by Liz Maccie
“No. Why?”
“Oh, shit…” I meekly said. I was devastated. I just obliterated my chances at making new friends. Annie was going to hate me. Absolutely hate me.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked.
I had to tell her the truth, just rip it off like a Band-Aid. “I did something, something kind of bad, after you left lunch.”
Annie waited for me to finish.
“I didn’t know he was your brother.” I averted her stare out of complete and total shame for my actions. “He was just saying some really mean things and I…I told him to get a life and then I spit on his face.” I braced myself for Annie’s response.
First her mouth dropped open, and then absolute shock filled her eyes.
“I didn’t know he was your brother,” I said again. “I swear.”
“Let me get this straight. You told my brother to get a life?”
“Yes.”
“And then you spit on his face?”
I nodded.
Annie looked directly into my eyes. “You have no idea how much…”
There was absolutely no defending myself against this one. Whatever Annie was about to say, I deserved every word of it. I mean, you can hate your own family, but when someone else messes with them, all bets are off.
“How much I freakin’ worship the ground you walk on right now! Roberta, I hate my brother. I mean, I loathe him. He’s an arrogant, obnoxious, self-righteous jerk. And that’s describing his good qualities.”
Annie’s description did seem rather accurate.
“Did you see that perfect blonde chick we just passed in the stairwell?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, she’s his girlfriend, and I hate her, too. She’s a bitch. Abbey-the-bitch and Zachary-the-douche.”
“Unreal,” I said. “I just never would have thought the two of you were related. You’re so…different.”
“Yeah, well, according to my mother, he received all the good genes in the family.”
The second bell rang. We waited for a couple of kids to walk in before us and then we headed in.
“Are you sure you’re not angry?” I genuinely asked.
“No way. Roberta, my family’s so royally f’d-up. Thank God we’re rich; it’s our only saving grace. I can’t wait till they all die one day. Then, hopefully, I’ll inherit our house and the first thing I’ll do is burn it to the ground.”
I had never in my life met anyone who hated their family as much as Annie seemed to hate hers. “At least you have a plan,” is all I could offer.
“You live and you learn. Where do you want to sit?”
I pointed to the back of the room. We plopped down at a black two-seater lab desk. There was a small sink in the middle. I turned it on and sure enough, water spilled out from the spout.
A burning question came to my mind. I leaned in so only Annie could hear. “When did your mom sleep with Mr. Riveria?”
“At the M.A.M. fundraiser,” she whispered back. “Over at the Short Hills Country Club.”
“What’s M.A.M.?”
“Moms Against Mercury. It’s very political. Mr. Riveria was a guest speaker. She forced me to go and after some delightful cucumber finger sandwiches, I found her fixing her hair and he was buttoning up his shirt.”
“Whoa. That’s like…whoa.”
“Tell me about it. They were coming out of the handicap bathroom.”
I leaned back in my seat as our teacher, Mrs. Martel, asked for everyone’s attention. I was absolutely bewildered that Annie’s family was seemingly more messed up than my own. I kept fading in and out of what Mrs. Martel was saying about the upcoming semester.
At one point, I looked over at Annie and saw that she was drawing a picture of a bear with an erect penis. It made me laugh, and Annie flashed a devilish grin. Then she drew a small bunny underneath the giant erection and made a voice bubble coming out of the bunny’s mouth that said: Please save me! Save me!
Annie was truly one of the oddest people I had ever met.
She finished the picture off by adding an arrow through the bunny’s heart.
After class, we headed back down the stairwell to the first floor. Mervin, with his glasses propped on top of his head, ran over to us holding a limp plastic yellow flower. “Hey guys, look what I just pulled out of someone’s ear!”
“Cool,” I said.
“Great, Mervin. You’re a freakin’ miracle. Okay, time’s up. Are you guys coming or not?” Annie asked. “I need to know.”
“Coming where?” Mervin said as he placed the flower in his pocket.
“The reservoir.”
Mervin pushed his glasses back down over his eyes. “You’re still on that thing?”
