And she started to talk. "Joshua's last name was Holmes, too. Joshua Jacob Holmes. We decided when I was pregnant that we'd give all our boys his last name and all our girls my last name. We thought we'd have a huge brood–at least four. Being an only child, I grew up lonely, so I wanted a houseful." She huffed a sad laugh. "The world laughs at people making their puny plans."
Just like that, I realized how little we'd shared of our history. I felt like I knew her so well–I did know her so well–and yet I knew almost nothing of her life before me, as if she'd sprung new and fully formed into the world just to be mine.
She, too, talked for a long time. She shared memories about her life with Jon and Joshua and gave me a new insight into her deep devotion to the family she'd lost. She talked about her love for them. She cried, especially reminiscing about her brief–very brief–time as Joshua's mom.
And then she talked about losing him.
"The daycare called me and told me Joshua had fallen and been taken to the hospital. He was already gone when I got there, and they didn't want to let me in to see him. I screamed and shouted, though, and they let me in. The whole side of his head was caved in. He'd climbed up a harmless plastic playground thing, less than six feet tall. He fell off the top and landed 'just right'–that's how they said it, 'just right'–on a metal toy truck on the ground."
I grabbed her hand and held it. "Did you make the daycare pay?"
Dakota shook her head. "Why? Nothing would bring him back. The mistake the aide made is one that every person who cares for a child has made countless times. I probably made it daily. She was looking in another direction for a few seconds. A few seconds. That's all it takes for your life to turn to shit. No point in taking her down with me. Anyway, it was really my fault."
I was confused and looked at her with a furrowed brow, but I held my tongue.
"Here's the thing. Joshua didn't need to be at daycare that day. I was working hard at writing college applications then, which is why we had him signed up for daycare. But I didn't even plan to write that day. Jon was home sick after chemo, and I took Joshua to daycare to keep him out of my way while I took care of Jon. I didn't want him under my foot. And he never was again."
"Jesus, Dakota. You can't blame yourself for that!"
She smiled wryly at me. "Are you seriously sitting there and telling me that I can't feel guilty about something? Seriously? The Master of Guilt?"
I chuckled a little. "Okay, you have a point. But still..."
She interrupted. "I've come to terms with it. I have. Without the benefit of foresight, we have to make the best choices we can with the information we have. Any one of a whole slew of things could have shifted just slightly, and Joshua would have been safe. Or I could have kept him home and I might have been distracted helping Jon, and Joshua could've gotten hurt at home. The world laughs.
"But I know you understand that it's very hard to live with the knowledge that a choice you made put events like that in motion, even if you know you made the best choice you could.
"Jon didn't blame me. I think he blamed myself, if anything. For being sick. We never really recovered from losing Joshua. Jon never really recovered. He never had a hopeful test result afterwards. He stopped working. He stopped fighting to get better. He just slowly wasted away, the cancer metastasizing until I think he had more cancer cells than healthy ones. He'd been a pretty big, fit guy. Took care of myself, like I do. We met at a marathon, in fact. When he died, he was a husk. A husk who had forgotten his whole life. I guess there's some peace in not remembering that you had to bury your two-year-old son…
"Anyway, then I was alone. I sat in this house for weeks and stewed in impotent fury. And then I decided I needed to either kill myself or figure out a life for myself. No way I was going to take my stepmother's coward's way out, so I figured out a life."
She stopped and gave me a shy, sideways look. "So, that's my story."
I pulled her into my arms and just held her. Words weren't necessary. They really weren't.
I understood that normal people would have known all that about each other long before they committed themselves for eternity, but that's not how Dakota and I worked. Or, at least, it hadn't been. But she was right; we needed a new plan. Our love was powerful, but it was not invulnerable.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Dakota. I know what it's like to be without you, and I don't ever want to know what that feels like again." I pulled her against me and kissed her gently. Her mouth was full, and soft and warm. Just like her. I pulled away, only to nip lightly at her bottom lip. She gasped, and I chuckled.
“You think we’re gonna be okay, Jake?” she asked after she caught her breath from the kiss.
“Yeah.” I held her steady gaze.
“How do you know?”
Even though I didn't understand what had happened to my old life, the gang, Pops–I felt more in control of my thoughts and myself now. Talking with Dakota had helped me to understand why the gang was so important to me, despite everything. I thought that, with Dakota on my side, I was strong enough to leave it behind. With Dakota, I could do anything.
“Instinct, babe.” I left a trail of small, tender kisses up along her slender neck. I was guided by her breathy little moans as she brought her head back, allowing me more flesh to explore. I hadn't realized just how much I missed this. Just being with her, in the most basic sense of the word.
“So, Bad Boy… Where… are we headed?” she asked as I nibbled on her collarbone.
“I don’t know, Beauty.” I kissed her on the cheek, and then her lips. “Well, first I’m gonna make steamy, hot love to you like never before. You’re gonna be shaking for days. I’ve got a few new moves I wanna try out. You’re gonna be begging me to do it again.”
“Oh, am I really, stud?” she said, stroking her fingers up my inner thighs. “You’d better not disappoint then. It will just piss me off if you get me excited for nothing. And you don’twanna piss me off.”Her fingers pressed lightly against my swelling groin.
“I really don’t wanna piss you off.” I stroked the nape of her neck, touching my lips to her temple, tasting both salt and sweet. I kissed the dark slash of one eyebrow, the smooth curve of one cheek, exploring her all over, until it wasn’t the chill of the breeze causing her to shake. “I promise, babe… I’ll never… disappoint… you.”
“Oh, I know you won’t, Bad Boy…. But really, Jake… where are we… headed?” I leaned back so I could stare into her beautiful, healing eyes as I unbuttoned her top.
“Let’s head out on the open road. I’m ready to ride right out into the sunset with you.” I laid her down on the bench, placing my hand over her heart, pressing small kisses between her supple breasts before giving her a firm kiss on the lips–which was by no means the first or the last–that was long and full of promise. Then I whispered in her ear as she gasped for air, “We've got the whole world to discover. Always remember that, Beauty.”
Acknowledgments
Thank you to my amazing family and friends who have put up with my madness in the last few months of writing. You are the inspiration to work hard!
To Charlie, the most awesome friend in the world, for reading my story and loving every steamy chapter!
To all the beta readers for giving me their time and much needed opinions.
To Rebecca Done for editing all my silly mistakes and putting up with all my emails.
To Keira Williams for producing the perfect cover to represent my story and making Jake look as hot as I imagined!
And, a huge thank you to all my readers for purchasing my book and I really hope you loved every minute reading it as much as I loved writing it.
THANK YOU so much for supporting me and indie authors!
About the Author
Hey! I’m Scarlett and I’ve been writing since childhood. I wrote my first script, Kitty Rules, at age ten. When I’m not writing books, I spend my time looking after my cat, playing video games, wat
ching movies and reading awesome books. And, I love baking cookies for my friends and family! I love riding my bike, a black Ninja, on the open road. Maybe one day I’ll find my perfect bad boy to ride with…
I’d love to hear from you and if you have the time, I’d really appreciate reviews! They really do support indie authors in the big world of publishing.
I’m currently finishing another novel in the BAD BOY SERIES, so please keep an eye out for that story in the next month or so!
Connect with me:
Twitter: @ScarlettsBadBoy
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Scarlett-Dupree/555794914460868
Email: [email protected]
Happy reading!
Beauty and the Bad Boy Page 26