Reluctantly Alpha (The Barrington Billionaires, Book 8)

by Ruth Cardello

  Connor wasn’t convinced it was that simple. There were plenty of women in the world who wouldn’t sleep with him, but that had never stopped his dick from working before.

  Still, the idea of sex with Angelina was enough to have his heart pounding and his face flushing. I would definitely fuck her.

  If she asked me to.

  I’m her boss now, I can’t ask her.

  Wait a minute. Why did I agree to this? Clay got lost in Australia looking for a bathroom in the Outback and I’m taking advice from him?

  I’ll probably never have sex again.

  Shit.

  Connor froze when he heard Kimmie’s voice rise in welcome. Angelina had arrived.

  His chest constricted.

  His stomach fluttered.

  He flexed his hands at his sides.

  Any moment Kimmie would announce Angelina’s arrival. He’d have to open the door to his office and choose which version of him to be. The Barringtons practically had Angelina and him walking down the aisle together.

  He just wanted to see her again. Work their way around his office, see where that led them. The possibilities were endless . . . boats, private jets . . . he’d heard helicopters held potential . . . although he did wonder what the pilot thought of that going on behind him. It probably required one of the larger aircrafts. Yeah. Definitely not one of the four seaters.

  There was a knock on his door. “Mr. Sutton, Miss Kroll is here.” Kimmie stuck her head in the door she had opened just enough to peek around. “Would you like to see her now or should I settle her into her office first?”

  He rolled his shoulders and took several deep breaths. Mrs. Tellier had told him to simply be himself. He would have considered that wise advice if he didn’t know his own track record with women. If all he wanted with Angelina was sex . . . then sure he could be whoever he wanted to be with her.

  But she was different.

  No other woman had left him tongue-tied and unsure.

  None had ever felt important enough to make him worried they’d like him.

  That had to mean something.

  Could it be that Angelina really was . . . the one?

  He swayed on his feet at the thought and his hands clenched. If so, everything I say is important. This is a day we’ll tell our kids about.

  Kids.

  He swayed again. I want kids. Me. Holy shit. When did that happen?

  Kimmie gave him an odd look and said loudly, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were on the phone. I’ll take her to her office first.”

  He nodded because that’s all he was capable of in that moment.

  She closed the door.

  He went to his desk, sat down behind it, and laid his hands flat on its surface. Angelina was a refined woman. Intelligent. Responsible. She wouldn’t be impressed by his greasy jean-wearing, off-road driving, water-tower-climbing old self. That wasn’t the Connor she’d met. It wasn’t the one she’d agreed to work for.

  My family doesn’t even want that Connor anymore.

  His phone rang again with a call from New York’s mayor. He wanted to discuss the park Connor was proposing and what the city could and couldn’t do. The old Connor would have been excited by the call and shown it. That wasn’t how to win in the city, though. Connor played it cool, let the mayor talk himself out, gave him enough time to second-guess his proposal . . . and won more concessions from him without even asking for them. Bradford was right about intelligent people. In response to sustained silence they often talked themselves right out of sounding smart.

  When the call ended, he sent a message out to his team so they could act on the mayor’s concessions before he changed his mind. He also called the legal department to get everything sewn up for the purchase of the building. Clay’s signature was the one required, but the legwork was done, and if the team’s enthusiastic response was any indication—Connor had negotiated good deals.

  He leaned back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head. New Connor wasn’t a bad thing. He was hard-working, socially responsible, and effective. Rocking forward again, Connor flipped through the top script on his desk. His agent said his name was gold right now. He could name his price if he accepted any of these roles. Grant promised to take whatever amount Connor made and grow it into a fortune.

  All he had to do was not be himself.

  Old Connor would have already been at Angelina’s desk, sitting on the corner of it, making her laugh with stories of ridiculous situations he’d found himself in over the years. He wouldn’t have felt the need to conceal how he felt. Women liked him.

  Or they used to.

  Back when I liked myself.

  Despite how much he’d anticipated Angelina’s reappearance in his life, he chose to stay in his office rather than seek her out. New Connor couldn’t bound into rooms. Even if he wanted to, he didn’t have the luxury of time to flirt inappropriately with his newest employee. There were too many emails to answer, too many people counting on him, a pile of scripts to read.

  Angelina would just have to wait.

  Late in the afternoon, Angelina gathered her purse from the side drawer in her desk, stood, and hesitated. Overall, it had been a great first day. It had consisted of introductions to the various departments and her support role for each. She felt welcomed and needed. Her office was one door down from Mrs. Tellier and Kimmie’s and their perma-smiles. Mrs. Tellier repeatedly gushed over how much she was enjoying her new job and she wasn’t alone. Almost everyone Angelina met that day was a walking commercial for Connor Sutton. He was amazing to work for, an invigorating asset to the program’s growth, and someone who got along as easily with wounded veterans as he did politicians and the press.

  Kimmie said he was the kind of person people would walk through fire for.

  Angelina hadn’t expected Connor to be so well liked.

