Wings of the Morning

by Beryl Matthews

  Reid grinned. ‘You mean I jumped you as soon as we reached the bedroom?’

  A soft chuckle ran through her. ‘You were in rather a hurry.’

  ‘Hmm. Anyway what’s this present? I thought I’d already been given it,’ he added suggestively.

  ‘Not this one; it’s a gift of life.’ She kissed him, then said, ‘I’m pregnant, Reid.’

  He thought she was joking until he gazed into her eyes; they were serious and slightly wary, as if she wasn’t sure of his response. Then he grinned. ‘I don’t know how you can tell that so soon. This is the first time we haven’t taken any precautions.’

  ‘No, it isn’t. Remember VE Day?’

  That gave him a jolt. Good Lord, he’d forgotten that night, which was hardly surprising with the amount they’d all drunk. And in the euphoria of Germany’s capitulation all caution had gone by the board. The shock of Annie’s announcement was rapidly being replaced with one of utter joy. ‘Are you sure? It’s only about seven weeks.’

  Annie nodded. ‘The medical officer checked me over two days ago.’

  ‘That’s wonderful,’ he groaned, rolling on to his back and pulling Annie on top of him. ‘But I wish you’d told me before and I would have treated you with more care.’

  Annie looked horrified. ‘You’re a strong, passionate man and that’s the way you must stay. I’m feeling fine. So you’re pleased about the baby?’

  ‘Pleased? I’m ecstatic. Get out of the WAAF as soon as you can, Annie.’ Reid started to make rapid plans in his head. This changed everything. ‘I’ve got a piece of land in Thatcham near my parents’ house, where we can have a house built. I’ll find a place to rent until ours is ready. The plans are finished; Bill gave them to me yesterday and Grant Phillips can start the work immediately.’

  Annie sat up. ‘What’s all this? Has Bill designed a house for us?’

  Reid nodded. ‘This was going to be my special wedding present to you – when I had time to give it to you, of course.’

  ‘But when did Bill have time to do this?’ she asked, astounded by the news.

  ‘As soon as you agreed to marry me I got in touch with Bill and explained what I wanted. He was all for the idea and has been working on the design during any spare moment. It’s fabulous, you’ll love it.’

  ‘I know I will.’ She started to rain small kisses all over his face. ‘Did anyone ever tell you what a wonderful, thoughtful man you are?’

  Reid pretended to give this a lot of consideration. ‘Not lately, but you can show me how pleased you are, if you like.’

  ‘I like.’

  It wasn’t until the war with Japan was over in August that Annie was finally demobbed. The terrible force of the atomic bombs the Americans had dropped on Japan had appalled her, along with everyone else, but it was a blessed relief to know that the war was completely over now. She prayed that the world would never do this again; the weapons of destruction were too horrible to contemplate. She wanted their child, and all the others, to be able to grow up in peace.

  She put the finishing touches to the table and went back into the kitchen to check on her roast chicken. This was a luxury given to her by a local farmer, and she couldn’t help wondering how long it would be before food was plentiful again. It would be wonderful to go into the shops and buy whatever you wanted but Annie guessed that it would be some time before that happened. This country was going to need time to recover.

  She sang contentedly to herself. This was a pleasant house but she couldn’t wait for their home to be finished. With luck the house should be ready for them to move into by Christmas. The baby wasn’t due until early February, so that would give them plenty of time to furnish the nursery. She had already chosen which room to use and had it all planned.

  ‘Annie.’ Reid strode into the kitchen and kissed her like a desperate man. ‘I’ve wangled fourteen days’ leave,’ he announced when he finally broke off the embrace. ‘And I’ll be demobbed by October.’

  ‘That’s marvellous.’ She knew just how much he wanted out, but he was such an efficient officer that the RAF had been trying to hold on to him. However, Reid wouldn’t be swayed, he was eager to get back to the family business and let his father take a well-earned retirement.

  ‘I’ve also arranged with Rose and Bill for us to take the children over to France to see Jacques at the end of the week.’ Reid ran his hand gently over her expanding waistline. ‘We’ll go by sea, and if you don’t feel like tackling the journey, I’ll take the children on my own.’

  ‘There’s no need for that,’ she protested. ‘I’m disgustingly fit, the doctor told me yesterday, and now the morning sickness has gone, I’m fine.’

  ‘Good.’ He looked relieved. ‘James and Kate are excited about going, and we’ll have a holiday while we’re there.’

  It was a glorious summer morning with the first faint rays of the sun giving a hint of the heat to come. Annie leaned on the rail and looked out over the calm sea. There was only a gentle swell and the boat seemed suspended in time. Her mind drifted back to the last time she’d been to France; the circumstances were very different this time. The fear and grief of that journey to find Jack Graham had faded now and she could remember him as the laughing, gentle and very brave man he had been. The horror of the experience no longer troubled her nights. She had done her best and he’d known that, and had been grateful to her for seeing that he survived long enough to see his son …

  She felt Reid place an arm around her shoulder and she looked up and smiled at him.

