even want to be dark angels. He knew he had to make some examples to save the rest. Get rid of the “bad apples,” although in this case, that meant the ones that were too good to be bad. He needed to exert control. Discipline had been lacking and their numbers were down.

  He stood at the podium in front of his audience of thirty or so men of various ages and sizes. The room was the fellowship hall for a small country church, in need of paint, and although swept clean, the vinyl tiled floor was scraped from years of shoe marks. A four-foot high stage with a fraying beige curtain took up one end of the room. A tiny kitchen was carved
out of the corner at the other end where the entrance was. Twelve step posters and religious sayings were scattered around the walls with masking tape and pushpins.

  Most of the men wore black, but a few had some promise as real dressers. One showed up in full biker gear, an older angel looking for a refresher course. Josh liked that boldness. The biker was different. Nice touch. He gave him a special nod and began his prepared speech.

  “Most of you know I abhor meetings. Same for lectures. But I have a unique opportunity here. We’re going to do a kind of student teaching assignment. I have prepared a scenario, and I want all of you to take a look at it and come up with a solution. The most creative solution will win a prize.”

  There was not a single reaction on the part of the audience. Josh thought perhaps his eyes were deceiving him. What a lackluster bunch of duds these are. Only a few were his own converts.

  This wasn’t going well. A couple of men who Josh didn’t recognize arrived late. Since they weren’t part of his quota, he vaporized them on the spot just inside the doorway. That did get everyone’s attention. One pair of boots remained lodged in the doorway, still standing to attention, but smoking.

  “And when I call a meeting, like the first one I have called in over two weeks, I expect you will show up and be on time! Got it?”

  There was a profuse nodding of heads, with more animated grumbling. Josh knew the paperwork in the Underworld as new recruits could halfway kill a new one. Otherwise, he noticed several of them might in time become fine dark angels.

  “Now for the bad news.” Josh smiled. How he loved the bad news. He rapped his fingers on top of the lectern, scanning the faces before him. Power surged through his veins.

  “Only two-thirds of you, that means about twenty or so, will pass this next test. The rest of you, well”—he pointed to the bits of smoldering black boot—“the rest of you will join your two buddies here.” He paced back and forth once in front of his class, then turned quickly. “Anyone want to just volunteer this morning, save me the trouble of the evaluation? Anyone know right now they are going to fail and just want to get it over with?” His eyes searched the crowd. Only the biker guy made eye contact. He heard someone whimper.

  “Who was that?” Josh brought his brows together and squinted his eyes. A couple of hands pointed to a younger dark angel, who apparently had peed in his pants.

  Instantly the two who had pointed were vaporized as well, causing the young dark to wail, sheer terror in his pathetic voice.

  “That was for telling on your own kind. We stick together or we die together. Do I make myself clear?”

  The room erupted in a series of “Yes sir’s” and verbal acknowledgements, including one who called out, “Whooya.”

  “Okay. Let me set it up for you.” Josh began his story. “There are lots of reasons to claim someone’s soul, not the least of which is that there is attrition.” He pointed to the still smoldering chairs on either side of the shivering young angel, who bolted for the back door. Josh sighed and looked down at his feet while the boy left the hall.

  “Excuse me,” Josh said as no one else moved or said a word. Through the open doorway he spotted the young angel crying and running, looking back in Josh’s direction. Just then, a pickup truck came along and hit him, sending him flying, lying in a heap of legs and arms twisted in all directions.

  They do look like a sack of bones.

  Josh left the lectern and walked out the hall and into the street. He stared at the truck driver, his red eyes blazing. The pickup sped off in a squeal of rubber and smoke.

  The young man was in pain, but of course could not be killed. Josh asked, “What’s your name, son?”

  “Felix.”

  “Felix? What kind of a fucking name is Felix? Didn’t they give you a new name?”

  The boy nodded.

  “I’m waiting,” Josh said impatiently. He was tapping his boot toe.

  “Beelzebub.”

  Josh reacted like he’d been hit. “Fucking assholes. Who’d you piss off down there?”

  The boy didn’t look up.

  “Who’s your sponsor?”

  “Peter.”

  “Okay, we’re gonna talk after this meeting.” Josh continued shaking his head. “Peter. Huh. What an asshole.” He roughly lifted the boy up by his arm, righting him as the boy’s limbs healed, solidifying quickly. Within seconds he was able to stand on his own. Sizing him up Josh asked, “He know you were coming up here to me?”

  “He requested it.”

  This Josh didn’t need. Not now. Not ever. This kid was either a spy or someone Peter wanted eliminated, Josh thought.

