by Amira Rain
At any rate, even without the help of premonitions, Cole was doing his best to make sure that he and his men wouldn't be caught off guard. Every day, he ran them through different fighting drills and formations for hours, in addition to running patrols around the village and organizing different shifts and teams to do surveillance work on Bennett and his men. He usually got home late at night, exhausted, but seemingly never too exhausted to share a meal with me, engage in a little mutual massage in the shower or bath, and make love to me.
Derek and Mike had left the village permanently one day, telling Cole that they were moving to a different Angel community with more women. Cole knew this to be true, because they were surely heading to Bennett's encampment, which did indeed have more women than New Bad Axe by this point. However, they told Cole that they were moving to a small, yet-unnamed community somewhere in the far, far north of the state, and Cole told them they had his permission to go, acting like he fully believed their story so as to not arouse suspicions that he was onto them.
One very humid, stormy day during the second week of September, Cole came home from running an afternoon patrol to be by my side while Katie gave me my second ultrasound. And right away, I could tell by Cole's expression that he was troubled. Maybe even deeply. However, he mustered a smile and then held my hand for the ultrasound, seeming to quickly forget about whatever it was that was troubling him.
When the first image of our baby came on the screen, he smiled in a way that seemed more genuine than his earlier one; and when the baby kicked a bit, causing a light fluttering sensation in my stomach, Cole's expression became a bit more serious, and his eyes became just slightly pink as he gazed at our baby moving on the monitor screen.
After declaring that our baby was still developing just perfectly, Katie asked if we were still sure that we didn't want to know the baby's gender until the birth. Cole and I had made that decision a few weeks earlier, and now we both agreed that we still didn't want to know. When he'd seen an image of me holding our baby in one of his dreams, the baby had been wrapped in a plain white blanket, making it so that he couldn't tell its gender, which we both thought was maybe some kind of a sign that we were supposed to wait to find out. There was also something about the idea of a big delivery-room surprise that we both really liked. Although really, our baby would be born not in an actual delivery room in a hospital, but in one of the spare bedrooms in the mansion that had an enormous whirlpool tub right in the room, next to a fireplace. Since I was healthy and strong, and since my pregnancy was progressing completely normally, Katie said she saw no problem with me laboring in the whirlpool and giving birth at home, and I felt good about this scenario, with something about the idea of bringing my child into the world in a non-medical setting really appealing to me.
Cole, however, was filled with just a little more trepidation, asking me repeatedly if I wouldn't rather have the baby at one of the numerous hospitals in Angel-controlled territory across the northern half of the state. I kept telling him that I wouldn't, and after Katie had assured him that she'd successfully handled all manner of unexpected birth complications during her twenty-five-year career as a nurse midwife, Cole had finally relented, agreeing to a home birth.
In the present, after Katie had left, the troubled expression I'd seen Cole wearing earlier returned, and I sat down next to him on the bed, where he was removing a pair of mud-covered, soaking wet boots for a clean, dry pair before he headed back out on patrol. His feet, of course, didn't touch the ground while he was in his Angel form, but while he was moving in and out of that form, they did.
While he finished lacing and tying one of the boots, I asked him if anything was wrong, "You just look a little worried to me."
After tying the bootlace in a double knot with his movements maybe a little more forceful than they needed to be, he sat back up with a sigh. "I don't want you to worry about a thing, Lauren."
Worrying already, I searched his face, again asking him what was wrong, wondering if I really wanted to hear the answer.
CHAPTER 15
Cole frowned, gaze going from my face to our clasped hands. "Bennett has gathered additional fighters, and I need to act soon. I believe he's going to make an attempt to attack the village within the next week or so, and if he gathers many more fighters, we might have a very difficult time fending them off."
"Let me help with my Gifted skills, Cole. Please. I can—"
"Absolutely not. We're not even going to have a discussion about this. You're not fighting, and that's just the way it is. I don't mean to sound harsh about it, but I'm not taking any chances with your safety. During whatever fight or attack that happens, I want you right here at the mansion, inside, so that I know where you are at all times and can best protect you."
"But—"
"Lauren, I'm telling you, I am completely inflexible about this. I'm not going to change my mind or make any compromises. Period. Maybe in the future, maybe, you can use your powers in certain defense situations where I can be reasonably assured of your safety during those situations, such as if my men and I need to deal with a lone North Haven scout near the village, or—"
"So, basically, when our team is up by a hundred points, you might let me try to make a basket. Is that it?"
"You can see it however you like, but I'm just never going to allow you to be in a position where there's a chance you could be harmed. And as far as the immediate situation with Bennett, and you being pregnant, this discussion is officially done."
A certain look in his eyes, combined with the fact that he'd clenched his jaw and I could now see muscles working in it, told me that the discussion really was done. I knew Cole had made up his mind and couldn't be swayed. And, I had to admit, maybe that really was for the best. As much as I still felt like I wanted to help defend the community in some way, I didn't want to come to harm, either, and I definitely didn't want my baby to be harmed. If I did join in a fight and the baby was injured in any way, I knew I could never forgive myself.