  ‘Memories?’ he asked perceptively.

  ‘Yes,’ she told him, ‘but they don’t hurt like they used to.’

  He nodded in understanding. ‘We’ll never forget, though, will we?’

  Annie straightened up and shook her head. ‘And we shouldn’t. I just hope that the sacrifices of so many are remembered.’

  ‘They will be.’ He smiled and dropped a quick kiss on her nose. ‘Fancy a cup of tea?’

  ‘Please. And something to eat, I’m starving.’

  A deep chuckle rumbled through him. ‘You always are.’

  ‘I think the baby takes all my food.’

  ‘And how is my son enjoying the sea voyage?’

  Annie gave Reid a quizzical glance. ‘You’re sure it’s going to be a boy, aren’t you?’

  ‘Your mother told me it was.’ He led her to the refreshments bar where James and Kate were already enjoying an early morning feast of tea and buns. ‘We can have a girl next time.’

  Annie laughed. ‘Has my mother been reading the tea leaves again?’

  ‘Something like that, I expect.’

  ‘Auntie Annie,’ Kate called. ‘We’ve saved some for you.’

  ‘Thanks.’ She sat down.

  ‘What’s it going to be like where Jacques is?’ James wanted to know.

  ‘OK.’ Reid helped himself to a bun. ‘Sam said that the village is recovering and they’ve repaired a lot of the buildings now.’

  ‘Must have been terrible to be occupied like they were,’ James remarked.

  ‘Yes, and thank heavens it never happened to us.’ Reid cut his bun and put half on Annie’s plate, giving her a secret smile.

  ‘Only because men like you and Bouncer kept them out.’ James gazed at Reid with undisguised admiration.

  ‘Everyone played their part, James.’ Reid was serious now. ‘It’s true the RAF held them off long enough for us to regroup after Dunkirk, but without the merchant navy and the ships which protected the convoys we’d have starved. And the way the army recovered after their defeat showed great courage and determination.’

  ‘And there were all the ordinary people,’ James reminded them. ‘We mustn’t forget them.’

  ‘Yes, you’re right.’ Reid smiled at Annie. ‘All unsung heroes and heroines.’

  When they landed at Calais Reid managed to hire a car, after much haggling with the owner of a small garage. It was not in the best of condition and had a habit of burping then makin
g a sound like fireworks going off. This sent James and Kate into hoots of laughter, but it was better than public transport, which was practically non-existent.

  As they travelled the twenty-five kilometres inland to reach Sam’s village, great swathes of the countryside appeared untouched until they came across ruined farmhouses here and there. Annie wondered where the owners were now? There were displaced persons all over Europe and it was going to be a mammoth task trying to get everyone back to their homes.

  Reid broke through her sombre thoughts. ‘This must be it.’

  Jacques came running as soon as he saw them, shouting in excitement. ‘You came! You came!’

  Annie was thrilled to see the change in them. Jacques was noisy and boisterous, not at all like the frightened little boy who had cowered in silent misery. Maria had changed beyond recognition, and standing in front of Reid and Annie was the most stunning woman, vibrant and alive – and finally Sam. Annie studied him carefully and saw a man at peace with himself and content to be with the family he loved. The deep anger that had always lingered in his eyes was a mere shadow now.

  When he came and embraced her she hugged him in delight knowing that she no longer had to worry about him. He had come home and was happy.

  Reid and Annie spent two days with Sam and Maria, then, leaving the children with them, they snatched a belated honeymoon in Paris.

  It was a wonderful time for them, and although stifling hot during the day, they walked beside the Seine during the cool of the evening. After three blissful days they returned to pick up the children. Before leaving for home they all visited a small memorial that had been set up by the villagers to record the names of those who had been killed during the occupation.

  James and Kate solemnly placed flowers at the site, then they left, promising to return again soon.

  37

  Annie was spending the day with her mother and Rose. The October sun was casting shadows across the kitchen table as they sat amid the debris of their lunch, enjoying a good chat over a cup of tea.

  ‘I expect Reid’s looking forward to leaving the air force,’ her mother remarked.

  ‘Yes. Only one more week and he can’t wait. Neither can his father who is eager to hand over the running of the business to him again.’

  ‘He’ll be glad to be rid of that responsibility.’ Rose started to gather up the dishes.

  ‘Here, let me help with that.’ As Annie stood up a searing pain shot through her making her double up and gasp.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Marj grabbed hold of Annie.

  ‘I don’t know.’ She groaned as another pain nearly made her pass out.

  Her mother and Rose helped her into the other room and made her lie on the settee with her feet up. Annie was by now moaning in fright. ‘The baby! I’m only five months. It’s too soon to go into labour.’

  Rose was already phoning for the doctor and an ambulance.

  ‘Hold on,’ her mother soothed. ‘Help will soon be here. It’ll be all right.’