“It’s not a thing, Mervin. It’s real and I’m going.”
“No, you’re not,” Mervin said.
Annie calmly crossed her arms. “Yes. I am.”
I decided to interrupt. “Why do you want to do this again?”
“I told you guys, I want to see where Warren died.”
“No, I get that, but I guess I don’t understand why?” After my cousin John died, his dad wound up selling their house. I have to admit, there was a piece of me that wanted to go into that garage one last time, to see where he died. Maybe I thought I’d find some kind of answer.
“Well, why?” Mervin pressed. “This makes no sense.”
It was clear Annie was getting frustrated. “I want to do something special.”
“Can’t we go get ice cream or pizza? That’s special,” Mervin said.
Kids hustled to their next classes, swarming all around.
“No, Mervin! I mean, come on, haven’t you ever wanted to do something that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense?”
“No,” Mervin said, shaking his head. “I never want to do anything that doesn’t make sense.”
“Fine. Forget it! I’ll do it on my own, just like everything else.”
“I want to go,” I blurted out, surprising both them and me.
Annie turned to me, her entire face lit up. “You do?”
I nodded, getting more excited with each second. Like Annie was saying, I don’t know why, but it just felt right to say yes. And to be honest, I wasn’t used to kids my own age inviting me along to do much of anything. So, for me, this did feel really special.
Annie linked her arm around mine. And in that moment, it felt like we had been girlfriends forever.
“Oh, great! So now, what? I’m the loser?” Mervin asked.
Annie knew she had him. “Well, Mervin, if it acts like a loser and talks like a loser, then, well, I guess it’s a—”
“But I don’t think this is wise,” he yelped.
“In or out?” Annie snapped.
Mervin let out a loud, irritated sigh. “All right, fine! I’m in, but I swear to God, if absolutely anything weird happens, like I see Warren’s ghost, I will never forgive you.”
Annie reached over and squeezed Mervin’s cheek. “I’ll take my chances.”
The Plan
1:17 p.m.
Mervin, Annie, and I briskly walked down the hall toward our next classes.
“Okay, so we need a plan,” Annie said with excitement.
Mervin’s face was a little green, exactly the same shade he was right before he fainted in gym.
“I just want to go on record of saying I am not happy about this,” he said.
Annie totally ignored him. “Right after school, we walk across the street to the mall.”
I shook my head. “But I don’t have any money.”
“Don’t worry about it. I have my own platinum card from American Express. It’s got, like, no limit. We’ll buy the raft and some provisions.”
“What kind of provisions?” Mervin asked, finally getting interested.
“Maybe some soft pretzels from Pretzel World or a couple of hot dogs from Nathan’s.”
“Well, I do enjoy pretzels—”
“Oh, no…” I stopped walking. “I comple
tely forgot I can’t go today. I have detention.”
“For spitting on your brother’s face.” Mervin fiddled with his book bag straps and turned to me. “I didn’t want to tell you he was Annie’s brother and make you feel any worse—”
“Oh, who cares about him,” Annie said.
The spitting incident wasn’t even the real reason why I had detention, but I didn’t want to explain the Getting my period and missing English or the Special Needs Bus Pass incidents, so I let them both think what they wanted to think.
“Whatever, I just can’t go,” I said.
“Hold on one second. Mr. Wizard is the detention monitor,” Annie said.
“Okay?” I had no idea where she was going with this one.
A big smile spread across her face. “Well, I happen to know for a fact that he falls asleep during detention each and every time. I’ve heard my brother say that he and his friends sneak out to smoke pot when Wizard is monitoring because he always falls asleep.”
“Really?” Mervin said. “That’s scandalous.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked.
“When he falls asleep, you sneak out. You won’t get in trouble because he’ll be too embarrassed to admit that he was even asleep in the first place!”
The bell rang, and any kids lingering in the hall hustled off to their next classes.
“Trust me, this is the perfect plan! Let’s all meet up at our lockers after the last bell and then Roberta, you go to detention, and Mervin and I will miss our bus and walk across the street to the mall. When Mr. Wizard falls asleep, you’ll sneak out. It’s foolproof.”
