Writes of Submission

by Cassidy Browning

  * * * *

  “So what happened?” Allie asked as Dante came up to join her on the front porch after loading his and Kane’s bikes in the back of the rental truck. The bike rental guy was inspecting the damage to Nikki’s and pronouncing it minor. It seemed as though Kane had paid for insurance. Definitely the smart thing to have done, considering everything.

  “We were doing really good,” he began, sitting next to her. “We’d gone three or four miles and she was doing great. They were talking about their plot and I think they’d gotten to a turning point. It was great to listen to them. One would make a suggestion, then the other would take it and run. They’d play off each other, back and forth, until the first simple little idea had turned into a really good plot twist. I’m kind of wishing I was a writer now.”

  “The accident?” Allie prompted.

  “Oh, yeah. So then we were on the way back and there was a path off the road. Nikki had been really good, confident on her bike, so I asked if they wanted to try off-road. I don’t think either of them was really excited, but they were at a point where they were trying to impress each other, you know? Nikki said she was up for it if Kane was, and of course Kane couldn’t let that go, so I gave them some pointers on how to ride downhill. It wasn’t that steep, but there are some things you really have to keep in mind, like not panicking and jumping on your brakes. Unfortunately, I think Nikki got a little freaked out and that has to be exactly what she did. The bike flipped and she went flying.”

  “Poor thing.” Allie clicked her tongue and glanced up, as if she could see Nikki sleeping upstairs.

  The truck drove away and Kane joined them, leaning against the porch railing and crossing his arms. Allie gave him a thoughtful look. “So why is she so mad at you?”

  He shrugged with a short bark of a laugh. “Fuck if I know. I guess any reaction is better than none, though.”

  “I have a theory about that,” Allie said. “If she’s starting to think of you as a Dom, Kane, then she might be considering you as responsible for her well-being. It could feel like you let her down, by allowing her to do something dangerous.”

  “Hmm. I don’t know if I like that.” Dante frowned. “Does that mean she likes me less, since she’s not mad at me?”

  “No, it just means that she doesn’t see you as an authority figure yet, someone she’s trusting with her safety.” Allie nodded toward Kane. “He’s the one that’s been doing the Dom thing, right?”

  “Yeah. Is that what she wants?”

  “Well, she does like to read about it,” Allie pointed out. “That probably means it appeals to her on some level.”

  “So do I need to become a big, bad Dom, too?” He squinted up at Kane. “How would that work?”

  “If we’re going to take this relationship seriously, that’s something we’ll have to figure out,” Kane said. “Do you want to be a Dom? Does Nikki even want two Doms? Maybe she’d rather have one guy that doesn’t issue orders.”

  “Could you deal with that?” Allie looked at Dante. “Most organizations work best when there’s one boss. Look at our house. Brad is an important member of our family and he takes care of all of the financial stuff. But Karl is in charge, and Brad has come to accept that. Could you be in that kind of position?”

  “I’ll have to think about it,” Dante said. “I’ve never considered something like this before.”

  “What about you, Kane?” Allie watched the expression on his face. He was worried, she thought. “Have you been in a poly relationship before?”

  “Not the kind where everybody was around each other all the time,” Kane said.

  “What other kinds are there?” Dante sat back. Allie thought that position probably gave him a better view of Kane’s face. He might be wondering if Kane wanted Nikki for himself, she thought.

  “There are as many different ways to do poly as there are people doing it,” Kane said. “Some people just do it as a loosely-connected network, where people get together either casually or on set schedules, but rarely in groups. Some form households and live together, like Allie and her guys. I’ve always wanted to try something like that, but the chemistry has never been right before.”

  “Do you think it’s right now?” Dante’s voice was cool, but his fingers plucked nervously at his shirt.

  Kane was silent for a minute, shifting slightly so he could gaze out over the lawn into the woods at the far side. When he spoke his voice was serious, almost tense. “I would have thought so. We’ve all been getting along together well and the writing is going even better than I’d hoped.”

  “But?”

  “But the situation seems to be different than I’d thought.”

  “Why do you say that?” Allie asked.

  Kane turned grave eyes on her. “Because when Dante was waiting for the ambulance, she told me something. She was a little woozy from the pain of her ankle and hitting her head, but sometimes that’s when people are the most honest, right?”

  “What did she say?” Dante leaned forward.

  He sighed slightly, turning to look back out toward the trees. “She told me she’s in love with you.”

  Chapter 18

  Dante could barely contain a whoop of joy. Nikki had said she loved him? That was too good to be true. He’d been more and more aware over the last few days of a creeping feeling that he wasn’t going to want to walk away from her when their time at Clifftop was over. But—

  Allie’s voice cut into his happiness. “Did she say how she feels about you?”

  Kane shook his head.

  “Do you love her?” Allie’s voice was soft and Dante realized how awkward this situation could easily become. Kane and Nikki were writing partners. Kane was obviously in love with Nikki. If she didn’t return his love, could they still work together? He could try to brainstorm with her like Kane did, but he knew realistically he would never be able to fill those shoes.

  “Yeah,” Kane said finally. “But if she’s not interested, then I’ll back off. You don’t have to worry about me trying to horn in where I’m not wanted, Dante.”

