Living With Doubt (The Regret Series Book 2)

by Riann C. Miller

  Me: Okay

  “What did I just do?” I mumble to myself when my phone buzzes again.

  Unknown: I’ll rent us a room, and I’ll pick you up. Tell me when and where?

  * * *

  Me: I’ll be in court all day. Tell me where to meet you

  * * *

  Unknown: I’ll let you know tomorrow

  My eyes drift closed as all the reasons why this is a horrible idea play in my mind. If Jordan and Chase find out, I’ll never hear the end of it—not to mention, a man like Jake feels dangerous. I haven’t allowed my feelings to play any part in my sexual relationships, and with Jake, I fear that could happen.

  Unknown: Goodnight Blue Eyes

  Oh, fuck…this could get interesting.

  6

  Jake

  For the last nine years, women have been nothing more than interchangeable bed partners. In high school, I dated a few different girls, but I was determined to leave for college as a single man. Therefore, I always cut ties with a chick before she could start talking about a future.

  When I first arrived in Louisiana, I still had the same mindset, but then I met Alicia Hale and everything changed. Alicia was beautiful in a classic way. She had shoulder-length brown hair, hazel eyes, and a natural tan year round. She was soft spoken, incredibly smart, and always dressed in whatever fashion was currently in style. The thing I liked the most about our relationship was she never argued with me. It didn’t matter what I said, she’d agree with me. I could have told her not to drive on the interstate because aliens were attacking, and she more than likely would’ve smiled and driven through town. I liked that. I liked that a hell of a lot at the time.

  Then my baby sister, who was only ten at the time, fell at recess and broke a bone in her shoulder. My mom called me and told me they were prepping Bridgett for surgery, and I instantly booked the first flight home I could get. I didn’t know how long I would be gone or when I’d return. At the time, my only concern was my sister. I never thought about calling Alicia, who by that time I had already asked to marry me, to tell her when I’d be back. I was mentally counting how many days it would take for me to get caught up in my classes when I walked into the small apartment we shared right off campus, only to find Alicia taking it up the ass by my teammate Danny Lynch.

  Lynch was a year older than me and already drafted by the NFL. Apparently, my easy-going, soon-to-be wife was nothing more than a money hungry bitch. The fact that she was able to mask her true intentions so unbelievably well turned me off women in general.

  Since then, I don’t care what personality a woman has as long as she’s down with the fact I don’t do repeats.

  Right now, my head is completely messed up.

  Lacey is the opposite of Alicia in every way possible. That has to be why I’m willing to break my number one rule and not only go back for seconds, but actually be the one who begged for another night.

  Last night, when we were texting, I didn’t lie. Sex with Lacey left a lasting impression, and that never happens. After I fuck a woman, I don’t look back. I should’ve known when I couldn’t stop thinking about her that sex with Lacey would be different, but I was banking on my dick and my head losing interest once I had a taste—once I knew how it felt to have her pussy wrapped around my cock.

  Shit. I need to stop my head from going there or I’ll end up having to use my hand again to get off, and that doesn’t hold much appeal.

  Forcing myself to think about something else, I walk out of Chase’s guest room only to find him in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee, wearing a suit and tie.

  “Going somewhere?”

  Chase grins. “Yep. I’m heading down to my new office. I won’t officially start my job until after the Super Bowl, but my boss asked if I would be willing to come and meet a few people.”

  “Are you going to miss it?”

  His eyes flash, and for a second, I expect him to concede he will. “I was told I was taking a risk by playing ball. That one serious concussion could alter the rest of my life, and I didn’t listen. Instead, I woke up in a hospital bed believing I was fucking married to a woman I hadn’t seen in ten years. I’ve never let go of Jordan. I never forgot what life felt like when we were together.”

  “I know, man.”

  “But what if the next concussion wipes her from my memory?” he whispers in a painful tone. “I’d rather live my life with the memories I’ve made, even if that means I can’t keep Jordan in the end, rather than lose the only thing that has ever been real.”

