The Fugitive's Secret Child

by Geri Krotow

  “Don’t even try it, Jake. We can have Rob read you your story if you’d like, but you can’t be pulling any nonsense about bedtime.” She’d worked hard to establish regular routines with Jake. It helped both of their sanities.

  “What are we reading?” Rob slipped right into their routine, and again Trina had a mess of emotions swamping her. Her protective urge toward Jake was the strongest, but not as dominant as she’d expected. She trusted Rob, and she trusted him to be here with Jake.

  But if he wasn’t going to be here as a permanent fixture in Jake’s life, she didn’t want to put the little boy’s heart at risk.

  As Jake ran upstairs to his room to pick out a book, or more likely a stack of books, Trina faced Rob on the stairwell. “You don’t have to do this. You only just found out that you have a child.” She kept her voice low, almost a whisper.

  His eyes were intent upon her. For the first time in a long while it was deeper than the sexual energy he normally radiated. It was something more overarching, bigger. “I’m never where I don’t want to be, Trina.”

  * * *

  Rob’s inner GPS felt as though it was permanently programmed to the little boy. Jake. His son. Before tonight he would have admitted he’d never stopped thinking about Trina, and in fact still cared deeply for her. It had been a tremendous relief to find out she was single and even better, had never found a man to settle down with. He still couldn’t believe she wasn’t married.

  But Jake...

  The little being who nestled so naturally between him and Trina on the race car bed was a live wire. As Jake sat on his knees and held the book, Rob read the story of some bears figuring out the difference between healthy and junk food. Trina had selected the book from the stack Jake presented, most of which were train-or dinosaur-centric. Rob did his best to act out each voice, booming it out when he did the Papa Bear parts. “The end.” Jake let out a whine of regret next to him and Rob couldn’t help but laugh. “I agree, buddy, it ended too soon.”

  Jake threw his arms around Rob’s neck and gave him a hard, quick hug. “I like you, Rob.”

  Rob blinked, unable to process the emotions that made his throat feel raw and his chest three sizes bigger. He didn’t even care that Jake had knocked up against his sore ribs. The injury was no match for the love he was getting from his son.

  His son.

  “I’ll put it back.” Jake took the book and slid off his lap. “Mom, can Renegade sleep with me?” The dog was in the hallway in a crate Trina had found in the house basement. The little pup had collapsed into sleep after playing so hard with Jake.

  “No, not until we get him checked by the vet. Then we’ll talk about it.”

  Rob looked at Trina. Her eyes were teary and he hoped it was from happiness. “Was that your book?”

  She nodded and motioned at a shelf chock-full of kid’s books. “All of those were Nolan’s and mine. The agreement is that Jake gets to have them until Nolan finds someone to have kids with.”

  “Yeah, Uncle Nolan needs a woman.” Jake’s tone and expression perfectly mimicked Trina’s mother’s, and Rob laughed. When Jake made him laugh, it wasn’t a simple reaction to humor. It was a sense of well-being and happiness that radiated from the center of his chest. This is pure joy.

  And he’d missed the first five years of it due to his own stupidity.

  “Okay, lights out.”

  “Can I have the stars and planets night-light?”

  “Of course. Let’s say our prayers.” Trina didn’t make a move for Rob to join them, though he wouldn’t have dared intrude on something so private. Jake took matters into his own hand, literally, when he reached one hand to hold Rob’s, while he held Tina’s with the other. The nighttime prayers were said and Jake tucked under his sheets—the hot night proving too much for the superhero comforter—in under two minutes.

  He silently followed Trina back downstairs to the kitchen.

  “Is he always that easy to go to sleep?”

  “No way. He can have a good-size fit if he wants to. Some nights he’s turned on his overhead light and read on his own. I find him sprawled out on his bed, the lights still on and books everywhere, when I wake up.” Her dimples appeared in her smooth cheeks. “One night he got up and played with his train set. He has one of those wooden ones and he’d laid tracks down the hall and the stairs. All of the cars were in a pile at the bottom of them, on the braided rug.”

