Kentucky Folktales

by Mary Hamilton

  The queen said, “Oh, it is lovely of you to want to try, but we’ve consulted all the wise men in the world without success. You need to go home.”

  “Couldn’t I at least try?”

  Her request sounded reasonable to the queen, so the girl was taken to see the princess. The princess laughed to see a girl wearing such patched clothing, for she had never seen such clothes before, and she was happy to be visited by a child about her own age. She invited the girl to play with her toys. The two of them played and played together.

  Then the girl took the knife and onion from her bag. “What’s that?” asked the princess.

  “It’s an onion, and I want you to use this knife to cut it into little pieces.”

  The princess laughed, “That sounds like fun.” The girl showed the princess how to safely use the knife, and the princess began cutting the onion. Soon tears rolled down her cheeks.

  When the king and queen arrived to check on their daughter, the princess was crying. They were so happy they laughed until tears rolled down their cheeks too. The queen presented the girl with a huge bag of gold, saying, “Just think of all the toys you’ll be able to buy with this!”

  “Oh, thank you, your Majesty, but I’m not buying toys. My mother is sick. With this gold I can buy all the medicine she needs.”

  The queen was surprised. “Your mother needs medicine, and does not have it? I don’t understand. In our kingdom, everyone buys health insurance. It’s the law.”

  The girl responded quickly, “Oh, my mother and I do have health insurance. We are law-abiding citizens, your majesty.”

  When the queen looked puzzled, the girl explained, “We purchase car insurance too, as required by law. But your majesty, just as having car insurance does not mean we can always afford to pay a mechanic to keep our car running, having health insurance does not mean we can always afford to pay for health care. But rest assured, your majesty, my mother and I do obey all kingdom laws. And now I’ll be able to buy her medicine, and she will be well enough to work again!” The girl curtsied, saying, “Thank you for the gold, Your Majesty.”

  The bag of gold was so large and sat so high in her bike basket the girl had to walk her bike home, for she knew she would never have been able to see over the gold while pedaling!

  The queen retired to her study. She called her advisors and told them what the girl had said. “Is it true?” she asked, “that even though everyone now has health insurance, the people of my kingdom still do not all have health care?” The advisors had to admit the girl had indeed told the truth.

  The girl bought medicine for her mother, and her mother’s health was restored.

  The princess begged permission for the girl to come play again, and the two of them became friends. After she had cried that first time, the princess even discovered there were times she cried without cutting up an onion.

  The queen and king turned their attention away from making the princess cry. Instead they put their attention on making sure all of their subjects had not just health insurance, but health care. Within a year, everyone in the kingdom enjoyed the same complete health care as the king and queen. And in such a kingdom, led by rulers such as these, it’s no surprise that everyone lived happily, and healthily, ever after.

  COMMENTARY

  In 1949 in Hyden, Leslie County, Kentucky, a girl named Agnes Valentine told “The Princess That Could Not Cry” to Leonard Roberts.1 On the field recording, Agnes can be heard saying she heard the story from her sister. Listening to Agnes tell was a joy. Her voice for the princess works especially well because the princess sounds so unaware of the effect her comments will have on her mother.

  As I listened to the story, I thought it seemed vaguely familiar. Sure enough, I found a version in a book by Pleasant DeSpain published in 1993. That version is one DeSpain and school children created cooperatively when he observed that many stories featured princesses who could not laugh, but not princesses who could not cry. He invited the students to suggest ideas for making a princess cry without hurting her.2 Cutting an onion provokes tears in DeSpain’s story too, but the attempts at making the princess cry vary from Valentine’s version.

  DeSpain’s version awarded land and gold; Valentine’s awarded gold. I awarded gold, but during the editing process for this book I learned that I might have awarded too much gold. Too much gold? Yes, gold is heavy. The amount I described would have crushed her bicycle, and most likely no cloth known could create a bag sturdy enough to hold that much. In keeping with my practice of paying attention to audience feedback, I will recalculate, reimagine, and reshape that portion of the story before I tell it again.