  Allie looked from one to the other. “You don’t know she’s not interested. Like you said, it was probably the pain and disorientation talking. If she blamed you for the accident she might just not have felt like saying anything affectionate to you at the moment. I know I’ve had times where I was so angry I didn’t want to say it to Karl, even though I’ve never stopped loving him.”

  “Maybe.” Kane stood up. “But until I know that for sure, I’m going to have to go on the assumption that Dante is the one she wants. I guess the threesome stuff was too much for her after all. Congratulations, man.”

  “Um, thanks.” Dante’s stomach fell as he watched Kane walk into the house, his face dark. Somehow the joy he’d first felt at hearing that Nikki loved him wasn’t enough to cancel out the guilt he felt now. He looked sheepishly at Allie, as if he’d been caught in some deception. “What do I do now?”

  She smiled at him as she stood up. “I guess the only thing any of us can do is to get back to work and wait to see how this plays out. Do you want her for yourself?”

  Dante followed her into the kitchen, thinking about her question. “I’d rather have the poly thing,” he admitted finally. “It just seems like such a good opportunity—like a team. I’ve never thought of relationships like that before, but it really feels right somehow, you know?”

  “It does,” Allie agreed. “You grow up thinking you’re going to fall in love and get married, right? Maybe have a couple kids, a career, take some nice vacations, but that’s it. When you find people you can be a team with, you realize it can be so much more than working in a cubicle and watching television every night. If everybody works together you can really accomplish some amazing things. Not that traditional families don’t, but having more people exponentially increases your resource pool.”

  “Yeah, I see that.” Dante took the bottle of water she offered him, then snapped his fingers. “I almo
st forgot. The pics we put up and the blog post I had ‘Candee’ write about being here are really starting to generate interest. I’ve been monitoring your website and your hits have skyrocketed today. You should check your email. I’ll bet you’ve got a lot of info requests coming in.”

  “That’s great!” Allie kissed him on the cheek. “Now go and relax for a little while. Lunch will be ready in an hour. You might actually want to check in on Nikki. I have a feeling that Kane is going to be backing off from that responsibility for a little while, so you will have to step up.”

  Dante took the stairs two at a time. His elation seemed to be returning, at least in part. He still felt guilty about Kane, but the words kept replaying in his head. She loves you! She loves you!

  Nikki was still sleeping, her face scrunched up as if she was having a slightly disturbing dream. Dante felt a little odd about going in without having been invited, but the situation was a little unusual—and she’d told Kane she loved him. Him, Dante. His brain was still buzzing with the excitement of that. The slight edge of worry about what would happen to her partnership with Kane threatened to take over his happiness, but he forced himself not to worry about it. They would cross that bridge later when she was feeling more coherent.

  She mumbled a little in her sleep and he pulled the desk chair over next to the bed. Leaning over, he brushed the hair out of her face and whispered, “You’re okay, sweetheart. I’m here with you.”

  Her head turned restlessly, but her eyes didn’t open. She murmured something and he leaned closer. “What was that, Nikki?”

  “Kane?” It was little more than a whisper, but there was no mistaking the name. She’d asked for Kane. It occurred to him suddenly that maybe Kane had misheard her in the woods. Maybe she’d said she was in love with him, with Kane, not with Dante.

  He sat back up and looked down at her unconscious form. There was no way of finding out for another day or two, when she would be feeling up to discussing it with one or more of them. Until then, he didn’t think he would be able to convince Kane of his theory.

  He went to get his laptop and bring it back into her room. At least when she woke up there would be someone to get her a drink or help her to the bathroom.

  * * * *

  Kane forced himself not to slam the door of his room. He went to his desk and automatically opened the bottom drawer, looking for the bottle he’d stashed there before. But then he closed the drawer again. He’d been trying not to drink before dinner. Nikki didn’t seem to approve of it.

  He should have known better than to try to do something like the bikes. It was bound to turn into a catastrophe. It always did.

  It was just so unfair. Of course it was unfair. Nothing he ever did turned out right. He’d started writing romance trying to impress women with his sensitivity. But then the publisher had decided that he shouldn’t tell anyone who he was. Then he’d gotten interested in BDSM and found a mentor to teach him how to be a Dom. That just seemed to get him disliked by the first woman he’d decided to have a real relationship with. Sure, he had play partners, but Nikki was something special. She was his match intellectually, an extremely talented writer and a very beautiful woman. He’d begun to have visions of them spending the rest of their lives together.

  He hadn’t even minded Dante hanging around. At first the other man had seemed like a threat, with his long blond hair and his surfer-dude looks and personality. But the three of them really seemed to be gelling into a cohesive unit, one that he was pretty sure wouldn’t be complete without all three of them.

  But maybe he’d just been fooling himself. Maybe Nikki and Dante had been falling in love the whole time and he was the clueless outsider. She could have been indulging his annoying flirting for the sake of getting a start in romance writing.

  He realized that he’d unconsciously reached down and opened the drawer again. Hell, what did it matter if Nikki disapproved? She didn’t love him anyway. He pulled out the bottle and opened it. If there was ever a time he needed a drink, it was now.