  A knot forms in the pit of my stomach. I love my mom and sister, but I’ve never felt the all-consuming love Chase has carried around for Jordan since he was a teenager. Not even with Alicia.

  For years, football was the only thing that kept him going, and now, given the choice, he walked away. He gave up the only thing other than family I deem important, and he gave it up for a woman.

  “If this is what you really want, then I’m happy for you, dude.”

  Chase smiles again. “It is. Maybe one day you’ll find—”

  I put my hand up ready to cut off his line of thinking.

  He gives me an amused look. “Okay, I’m off.”

  “I have something I wanted to talk to you about.”

  Chase motions for me to go on.

  “I was thinking about crashing in New York for a few more days. I can’t remember the last time I was here other than to play ball, and my mom and Bridgett don’t seem to miss me.”

  “Oh sure.” Chase grabs his keys from his pocket and removes one. “Here, take this. That way you can come and go whenever you want. I’ll probably be at Jordan’s most nights anyway, so make yourself comfortable and stay as long as you’d like.”

  “Thanks. Oh, one more thing. Is there a decent gym around here?”

  “I use the one about two blocks north of here. I like how easy it is to get back and forth, and the gym will have everything you’ll want.”

  “Thanks again.”

  “No problem. I’ll catch ya later.”

  When the door shuts, I grab my phone and search for five-star hotels in New York City. After viewing a few of them, I decide to go for a reasonable, almost average-looking hotel a few miles from Time Square. If I had any idea where Lacey worked, I would’ve tried booking one in that area so she could stay for as long as possible.

  With most of the day to kill, I decide to check out the gym Chase told me about before I go in search of the blue-eyed raven.

  The thick wooden doors close behind me as I quickly take a seat in the back row. My eyes wander the ancient room in awe. I don’t remember ever being inside a courtroom before, but I remember Lacey saying she’d be in court today. Therefore, I went down to the main courthouse hoping like hell I was in the correct place. After asking around, I was told I would find her here.

  “All rise.” I jump to my feet when everyone around me stands. A man off to the side announces the judge the same way I’d expect the President to be announced, and then everyone takes a seat.

  “Ms. Davis, it’s my understanding that your client is pleading not guilty. Is that correct?”

  “Yes, Your Honor.”

  My eyes widen when they land on Lacey. Her voice is firm, almost sharp. She has her dark hair pulled back into a tight bun, and black-framed glasses adorn her face. Every dirty librarian fantasy I’ve ever had comes flooding to my mind.

  “Mr. Martin, has your counsel informed you the prosecution is recommending six months in county lock-up and five thousand dollars in fines?”

  “Yes. She told me something like that.”

  The judge dramatically sighs. “And were you also made aware that by pleading guilty, the prosecution was willing to drop that fine to one hundred hours of community service?”

  The man next to Lacey jumps to his feet. “That’s insane. I’m not doing any fucking community service.”

  “Your Honor,” she quickly says, “what my client meant to say, is he feels he hasn’t
committed a crime and therefore shouldn’t serve any form of time.”

  The judge sighs in frustration as someone on the other side of the room laughs.

  “Mr. Martin. You’re going to stand here—under oath—and tell the court that you believed when the Church of Christ passed around their offering basket during communion, you thought they were offering you the money in the basket?”

  “I know they did. That Priest said they were looking to help those in need, and I was at least a hundred dollars short on my rent.”

  Laughter breaks out in the room, adding to the judge’s frustration. “Mr. Martin, the church gets to decide who they help. You’re not allowed to make that decision for them.”

  “Your Honor, as you can tell, this is just a simple misunderstanding. I’d like to recommend to the court to dismiss the case altogether,” she states.