  He led the boy back into the classroom. Josh heard the chairs creaking again, like he wouldn’t know the dark angels had been glued to the windows to watch the boy’s demise. If he was going to control the situation, he would to have to show them how random his mercy was, just so they could never count on anything from him but chaos. That way he wasn’t categorized. That way they couldn’t figure out anything he did or why. Josh wanted total autonomy.

  “Maybe they didn’t tell you before you came to us, but in order to stay on the ‘winning’ side of the cut, you have to continue claiming souls. Occasionally you will find someone you think will go dark, and they pull out at the last minute. Any of you turn anyone yet?” Josh scanned the room. Biker dude had the only raised hand.

  “Okay. Lots of things can happen. But what really pisses me off is when a Guardian gets them in time and changes their mind. You’re going to have to learn how to get the Guardian taken care of. Anyone want to guess what we do?”

  The biker dude stood up, rocked his crotch back and forth, holding onto imaginary hips. Snickers and chuckles erupted in the room. Even Josh liked his style. Man of little words, all action. I like that. He made a note for later. This guy he could use.

  “Couldn’t have said it better myself. So, what does the Guardian want more than anything else?” The room was mum. The boy piped up.

  “To save someone’s life?”

  “Exactly,” Josh responded. “Good job, son. Maybe you’re going to work out after all. In most cases, I would say to just give up when you get one of these around. Not really worth all the trouble they cause you. But sometimes the angel is a great target. Sometimes she’s more vulnerable than she thinks. I got one of those for your first assignment, gents.”

  He gave out Daniel’s address.

  “As was so nicely pointed out, we want to seduce this little angel. I want you to be gentle with her at first. Then we’ll take the gloves off, okay? Now remember, we can’t force her—rape does not count. That will earn you vaporization. Any questions?”

  There were none, of course.

  “You boys are probably a bit out of practice. Hell, some of you probably never did treat women right. About time you learned.” He stopped and smiled from experience. “Nothing better than turning an angel. You do it once, you’ll be hooked.”

  He gave them a quick lesson in manners. With little else in the way of instruction, he adjourned the meeting.

  For the next few days, Claire had ardent suitors wherever she went. She had flowers delivered to her, was serenaded with singing telegrams, received special chocolates, fancy lingerie, and teddy bears. One creative guy shifted into a Fabio body and showed up at the door dressed as a Spartan. Josh knew none of these things would work. He was getting Daniel primed for one last push. None of these dark angels had the powers Josh had. They were strictly amateurs.

  Josh himself delivered yellow roses in person to Daniel’s door. “I hear she likes the flowers. Are my guys treating her nice?”

  “You’re wasting your time, Josh. Leave us alone.”

  “You can’t be serious. She doesn’t find any of my boys attractive?”

  “Of course not. And the flowers are giving her a headache.”

  “So, Daniel, still think I will give up? Can I come in and discuss it with you? You sti
ll haven’t given me a chance to tell you my side of the story. Why not hear me out?”

  “I think you will move on to better things. This has to be taking up an awful lot of your precious time.”

  “How much time do you have, my friend?” Josh got the door slammed in his face. He liked that he had hit a nerve. One of these times, he’d get the home run he was looking for.

  Chapter 31

  Angela looked up from her book, distracted by a sheet of rain hitting the bookstore’s picture window. The impact had such force the glass bowed, and for a second she thought it would. Her gaze focused on the people outside, and she noticed a man across the street battling his umbrella, which had turned inside out by the sudden gust. Next to him, a tall man in black leaned against the green metal signal standard, one bent knee crossed in front the other. His back was turned to her. He wore knee high black boots. His head dripped wet in the rain, his hair appearing darker than the light brown she knew it was. She would recognize him anywhere—James. The human man she loved wasn’t human anymore; he was a dark angel.

  Her pulse quickened. Though she was in a crowded bookstore, she felt utterly alone and vulnerable.

  There was a store exit around the corner and she chose to take it. Once out on the street, she turned in the opposite direction she’d spotted James, without looking for him. To summon transport all she had to do was mentally request it. That would have been safe. That would have been wise. Yet she kept walking in the rain.

  The back of her neck prickled with a current that slithered down her spine. Every day for the past two weeks she’d felt watched. Now that she saw him, she knew she’d been right.

  She’d recognized him by the position of his bent knee alone because she had seen him stand in that position on many occasions. How familiar she was with his long legs. And with the flat abdomen and its trail of dark brown hair leading deliciously below. She knew the sound of his heartbeat, as she’d she laid her head against his smooth warm chest and felt his arms around her for protection so many times. She had kissed the muscles that rippled under the surface of his bronzed skin while he was sleeping. Later, as their relationship progressed, she had done so while he was awake and could watch her. Her fingers had traced the dark nipples that became tighter with the delicate touch of her fingertips and tongue.