  After the first couple of drinks, though, he put the top back on and returned it to its drawer. Drinking really wasn’t the answer. He’d just have to show her that he would be perfectly okay, even if she didn’t love him, too.

  The story. He’d work on the story while she was down. It would still be published under both names. Oh, yes. He’d give her the start she was after. Even if he never saw her again, he could do that much for them. She’d shown him that it was possible for him to find somebody to love. Even if the three of them couldn’t be together, he would make sure she and Dante got a good start in the publishing world as well as the BDSM community. They deserved it.

  He put in his earplugs, started the Arabian music that for some reason got his creative juices flowing, and flipped open his laptop. He had a lot of work to do.

  * * * *

  Nikki opened her eyes slowly. Her head was pounding and her whole body ached. She made a move to sit up and quickly collapsed back down, groaning.

  A hand came to rest on her shoulder. “Take it easy,” Dante’s voice said from next to the bed. “You’re probably still pretty sore.”

  “You think?” She rubbed a hand over her eyes to help her focus and squinted at him. “Sorry. Yes, I’m extremely sore, and I think my pain meds have worn off.”

  “Not surprising.” He glanced at the clock. “You’ve been asleep for about four hours. Do you want some more, or would you rather eat something first?”

  “I need to use the restroom. Why are you here, anyway?” She let him help her sit up.

  “To watch over you, of course.” Before she could say anything, he bent over and picked her up in his arms.

  “Hey!”

  “Believe me, it’s much easier this way. And since you’re not going to be in any shape to work out for a while, I have to get my exercise somehow.”

  He carried her into the bathroom and put her down carefully in front of the toilet. She sighed, holding on to him as she twisted herself into the correct direction. “Okay, I think I’ll be all right here.”

  Dante raised his eyebrows, his hand still on her elbow.

  “You can leave now.” She made a shooing motion.

  “Are you sure you don’t need help?” He grinned at her, obviously waiting to see what she’d do.

  She knew it was silly. They’d already had sex, for God’s sake, but she was mortified at the thought of using the toilet in front of him. She toyed with the idea of asking him to at least turn around, so he’d be close if she fell or anything. But that seemed almost as ridiculous as making him leave. Was she afraid that he would be turned off by the sight of her performing bodily functions?

  Her head began spinning again and she gave up, holding out a hand to steady herself against him. “Okay, but just for the record I’m not particularly comfortable with this.”

  “Why not?” He held her shoulders as she lowered her pants and eased herself down onto the seat. “It’s not like we’re not—involved. Aren’t we?”

  It was incredibly stupid to be sitting on a toilet in front of a gorgeous man discussing whether or not they were in a relationship. Especially when the room was spinning around her and her body felt as if she’d spent the morning in a cement mixer.

  He waited until she finished and rearranged herself, then helped her hop over to the sink so she could wash her hands and face. When she was done, he scooped her up again and took her back to bed.

  “Well?” He sat down on the edge, arranging her pillows and covering her back up.

  “Well what?” She still hadn’t decided exactly how to answer his question. She wasn’t sure if his definition of “involved” included Kane or not, and if it meant relationship or play partners. Either seemed possible, although she couldn’t imagine either one of the men settling for her when there were so many other options out there.

  “Well, do you want food or pain meds first?” He poured a glass of water for her from a pitcher she hadn’t noticed on t
he desk and made her take a sip. “I’ve got a sandwich, some cookies, a piece of chocolate, orange juice, some mixed fruit, crackers, cheese, granola, bananas… Does any of that sound good?”

  She lifted her head and noticed that there did indeed seem to be some kind of buffet lined out on her desk. “Where in the world did all that come from?”

  “I didn’t know what you’d feel like when you woke up,” he explained. “So I tried to get a selection of everything I could think of. Allie said I couldn’t bring ice cream, because we weren’t sure how long you’d sleep, but there’s some downstairs. I could run and get it for you.”

  She stared at him. “No, no. That’s fine. You’re really sweet to go to all this trouble. Maybe a banana?”

  “One banana coming up.” He beamed as if she’d told him he won the Nobel Prize. Instead of just handing it to her, though, he peeled it and sliced it onto a small plate, laying it carefully on the bed next to her. “Here you go. Would you like to sit up some more? I can get more pillows.”

  “No, that’s okay.” She ate a piece, mostly to please him. He seemed so anxious to wait on her. That was odd. “So have you really been sitting here the whole time? At least when you weren’t transferring the contents of the pantry onto my desk.”

  He grinned. “Yes. I brought my laptop in and I’ve gotten a lot done. The blog that Kane wrote about the food party has been getting a lot of attention.”

  “That’s great.” She popped another piece of banana in her mouth. “He’s such a good writer.”

  “Yes, he is.” Dante’s face became serious and he moved back to his chair, leaning forward with his arms on his knees. “I want to talk to you about him.”

  Uh, oh. Here it came. Nikki put the plate on the desk and gave a small sigh. This was where he told her that either he just wanted to play, or Kane was secretly married, they didn’t think her writing was up to Kane’s standards, or something. Her euphoria from the other night was bound to get shot down one way or another.