  “I’m surprised he didn’t wake you up.”

  She sighed. “Yeah, I’m a solid sleeper. I’d like to think that mother’s intuition would wake me up if anything was wrong, and in fact it has.”

  Rob’s anxiety peaked. “Like when?”

  Trina looked at him sharply and placed a hand on his arm. “Relax. Nothing horrible, just the kind of childhood stuff we all go through. Crying out during a bad dream, waking up sick. Jake gets really high fevers, but I think he’s mostly outgrown them. The doctor said it was genetic, but my mother says I never had fevers like Jake got as a toddler. Neither did Nolan.”

  “I did.” Memories of his mother screaming at his father to help her get him into a cold tub assaulted him. “I had them when I was very young.”

  “That solves where he gets them from, then.” She spoke quietly, and he saw the tears in her eyes, the way her hands trembled.

  He covered them with his, needing to reassure her. Seeing her suffering because of him cut like a steel knife through butter. “Trina, I’m never going to be able to apologize enough for walking away three and a half years ago. But I’d like to think that maybe I can make it up to you. And Jake.”

  “You didn’t walk away in the classic sense, Rob. And like you said, you weren’t in a place to be a father or a partner.” She shut her mouth and shook her head, red stains on her cheeks. “I didn’t mean that last part. I don’t expect you to be my partner. I don’t need someone to help me, or even to raise Jake. Jake could use a dad, and I’d never keep him from you. But this isn’t an experiment to see if you and he get along, Rob. This isn’t a temporary deal where you meet Jake, decided to tell him you’re his father, and then disappear again. I won’t have it. Do what you need to do, but don’t for one minute think it’s okay to do one damn thing that will hurt Jake.”

  He watched the tears spill down her cheeks, and she swiped at them. His fingers itched to help her, but she had her shoulders hunched in a defensive posture. Protecting herself from further heartbreak.

  “I couldn’t agree more.”

  His phone buzzed, and he would have ignored it but it was on the table in front of them. As Claudia’s number appeared, he picked up.

  “Rob here.”

  “I trust you’re back in Silver Valley?”

  “Yes. I’m with US Marshal Lopez.”

  He heard Claudia pause, not usual for the Trail Hikers’ director. “Glad you’re together, because this applies to both of you.”

  He gripped the phone tighter and turned away from Trina. “Yeah?”

  “Intelligence reports confirm that Ivanov was the man in the helicopter. We’re getting testimony from Vasin, and he’s not veering from the risk to you and Marshal Lopez.” Claudia’s voice rang clear. “I understand she has a child. He’s at risk, too.”

  “What can we do?” Immediately plans of escape with Trina and Jake, stowing them in a safe house, raced around his mind.

  “Nothing for now. This is just preliminary, and I’ve got two agents on it. The FBI has dozens. Go about your usual business, but be extra aware of being trailed. Tell Lopez the same. If it at all looks like Ivanov’s team is near Silver Valley, I’ll have you disappear with Lopez and your boy.”

  His heartbeat sped up when Claudia said “your boy.” So Claudia had known, somehow. And he had no doubt she’d put Trina in his path. This wasn’t the time for that conversation, however.

  “Are you still there,
Rob?”

  “I’m here.” And ready to punch the walls. Why had he been the last to know about his son?

  “Stay focused on the next step. Like I said, if you need to evacuate, we’ll do it. I’ll see you in the morning.” She disconnected, and Rob set his phone back down.

  “Bad news?”

  He couldn’t say everything; Trina wasn’t a Trail Hiker. “Vasin is making a lot of noise that we’re in danger from Ivanov for splitting up their operation.”

  “What kind of danger? Do you mean you and me specifically, or the Marshals, law enforcement in general?”

  “More direct than that. Ivanov may seek restitution for losing those girls. He’s done some heinous things in the past.” He watched Trina’s face go from flushed to waxy pale.

