Procrastination

by Jane B. Burka

  Set a Regular Time. Have a set time each day (or week) to take care of routine tasks or activities.8 Set up regular exercise times with a friend, a trainer, or in a class, so you don’t have to debate with yourself each time you consider breaking a sweat. Pick a time to sort your mail and throw away junk mail (without looking at it); even if you can’t think of a regular time to do it, think of an activity you do regularly that you might use to “piggyback” your mail sorting; for example, you could decide that every time you take out the trash or recycling, you’ll sort your mail first. If you have routines for taking care of these activities, you’ll be much less likely to put off doing them.

  KEEP IT SHORT

  For ADD, shorter is better than longer, because it’s more realistic. If that’s how your attention works, so be it. Make “short” your ally in getting things done.

  Use One Minute. Do very small bits of your task in very small bits of time. Instead of following our standard recommendation to spend fifteen minutes taking a step toward your goal, spend one minute. Yes, you can do something even in just one minute.9 Pick a piece of clothing up off the floor and put it away. Throw away something, anything, from one of your piles. (If you pick out and discard one item from a pile each time you pass by, you’ll be surprised how quickly the pile shrinks!) Send a quick text message or e-mail to stay in touch with a friend or relative. Wash a dish. Write a check. Open your résumé file and just look quickly at the last version. Open a box in the garage, but don’t even think about sorting—just see what’s inside.

  Think Like a Waiter.10 Keep moving. Clean up as you go. Clear off the dirty dishes before putting the next course on the table. This is one way to make use of your fast-moving brain, and it will help keep you from becoming completely overwhelmed by the accumulation of stuff, both literal and figurative. When something comes in, handle it right away, and then get rid of it. Move on to the next thing. Don’t let to-do items sit on your “waiter’s table” like the cold, crusted-over remains of a customer’s dinner.

  DON’T TRY TO GET GOOD AT WHAT YOU’RE BAD AT. GET BETTER AT WHAT YOU’RE GOOD AT.

  This is important advice from Ned Hallowell and coauthor John Ratey.11 Nothing is more frustrating and demoralizing than trying to make yourself do something that your brain just doesn’t do well. Many procrastinators long to be self-disciplined, like people they see around them who do what they need to do, even when they don’t want to do it. Procrastinators try over and over, disappointed with themselves when they “fail,” feeling that if they simply tried harder, then they would be like everybody else. While we certainly wouldn’t advocate throwing in the towel every time something is hard for you, it is important to be able to recognize the reality of your limits (like Jane’s .03 percentile on spatial relations). If your brain is highly distractible and self-discipline is always a struggle, perhaps there are better ways to get some things done than trying to get yourself to be what you aren’t.

  Delegate, Delegate, Delegate. Find partners whose strengths complement yours, so they can do (and enjoy) the things that are hard for you, and vice versa. One man is terrific at generating ideas and finding ways to connect people to one another, but he’s terrible at following through on the details to bring his ideas to fruition. He’s found his place in a marketing firm, meeting new clients and coming up with wonderfully creative, “out of the box” ideas. But other people follow up and figure out how to implement the ideas the clients like best.

  You might even hire people to do things you have trouble with, like one procrastinator who drove himself crazy for years trying to get his taxes in order. Although he is an intellectual powerhouse with an international reputation, he could never find all the receipts, tax papers, and financial documents he needed to give to his accountant, and every year he agonized, looking in drawers (office, kitchen, clothing, any type of drawer), shoeboxes, clothes’ pockets, folders, files, and piles throughout his house. He never knew if he’d gotten everything, so he lived in dread of finding an errant receipt or 1099 form tucked away in a jacket pocket. This struggle filled him with shame. He finally decided to bite the bullet and hire a bookkeeper. He now throws all financial papers (including receipts) into a single box, and once a month, the bookkeeper stops by his house, takes the box, and sorts, organizes, and records everything. It costs him the price of a nice dinner each month, but it’s well worth it. He lives with a feeling of lightness that he hasn’t experienced for decades.

  Just be “Good Enough” at Organization. Getting organized is an issue that brings many procrastinators (with or without ADD) to a grinding halt. The alluring vision of the perfectly ordered office, the ready-to-entertain-guests-at-a-moment’s-notice home, or the show-off-to-the-neighbors spotless garage can tie you up in knots so quickly that you never get to the projects that make working in that office or living in that home worthwhile. Ned Hallowell borrows psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott’s concept of the “good enough mother”12 and applies it to organization: You don’t have to be perfect; you only have to be good enough, doing just enough organizing to allow your life to work reasonably well. So rather than spending (wasting?) lots of time researching the ideal organizing system and figuring out how to implement it perfectly, make sure you have places for the really important stuff, that you have routines for handling that really important stuff, and then don’t panic if you can’t see the top of your desk for a while.

