“What?” I shout before glancing one last time at the old house. “How do you know something’s wrong?”
“The fact that I almost got high by the dude opening the door was my first clue, but the track marks down his arms weren’t hard to miss.”
My heart starts to race. “I wonder why Mary, the foster mother, isn’t the one answering the door?”
“That I have no idea about.”
“What did you say to him?”
Jake wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer. “I told him I was selling tickets to a local fundraiser. I asked him if he was interested in buying any or donating money.”
Thoughts of a little girl stuck in a house where a grown man is openly using drugs consume my mind. No wonder Milo’s frightened. How he knew something was wrong is beyond me.
“Hey.” He gently squeezes my shoulder. “We’ll figure something out. I promise.”
I swallow back the lump in my throat, doing everything in my power to keep from crying. “Thank you, Jake.”
I rest my head on his shoulder, allowing his scent to invade my nose, the same smell I’m growing addicted to. The same smell I seek out on the pillow next to mine long after he’s left my apartment. The same smell that almost makes me feel…safe.
“We’re actually scheduled in court on the same day.” I jump when I hear Caleb’s voice behind me.
“Shit, don’t sneak up on me.”
He frowns. “I didn’t. Maybe you should stop living in your own fucking head and fix whatever the fuck is wrong with you.” Caleb rolls his eyes at me when I glare at him. “Seriously, is this attitude still about the football player?”
Just like Cassie, I’ve kept the last few weeks with Jake a secret from everyone. I love how he shows up at my apartment. Truth be told, I’ve grown to look forward to seeing him as the weekend rolls around, but I’m still not ready to admit my feelings to Jake—or anyone else for that matter.
“I was actually thinking about a little girl living in foster care out in Queens.”
Jake told me he was going to see what he could do to help Cassie, whatever that means. Meanwhile, I called the local police again, only to be told the same thing. How Jake could smell pot so quickly when the police can’t find anything wrong, baffles me.
“You were given a foster care case?”
“No,” I grumble, knowing I’ve already opened a door I should have kept closed.
“I had a man stop me and tell me his granddaughter was in trouble, but I can’t seem to find anything wrong.”
“Lace, what were you thinking?”
We were schooled by our firm to never take on a case that wasn’t assigned to us. Working in pro bono, you’ll find thousands of people looking for lawyers who can’t afford to pay. However, there’s a system in place, and begging a lawyer outside the courtroom isn’t something our firm tolerates.
“I don’t know, okay?”
I can’t tell Caleb the truth, that Milo followed me around, that he scared the ever-loving shit out of me on more than one occasion, or he’d flip out even more than he already has.
“Lace, call social services. Tell them whatever it is you know and let them handle it. Nothing good will come from you playing detective.”
“We’re talking about a two-year-old little girl, Caleb. What if she is in some kind of trouble?”
“Then make the call. Let the proper authorities take care of it but, Lace, that person is not you.”
“I already have,” I mumble.
“Then wash your hands of this. You’ve done all you can.”
“Fine,” I whisper, my voice barely detectable.
“Good. Come on, we can ride to the courthouse together.”
I follow Caleb out to the underground parking garage while my mind remains focused on Cassie.
“What have you decided about Girard?” he questions the second I’m trapped inside his car.
“I don’t know,” I mumble.
“Why is it so hard to admit you have feelings for him?”
When I glance at Caleb, the concern I see on his face is evident. “I have feelings for him. There…are you happy?” I snap.
His eyes widen before he gives me a huge smile. “Yes, I’m unbelievably happy.”
I shake my head and turn my eyes toward the window.
“Have you told Jordan yet?”
“Told her what?”
“That you’re dating her man’s best friend?”
“No,” I shout. “And we’re not dating. We’re just seeing each other.”
“You’re still seeing him, huh?” he playfully questions.
Lady Gaga’s new song comes on the radio. I lean forward and turn the volume up, making it clear I’m done with our conversation.
26
Jake
Before I left New York, I hired a professional to look into the little girl living in Queens. The man who greeted me last weekend was definitely a druggie. His eyes were bloodshot, his arms were bruised, and he had no idea what the hell he was saying. The thought of any child being in that house has haunted me since the cab pulled away, but I played the situation down as much as possible. The last thing I want is Lacey to get a wild hair up her ass and decide to return without me.
I was told I’d have a report in two to three business days, and depending on what I find out, I might return to New York before the weekend. However, before I can do that, I have another appointment with Harvey.
I have several decent offers on the table. One is even with the Washington Redskins, but my stomach turns thinking about giving up my team for a woman who won’t admit her feelings for me. I’m breaking her down, I can tell that much, but in the end, I need to know if she’s going to accept what I’m offering. If she won’t, then I’d rather stay put, but what Harvey tried to pull with Kruse still pisses me off.