“You guys, I don’t know…” I said hesitantly.
Annie got very serious and put both her hands on my shoulders, looking directly at me. There was something almost desperate in her eyes that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
“Please,” she said. “This means a lot to me.”
Even though I had only known Annie for approximately four hours, the fact that it mattered so much to her, oddly enough, made it matter to me.
And against all my better judgment, I said, “Okay.”
Chorus
1:24 p.m.
I quickly ran into the choral room, but noticed that the teacher wasn’t even there yet. The room was set up in risers, almost like bleachers at a stadium, but on a much smaller scale. I moved to the back, back, back row, hoping I would go completely unnoticed.
Brightly colored pictures of music notes, music scales, and music notes on music scales hung from the ceiling. There was also a hanging collage of red, blue, and green turtles singing to each other. I narrowed in on the turtles. They looked utterly overcome with joy and entirely satisfied with their lot in life.
A big kid, wearing extra-tight khakis and a red Polo shirt, sat down next to me. He smelled like beef and dried sweat. I slid all the way to the edge of my seat, trying to put some distance between me and Mr. Smelly Tight Pants. I looked across the room to see if there were any other open seats in the back row when Thaddeus walked in. He smiled when he saw me, and my stomach did a thousand somersaults.
Thaddeus made his way up to the back, back, back row, just like me, but on the opposite side. He sat down and stared at me. And I stared back. Using his eyes, he gestured toward the big kid and gave me a thumbs-up sign. He smiled and tucked his blond, chunky bangs behind his ear.
As I looked at him, a panic filled me as I wondered if he could tell that I used to be the girl that ate lunch alone. If he somehow knew that I had always been the ugly one, the loser, the freak, the nobody. I would give anything to erase who I used to be. Anything.
Mr. Fredericks finally waltzed into the room humming, snapping me out of my daydream. He was an average-size man with droopy eyes, and his brown hair was short and spiky, like a porcupine. He had on navy blue slacks, a forest green button-down, and a lime green tie, which was covered in mini music notes on mini music scales just like the collages hanging from the ceiling. He was the type of guy that looked like he might still live at home with his mother.
“There is a castle on a cloud…I like to go there in my sleep…” he sang. “Everyone repeat after me…There is a castle on a cloud…”
Mr. Fredericks’s voice was rather nasally. I mean for a choral teacher, he didn’t sound all that hot. A couple of kids tried to utter a few notes back, but most of us just stared at him in complete and utter disgust.
“Okay. Let’s try that one more time, shall we? There is a castle on a cloud…”
The big kid sitting next to me decided this was the most appropriate time to let out a repulsive belch. Of course, everyone started laughing. Everyone except Mr. Fredericks. His face got bright red, and it was obvious that this one grotesque belch shook him to his very core. I was anxious to see what would happen next. Partaking in the excitement of drama was fantastic, especially when I had absolutely nothing to do with it.
Mr. Fredericks took a deep breath. Then, from the other side of the room, another kid let out an equally disgusting belch. Wow, game on! I guess something that was truly undeniable, be it a rich school or a not-so-rich school, was the resounding fact that if a teacher gives even so much as one inkling of vulnerability, teenagers will seize the moment and attack like a pack of wolves.
Mr. Fredericks cleared his throat. One more kid toward the front of the room let another one rip! This was just too good to be true. And to think I didn’t even want to come to chorus.
“All right now. Everybody just stop those vile noises immediately,” Mr. Fredericks said shakily.
No such luck. The big kid next to me, who started the whole thing, belched again. Fantastic! Mr. Fredericks whipped his head toward the back, back, back row, where the big kid and I were sitting. “Do you think this is funny?”
I looked at the big kid. He was blankly staring forward.
“I said, young lady, do you think this is funny?”
I turned forward to look at Mr. Fredericks.
“Yes, you!” He pointed right at me.