  “He—he wouldn’t...” She wouldn’t say the words. Rob put his arms around her as they sat in chairs next to each other.

  “No, he’s not going to hurt you or Jake. No one is going to. If we get word that he’s sent anyone in, we’ll get you and Jake far away and for as long as it takes to make sure it’s all clear. But it probably won’t come even close to that. ROC is powerful and evil to the core, but they like to keep their life easier. Going after US government agents and their families isn’t part of the deal, not usually.” As he said the words he prayed that what he believed, that Trina and Jake would be safe, was true.

  * * *

  Trina didn’t have a hard time falling asleep after Rob left for his apartment, as the past forty-eight hours finally hit her exhausted body and as soon as her cheek landed on her high threaded pillowcase she was out. But she was up at four thirty, an hour before usual, wide-awake. A full moon spilled light onto her—she’d forgotten to shut the drapes in her bedroom again. Truth was, she liked waking up to the sunrise, or seeing the stars if it was a long winter’s night. With the oppressive heat and practically nonfunctional air-conditioning in the house, she’d left all the upstairs windows cracked, screens installed to keep Jake safe.

  All that mattered in her world since the moment the midwife had placed Jake in her arms, still wet from birth and rooting for her breast, was her little boy’s safety. She’d accepted he’d never know his biological father, and as the years sped by she faced the reality that she might never connect closely enough with another man to be willing to risk bringing him into their family. Because it was a risk. As a marshal she knew firsthand how incredibly devastating the wrong man in a home could be to a woman and her children. She’d read enough reports on incest and child abuse, and had arrested pedophiles. Sexual abusers preyed on single mothers as it made their access to victims easier.

  Rob’s not a criminal. You know Rob.

  She’d known Rob, yes. When his name had been Justin Berger and he’d been entrenched in doing whatever was needed in the pursuit of liberty, justice and peace. Which oftentimes meant going into a war zone and laying his life on the line, time after time. Since he’d left the Navy he’d done similarly risky jobs. If she opened up their home, and Jake, to Rob’s reality, it meant that Jake could end up orphaned. Of course, she was always at risk in her job, too. But two LEA parents was different. It seemed like a double threat —shouldn’t at least one parent be doing something that was without such high risk?

  She’d faced the risks and decided that while they were worth it to a point, she’d fast reached the place where she was going to make a decision to go to a desk job. Jake deserved that much from her.

  How could she expect Rob to do the same?

  And what he’d said about Ivanov chilled her. Would ROC really come after her and her family because of her involvement in the case, brief though it had been?

  Trina threw off her sheets and got up to knit. It was the one sure thing she’d found comforted her in the darkness of early mornings like these. The puppy whimpered to remind her he was in the crate just outside her door. “Come on, Renegade. I’ll take you out.”

  After they came back inside and the puppy was safely back in his crate, she couldn’t sleep. A cup of chamomile lavender tea steamed on the end table as she sat on the worn sofa and worked on a light, lacy shawl she’d started in the spring. She remembered when she and Jake had come out and explored this house and surrounding few acres to see if it could work for them. She’d never forget how his laughter had tinkled across the farm fields, how the dirt and grass were cold underfoot but there was the promise of warmer weather on the soft breeze.

  As she wound her needles with alpaca yarn, her phone lit up, indicating a text.

  You up?

  Rob. Chills ran down her spine, and she didn’t want to analyze if they were from receiving a text at such an ungodly hour or if they were a repeat of the physical reaction that had led to her total surrender in the Poconos campground.

  I’m up.

  Almost as soon as she sent her reply, Rob called. “Let me guess. You’re up this early every day. Or is it the SEAL training—you only need two hours of sleep per night?”

  His short laugh sounded ragged. Like she felt. “I wish. No, I’m calling because we have a problem.”

  The way he said “problem” made her stomach drop, and she swore she felt her adrenals kick out adrenaline in response.

  “Is it Ivanov?”

