Reverse Cowgirl

by Chance Carter

  When she got to her room she was overcome with emotion. She’d been able to keep it together downstairs, but now that she was alone in her room, she realized that she’d come to rely on Grady and his presence in the hotel far more than she’d been willing to admit earlier.

  She had more than just a crush on him, and the fact that he was moving out was devastating. She’d miss him terribly, even though she’d hardly spent more than a few hours with him. She realized she’d grown accustomed to him, to knowing he was close by. She’d gone about her chores at the hotel with the thought in the back of her mind that maybe he’d notice what she’d done. Maybe he’d come across her and appreciate her hard work, admire her skill, maybe even admire her. She looked forward to the chores she had to do for him and constantly told herself, maybe her next chore would be to cook for him, or take care of Destiny for him.

  Without even getting to spend time with him, she’d been developing feelings for him. Strong feelings.

  And now he was leaving.

  She lay down on her bed and to her surprise, started to cry. She let the tears flow, and when they came to an end, she had a long, hot bath.

  She didn’t sneak into Betsy’s room that night. She realized she’d been holding out hope that something would develop between her and Grady. Something real. She’d been flirting with the idea of the two of them getting together. That was why she’d watched him, not because she was horny like Mrs. Hildegard, but because it felt like the beginning of a real relationship. Now she knew it wasn’t, and that knowledge made watching him too painful.

  CHAPTER 15

  GRADY

  Grady felt sad as he packed his bag and gathered his things to leave the hotel. He couldn’t say he’d liked staying there, but knowing he was leaving Autumn alone with the Hildegards didn’t sit right with him. He knew it wasn’t his business though, and he’d learned the hard way that he couldn’t just barge around doing whatever he thought needed to be done to save a woman.

  He’d tried that before. He’d tried it with Destiny’s mother. He’d taken her in. He’d helped her get clean and overcome her drug addiction. He looked after her throughout her pregnancy, even though the last thing he’d ever wanted was a child with her.

  He swore to stand by her and he did everything in his power to save her from herself.

  But it wasn’t enough. He woke up one morning to find out she’d been chatting with her drug dealer the entire time. She’d totally played him. She’d thought him weak and spineless for trying to help her.

  It still pained him to remember the words she said.

  He knew the situation wasn’t at all similar with Autumn, but the fact remained, she had her life to lead and she didn’t need his help living it. She was on a path of her own and the last thing she needed was some busybody stepping in and messing things up for her.

  Maybe if he’d learned that lesson sooner, Ravenna would still be alive. Sure, she’d have been a drug addict, but who was he to decide what was right for her?

  His only consolation, the only thing that reminded him that everything he’d tried to do for Ravenna hadn’t been in vain, was the fact that Destiny had been born healthy. Deep down, he knew that by interfering in Ravenna’s life, he’d saved the life of his daughter. He’d thought he failed, he’d thought Destiny had died in the car crash, but by some miracle she was alive.

  He held her close to his chest as he settled his bill and checked out of the hotel.

  “It was a real pleasure having you here, Mr. Cole.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Hildegard, you were very hospitable.”

  “I’d like to be a whole lot more hospitable to you,” she said with a sly wink.

  Grady gave her a smile.

  “You know what, Mrs. Hildegard? I know you’re saying that like it’s a joke, but don’t ever sell yourself short. You’re a beautiful woman and if I was closer to your age, and if you didn’t also happen to be married, I’d be more than happy to show you a thing or two.”

  Mrs. Hildegard’s jaw dropped and Grady smiled to himself as he turned and left. At first he’d been alarmed by Mrs. Hildegard’s behavior, and he still wasn’t happy about the way she seemed to want to boss Autumn around, but he knew in his heart that her only real crime was that she was lonely. What little he’d seen of Mr. Hildegard didn’t suggest he was a good husband to her. He mostly ignored her, and as far as Grady was concerned, if a man was going to take a woman and make her his wife, the very least he owed her was the attention she deserved. Mr. Hildegard didn’t give his wife that attention and she suffered for it.