  “Your Honor.” A man on the other side of the room stands up and glances at Lacey with an evil smirk, one I know all too well. “Father Todd was willing to believe Mr. Martin’s claim that he didn’t know he wasn’t allowed to shove the money he removed from the receiving basket into his pants, and allow him to leave without calling the police, but he refused to return the money. Mr. Martin even went as far as threatening to sue the church for discrimination.” The amusement of the crowd of onlookers in the courtroom can be heard as Lacey slowly shakes her head.

  “Discrimination? On what grounds would you make that claim?” the judge asks in growing frustration.

  “Your Honor, my client feels he has the constitutional right to a handout just as much as anyone else. He was there first and needed the money.”

  My eyes widen at the absurd claim.

  “Plain and simple, Your Honor, my client wasn’t made aware of the proper channels to receive help from the church. Now he knows; therefore, this won’t be a problem in the future, which is why we’re asking the court to dismiss the case entirely.”

  “Your Honor, the prosecution’s office doesn’t feel Mr. Martin has learned his lesson. He’s refused to apologize to the church or even consider the possibility of community service—where we feel he might learn there are, in fact, millions of citizens who exceed his level of need.”

  “I agree. Mr. Martin, this court finds you guilty. You’ll be held in county jail until your sentencing hearing.”

  Lacey’s back is to me, but she doesn’t react—her client, on the other hand, is another story. “This is bullshit. I have the right to a trial. You can’t walk in here and look at me and just decide I’m guilty. That’s discrimination!”

  “Ms. Davis, contain your client please.”

  Lacey places her hand on the man’s arm, but he yanks it away from her. “Don’t fucking touch me. You claim this is justice, but you’re all fucking fools. I’m not going to jail because of some jackass priest.”

  A police officer walks over and takes the defendant, who continues to yell at everyone around him, out of the courtroom.

  “Court is adjourned.”

  Amused laughter breaks out as everyone around me stands at the same time. Lacey drops to her seat and covers her face with her hands.

  I wait until the mass of people are out of the room before I make my way to the front. I pause as the prosecutor walks up to her table. “Tough break, Davis.”

  “I’m sure you’ll lose a night’s rest over sending my client to jail,” she snaps.

  “Nope, but the offer to share my bed for the night still stands.”

  A growl starts to form in my throat as she answers. “Whatever, Russell.”

  “Let me know if you change your mind.” The prick’s eyes lock on her chest before he walks off.

  Instantly, I want to deck him. I hate what he said to her, and even more, I hate the idea that she might, one day, take him up on his offer.

  I inhale deeply, willing myself to relax. “That was quite the show.”

  Her head whips around when she hears my voice. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  Okay…not the greeting I was hoping for. “I happened to be in the neighborhood and thought I would stop in and say hello. Plus, I wanted to see the famous Lacey Davis in action.”

  “If you witnessed that shitshow, then you know I’ve reached my level of bullshit for one day, Girard.”

  I cast her a sideways glance as I fight the urge to laugh. “Fine, I was tired of waiting around and remembered you said you’d be in court. I figured it would be fun to watch you, but I had no idea it would be this entertaining.”

  She shoves a stack of papers into a bag before she turns in my direction. “Unfortunately, this is a fairly normal day for me.”

  My eyes slowly scan down her front. Her dark suit is very modest with a skirt that almost covers her knees and hugs all the right places. Undressing her might be the best present I’ve been given in a long time.

  “I made us reservations. I thought feeding you before I take my time devouring your alluring body would be a good idea.”

  Her eyes darken with lust, which causes my dick to jump in my pants. “Do you need to run home first? Maybe pack an overnight bag or whatever?”

  “An overnight bag?” Her smoldering eyes lock with mine. “Why would I need that?”

  I step closer, but I don’t touch her. I’m too afraid if I do, I’ll push her onto the table next to us and take her delicious-looking body right here. My dick jumps again at the idea of marking her somewhere she’ll never forget. Marking her in the same place that douchebag hit on her, but if I had to guess, I’d say Lacey is too professional to get down and dirty in a courtroom.