  Will the reward be a smaller bag of gold? Will the queen send twenty servants each carrying a bag of gold home with the girl to deliver her reward? Will an especially strong armored car be brought round to deliver the gold? To find out, come hear me tell stories and request “The Princess Who Could Not Cry.”

  The references to health insurance are mine, although Valentine’s version does include the need for unaffordable medicine as the motivation for the girl to try her hand at making the princess cry. Yes, in this story my thoughts on the health care issue, one visited and revisited by political powers with seemingly little progress, are included. The references to health care work especially well for mixed-aged audiences. Most children are not aware of the controversy, so the references sail over their heads. All adults in my audiences are aware of the controversy, but haven’t always considered whether having health insurance is truly the same as having health care.

  I am self-employed, and I have no employees. Before I married—becoming eligible to purchase health insurance through my husband’s employer’s group insurance plan—the best health insurance I could afford had a $5,000 yearly deductible that I had to meet before an 80/20 co-pay began. And I qualified to purchase that plan only because of my excellent health! Fortunately, my health did not deteriorate, so I could always afford the very few medicines and doctor visits I needed. Now, I pay only slightly more to purchase health insurance through my husband’s employer. My current health insurance plan requires a small co-pay for medicine and doctor visits and no yearly deductible.

  Truly, all health insurance plans are not the same. Buying health insurance does not guarantee affordable health care any more than buying car insurance guarantees a person can afford to pay a mechanic for changing the oil, replacing worn brake pads, and other services needed to keep a car running.

  Of course, the story could be told without any references to current events. However, story can be a means of addressing issues that are difficult to bring up and address more straightforwardly. Yes, I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been more blatant than subtle in my insertion of issues in this tale. Some would contend my insertion of those issues is downright awkward! I look forward to the day when this story seems strangely out of date because efficient, effective, and affordable health care is always readily available for everyone.

  RAWHEAD AND BLOODY BONES

  A little girl once lived with her daddy. Her mama had died. Not far away another little girl lived with her mama. Her daddy had died. These two little girls knew each other and got along well. Over time their parents fell in love and married each other. For a while all was well, but then the mother began to make a difference between the two girls.

  She noticed that her husband’s girl was prettier than her daughter, so she began to dress her husband’s daughter in old worn-out clothes and dress her daughter in new pretty clothes. Whenever her husband asked why the girls’ clothing looked so different, she said, “Oh, that girl of yours is just hard on her clothes. They start the same, but hers look ragged in no time.” But even dressed in rags, the pretty girl was still prettier than her daughter. So the mama began to give the pretty girl harder chores than her daughter, but even the hard work did not keep her from looking prettier than her own daughter.

  At first her daughter noticed her mama’s meanness and tried to make it u
p to her stepsister by being nice to her. But then the daughter began to enjoy her new clothes, and she liked being assigned only the easiest jobs, so it became easier and easier for her to be just as mean to her sister as her mother was. And the meaner she was to her stepsister, the more her mama praised her. The pretty girl couldn’t imagine what she had done to cause such meanness to come her way, but she understood how bad it felt to be treated so mean, so she promised herself she would always treat others with kindness. Because she was so kind to everyone, people liked her better than her sister too.

  When the mother saw that her stepdaughter was not only prettier but also better liked than her daughter, she grew determined to get rid of the girl. She went off to visit a friend of hers who knew how to cast spells, saying, “Tell me what I can do to get rid of her.”

  By the time she left for home, she had a plan. When she reached home, she told her daughter, “I want you to get in the bed and pretend you are sick, even near dying.” The daughter did. Then the mama began wailing and crying like her heart was near breaking.

  The kind girl heard her cries and came running. When she learned her sister was sick, she immediately asked, “Is there anything I can do to help her?”