  “No. Yes. No—he’s not an issue right now. Trust me, if he was I’d already be over there and you and Jake would be on a trip far away.”

  “I can handle Jake’s safety.”

  “God, Trina, I’m not saying you can’t. Of course you can. And that’s not why I called.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “I can’t explain it, and I’m sure you know more about this than I do as you’ve been a parent, known you’re a parent, longer. But there’s no way I’m leaving Jake, Trina. I get that you and I had something before, and whether we ever have something between us again has nothing to do with this. I want to be in Jake’s life. For good. I have to be.”

  She placed earbuds in and picked her needles back up as she spoke. “That’s a good thing, Rob.” She wasn’t really sure that it was for her, but for Jake, yes. “I’d never keep you from him, not for any petty reasons.”

  “Thank you. What are you doing up?”

  “Couldn’t get back to sleep. My body’s aching, and I know I’ll want to crawl back under the covers the minute Jake wakes up, but my mind is racing. I haven’t felt like this since the war.”

  “I hear you. It usually takes me two days to come down from a mission.”

  “Are sleepless nights part of your regular life, then?”

  “Only when the op goes longer than expected or gets more complicated, like what we were dealing with. You handled everything fantastically, by the way.”

  “Ah, thank you? You know I’m a trained law enforcement agent, right?”

  “Yeah, you mentioned that a time or two. Let’s face it, though, Trina. You usually go in, get your suspect or fugitive, and bring them in. Am I right or off base here?”

  “You’re right.” She started a new row of the shawl, the rhythmic motion of the stitches and Rob’s voice easing the tension out of her muscles.

  “Then take the damn compliment, Lopez.”

  “Thank you.” This time she said it with sincerity. “You weren’t so bad yourself, Agent Bristol.”

  “Do you mean during or after?” His baritone scraped across the connection and her skin flamed.

  “No comment.”

  His silence was companionable. What could he say to that, really?

  “Rob?”

  “Hmm.” He was still thinking about it, she knew it in her center. Images of them together, skin on skin, moving to their unique beat, made her wish he were in the same room with her.

  “I’ve gotta go.”

  “What, something cooking on the stove?”

  “No. Actually, I’m knitting.”

&nb
sp; “As in the thing my grandmother did?”

  “It’s quite the relaxing exercise. I’m not a yoga person. I needed something to help me chill out after I put Jake to bed, and this has done the trick.”

  “Does Jake sleep over at your mom’s or brother’s when you have to travel for work?” Rob’s interest turned back in Jake as if by a switch.

  “Sometimes, but now that he’ll be in school full time, taking the bus, I think Mom will stay here if needed. Like I told you, I’ve been thinking about transitioning to a desk job.”

  “I can’t see you in a cubicle.”

  “Neither can I, not totally. But the constant worry about what could happen to me isn’t worth it anymore.”

  “You’re incredibly competent at what you do.”

  “Thanks, but you only saw me in the most unusual circumstance. My job is routine to a point, until it isn’t, if that makes sense.”

  “I hear you.” She loved his voice.

  “You’d never consider changing the kind of work you do, would you?”

  A long pause. “I wouldn’t, no, but my body’s talking a different story. My joints are pretty much shot to hell, with the maximum amount of surgery having been done on my shoulders and knees. My hips have steel in them since my active duty time.” He referred to his POW time without mentioning it. Was he still in denial about it, or was this how he managed the atrocity of it?

  “What is your body telling you?”

  “That I need to talk to my boss and see what other kinds of work I can do for my agency. For instance, taking down Vasin could have been straightforward—apprehend him or take him out if he proved unwilling or dangerous. But as you experienced firsthand, it didn’t go as expected or planned. A younger, stronger man without my prior injuries might have been able to get himself out of that building sooner than I did. Or not caught in the first place.”

  “Maybe, if he had magic powers and could disable half a dozen men with semiautomatic rifles in hand.” She dropped the sarcasm. “Your experience played out flawlessly in how you got out of the building without being killed.”