Procrastination

by Jane B. Burka

  Now you’re ready to move to the next step in the change process, learning and practicing techniques that can actually end procrastination. Whether you are able to use these techniques immediately or you struggle to implement them, you are engaging in a process of understanding more about your procrastination and getting to a place where procrastination doesn’t run your life. Remember, repetition is important, and every step matters in changing your brain. So hang in there. Don’t give up!

  11

  Taking Stock

  A Procrastination Inventory

  An essential step toward managing procrastination is taking stock of your own personal way of postponing. Although most procrastinators are used to living with delay, they usually don’t think much about it except to wish it would go away! It helps to look at your procrastination as if you were an objective observer: you’re not judging. You’re just taking inventory, trying to become more aware of your own experience with procrastination.

  EXAMINE YOUR WAR STORIES

  Think back to times when you put something off. The incidents may have happened two hours ago or two years ago; they may have been catastrophic, or perhaps they wouldn’t seem significant to someone else. Sometimes a situation that appears innocuous on the surface can have great emotional impact. Here are a couple of our stories.

  Two years after the original deadline, the first edition of Procrastination was finally completed and ready to deliver to the publisher. Our editor came to Berkeley from Boston, and we went out to lunch to celebrate. After lunch, she took a cab to the airport, and we walked to Jane’s car—but it wasn’t there. First, Jane had the horrible thought that her car had been stolen. Then, with sickening awareness, she realized that it had most likely been towed. Jane sank down on the curb in a daze. Not only had her car been towed, but she realized there were two possible reasons: she had a pile of unpaid parking tickets, and her annual car registration was overdue. The irony was overwhelming: this occurred on the day we had toasted our book on procrastination! So much for celebration. All the excitement, pleasure, and relief were wiped out and immediately replaced by feelings of self-hate and humiliation.

  As a graduate student, Lenora, on impulse, bought a tape deck for her tiny San Francisco apartment. Just after bringing it home, her friend Rickie called to say that she could get a great deal on a tape deck, one of better quality for less money. Who could resist an offer like that? So Rickie brought the better tape deck over, helped Lenora set it up, and all was well—except the tape deck Lenora bought remained in an unopened box on the floor just inside the door. Lenora planned to return it, of course, but the seven-day return period came and went; then the fourteen-day exchange period passed. She never had enough time; before she could return the tape deck, she needed to go to the library (remember, no computers, no Internet!) to research (thoroughly) Consumer Reports to figure out what to exchange it for. Then she needed all day to take the box back to the store. Who has that kind of time?

  Soon it had been a month, then two, then three. Every time Lenora entered or left her apartment, there was the unopened box, waiting by the door. As the weeks and months passed, going in and out of the apartment became more and more of an ordeal. Lenora heard an increasingly harsh refrain, “What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you do this one simple thing?” On the surface, returning the tape deck seemed a small thing. Inside, Lenora was haunted by feelings of guilt, dread, anxiety, and total incompetence every time she walked into and out of her apartment.

  Write down two or three of the experiences you remember best. What happened? Who was involved in the incident? What led up to your procrastinating? How did you feel? What was the eventual outcome? Was anyone else hurt or inconvenienced? Now ask yourself if there are any common themes or patterns among them. What might you have been afraid of?

  When Lenora was finally able to calm herself down enough to think through her situation objectively, she decided to take the tape deck back to the store when she had a free hour, even though she hadn’t touched a single issue of Consumer Reports. Heart pounding, mind rehearsing dramatic excuses for being six months past the return date, she walked up to the door and was met by the same forceful, intimidating saleswoman who had sold her the tape deck in the first place. “Would you like to return that?” the woman asked. “Yes,” said Lenora. “OK, I’ll write a return slip for you.” It was only at this unexpected, anticlimactic moment that Lenora realized that she had been terrified of facing this woman again, imagining the woman’s contempt: “You’re so capricious! Don’t you ever think before you act?” Though she hadn’t thought about it consciously for years, this was a refrain she’d heard in her childhood that made her feel stupid and ashamed. No wonder she had put off going back to the store! And this realization also helped Lenora understand why, when she later faced the prospect of writing this book, her first reaction was, “How could I possibly write a book? I can’t think!”