With a sigh, I told Cole he was right. "I shouldn't fight, and I won't ask to again. And I promise I'll stay here in the house during whatever battle or attack happens."
Seeming surprised by my statements, Cole gave my hand a squeeze with his stern expression softening. "Thank you." Pausing, he looked into my eyes deeply. "We're special, Lauren. We're rare. You came to me in a dream, and I think I started to fall in love with you the moment I saw your smile, long before I ever set eyes on you in waking life. If anything ever happened to you, I'd feel as if my heart were being ripped from my chest. That's why I'm so protective of you."
Squeezing his hand, I told him I understood, and that I'd feel the same way if anything ever happened to him. "Which is why this situation with Bennett almost makes me feel sick. I know you're an incredibly strong shifter and Angel, but what are you going to do if he does gather more fighters? What will you do then?"
For the second time during our conversation, Cole's gaze dropped to our clasped hands. "I've been contemplating a surprise attack on Bennett's encampment, since he doesn't know that we know where it is, but I just don't think I can execute it with a clean conscience. He now has seventy-some women and children at the encampment, and if his Angel group is anything like the vast majority of others, I have no doubt that some of his fighters won't hesitate to use women and children as human shields, making me certain that any attack on his encampment would almost certainly result in numerous losses of innocent human life.
"So, as much as I don't want a battle taking place on our village's doorstep, I'd almost rather he attack us. That way, my men and I can fight him just outside of the village, and no woman or child from either side will be harmed. I also like the idea of my men being able to fight on their own turf, with most of them knowing the forests around here like the backs of their hands. However, like I said earlier, if Bennett gathers many more men, that won't be good for us; so I know I need to act soon, before he's given much more time to build his army."
>
"Well, how are you going to act?"
"I'll have to figure out some way to draw Bennett and his men here. I might take a boat across the lake with a few men, 'accidentally' stumble across their encampment, then return back across the lake, hopefully making them give chase. Something tells me that with as enraged as he is with me for killing his brother, Bennett won't be able to resist trying to get me within his grasp if I'm at all close. I won't let him catch up to me, though...at least not until I've led him and his men to some area outside the village, where my men and I can take care of Bennett and all his fighters at once."
"And when will you try this plan?"
"Within a week, if Bennett doesn't attack us first before then. Any longer than that, and I'm just not sure I'll have enough men to take on all of his."
Thinking over a sudden thought, I didn't respond for a few moments. "Cole? Would you ever consider talking to Commander Northrup and seeing if—"
"No. Never."
"But what if you could forge some kind of a temporary alliance with him? What if-"
"Never."
"But I'm sure he'd be glad to help you kill some Angels."
"But I am an Angel, Lauren. And Angels don't forge alliances, temporary or otherwise, with leaders of communities who don't fly the Angel flag."
I'd seen the Angel flag before. There were several flying various places around the village. Black and blood red, they were ugly flags, I thought, and the more flowers Mary-Alice, Cassie, Ella, and I had planted, the uglier the flags had seemed to me.
"Not to mention that one of my eventual goals as leader of New Bad Axe is to successfully attack North Haven once all this Bennett business is resolved, and claim their land as Angel territory, and I'm sure Commander Northrup is well aware of this. That's why North Haven is positioned where it is...to try to prevent us Angels from expanding our territory further south."
I'd obviously known all this, but for some reason, hearing Cole say it out loud surprised me in a strange way, just to hear him state his eventual plans. I had to admit that it even disappointed and saddened me in some vague way.
Sure I was frowning, I looked into Cole's eyes and spoke quietly. "Is all that really what you want? Really? You want to attack a peaceful community just so you can claim their land?"
Suddenly, it seemed that Cole couldn't look me in the eyes anymore.
Shifting his gaze from my face to some point above my right shoulder, he spoke while knitting his dark brows. "We won't kill any Gifteds, or any other women, or children."
"But you'll kill their husbands and fathers? Just for trying to defend their nation from Angel rule?"
With his strong jaw clenched, Cole didn't respond.
"Please answer me, Cole. You really don't have a problem with that?"
Jaw still clenched, he moved his gaze from over my shoulder to the floor, but he still didn't respond.
"Will you at least look me in the eyes right now?"
He finally did, seeming only able to lift his gaze from the floor with great difficulty. "This is who I am, Lauren. Although I may do things a little differently here in New Bad Axe, I am an Angel, and I fight for the Angel cause. I fight for Angel territory expansion. And I don't shy away from killing enemy men in this effort. This is who I am."
After a long moment, I spoke despite a large lump in my throat that had just kind of come out of nowhere. "No...I know who you are, Cole. I've seen who you are myself, and Mary-Alice and Cassie have also told me a few things about who you are. You're the kind of man who defends and protects. You're not a man who would ever kill another man just for a few additional square miles of land. So, tell me...what makes you continue to fight under the Angel flag? Why did you decide to do it in the first place? Is the Angel cause of global domination just for the sake of power one you really believe in?"