I like Kyle Kruse, I even think he’ll make for a great QB for Arizona, but his contract and salary have nothing to do with mine. Harvey allowed Steel to lowball my contract by trying to finagle the both together. I’m not even pissed about the money. I’d play for the same amount of money as my original contract, and I’d play with the same amount of passion. But I fucking loathe the idea of being used. Harvey was using me like a pawn in his own game to make money.
“Mr. Harvey is ready to see you now.” I jump to my feet, ready to take on the world, and hopefully, ensure I get to keep the girl in the process.
“Well, how did it go?” Mom questions the second I walk through the door.
“I officially signed with Arizona.” Dread continues to settle into my thoughts.
“How wonderful. I’m so happy you got exactly what you wanted.”
I shrug and walk to the living room where I drop down onto the couch.
“What’s the matter? We should be celebrating, but you look like you’re ready for a funeral.”
I can feel my mother staring at me while my decision continues to weigh heavily on my mind. “I think I made a mistake,” I whisper.
She walks over and takes a seat next to me. “Why would you say that?”
“When Steel found out I was seriously looking at other offers, he gave me what I wanted, so I signed.”
Her forehead wrinkles in confusion. “And that’s no longer what you want?”
I sigh. “I don’t know.”
My passion for football will probably never die, but for the first time in my life, I feel just as passionate about something else…about someone else.
“Jakey, talk to me,” she pleads.
I rub my hands over my face. “I think Lacey will use this as an excuse to finally be done with me. She kept saying we live in two different worlds. I live too far away, and the fucked-up part is, I get it. She’s right.” I jump to my feet and start pacing the room. “She works five days a week at a law firm that’s not going to consistently give her time off. I’ve been flying back and forth for weeks now, but that’s not going to work when the season starts. I won’t get
to see her for at least six months out of the year unless she comes to me, but she can’t or she won’t.” My voice rose with each word until my face is red with anger.
“But you signed anyway?” Mom questions.
I blow out a frustrated breath as guilt begins to consume me. “Yes. Harvey brought me a contract for the amount he originally promised they’d offer. Washington was the only contract close to it.”
Washington DC.
I could have been only hours from her, and I signed with Arizona for a fucking pipe dream. Some insipid idea of retiring with the only team that’s felt like family. Simply for a few extra million in my already healthy savings account.
“Jake.” Mom’s voice sounds strained, but she begs me with her eyes to listen to her. “Love is rarely kind. Love can make you rethink everything about your life. But love—true love—is sometimes impossible to find.”
I feel a sharp pain in my chest as she continues to stare at me.
“No matter the outcome, when you fall in love with someone, it’s always worth it.”
I know she has to be talking about my father, her one true love in this lifetime.
“I don’t even know if I’m in love with her.” I feel like I am, but I don’t fucking know.
“Oh, Jakey.” She gives me a look of pity. “Of course you love her. You wouldn’t feel this way if you didn’t.”
Her words hit me harder than any linebacker could have. “I haven’t known her that long—”
“Jake, it’s not a matter of how long you’ve known someone. I fell in love with your father in a matter of days. That’s why you’re upset about this contract—you’re worried about your future with the woman you love.”
I painfully close my eyes.
“Don’t let this contract be the death of your relationship.”
I open my eyes and look at my mom, who’s wearing a huge smile.
“Love this girl the way you love football. Give her everything you have, because if you do, she won’t be able to walk away from you.”
I’m not as sold that Lacey will ever be mine, but my mom’s right. I still have a few months before the new season starts to make her mine. To make her see how amazing we are together. To get her to trust me…to make her fall in love with me.
“I don’t think I’m going to wait until the weekend to fly to New York.”
Mom smiles again. “Good. I think New York is exactly where you should be.”
I still randomly send Lacey goofy texts, and she continues to ignore me. I sent my last text over an hour ago. What Lacey doesn’t know is I sent it while standing outside her apartment door. My plane landed in New York a couple of hours ago. I took my time getting to her apartment, hoping she’d be home from work by the time I arrived, but luck wasn’t on my side. Instead, I’ve stood in her dimly lit and fairly cold hallway for over two hours waiting on her to come home. I had to force thoughts about where she could be or who she might be with out of my head. I pull my phone out of my pocket, ready to text her again, when I hear her intoxicating voice.
“Jake?”
My eyes quickly land on her tired blue ones. I scan her body from top to bottom, taking everything in.
“What are you doing here?”
I shrug. “I was in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by to say hi.”
She watches me without saying anything, until she finally unlocks her door. She pushes it open and waits for me to go inside. “After you.” I motion with my hand for her to go ahead of me, which she does.
When I step inside, a peace washes over me. I’ve come to love her small, crummy place. This is where we first had sex. This is where I started to fall in love with her, and as crappy as this apartment is, it will always hold memories for me.
“Did you find anything out about Cassie?”
I sigh. “No, not yet.”
She frowns. Concern for this little girl seems to be getting the best of her.
“I should know something by tomorrow.”
“The police claim they went by and checked on things and didn’t see any reason to be alarmed.” She opens her fridge and grabs two beers, asking, “Are you hungry?” while handing me one.
