Living With Doubt (The Regret Series Book 2)

by Riann C. Miller

  19

  Lacey

  Yesterday was officially a day from hell. First, I had court, where my luck apparently had run out—my day was filled with cases that were impossible to win. Then Jordan’s dad called me from her apartment asking if I had any idea where she was, which I didn’t. Jordan and her parents are close, and if Doug Taylor is in New York, then Jordan would be with him.

  As I was leaving the courthouse, I saw the man who’s stopped me twice. He was sitting on a bench more than ten feet away from me, but when I stopped to take him in, he looked up and locked eyes with mine. I raced to the subway, watching my surroundings as closely as possible. When I finally got home, I found Bryan standing outside my apartment door, hoping to score an invite into my home. After I flipped him the bird, I told him to go fuck himself. Apparently, he got the hint and left because I didn’t see him again.

  Only seconds later, Jake arrived in a mood of his own. I knew after the way things ended the night before last that when I saw him again, things could very well become messy, but Jake showing up, exactly when he did, felt like the perfect storm on an already horrible day.

  To top it off, Jordan fell onto my doorstep, literally, drunk off her ass after that jerk of a boyfriend broke up with her…again. I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with that man. I’ve seen him act like a decent human being, then there are times when he turns into an idiot and figures out a way to stomp all over my best friend’s heart.

  Jordan ended up staying the night and her dad came by a few hours ago to pick her up. I hope she finally pulls her head out of her ass and gets over Chase Adams, but I worry that won’t happen. Chase called me a few hours ago from Jake’s phone looking for Jordan. Apparently, he already regrets his decision to dump my best friend.

  My heart jumped in my chest when I saw Jake’s number on my screen. I even answered in a joking way, hoping to lighten the mood between us, but once I found out it was Chase, I was instantly disappointed.

  No matter what lies I tell myself, Jake is starting to take up more space in my head than he should. The man drives me crazy. Batshit fucking crazy but he does it in a way that’s confusing as hell, because when I go any lengthy amount of time without seeing him, I start to crave him, and that reminds me of a different Lacey.

  A Lacey I refuse to be again.

  I jump when I hear a knock. I set my coffee down and walk over to the door. After looking through the peephole, I open the door to a man who makes my mouth water.

  Jake gives me a grave smile before stepping around me and into my apartment. “I booked a flight to San Diego. I leave in a few hours.”

  The air swooshes out of my lungs, only confirming what deep down I already knew…this man means something to me.

  “I have an extra ticket to next Sunday’s game. I want you to come with me.”

  “What game?” I respond. “I thought you said your season was over?”

  He shakes his head with a laugh before reaching out for my hand. “The Super Bowl is a week from tomorrow. I want you to go with me.”

  “Why?”

  His head dips closer to mine. “Most people would die for the chance to go to the Super Bowl, and you just ask me why?”

  “I think we’ve already discovered I’m not most people.”

  “That’s no shit.” He gives my hand another squeeze before releasing it. He holds my stare as awkward silence spreads between us.

  “Look I—”

  “I better get—”

  We both say at the same time. Jake smiles and motions with his hand. “You go first.”

  “I was just going to say I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted the last few times you’ve come to see me.”

  “What do you have to be sorry for?”

  I should have known Jake wouldn’t be the type of man to let me off the hook.

  “I’m not an emotional female.” I roll my eyes with a laugh. “At least I’m not anymore; however, it seems like a lot of things have suddenly changed in my life, and acting out is the only way I’ve ever coped with stress.”

  He warily watches me. “Come to the game with me. Let’s spend a carefree weekend together. Give me the chance to show you a glimpse into my world.”

  I tense. I’ve had a glimpse into his world.

  “My world, Lacey…not that fuckwad who has obviously hurt you in ways I don’t understand. Give me one weekend away from all the shit that haunts you.”

  I haven’t used more than a couple of personal days since I started at my firm, and his offer is tempting. I want to tell him no, but every time I open my mouth, I can’t make the words form; instead, I find myself nodding. The second his face lights up, my answer seems like the correct one.

  “I’ll book your flight and pick you up from the airport.”

  “Wait. Where’s the game?”

  Jake smirks. “My hometown. San Diego.”

  His hometown. A place filled with memories Jake doesn’t want to forget. That’s the complete opposite compared to me, but I have no one to blame but myself.

  “As long as I get Monday off, I’ll be there.”

  His eyes mischievously dance back and forth between mine. “I’m almost kicking myself for booking a flight home today.”

  Me too, but I don’t admit to anything; instead, I do what I seem best at. “If I promise to miss you, will that make your ego feel better?”

  He dramatically shakes his head but he’s wearing a relaxed smile, one that tells me he’s not upset by my comment.

  A few moments pass as we stand a few feet away from each other. He finally clears his throat and closes the distance between us. He reaches for me again and cups the side of my face while he stares down into my eyes.