Cole swallowed, somehow looking distinctly uncomfortable, slightly sad, and angry all at once. "It's long since ceased to matter what cause I believe in."
"Why? Why doesn't it matter?"
"Because there is such a thing as duty...and loyalty. To family. It's everything to me. That's what I believe in. That's my cause. Just as I'm now loyal to you and our baby, I'm loyal to my late father, and that will never change."
A brief flicker of pain dancing across Cole's eyes told me that despite what he believed, he hadn't quite reconciled that loyalty to his father with the kind of man he'd become.
"Will you tell me about your father?"
Cole had only told me a few things about his mother before, but other than saying that his father had raised him alone after his mother had died very young, he hadn't told me anything about his father. And the couple of times that I'd pressed for him to share more, he'd quickly steered the conversation to my own family, asking me various things about my own parents and upbringing. Considering the seriousness of the conversation we were having, I didn't think he'd do that this time, but I was a little afraid he might abruptly end the conversation and walk out the door.
However, after taking a very deep breath, shifting his gaze from my face to his knees, Cole let the breath out slowly and spoke in a voice that was somehow flat and devoid of emotion, as if he was afraid of allowing himself to feel too much of it right then. "My father was generally a brutal and violent man. Although with me, he was...not entirely without love, I guess I'd say. He'd always had a strange interest in the occult, and shortly before the Takeover, he began dabbling in the dark arts, and he discovered that he possessed some sorcery skills that had apparently been latent his entire life.
“Knowing that I'd had prophetic dreams all throughout my childhood, he encouraged me to begin practicing sorcery as well, thinking that I might have some natural power. I declined, though, because it was just all too strange, and even though my father repeatedly told me that there was nothing about sorcery that was necessarily inherently evil, I just felt that there was. About some of the sorcery that he and his friends practiced, anyway. But at any rate, my father seemed to accept my decision not to become involved, and I went off to serve in the military, which had been my chosen career path since I was five or so.
“I always wanted to be a soldier, to defend people who couldn't defend themselves, and lead men in fighting for just causes...and for a while I did just that. But then my father contacted me and said that there was a battle brewing in the occult underworld of Detroit, our hometown. A rival sorcerer wanted to kill him, and he needed my help. Just for a little while, he said. Because of my prophetic dreams, he was sure that I could be trained to be a powerful sorcerer, one more powerful than he was. He needed me to help save his life, he said."
Cole paused, and for so long that I wondered if he was even going to continue. But just as I was about to ask him what had happened after his father had contacted him, he spoke again, gaze still on his knees.
"I loved my father. I didn't always agree with his views or his actions, but I loved him, and I didn't want him to be killed. So, I went back to Detroit. My father and his friends trained me in sorcery, which I did prove to have a natural talent for. And when the rival sorcerer came and tried to kill my father, I killed him. Shortly after, Alistair Jordan launched his failed global takeover, and my father convinced me to become a part of it, saying that powerful sorcerers dominating mere humans was the natural order of things, and the way things should be."
"But did you really believe that?"
Gaze still focused downward, Cole lifted his broad shoulders in a shrug. "All I knew was that I just felt duty-bound to be a loyal son, and I still do. Before my father died on a battlefield somewhere in the north, I promised him that I would always fight for the Angel cause. I wouldn't let his death be in vain. I'd honor his memory and be a good son. With his last breath, he told me to never forget the words I'd just spoken, and I haven't. They're why I'm still doing what I'm doing today."
Cole fell silent, and I contemplated saying something that I had a pretty good idea might make him mad and even hurt him dee
ply, which was the very last thing I wanted to do.
CHAPTER 16
After several moments of Cole not speaking and me just thinking. I finally decided to come right out and say what I was thinking. "Cole? I have a feeling that your father has been manipulating you from the grave. And I think that it's probably time you stopped letting him."
Exhaling in a rush, Cole abruptly stood up from the bed, raking a hand through his hair. "Well, what kind of a son would that make me, if I didn't fulfill my father's wishes? What kind of a man would I be?"
"Look. I don't know what kind of a son it would make you if you choose not to follow in the murderous ways of your father...but I think it would make you a pretty good man...an even better one than you are now."
Cole began pacing around the spacious room but didn't answer me, and I continued.
"Somehow, mercifully, despite the fact that you had the father that you did, I think you were still able to intuit right from wrong...things like you obviously knew that hurting women is wrong. But now you just need to understand that steamrolling communities just to claim more land to plant the Angel flag in is wrong, too."
Again, Cole didn't respond, just paused in his pacing, raking a hand through his hair again, and I turned to the side to look at him better.
"You've talked about destiny before...in regards to us. But I think it's your personal destiny to be a good, honorable, moral man, no matter what your father wanted you to do, and no matter who he wanted you to fight for. I think it's time for you to take what he wanted you to do and just let it go. Your father's goals and aspirations don't have to be yours."