  He didn’t blame her for coming on to him. He just thought it was sad that she had to do it that way. She deserved for a man to come on to her, for a man to woo her and sweep her off her feet. That wasn’t likely to happen as long as she was in her current marriage, but maybe one day she’d figure things out, either with her husband or with someone else.

  “Mr. Cole, you forgot your card,” she said, hurrying out the door behind him with his credit card.

  “Thank you, ma’am,” he said, and let his fingers graze her hand softly as he took it from her.

  She smiled and blushed, and he could see a prettiness in her face he hadn’t taken the time to notice before.

  “Please make sure you come back and visit us from time to time. Our door is always open.”

  He smiled and made his way to the car. He was sure he would return, if only to check in on Autumn and make sure they were treating her right.

  He paused when he reached his car and glanced up at the mansion, searching the windows on the third floor, trying to figure out which window was Autumn’s.

  And then he saw a lace curtain move.

  That was it. That was her.

  She was watching him leave.

  The thought warmed him. He was sad he hadn’t had a proper chance to say good bye to her, but he didn’t want her to think he was trying to take advantage. And he also sensed that if he showed her too much attention, Mrs. Hildegard would get jealous and take it out on her. He couldn’t put her in that position, especially when he didn’t even know if she had any feelings for him.

  No. It was best to leave quietly and let the pretty girl in the black dress have some peace.

  He’d created enough hardship for people before. His new motto was to find somewhere quiet, keep to himself, and do no harm to anyone.

  And that’s the thought he kept in his mind as he drove up to the cabin. He tried not to think of Autumn and the way she’d made him feel. He tried not to think about the fact that she was the first girl in over a year that had made his heart feel anything other than pain and disappointment. He tried not to think about the fact he’d been quietly falling in love with her presence, with her gentle personality and her modest demeanor.

  The best way to keep his mind from Autumn was to keep busy, and that’s what he did. He bought tools and supplies from the hardware store on the way out of town and when he reached the cabin he got straight to work, fixing the roof, repairing the siding, oiling the door hinges, making sure the windows opened and sealed correctly. By the time evening arrived, he’d given the cabin a thorough seeing to and made sure it was a safe, comfortable and cozy home for himself and his baby daughter.

  “What do you think, Destiny?” he said, playing with her on his lap. “You think we’re going to be okay here?”

  Destiny reached out and grabbed his lip, laughing when he made a funny noise.

  “I know, it’s going to be quiet, but I promise I’ll find you a nice school, you’ll have lots of friends, and this will be a good place for you to grow up and learn about the world. When you’re older we might have to rejoin civilization, but that’s not for a very long time.”

  He leaned close to her face and she looked up into his eyes. He’d never seen anything so perfect as her bright, sparkling eyes.

  How had something so pure and clean and new come from someone as messed up as Ravenna?

  That was a miracle that God alone h
ad the secret to. The secret of recreating innocence and purity every generation.

  “Thank you,” he whispered.

  It was a simple prayer but it summed up his feelings.

  He’d cleaned up the bathroom and made sure the plumbing worked, but there was an empty spot in the corner where a bathtub should have been and the cabin had no hot water, so he decided to bathe in the gushing stream that ran by the side of the house.

  He propped the baby up by the side of the stream and lowered himself into the icy water.

  “Geez, that’s cold,” he said to Destiny.

  Destiny watched in wrapt attention as he washed. When he got out he was naked but he doubted Destiny would object. He brought her into the cabin and left her lying on the bed alone for a few minutes as he cut a small pile of logs and stacked them up in the living room by the fireplace. It felt good to work naked, and the exercise soon warmed him.

  A little while later he had a nice fire going, a bottle of milk heating in a pot of water, and a steak from the supermarket grilling in the open flame.