  “I hope like hell you don’t change your mind.” He rubs his thumb over my cheek and I catch his brown eyes soften. “I’ve learned some things in life are worth taking a chance on. I can’t promise you there won’t be an emergency landing at some point, and things could always go awry, but I can promise you the ride to wherever we’re heading will be worth it.”

  My heart leaps into my throat. I want Jake to be right. Even if I’m correct and he’s not the man for me, I don’t want to end up doubting the time I’ve spent with him…the time I will spend with him, because that’s what I want.

  I tilt my head to the side. “I’m fighting the natural urge to make a sarcastic comment.”

  He busts out laughing before he pulls me into his arms. This time, my heart starts racing for a different reason. “Don’t do that,” he growls. “Don’t get all hot and bothered on me, because I should have left by now.”

  I give him a coy smile before I bat my eyelashes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Instead of answering me, his mouth possessively crashes down onto mine. My body melts into his as his lips dominate mine in a kiss that has my body on fire.

  My hand moves to his belt, but he jumps back. “Oh, no you don’t. I have to get going.”

  I frown, disappointed that he’s about to leave.

  “Next weekend. You’re all mine. Text or call me and tell me how early you can fly out, and I’ll book you the first flight out of town.”

  I silently watch him walk to the door, desperately wishing he’d stay.

  “Next weekend can’t get here soon enough.” Jakes smiles before pulling the door shut.

  “Holy shit,” I mumble to myself before I walk to the bedroom and drop on the bed. I don’t want Jake Girard, but the truth is I don’t want to want Jake Girard—yet I do. The question becomes whether or not I’ll be able to trust a man like him without losing myself in the process.

  20

  Jake

  “You were gone longer than I expected,” Mom says as I grab another coffee mug and pour her a cup.

  “I went to check on Chase.”

  “Oh, that’s right. He lives in New York now, due to some woman?”

  “Not just some woman—the only woman he’s ever loved.”

 
The gleam in Mom’s eyes from seeing me starts to fade away. “If he found someone he feels that way about, then I’m glad he’s pursuing her.”

  I grab my coffee and follow her to the kitchen table. “What about you? Do you think it’s time you finally get out there and explore what the world has to offer?”

  She starts to frown, but I cut her off before she can say anything.

  “Bridgett’s not a kid anymore, or at least that’s what the two of you like to tell me these days. You don’t even need to be working, so maybe it’s time for you to get back out in the game of life again.”

  “I appreciate your concern, Jakey, but I’m very happy living my boring life, waiting for the day my kids settle down and make me a grandmother.”

  “Mom, seriously, you can’t—”

  “Jake,” she snaps, cutting me off. “When you find a love like I had with your father, you don’t get over it. I tried once, and the only good thing that came from it was your sister.”

  I agonize over what to say to her. I love and admire what she shared with my father, but she’s lived over twenty years without a partner. A few months ago—hell, even a few weeks ago—I didn’t think twice about how lonely she must be, but after two weeks with Lacey…everything seems different.

  “I remember the first time I met your father.” She shakes her head with a carefree smile I haven’t seen on her face in years. “We were measurably different. We were actually in line to vote when we somehow started talking about who we were voting for, which was not the same candidate. I was so determined to change your father’s opinion in a matter of only minutes that he didn’t get a word in, and when he didn’t agree to change who he was voting for, I stormed off.”

  I smile from the sight of her obvious happiness, but at the same time, sorrow I haven’t felt in years from losing my dad creeps its way back into my mind. “I don’t think I’ve heard this story before.”

  “You were so young when he died, and honestly, it’s only been in the last few years I’ve learned to think about him without becoming a hot mess. At times, your dad and I couldn’t have been more different if we tried, but there was something between us. I felt it the moment I saw him. I just ignored that spark when I became repulsed by who he was voting for.”

  I laugh, picturing my parents arguing, especially over an election. “I always remember you two getting along.”

  “We did.” She pats my hand. “You don’t have to agree with everything your spouse does to be happy. Not to mention, I learned that sometimes it just takes the right person to balance your life.”

  If I didn’t know better, I’d say someone called my mother and told her exactly how I spent the last two weeks: arguing with a woman who drives me insane. A woman no one else seems to hold a candle to. Hearing my mom’s story only confirms what I already knew—that Lacey Davis is the woman for me. Now I just have to prove the same thing to her.

  “You promise if life becomes too dull for you, you’ll at least consider going out on a damn date?”

  Mom laughs and shakes her head. “Maybe once you settle down I’ll think about it.”

  I laugh inwardly, knowing I’m closer to that goal than my mother could possibly know.

  “I’m actually taking a date with me to the game this Sunday.”

  Her eyes widen in shock. “You’re taking a woman with you to the Super Bowl? Wow…”

  “Oh, come on. You’re acting like I’ve never dated anyone before.”

  “You haven’t, at least no one I’ve met since Alicia.”

  “Right, but I have taken a woman out on a date.”

  “Jake, when you go almost nine years without asking a woman out, it’s like starting over. It becomes a big deal. That’s one of the reasons I have no desire. I know for me it won’t go anywhere, but you have your whole life left to live, so I hope whoever you asked to go with you is someone you’re willing to give a chance.”