  It made her question if she’d allowed the stress of her old job to taint her impression of him. There had definitely been an attraction there, but she was having difficulty reconciling the arrogant, closed-off man she’d met with the one everyone else seemed to know. Although, as she thought back, she had glimpsed another side of him . . . when he’d spoken to the soccer team. Was that the real him? The side everyone else saw in him?

  It felt wrong to leave the office without even thanking him for the job.

  That’s not the only reason I’m having trouble leaving.

  Angelina had spent so much time worrying about how she’d handle any advances from him that she hadn’t considered how disappointed she would be if he didn’t seek her out. She checked the clock. She had a little time before she picked Whitney up from his after-school enrichment program. I should just stop by Connor’s office, thank him, and go.

  “Miss Kroll.”

  Angelina spun around at the sound of Connor’s voice. There he was, filling the doorway of her office, and so damn good-looking her jaw dropped a little. He didn’t smile so she held her own back. “Mr. Sutton.” It was all she said because it was all that came to mind. She’d convinced herself that she’d imagined how good it felt just to be near him. Her body hummed for him like it was already his for the taking. She swallowed hard and gripped her purse at her side.

  “How was your first day?” It was an innocent question, yet the way his gaze raked over her was anything but. Her skin warmed as if in response to his caress.

  “It was wonderful.” Even to herself her voice sounded husky and strangled. What is wrong with me? This is a good job. Whitney seemed happy enough with his school choice. I have my life back on track. Having sex with him would put all of that at risk again.

  And why am I imagining sex with a man who isn’t even flirting with me?

  I’ve worked way too hard to make a good life for Whitney and me to start making irresponsible decisions again just because he has the kind of lips a woman wants to feel run over every inch of her body.

  He’s so big. So strong.

  What would it be like
to be taken by a man who could lift me with ease?

  “Good,” he said abruptly. “Have a good night.”

  Just as he was turning away, Angelina said, “Wait.”

  He stopped and turned back.

  “Thank you for this opportunity.” God, she sounded lame.

  He nodded. “I heard your son started at a new school today as well.”

  “He did.”

  “Which one?”

  “Binston Preparatory. It’s affiliated with Columbia University.”

  “Impressive. You must be proud of him.”

  “I am. He’s brilliant.”

  His expression softened. “That’s not surprising.”

  She blushed. Of all the things she could have responded with, she had no idea why she said, “Every parent worries if they’re doing the best for their child. Sometimes I feel like I am. Sometimes I’m not so sure. He signed up for computer coding after school, but he chose the Binston because of their soccer team.” Connor didn’t say anything, just looked back at her as if waiting for more. She added, “I’m afraid he’s choosing what he thinks I want him to do rather than what will make him happy.”

  Connor studied her face then stepped closer. “He’s lucky to have a mother like you.”

  “That’s nice of you to say.” Angelina licked her bottom lip. Sorry, Whitney, you’re the last thing I’m thinking about right now.

  He came to a stop just a foot before her. The air sizzled between them. He opened his mouth as if about to say something. Or possibly kiss her.

  Angelina leaned closer, ready for either.

  Kimmie’s voice had them both jumping back a little. “Mr. Sutton, I wanted to remind you about the thing you have scheduled for tomorrow. Claire said she has a conflicting appointment so she can’t make it. Have you considered taking Miss Kroll? Might be a good way for her to get out there and start making connections.”

  “When I want suggestions from you, Miss Sanchez, I’ll ask for them,” Connor said, his expression closing off. Without saying more, he spun on his heel, strode past his secretary, and disappeared down the hall.

  “Well that was clear enough,” Angelina said. And a bit of a kick in the pants.

  Kimmie didn’t look put off. In fact, she was smiling, which absolutely made no sense. She stepped into Angelina’s office and lowered her voice. “He’s so sensitive when it comes to you. At least he came by to say hello.”

  Sensitive? Connor Sutton? Am I missing something? “He was just checking on how my first day went.” A thought came to her and she had to ask, “What kind of ‘thing’ does he have tomorrow?”

  Kimmie rolled her eyes in a full circle before answering. “Now I’m not so sure I should say. My problem is I spend so much time creating situations for my characters to fall in love that I can’t help but want to nudge the two of you together. Now that I think about it, though, I can see why tomorrow might not work in reality. Even for a romance it might be a little over the top.” She tapped her chin. “Or really hot. I just changed my mind. I’m definitely writing that scene into my next book.”

  “You’re an author?”

  “Sure am. I almost gave up on the dream, but then I met Mr. Sutton, and he convinced me that dreams are worth following. I’m writing a three-book series. When I finish the last one I’m going to put them up for sale and dedicate them to my husband and Connor Sutton. Without both of them I wouldn’t have finished the first and I’m halfway done the last one. They’re going to kick off a whole new career for me, I just know it. Mrs. Tellier is spicing up the sex scenes. Wow, that woman knows her stuff.”

  Following her instincts, Angelina excused herself and headed over to Connor’s office. His door was closed. Some might have taken that as a no, but Angelina’s curiosity outweighed everything else in that moment. “Mr. Sutton?”

  “Come in.”

  She pushed the door open and stepped through it. He didn’t turn to greet her, instead simply continued to look out the window beside his desk. It wasn’t until she was standing in his office that she realized she didn’t have anything to say. All she knew was that she didn’t want her first day to end with him walking away. “I just wanted to say thank you again. This is the perfect job for me, and I’m grateful to have it.”