  What Are You Good At? Whether or not you have ADD or ED, think about your strengths, about what you’re good at. Are you a creative thinker? Someone who’s good at synthesizing ideas? A good storyteller? Good with kids? Great with dogs? Able to find your way in unfamiliar places without a map? Think, too, about what you love to do. What energizes you and fills you with joy? Dancing to funky music? A hard-fought game of tennis? Winning an important account for your company? Trying out new recipes and having friends over for dinner? Talking to people and finding out what makes them tick? (That’s something we love!) Whatever it is, do more of it. Find your strengths and follow them. Get better at the things you like and do well. Fill your life with people and activities that make you happy and give you a sense of meaning, purpose, and connection to the larger world around you.

  As Hallowell says, managing ADD (and, we would add, procrastination) is not just a matter of figuring out where you’re having trouble and figuring out how to cope with that. It’s also a matter of figuring out how to live joyfully.13 We couldn’t agree more.

  17

  Neither Here nor There

  Procrastination and the

  Cross-Cultural Experience

  If you have moved from one culture to another, there are special pressures that may contribute to your procrastination. In this chapter, we consider issues that are pertinent to cultural changes and ask you to think about how these issues might apply to you. We’ll also offer some additional suggestions that may help you counter the pull of procrastination.

  In making a cultural shift, people may move from one country to another. They may also move from one socioeconomic or educational class to another, such as those who are first in their family or community to attend college, referred to as “first-generation college students.” These changes involve complex psychological, social, and emotional experiences that pose multiple challenges. Some people respond to this extra layer of pressure and complexity by procrastinating and avoiding experiences that would further distress or overwhelm them.

  THE IMMIGRANT EXPERIENCE

  Alexi is a Russian physicist who immigrated to the United States ten years ago. Unable to find a job in his profession, he works as a computer software designer. He is unhappy with his job but needs a steady income, and it’s difficult to get a new job when he is competing with native speakers who have made connections through school or work. He complains, “This work is not challenging and it’s not what I’m trained to do. My manager is twenty years younger than I am and knows a lot less than I do. I don’t take this job seriously, so I’m always l
ate.” Alexi feels powerless about his work situation, which is affected by his immigrant status, and his procrastination reflects his dissatisfaction and allows him to feel he has some measure of control.

  If you are an immigrant or the child of immigrants, you are part of a large wave of migration. As globalization extends its reach, more and more people are moving from one country to another; in 2006, approximately 200 million people lived for at least one year outside their country of origin.1 The global workforce quadrupled between 1980 and 2008.2 In 2005, one in eight people in the United States was an immigrant; by 2050, it is estimated that ratio will increase to nearly one in five.3 The United States is experiencing the largest wave of immigration in its history. Distinct from past waves of immigration, the current one is bringing many who are highly educated to our shores. Between 1995 and 2005, immigrants founded or co-founded 25 percent of all high-tech companies, and since 2000 foreign graduate students have outnumbered U.S.-born students in the fields of engineering, physical sciences, and math.4 In 2006, the University of California found that 54 percent of all students had a parent who was born in another country, and at UC-Berkeley and UCLA over one-fourth of the students were immigrants themselves.5

  While immigrants can have a vast range of experiences, all share the experience of leaving behind a homeland.6 Some leave the homeland temporarily to attend school or to work on a specific project for a limited time. Others move permanently and may never again return to live at home. Some people leave their home country voluntarily, legally or illegally; some leave in fear, as refugees, to escape poverty or religious, ethnic, or political persecution. Some families immigrate together; more often families split up. While some immigrants are highly educated and come from economically advantaged backgrounds, others have only known poverty and come to the new country with little or no education. Many face a language barrier; all face the challenge of adapting to a new culture with different social rules, different family norms, different expectations about work, and different perspectives about time and timeliness.

  The closer you are to the actual immigration event, the greater the adjustment to the new country and culture, and the greater the potential conflict between the language, rituals, and values of the old country and those of the new. Whether you are an immigrant or the child or grandchild of immigrants, issues of adjustment, acculturation, and assimilation play a role in your sense of who you are, how you approach life, your sense of belonging, how you think of yourself in relation to the culture in which you now live and work, and your attitudes toward timeliness and asking for help. These issues and attitudes affect the likelihood that you will procrastinate.