  “She is,” I quickly state.

  “Good. I can’t wait to meet her.”

  Oh, shit.

  Of course the Super Bowl is in the same town my family lives in. When I first heard this year’s game would be played at Qualcomm Stadium, I was excited as hell. The Chargers were my dad’s favorite team. When I dreamed of playing professional ball, I was always playing for the Chargers, but that’s not how my dream played out. I thought playing here, in the Super Bowl, would give me the last piece of accomplishment I needed to make my dad proud, and when our chances slowly faded, I felt a hit to my heart, one I didn’t tell anyone about.

  Now, instead of playing in the game, I’m bringing a woman I suddenly fell for, and that in itself feels unbelievable. I might be ready for whatever Lacey is offering, but I have an uneasy feeling about how she’ll react if I ask her to meet my family.

  “Who is this woman and what does she mean to you?” Jack Harvey crosses his arms over his chest, attempting to appear like a badass, but I’m not buying this song and dance for a second.

  “Her name’s Lacey Davis. She’s an attorney who lives in New York, not that you need to know shit. She’s a part of my personal life. I pay you to manage the business side of my career.”

  “Everything you do is my business, Jake.” He narrows his eyes. “Do you really think anyone willing to pay you the kind of money you make wants a player on his team who marries a woman with a shady background?”

  “I’m bringing her to a fucking game. I never said anything about marrying her.”

  “I happen to know you pretty damn well, Girard, and you’d never consider asking someone you weren’t seriously involved with.”

  “I’ve only known her a couple of weeks, so you can back the fuck off.”

  Harvey glares at me but doesn’t say another word.

  “You wanted to talk about my contract, so let’s get to it.”

  With a huff and head shake, he gives up. “I think Steel wants to see how you and Kruse get along. If the two of you have a solid relationship, then the rest of the team will follow your lead.”

  “I like Kruse. I even believe he’ll make for a good QB, but that doesn’t mean we’re friends. If Steel thinks I’m suddenly going to have the same relationship with Kruse that I had with Adams, then he has another thing coming.”

  “No one said you have to be best friends with the man; he just wants to make sure you have a solid connection with him.”

  “And if he decides to replace Kruse with someone else, does he expect me to do the same, because this isn’t my job. I didn’t sign on to be the team’s fucking leader.”

  “Yet you are, Jake.”

  I glance around the coffee shop Harvey asked me to meet him at, trying not to blow up.

  “Bring this woman, make sure you impress Steel, and this contract will be yours.”

  I turn back to Harvey. “What if I want to look into other offers?”

  His face goes red seconds before he comes unglued. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Girard. You threatened to fire my ass if I didn’t get you this deal with the Cards. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

  “I know, but things are different now.”

  Harvey watches me for some kind of a clue, one he must see written on my face. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re rethinking shit because of this woman?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “But you’re not denying it, either.”

  I straighten in my chair with a triumphant smile on my face. “I pay you to do a job. I pay you quite well actually…therefore, I don’t have to justify my actions to you. If I want to look into other contracts, then you’re going to show me every offer you’ve received, and you’ll do it with a fucking smile on your face.”

  I stand up, beyond annoyed that I have to justify anything to a man who makes millions off of me.

  “I’ll see you Sunday.”

  I walk out to my truck and pull out my phone to send Lacey a text.

  Me: Saturday can’t get here soon enough

  I p
ut my truck in drive, already dreading walking into my mom’s empty house. I wish I hadn’t left New York as soon as I did. I thought if I gave Lacey space, she’d come to realize she wants me in her life, but now that we’re thousands of miles apart, my original concern that she’ll long forget about me creeps its way back into my mind. Before I have the chance to pull out onto the street, my phone buzzes with a text.

  Davis: See you in two days

  Tension starts to drain from my body knowing she hasn’t changed her mind. I wanted to book her a flight for Friday, but she told me she couldn’t get out of court in time. Instead, I booked her on the earliest flight I could get on Saturday.

  Normally, when I’m home in the offseason, I fill my nights with old friends, wild parties, and random women, but that’s not how this year has played out. All I want now, is for this week to fly by so I can set my sights on a woman who’s starting to consume my every thought.

  I arrived at the crowded airport much earlier than I needed to. My excitement to see Lacey wouldn’t allow me to sit around my mom’s house and do nothing.

  A voice booms next to me. “You’re Jake Girard.”

  I turn to the person who said my name much louder than necessary, only to find a guy probably close to my age smiling from ear to ear.

  “Yes, I am.” I extend my hand to shake his.

  “Holy shit. This is so awesome.”

  The man picks up a kid who looks young enough to still shit his pants. “This is my son. He sits with me every Sunday during football season. We never miss a Cardinal’s game.”

  “Nice to meet you, little guy.” I grin as the little boy laughs in his dad’s arms.

  “I’m Brady, and this is my son Dylan. I’m originally from Phoenix. We moved out here two years ago, but we still root for the Cards.”