  He folded his arms across his chest and turned toward her. “It’s a photo shoot tomorrow.”

  “Oh.”

  “A calendar for local animal rescues. Me in swim trunks, themed to each season. Hopefully without having to explain why I won’t wear a speedo. Probably hours of me holding puppies and kittens while pretending I’m actually on a beach or anywhere they think I’d be in a bathing suit with a cat. I figured I’d spare you that.”

  The images that rocked through Angelina made it near impossible to breathe. “It doesn’t sound like something I’d mind.”

  His brows come together briefly, and she could have sworn there was a spark of humor in his eyes. She decided she must have imagined it, though, when he frowned. “It’s for a good cause. I’ll have to pretend I’m enjoying myself.”

  And I’ll have to pretend I’m not.

  It was difficult to think clearly while his attention was focused so intently on her. She swallowed hard and clasped her hands in front of her. Connor Sutton was a complicated man. If he was the sensitive, caring man his employees said he was . . . the one she thought she’d glimpsed during his visit to the school . . . then why did he also seem defensive and closed off? As soon as she thought of a possibility, she blurted it out. “Are you worried what I’ll think of you?”

  Her question hung in the air between them.

  He didn’t deny it nor did he give any indication that her guess was correct. He just continued to look at her with those incredible eyes of his until she nearly forgot she’d asked a question at all.

  Once the silence dragged on to an uncomfortable length, she cleared her throat and began to backpedal. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. Of course you don’t care what I’d think. You hardly know me.”

  His frown deepened. “What are you looking for, Angelina Kroll?”

  In that moment? With the job? In her bed? She wasn’t sure, but she answered as honestly as she could. “I thought I knew, but I’m not so sure I do anymore.”

  He dropped his arms and stepped closer. In a tone close to a growl, he said, “I’m not the man you think I am.”

  Her lips parted and her breathing quickened. “That would be a relief because my first impression of you wasn’t that good.”

  There it was, that light of humor in his eyes again. He stepped even closer. “I’m who I need to be, not who I want to be.”

  Lord, he smelled as good as he looked. He was so tall that she had to crane her neck back to look at him, and broad chested enough that she would have just as happily closed her eyes and wrapped herself around his middle. Even in a suit, the definition of his pecks made her want to run her hands up his flat stomach and over them. She was too levelheaded, though, to let herself do it. “Are any of us who we wish we were? In my mind I’m a hell of lot more exciting than I’d ever allow myself to actually be.”

  A smile curled one side of his mouth and desire shone in his eyes. “I’d test your resolve, but that would be irresponsible and I’m not that anymore.”

  There was a sexual sincerity in his words that struck a chord in her. Just above a whisper, she said, “I’m not either.”

  He traced the line of her cheek gently. “Things were a lot easier when I didn’t think about how my actions would affect anyone else.”

  “Yes.” She understood that feeling so well. “My son is and has to remain my first priority. I need this job more than I need . . .” She didn’t finish her sentence, sure he’d understand.

  “Your job here is secure. You shouldn’t come to the photo shoot, but if you want to, be here by nine.”

  Before she had a chance to respond, her phone beeped to remind her it was time to get Whitney. “I should go. I can’t be late for
pickup on the first day.”

  His smile widened. “Then go.”

  Damn, it was hard to when he looked at her with promise in his eyes. Ever since Whitney’s biological father had signed off on his rights to him, relieved to not be part of the journey, Angelina had found it easy to say no to men. She couldn’t explain why it was different with Connor.

  It simply was.

  She forced herself to turn and start walking away. At the door, she stopped and looked back at him. She opened her mouth to wish him luck on his photo shoot. He was right—she shouldn’t go to the photo shoot. The responsible thing to do would be to hide in her office and kick ass at her job.

  I shouldn’t go, but I really want to.

  She left without saying what she’d decided, because she really didn’t know what she’d do.

  Chapter Ten

  “Look this way,” the woman behind the camera said. “Try to relax. We’ll get a few shots of you alone then we’ll bring out a puppy.”

  Connor turned his head toward the photographer and tried to take her advice, but she wasn’t the reason he was tense. Thoughts of Angelina were distracting him. The way she sought him out the day before, leaned in, licked her lips. She wanted him.

  So, where was she?

  Why wasn’t he exchanging secret smiles with her between poses?

  What was he doing wrong?

  “Strong eyes are powerful, but the mood of the calendar is more playful. You’re a gentle giant. Confident. Imagine you’re at your girlfriend’s house, she has the most adorable kitten, you pick it up, cuddle it, then she walks in. Make me believe I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. Look at the camera and see the woman you want more than you’ve ever wanted anyone.”

  Great, she wants me to think about Angelina more? How will that put me in a better mood?

  “I like your posture. And you look amazing. Try shaking out your arms. See if you can release some of that tension.”

  He did as he was asked but only grew more irritated. I used to have a swagger women found irresistible. All I had to do was nod toward the bedroom and their clothing started to fly. I can’t even get Angelina to watch me take off mine.