  THE FIRST-GENERATION COLLEGE STUDENT EXPERIENCE

  Like immigrants, first-generation college students enter a new culture when they step onto a college campus. If you’ve grown up in a world in which no one has gone to college, then you may as well be going to another country when you go to college. You are, in essence, an immigrant. And, as is true for immigrants, it’s easy to feel that you are different from others, leading to doubts about whether you really belong.7 Even if you were the smartest kid in your high school, if your school was in a disadvantaged neighborhood, you may find that you are no longer at the top of the heap; in fact, you may struggle just to stay in the heap.8 You may not realize that this recalibration of self in relation to a more selective pool of competitive students is a nearly universal experience for college freshmen: everyone has to face a new distribution of talent and find a new place among the others. For first-generation students, the adjustment to increased competition in college may be much more intense.

  Most first-generation students do not have the same level of academic and social preparation for college as those whose parents attended college and enjoyed the benefits that higher education can bring: higher income, professional career tracks, work habits and study skills that are important for college success, knowledge of “the system,” and a network of interpersonal connections that opens doors and creates opportunities.9 And although your parents may encourage you, support you, and feel proud of you, they may not know how to help you make your way in this environment, which is like a foreign country to them. All of a sudden, you’re a stranger in a strange land.

  Paolo was the only child of working-class parents who had not attended college. In classes with students from prep schools who were taking notes on the latest laptop, he felt surrounded by education and privilege; he was intimidated but intrigued by these new surroundings. Wanting to fit in left him feeling neglectful of his parents. He began to procrastinate on his schoolwork for the first time.

  We can see how easy it is for first-generation students to begin a pattern of avoidance: holding onto ties to old relationships, yet wanting to develop new ones creates uncertainty, confusion, and guilt. In addition, the less you’re academically prepared, the harder the tasks will be; the harder the tasks, the more aversive they feel—and the more aversive the tasks, the more likely you are to procrastinate, especially if there’s no one you feel you can call on to help you figure things out. It’s no surprise, then, that first-generation students are more likely to withdraw or repeat courses than others, and they are far less likely to complete an undergraduate degree than other students.10

  CHALLENGES OF CHANGING CULTURES

  Loss. People who move from one culture to another, for whatever reason and with whatever hopes and dreams for a new life, always leave a lot behind. They leave a homeland along with an identity associated with that home place. They leave behind family, friends, pets, neighbors, colleagues, and all the years of familiar social support these people provide. They leave behind familiar institutions and ways of navigating through them—everything from how you pursue education to how you get a job, from how you shop for clothing and groceries to how you pay taxes or deal with the police. They leave behind their language, food, climate, and music. They leave behind traditions and values that are known, supported, and shared by an entire culture. Moving away marks a significant break from the past, and although there may be many positive feelings associated with the move, there are also significant feelings of loss. This is true whether you leave a country, a state, a city, or a neighborhood.

  The sense of loss may be intense if the people who remain behind are unable to relate to the person’s experiences in the new culture. It’s difficult to understand a different world if you’ve never been there. For the first-generation student, this may mean that relationships with old friends and family seem strained and awkward; people back home might say, “You’ve changed,” maybe even, “You’re pretty full of yourself these days.” It may be harder to relate to each other or find shared interests. There may be uncomfortable feelings on both sides—guilt, envy, a feeling of abandonment, a sense of growing distance.

  Wherever there is awkwardness and discomfort, there lurks the possibility of procrastination: students may put off contact with family members and old friends. They may also procrastinate on schoolwork, sabotaging their academic progress as a way to minimize the separation from their old community. Some even flunk out and have to move back home.

  A different experience of loss is faced by immigrants who, although they have high-level educational and professional backgrounds, face career obstacles in their new country. They may not yet be completely fluent in the new language, or they may face employment discrimination or a lack of job openings in their field, leading them to take jobs that are far beneath their skill level or knowledge base. Some people may be able to accept an occupational demotion and set about developing new skills and new contacts as quickly as they can. Others may feel so demeaned by the loss of job status that they procrastinate, retreating from new challenges and limiting their future options.

  Culture Shock. Immigrants always experience some degree of culture shock. Even when the home country is relatively similar to the new country, inevitably there are differences that require adjustments. Most immigrants struggle for a time as they learn
to adapt to their new culture. Life feels unpredictable, and many people experience a “fatigue that results from having to remain consciously focused on what one would normally take for granted.”11 Being constantly alert is stressful, and over time, this can lead to the following signs of cross-cultural distress:12 • feelings of helplessness or intense homesickness

  • the wish to depend on others of the same nationality or background

  • delaying or refusing to learn the language of the new country

  • excessive anger in response to minor frustrations

  • excessive worry about being cheated, robbed, or injured

  • excessive worry about physical health, sanitation, or food safety

  • worry about cultural differences, such as family values

  • staring off into space

  We would add that procrastination may become part of the picture of distress, as people experiencing culture shock may have less energy to meet the confusing demands of a new culture and tend to avoid difficult situations and feelings.