  This was just what her stepmother had known she would say. “Oh,” said the woman, “I’ve been to see a friend of mine who’s real good at healing, and she says can’t anything cure her but a bottle of water from the well at the end of the world.”

  “Give me a bottle,” said the girl, “and I’ll go fetch the water.”

  So, the stepmother gave the girl a small bottle and sent her off with a few dried crusts of bread to eat on her journey. Now, the stepmother never expected to see the girl again, for her friend had promised to cast spells that would send wild animals out to trample the girl to death along the way. Of course, the girl knew nothing of this. She walked through the nearby village and kept walking right into the woods, where wild animals lived. She hadn’t gone far into the woods when she stopped to eat. Then she saw an old man walking along. He seemed to be leaning heavy on his walking stick, and the girl thought he looked hungry too. “Hello,” she said, “would you like to share my food? It’s not much, just some dried crusts of bread, but I’d be happy to share it.”

  The old man sat down beside the girl and shared her food. Then he said, “I know you are going on a long journey, and I want to give you my walking stick to help you along your way. Whenever you have trouble, just strike the ground with the stick and say—Stop! Stop!—and you’ll be safe.” The girl took the stick, thanked the old man, and went on her way.

  She hadn’t gone far when she heard a rumbling sound. It grew louder and louder. Then the trees and even the ground under her feet began to shake. She saw a cloud of dust coming toward her through the trees. It was the wild animals the witch woman had sent to trample her. The girl was frightened, and at first she didn’t know what to do. Then she remembered what the old man had told her about the stick. She struck the ground, “Stop! Stop!” The dust cloud parted as the wild animals ran around and past her.

  The girl walked on through the woods. At last she came to a clearing. She saw a fence. On the gate of the fence was a sign that read: Well at the World’s End. “Hmm,” thought the girl, “I’ve found the right place.” So she opened the gate and started to walk through. But the gate shut on her and tried to pinch her in two. She remembered the walking stick. She struck the ground with it, “Stop! Stop!” and the gate let her through.

  Sitting on the edge of the well was a bucket with a long rope. The girl lowered the bucket into the well, but when she brought it up, instead of water, in the bucket was a rawhead and bloody bones. “Wash me and dry me, and lay me down easy,” pleaded the creature. So the girl carefully removed the rawhead and bloody bones from the bucket. She took out her handkerchief and used it to wash it. Then she carefully laid it in the sun to dry.

  Again she lowered the bucket into the well, but again she hauled up a rawhead and bloody bones. “Wash me and dry me, and lay me down easy.” Again the girl carefully washed the creature and placed it in the sunlight to dry.

  A third time she lowered the bucket, and a third time she hauled up a rawhead and bloody bones. She washed it and gently placed it with the others. When she lowered the bucket a fourth time, she hauled up clear water. She took out the bottle her stepmother had given her, filled it, and headed for home.

  As the girl walked out of the clearing, the first rawhead and bloody bones said, “She was kind. I wish she’d be ten times kinder—so kind that everyone will even see the kindness oozing off her.”

  “She smelled good too,” said the second rawhead and bloody bones. “I wish by the time she reaches home, she smells ten times better.”

  The third rawhead and bloody bones said, “Her clothes looked sort of ragged. I don’t think she has much. I wish that when she combs her hair silver and gold coins will fall from her head.”

  The girl walked back through the woods. As she walked, she smelled so good the animals came to find out what the wonderful smell was. Butterflies landed on her, and birds flew in close just to enjoy the wonderful fragrance.

  By the time she reached the village, the smell coming from her was so wonderful all the villagers opened their doors and windows. And when they saw the kindness oozing from her, the parents called their children from play, woke up toddlers from their naps, and lifted the babies from their cribs and held them up so no one would miss seeing her walk by.