“I…well, I—”
“Interesting, you had plenty to express just a moment ago and now you have nothing to say? Come down here,” he snapped.
“But I didn’t do anything! It was him!” Not proud of being a rat, but clearly in survival mode, I pointed to the big kid, who then looked absolutely shocked at my accusation.
“Are you questioning my ability to locate the origin of sound, Miss…Miss…what is your name?”
“Roberta,” I said sheepishly.
“Well, Miss Roberta, we are all waiting on you. Or would you rather get a detention?”
Another detention? The events of this day seemed intolerably cruel. Not sure what else to do, I got up. On my way down to the front of the room, I heard the big kid snicker. I made a silent vow to seek revenge.
“Miss Roberta, I would like for you to sing to the entire class the opening lyrics to Castle on a Cloud.”
“I can’t sing. I’m tone deaf,” I said, trying to remain calm.
“That belch didn’t seem tone deaf. Apparently you’re an alto. Repeat after me: There is a castle on a cloud. I like to go there in my sleep.”
I hated Mr. Fredericks. I hated the big kid. I hated the singing turtles. I looked over at Thaddeus, and he was trying not to laugh. I loved Thaddeus. I loved Thaddeus. I loved Thaddeus.
“All right, your turn, Miss Roberta.”
There I was feeling humiliated and pissed off for being wrongfully accused for a belch, when somehow by the absolute grace and glory of God, there was a knock at the door. Frustrated, Mr. Fredericks stormed over and opened it.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Fredericks,” Twiggy said, standing in front of the half-opened door. “I hate to interrupt your class, but I have a rather important announcement to make.”
“Oh, yes, yes, of course,” he said, holding the door for her, clearly not wanting her to see the absolute lack of control he had over his own classroom.
I was still standing in the
front of the room, looking like an idiot. Twiggy barely acknowledged me, and Mr. Fredericks told me to go back to my seat. On the way up the riser, I made sure to give the big kid an I’ll get you back kind of look.
“Please, go ahead,” Mr. Fredericks said to Twiggy.
With her hands folded behind her back, she thanked him and moved to the front of the class. It was interesting to see a couple of the kids straighten up in their seats.
“Let me see a show of hands as to how many of you have Mrs. Reichard next for American History?”
I had Mrs. Reichard next. I raised my hand, Thaddeus raised his hand, and a pretty girl in a soft pink V-neck sweater raised hers.
“There are only three of you?” Twiggy asked.
No one else volunteered. Twiggy jotted something down on a piece of paper. “The three of you shall have a free period next. Mrs. Reichard just went into early labor and has been rushed to St. Barnabas. Both mother and baby are doing fine, and we will continue to keep the Meadowbrook family updated as to her well-being.”
Twiggy promptly thanked Mr. Fredericks and left.
I glanced over at Thaddeus. His eyes caught mine, and he made a gesture with his hand that indicated, meet me outside after class. I nodded in agreement. Was I about to spend a “free period” with Thaddeus? This just seemed entirely too good to be true. I was so happy that I didn’t even mind when Mr. Fredericks asked me to come back to the front and sing.
Free Period
2:00 p.m.
The first bell, ending chorus, hadn’t even finished ringing when Thaddeus ran out the door. I gave the big kid a shove, quickly hopped down off the risers, and ran after him. Fortunately he was still waiting right outside the door.
“Whoa,” he said, “you got somewhere to be?”
Half-breathless, I said, “Nope.”
“Want to hang?”
I took a second to make it seem like I was pondering the countless other opportunities I had going on in my life. “Sounds cool.”
“Let’s see if there’s a class in the auditorium. We can just chill there if it’s empty.”
Thaddeus led the way, and I followed close behind. I couldn’t believe I was about to spend an entire forty-five minutes with him…alone. God, I just hoped I wouldn’t screw it up. I was praying that he wouldn’t bring up those damn Yankees tickets I had lied about earlier. Over the course of the day, my conscience had gotten the best of me, and I was feeling bad for grossly misrepresenting my capacity to acquire Yankees box seats behind home plate.