  “I already told you…I want the whole night. I plan on stripping you bare and feasting on your body until neither of us can walk straight. Then, and only then, do I plan on walking away.”

  Lacey holds my stare for several long seconds before she turns and grabs the bag off the table. “Then let’s get to it.” She glances over her shoulder. “Oh, and, Girard?”

  My eyes snap from her ass back to her face. “Yes?”

  “You talk an awfully big game. I only hope you have what it takes to back it up.”

  She turns and walks straight out of the courtroom.

  “Damn right I do,” I mumble to myself as I take off, once again chasing after this woman.

  7

  Lacey

  Jake and I took a cab back to my apartment, where I had him wait in the car while I packed a bag. I didn’t plan on spending the night with him. I figured we’d stop wherever he rented a room, fuck, and then I’d head home. Wishful thinking on my part, but at the same time, I like the idea of having multiple rounds, especially since this is it. We’re done with each other after tonight.

  I quickly touch up my makeup and let my hair down before I write a note for Morgan lying about why I won’t be home, then I make my way downstairs. When I climb back into the cab, he quickly puts his phone away as mine buzzes with a text.

  Caleb: How was court?

  “Everything okay?” he questions when he sees me looking at my phone.

  “Yep. Caleb was just checking on me.”

  His eyes harden for a second. “You and Caleb are pretty close friends?”

  “Yes,” I firmly reply.

  “He seems like a decent guy.”

  “He is.” Neither of us say anything the rest of the drive to Rosa’s. When the cab stops, Jake pays the driver and then grabs my bag before reaching for my hand.

  “Oh, Miss Lacey. I didn’t know you were coming tonight,” Rosa, the eighty-five-year-old owner, coos when she sees me.

  “I made a reservation for Girard,” Jake announces with a dazzling smile.

  “Oh,” Rosa purrs.

  I can hear the excitement in her voice.

  “You’re on a date?” She looks down at our interlocked fingers and my bag in his other hand.

  I pull out of his hold. “No, no…this is nothing like that.” I wave my hand back and forth between Jake and myself. When I glance at the big ape, I find his dark brown eyes
shining with humor.

  “I keep asking her to marry me, but she won’t let me make an honest woman out of her.”

  Rosa does a double take in my direction as I slap Jake on the arm.

  “That’s not true. He’s lying, Rosa. He doesn’t want to marry me—he just wants to have sex with me.”

  Rosa turns her determined stare to Jake. “Is that true? You don’t think our Lacey is good enough to wear your ring? I’d have my grandson Alfonso drop down on one knee right now if I thought Lacey would say yes.”

  “Rosa, Alfonso is fifteen.”

  Jake, who looked slightly taken aback a second ago, chuckles when he hears my comment.

  “Finding a good woman in this day and age is hard to come by. My Alfonso would be honored to take your hand in marriage.”

  “Well, after our big day, he might get lonely when I end up in jail.”

  Rosa takes my bag out of Jake’s hand and sits it next to the register before she walks us to a table. I almost groan when she stops at a booth tucked into the corner. The dim lighting and candle in the center of the table give off a romantic vibe, but tonight is about sex and nothing more.

  “Alfonso will be out in a second to take your order.”

  “Great,” he mumbles as we take a seat. “The horny teenager who’d like to marry you is going to take our order?” He acts almost jealous, which makes me smile.

  “You don’t know if he’s a horny teenager. You haven’t even seen him yet.”

  “He’s fifteen, Lacey. Every male between the age of twelve and forty is constantly horny.”

  My eyes raise. “Forty, huh? Well, Girard, you better make good work of the next ten years seeing as you’re on the downward slope.”

  “Laugh it up, Davis.” He smirks as Alfonso, who has waited on me more than a dozen times before, steps up to our table.

  “Hello, Ms. Lacey. What can I get you to drink?” I’m positive when this kid grows into his own, he’s going to be one hell of a heartbreaker, but thankfully, fifteen-year-olds don’t turn me on.