  By the time she reached home, her head felt so heavy she wanted to just lay her head down. But first she gave her mother the bottle of water. She noticed her stepsister wasn’t sick in bed anymore, but was up playing. “Oh,” said her mother, “I guess my friend was wrong. She started feeling better just as soon as you left.”

  The girl felt tired out from her journey, and her head was even starting to itch, “Mama,” she asked, “could I lay my head in your lap while you comb my hair?”

  “No! I don’t want your filthy head near me. Comb it yourself!”

  So the girl sat down and began combing her hair. When she did, gold and silver coins began falling out. The stepmother noticed right away. “Oh, sugar,” she said, “I must be tired to talk so hateful to you like that. I am so sorry. Here, lay your head in my lap, and I’ll comb your hair for you.” So the stepmother combed the girl’s hair until she had all the coins she wanted. Then she pushed the girl away.

  The next day the stepmother said to her daughter, “You need to go to that well at the end of the world and come home with gold and silver in your hair like she did.” The girl didn’t want to go, but the mother gave her a bottle to fill with water, fixed her wonderful sandwiches to eat, and sent her on her way. Her sister even gave her the walking stick and told her how to use it if she encountered trouble.

  The girl trudged off through the village and into the forest. She hadn’t walked far into the woods when she sat down to eat. An old man came along. His clothes were ragged. He moved slowly. He saw the girl had his old walking stick, so he spoke to her. “I see you have my old walking stick. You must be the sister of the girl I gave it to.”

  The girl looked at him and frowned, “You say this is your stick. Well, I’ll give you your stick!” and she hit him with it. The old man moved away from her as fast as he could. The girl called after him, “And I don’t have a sister.” To herself she mumbled, “I have a stepsister, and there is a difference.” Then she sat back down and ate her sandwiches.

  After eating she walked on through the woods. No wild animals bothered her because no spells had been cast to send them after her, so she had no trouble reaching the clearing. But when she started through the gate that guarded the well, it nearly pinched her in two. She kicked at it, yelling, “Stop! Stop!” and in the midst of her yelling and kicking and hitting the gate with the stick, she also managed to strike the stick on the ground, so the gate let her through.

  She dropped the bucket in the well, and hauled it up. Inside the bucke
t was a rawhead and bloody bones. It pleaded, “Wash me and dry me, and lay me down easy.”

  The girl took one look, “You nasty thing. What are you doing in my bucket? I’m not going to wash and dry you,” and she threw it out of the bucket. It rolled over into a ditch.

  Again she lowered the bucket, and again she hauled up a rawhead and bloody bones. “Wash me and dry me, and lay me down easy.” The girl threw it into the ditch too.

  Again she lowered the bucket, and again she hauled up a rawhead and bloody bones. She yelled, “Again! I’ll teach you to bother my bucket.” She emptied the bucket onto the ground and kicked the rawhead and bloody bones over into the ditch with the others.

  Then she lowered the bucket, brought up water, filled her bottle, and started walking home. As she left the clearing, the first rawhead and bloody bones said, “Oh, she acted ugly! I wish her inside ugliness would just ooze all over her outside.”

  “Yes,” said the second rawhead and bloody bones, “and she smelled bad too. By the time she gets home, I wish she’d smell ten times as bad.”

  The third one added, “When she gets home and combs her hair, I wish all kinds of snails, slugs, lizards, snakes, and awful creatures would come spilling out.”

  The girl walked back through the woods. She smelled so bad, the animals ran away and the birds flew as high as they could up into the sky, except the buzzards. They flew in close, trying find whatever it was that smelled so dead. Flies began hovering around her looking for a good place to lay their eggs.

  When she walked into the village, she smelled so bad, people went to close their windows to shut out the smell. But when they saw the inner ugliness oozing all over her, all the grownups rushed outside, gathered up any nearby children—not just their own children, but any nearby children—and hurried them inside to keep them safe. So she walked through a village with every door and every window shut tight against her smell and all the window shades and curtains pulled tight against her ugliness.