“I could eat. How about you?”
“I met Jordan for dinner.”
“Chase called and told me they’re getting married.”
Lacey groans with frustration. “Don’t remind me. There’s still plenty of time for Chase to do something to screw it up.”
“Maybe he won’t. He’s been in love with Jordan since before the day I met him.”
Her blue eyes thin as she takes a step in my direction. “He sure has a fucked-up way of expressing his love.”
I reach out and slide my free hand around her waist. “Sometimes life doesn’t play out the way we’d expect.” My hand roams down until I squeeze her ass and pull her tightly against my chest. “But people usually learn the greatest lessons after their biggest fall.”
Her eyes darken as she watches me. “You sound like a damn greeting card.”
I place my beer on the table next to me before taking hers and doing the same. “I’m attempting to make you mine.”
The amusement on her face fades as she processes what I said.
I wrap my hands around her neck, relishing in the warmth of her smooth skin. “You can continue to fight this, or you can do us both a favor and give in.” I move my mouth down until my lips meet hers. My tongue battles with hers for control until she finally relents and sags into my body.
She groans with desire as our kiss deepens. “I want you,” she mumbles when we break apart.
“I know you do.” I arch a brow, challenging her to admit she only wants me for sex.
“Always so cocky.”
“I’ll show you my cock, baby.”
I catch her when she jumps up, wrapping her long legs around my waist. “All talk and no play makes for a bitchy Lacey.”
I turn and walk us to the bedroom as her blue eyes sparkle with desire.
“Only dirty talk from here on out, starting now.”
My lip twitches. “Take your clothes off…slowly.”
I take a seat in the chair next to the bed, daring her with my stare to deny me. With a dramatic roll of her eyes, she starts unbuttoning her shirt, exposing a sheer black bra. Next, she slips her skirt down her legs, gifting me the view of her matching panties and garter belt.
“Fuck. You wear the sexiest damn underwear. It’s a good thing I showed up, it would have been a damn shame to let this view go to waste.”
Lacey reaches around her back and unclasps her bra, letting it fall to the floor. My eyes lock on her breasts until I notice her hand slowly slide down her stomach, and then she reaches inside her panties and starts touching herself.
“What are you doing?” I pant as my dick becomes painfully hard.
“I’m horny and I need to come. If you’re going to sit over there by yourself, then I’m going to get myself off.”
Adrenaline pumps through my veins and forces me to my feet. “Oh, you’re going to come all right, but not with your fucking hand.”
I pull my shirt off and make quick work of my pants. Lacey watches me with lust-filled eyes as I grab a condom before yanking her panties down her legs.
“Ride me,” I demand as I lie back on her bed.
Lacey licks her lips, takes the condom out of my hand, and rolls it down my impossibly hard cock.
She climbs up my body, straddling me before sinking down onto my dick. We both groan before she starts bouncing up and down.
“You feel so fucking amazing,” I growl as she stares down at me. Lacey is a woman who knows what she wants, and she’s not afraid to take exactly what she needs—but she surprisingly gives in to my demands without hesitation. I’d like to think that’s something she does just for me.
“Pinch your nipples.” I grin as she does exactly what I command.
I can feel my balls tightening with need. The feeling paired with the view is more
than my dick can handle. I start rubbing her clit, hurrying her along.
“Oh shit,” she pants seconds before I feel her tighten around me.
Once she starts to come down from her orgasmic high, I grip her waist and start thrusting upward, chasing my own release that comes several long moments later.
Lacey drops onto my chest as my hands softly rub up and down her back.
This right here is what I want. With her laying on me, I don’t give a shit about contracts or jobs. I don’t give a fuck where I live, I just want to keep this…forever.
27
Lacey
“Don’t get up,” Jake mumbles as he wraps his arm tighter around my waist.
The room is still dark and my body aches to stay snuggled up next to him, but I can’t.
“I have to go to work.”
“Fuck work. I’m going to look into buying an island where you and I can live and never have to work another day.”
“If I didn’t have to be in court today, I’d be tempted to say fuck it and stay here with you, but all hell would break loose if our firm didn’t have someone down at the courthouse, and calling in at the last minute is a sure way of getting fired.”
Jake sighs before he loosens his grip on my waist. I climb out of the bed and walk to the bathroom, where I take a hot but quick shower. By the time I get back to my room, Jake is sitting up in nothing more than a pair of boxer briefs with his phone to his ear.
“Okay. Yes, call me when you know more.” He looks up, deep lines of concern sketched across his forehead.
“What’s going on?”
“That was the man I hired to check on things regarding the little girl.”
My heart starts to race. “Well? What did he say?”
“Mary Ownings, the foster mother, has been in and out of the hospital for months. She’s had problems with her heart or something like that. Her son, Ronnie Ownings, has been living with her and helping her take care of the kids.”
Living With Doubt (The Regret Series Book 2) Page 20