  EXTERNAL AND INTERNAL CONSEQUENCES

  Procrastination has consequences. Sometimes the consequences are obvious to you and everyone else: the car that runs out of gas in the middle of the freeway, the woman who is fired because of chronic lateness, the garage filled with half-completed projects, the boxes still unpacked from the move ten years ago, and Jane’s car being towed. These are examples of external consequences.

  There are internal consequences as well. These can include feelings of inadequacy, sadness, guilt, fraudulence, panic, and a sense of never really being free to enjoy the pleasures of living. Lenora suffered great angst every time she saw the unopened box beside her apartment door. A procrastinator may appear to be successful, competent, talented, intelligent, and generous, but the internal consequences of procrastination place a tremendous strain on any life and undermine feelings of confidence and satisfaction.

  Consider the following list. Which consequences apply to you? Are there others?

  CONSEQUENCES

  External

  monetary loss

  losing a job

  lowered grades

  incomplete academic or

  training program

  lost opportunities

  conflict with manager, co-workers

  decreased job responsibilities

  lowered credit rating

  tension with family or friends

  accidents or physical injury

  loss of friendships

  marital separation or divorce

  governmental penalties

  (e.g., tax fines, parking tickets)

  avoiding romantic relationships

  calls from creditors

  excess use of substances

  (alcohol, prescription and non-

  prescription drugs, illegal drugs)

  Internal

  self-criticism

  embarrassment or shame

  anxiety, dread

  lack of concentration

  guilt

  inability to enjoy other

  activities

  feeling of fraudulence

  tension, physical pain

  panic

  depression

  sense of excitement or thrill

  physical exhaustion, stress

  physical illness

  insomnia, other sleep

  problems

  denial

  feeling incompetent

  feeling constantly hounded

  by your “to do” list

  last-minute “brain lock”

  feeling isolated, alienated

  Now that you have reviewed your procrastinating behavior and its consequences, notice how you feel. Sad? Angry? Relieved? Sobered? If you are caught up in berating yourself for your stupidity, moral weakness, or lack of character, try to step back and quiet your internal critic. Use your defense attorney to find a compassionate voice. Try to consider what you can learn from your experience.

  YOUR PROCRASTINATION TODAY

  Areas of Procrastination

  Some people procrastinate in onl
y one specific area of their lives and in every other area do just fine. A woman who was married, had two children, and a full-time job was very efficient at work and in organizing the household, but she could not keep up with her e-mail. She felt so overwhelmed whenever she saw how many messages were waiting that she avoided opening her inbox. Other people procrastinate in almost every aspect of their lives. An airline pilot in his forties didn’t pay his taxes for years, put off necessary home and car repairs, didn’t make minimum credit card payments, never developed a lasting relationship with a woman, and planned for years to stop smoking.

  It is rare to find a procrastinator who puts things off in every area of his life. Even the pilot was always on time for work, and he did make it through flight school. It’s important to remember that no procrastinator is hopeless, including you. However pervasive your procrastination is, it doesn’t affect every aspect of your life.

  To help distinguish between those areas in which you procrastinate and those in which you don’t, we’ve compiled a checklist of activities grouped into six categories: household, work, school, personal care, social relationships, and finances. We bet you’ll find that no matter how extensive your procrastination is, when you take a closer look, you’ll see that you procrastinate selectively.

  Household

  __ day-to-day chores (e.g., dishes, cleaning, recycling, laundry, changing the cat box, garden or yard maintenance)

  __ minor home projects or repairs

  __ calling a repairman, contractor, landscaper, housecleaner

  __ returning defective or unwanted merchandise

  __ large home or yard projects

  __ car maintenance and repairs

  __ opening mail or filing papers

  __ shopping for groceries or supplies

  __ making decisions

  __ throwing out newspapers, magazines, and other stuff

  __ unpacking

  __ upgrading computer security or software

  __ Other ________________________________

  Work (Paid or Volunteer)