  “This ain’t so bad, is it baby? You and me taking care of each other? We’ll be okay up here, won’t we?”

  Destiny fell asleep after her bottle and he ate his steak in silence, watching the flames of the fire. He put her into his bed and climbed in next to her, mentally noting that he needed to make her a crib of some sort the next day.

  CHAPTER 16

  AUTUMN

  The next few days were the most difficult for Autumn since leaving home. Every morning she woke with the knowledge that she was alone with the Hildegards. Every night she went to sleep knowing she was practically a prisoner in their strange castle. She went about her chores as diligently as possible, she kept to herself and tried to avoid the Hildegards when she could, she ate alone quietly in the kitchen, and she read.

  Reading was what kept her sane. She made her way through one book after the next on Mrs. Hildegard’s bookshelf and to her surprise, Mrs. Hildegard didn’t give her a hard time about it. For some reason she’d been nicer to her in the days since Grady had checked out.

  It was as if he’d left a warm feeling in her heart.

  There were no guests, something which wasn’t unusual for that time of year, and that meant Autumn had a lot of free time. She’d sit in her nook, her little fire crackling in the corner, and drink tea while she read. In the afternoons she walked into town hoping to see Grady but so far she hadn’t come across him. She’d have treated herself to a coffee or sundae at the diner but she didn’t have money, not a penny, and refused to ask the Hildegard’s for any.

  They were sending her mother what was needed for the medical bills and that was more than enough in her eyes. After all, that was the agreement they’d made. She wasn’t going to start asking them for a little extra just because she needed a diversion.

  Besides, there was plenty of good food and snacks in the staff kitchen at the hotel.

  She often thought of Grady and wondered how he was getting on in his new cabin with Destiny. She wanted to walk up to the cabin, it was only a mile or so further up the road and it would have been a simple enough walk, but she was too shy.

  What would she say when she got there?

  How would she explain the visit?

  Would he think she was silly?

  She could always say she was visiting Destiny, but her shyness still kept her from doing it. Besides, she told herself she was saving it. Just knowing his cabin was there, up the road, and that she could visit him eventually if she ever got too desperate, was enough to keep her going.

  A few times, she even decided she was going to visit him but when she got to the end of the driveway, she always turned downhill toward the town instead of up toward the cabin.

  She was sitting in her window nook pouring through yet another historical romance novel and sipping hot tea when a knock on her door brought her back to reality.

  “Autumn?”

  “Yes, Mistress?”

  “A package arrived.”

  Autumn leapt up and opened the door.

  “A package? For me?”

  Mrs. Hildegard handed her a brown cardboard box and stood there waiting, nosy to see who it was from. Autumn read the return address but it only had the details of the department store the package had been ordered from. An expensive department store.

  Autumn was confused. No one in her family shopped in a place like that and they never would have been able to spare the money to send her a gift. If her mother sent anything, it would have been hand-knitted or homemade, and she doubted even that was possible at the moment with the way her health was going.

  “Thank you,” she said to Mrs. Hildegard.

  “Aren’t you going to open it?”

  Autumn hesitated. She wanted to take it over to her bed and savor it, opening it in private.

  “Go on,” Mrs. Hildegard said.

  There was an insistence in her voice and Autumn knew she had no choice.

  “Yes, Mistress,” she said and pulled the tape that sealed the box.

  Inside, once she got through the packaging, was a pair of the most beautiful winter boots she’d ever seen. They were black, went a little higher than the ankle and had a small heel. They were of very fine Italian leather and lined with white fur. Autumn couldn’t believe it.

  “Did you buy me these?” she said to Mrs. Hildegard.

  Mrs. Hildegard was watching with great interest.

  “Of course not, idiot. I’ve got better things to be spending my money on.”

  Beneath the boots were numerous pairs of rich, wool socks, the most luxurious Autumn had ever felt. There must have been silk in the wool to make them so smooth.

  “Those are very fine,” Mrs. Hildegard said.