  __ being on time for work or for meetings

  __ handling business phone calls, e-mails, and text messages

  __ learning new skills

  __ implementing new ideas

  __ making decisions

  __ doing administrative and bookkeeping chores

  __ writing reports or spreadsheets, designing a presentation

  __ confronting someone about a problem

  __ complimenting someone

  __ billing clients or submitting receipts for reimbursement

  __ asking for a raise or promotion

  __ doing research, strategic planning, or work-related reading

  __ arranging a meeting with your manager

  __ looking for a job, planning a career direction, networking

  __ Other_______________________________

  School

  __ attending classes

  __ doing homework assignments, studying for tests, writing papers

  __ talking with a teacher or advisor

  __ applying to college or for financial aid

  __ doing bureaucratic tasks (paying fees, buying textbooks, etc.)

  __ completing degree requirements

  __ choosing a major

  __ studying for entrance exams

  __ reading the syllabus to find out when assignments are due

  __ getting together with other students

  __ calling, writing, or visiting home

  __ looking for employment or internship opportunities

  __ applying for special programs

  __ Other _____________________________________

  Personal Care

  __ getting physical exercise

  __ losing weight

  __ stopping smoking or use of alcohol or drugs

  __ making (and keeping) medical or dental appointments

  __ personal hygiene (brushing your teeth, getting haircuts)

  __ filling prescriptions

  __ shopping for new clothes

  __ cleaning out your closet

  __ taking clothes to cleaners or to be altered

  __ pursuing hobbies or doing personal reading

  __ pursuing meaningful activities—service projects, helping others, spiritual growth, adult education courses

  __ planning for and taking vacations

  __ making long-term life decisions

  __ setting up your will or medical power of attorney

  __ Other __________________________________

  Social Relationships

  __ staying in touch with friends, personal correspondence

  __ asking someone for a date

  __ inviting people to your home

  __ visiting, calling, or writing relatives

  __ planning recreational activities with other people

  __ expressing appreciation or giving gifts to others

  __ being on time for social events or meetings with friends

  __ asking for help or support

  __ confronting someone about a problem

  __ ending an unsatisfying relationship

  __ Other_________________________________

  Finances

  __ filing taxes on time

  __ organizing receipts and tax records

  __ finding an accountant

  __ making a budget, tracking expenditures

  __ making financial investments

  __ contacting the bank or credit card company about a problem

  __ paying rent or mortgage

  __ paying bills, credit card debt, insurance premiums

  __ paying parking ticket fines

  __ paying back institutional or personal loans

  __ collecting debts owed to you

  __ submitting insurance claims for reimbursement

  __ balancing your checkbook or monitoring online bank statements

  __ opening mail from your bank, mortgage, or investment company,

  __ checking your credit rating

  __ Other____________________________________

  In each area, consider how much your delaying bothers you. The areas in which you procrastinate most extensively may or may not be causing you the most trouble. For instance, you may be in the habit of leaving dirty dishes for several days in a row, but a sink full of dishes may not bother you. However, even though the problem arises only periodically, you may be very upset about your tendency to put off buying cards and gifts for friends and relatives and not acknowledging them on special occasions.

  Think about what differentiates the things you put off from the things you do on time. What themes or patterns do you observe? What do they tell you about your procrastination? Do you put off minor chores, or do you postpone the most important things? Do you put off doing things for yourself, but not for others? Are the activities you put off in areas where you’re expected to excel or areas where you have little experience? Are you aware of any fears or anxieties about the things you postpone?

  Your Style of Procrastinating

  People procrastinate in very different ways. One person may spend a lot of time on the telephone and never get around to cleaning the house, while someone else may vacuum twice a day instead of returning phone calls. A woman goes sailing for the weekend, whereas a young man sits indoors at his computer fantasizing about being a successful professional, a talented athlete, or a Don Juan. There are thousands of things people do when they procrastinate: procrastinators are very creative. Here are a few examples:I raid the refrigerator.

  I read mystery novels and science fiction.

  I start calling my friends.

  I read my e-mail, surf the Web, blog, or text my friends.

  I work on something that’s less important.

  I become obsessed with cleaning my desk.

  I go to the gym.

  I sit and stare.

  I keep doing research.

  I watch TV, download music, watch movies, read the news.
r />   I go to sleep.

  I go shopping.

  I go to a café with my computer, but I end up talking to people.