  Autumn rubbed the soft wool. “I’ll be very warm this winter.”

  “What’s that?” Mrs. Hildegard said, pointing at the next item in the box.

  Autumn pulled it out and her jaw dropped as she held it up. It was a fine coat, long and black, with soft lining and a stylish cut that flowed from the fur collar down to the hem at her knees.

  “Your family obviously isn’t as destitute as you made out,” Mrs. Hildegard said, admiring the coat. “I’d say this coat is worth over a thousand dollars.”

  Autumn believed it. She’d looked at coats like that in department stores before, although just for fun. She’d never in her wildest dreams imagined she’d ever be able to afford one.

  Next in the little box of goodies was a leather purse that went perfectly with the coat, some cashmere sweaters in various neutral tones, white and grey and tan. There were even a couple of dresses, just like the plain one she wore every day, but made by an expensive French designer and of vastly superior quality to what she was used to.

  “This doesn’t make any sense,” she said.

  “There’s a note,” Mrs. Hildegard said.

  Autumn was about to grab it but Mrs. Hildegard was too fast. She snatched it up and held it away when Autumn tried to grab it from her.

  “Please,” Autumn said.

  “I just want to see,” Mrs. Hildegard said, and tore open the envelope.

  It was a slightly impersonal note, typed neatly on a card that bore the logo of the department store.

  “Courtesy of Mr. Grady Cole. No more cold feet,” Mrs. Hildegard read, and as she read it, Autumn’s flash of joy was tempered by the look of complete anguish on Mrs. Hildegard’s face.

  “I thought,” Mrs. Hildegard stammered, “I thought …”.

  “You thought what?” Autumn said, confused.

  “I thought … I thought he wasn’t that interested in you.”

  Autumn suddenly realized, to her surprise, that Mrs. Hildegard was jealous. She looked down at the ground and said nothing, trying to dispel the tension in the air.

  Mrs. Hildegard stood there, ruminating. She was genuinely hurt. Autumn thought of apologizing for receiving the gift but realized that would only make the matter worse. It was best to
pretend she hadn’t noticed.

  “Make sure you clean all the toilets today,” Mrs. Hildegard said.

  “Yes, Mistress.”

  “And then come to our private quarters. I’m sure Mr. Hildegard will have some chores for you.”

  Autumn looked up at her. She had no doubt that was a punishment for being the one Grady had sent the gift to, but she didn’t show it.

  “Yes, Mistress.”

  Mrs. Hildegard left and Autumn shut her door. She took another minute to admire her gifts. She’d never received anything so nice and couldn’t believe that Grady had been thinking of her enough to order everything. He’d taken his time and really thought about what he was sending her. It was as if he’d wanted to make her feel cared for and looked after. She’d be very comfortable in the snow.

  Despite having to spend the next four hours cleaning all the bathrooms in the entire hotel, she had a smile on her face that wouldn’t wear off. It was only when she was finished and had to report the Mr. Hildegard that she began to feel a sense of foreboding. She’d done her best to steer clear of the old man, ever since his attempt to feel her up in the car. Now she was knocking on the door to his private quarters, her heart pounding in her chest, while she waited for a response.

  “Come in,” he said.

  Autumn opened the door and saw him sitting in an armchair, smoking a pipe.

  “Mistress said you might have some chores for me,” she said, standing in the doorway.

  “Come in, child, come in,” he said. “I don’t bite.”

  Slowly, she stepped into the room.

  “Shut the door and come in, girl.”

  She obeyed and walked over to him. He stood up and looked her over, taking his time to admire all the details of her appearance.

  “What would you like me to do?” she said.

  “Well, your Mistress told me that you’ve been falling short on some of your duties.”

  “Oh?” Autumn said, certain that the only reason she was there was Mrs. Hildegard’s jealousy.

  “Yes, and let me remind you, we take the performance of our employees very seriously here at the Raven’s Nest.”