  But it wasn’t going to be, Annie knew that, and the tears streamed down her face in speechless agony. She was bleeding. She was losing the baby!

  ‘Sir!’ An out-of-breath sergeant raced up to Reid. ‘There’s a phone call for you. Says she’s your sister-in-law, and if I don’t find you immediately she’ll come here and break my bloody neck.’ He stopped to gulp in a couple of quick breaths of air. ‘She meant it. It’s urgent.’

  Reid was running for his office before the man had stopped speaking, his heart crashing against his ribs. Rose. No one else would threaten a stranger like that. And Annie was with her today. Oh God, what had happened?

  He skidded through the door and lunged at the phone. ‘Rose!’

  Reid thought he knew all about the pain life could deal you at times, but as he listened his world of happiness crumbled around him.

  ‘Is Annie all right?’ As Rose told him he bowed his head in grief and tears burnt the back of his eyes. ‘I’ll come to the hospital at once.’

  The phone crashed back on its cradle and Reid thought he must be paralysed. He couldn’t move.

  ‘Sir?’ The sergeant was looking at him with concern. ‘Shall I find you a car and driver?’

  Reid dragged his screaming mind together and nodded. ‘At once, please, Jenkins.’

  When Reid saw Marj and Rose’s strained expressions he knew things were bad. ‘Where is she?’

  Marj was speechless with grief, and it was Rose who nodded towards a door. ‘In there, she’s just come back from the operating theatre.’

  There was a doctor and a nurse at Annie’s bedside but Reid pushed past them to reach his wife. He hooked a chair over with his foot and sat down, cradling her hand in his. She was so still and silent, not at all like his lively, animated Annie.

  ‘Is she going to be all right?’ he asked, not taking his eyes from her face.

  ‘She’s lost the baby and a lot of blood,’ the doctor told him as kindly as possible. ‘But we don’t think there’s any permanent damage. She should make a full recovery in time.’

  Reid let the tears overflow then, quite unashamed. She was going to live, and that was the only thing that mattered.

  He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her cold fingers. ‘Don’t you dare leave me, my darling,’ he scolded. ‘My life would be empty without you.’

  It was about two hours before Annie stirred and opened her eyes. Her gaze fixed on Reid immediately and he saw the moment when realization dawned. Her hand was shaking as it moved down towards her stomach, but he caught it and held on tightly. He felt his own grief fighting to surface when he saw the pain in her eyes, but he mustn’t let that happen. Annie was going to need him to be strong, and although she was no weakling herself this loss was going to devastate her. They had both been so excited about the baby.

  Silent tears began to flow and she reached out for him. He sat on the bed and gathered her gently into his arms. Her body shook as the sobs came in great heart-rending sounds.

  ‘Why?’ she moaned. ‘Our baby was conceived at a time of such joy and I was healthy. Why?’

  Reid had talked to the doctor while Annie had been asleep. He had the answers and he decided that it would be better if she knew. It might help the grieving.

  ‘She had a heart defect.’ He stroked Annie’s hair in a soothing motion. ‘And she died before you lost her. The doctor said that even if you’d gone full-term, she wouldn’t have survived for long.’

  ‘It was a girl?’ she whispered.

  ‘Yes.’ Reid held her face away so he could look at her. He could give her some hope. ‘The doctor told me that there isn’t any reason why we shouldn’t have healthy children in the future.’

  Annie gave a ragged sigh of relief. ‘I’m all right then?’

  ‘Perfect.’ He tried a smile, and was pleased to see her return it, even though the tears were still coursing down her face.

  ‘I’m so sorry, my darling.’ She held on to him tightly.

  ‘It wasn’t your fault, Annie. You mustn’t believe it was for a moment.’

  She nodded, closed her eyes, and sank into blessed sleep again.

  Annie fought her way out of sleep but it was a struggle. She could hear muted voices – voices she recognized. Then her mind began to clear and icy fingers of despair clutched at her. She had lost the baby.

  Through her whimper of distress she heard Reid call. ‘Annie.’

  She opened her eyes then. The private room she was in was only small but somehow most of her family had managed to squeeze in. There was Reid, her mother and Wally, Rose, Bill, Kate and James, Will and Charlie. And by the look of it they’d all brought flowers; the room was a profusion of blooms, the heady perfume overriding the antiseptic atmosphere. It was at that moment she knew just how lucky she was to be surrounded by so much love.

  She gave Reid a tremulous smile. She was determined to put a brave face on things, not only for his sake but also for her own. They would get through this toget
her, of that she was certain.

  ‘Sit me up,’ she asked, ‘so I can see you all.’ Reid lifted her and Rose arranged the pillows. ‘Ah, that’s better. You’ll all get told off,’ she said, trying to lighten the mood and remove their worried expressions.

  ‘No we won’t,’ Will said and grinned. ‘We’ve bribed Sister with a bar of chocolate. She said we can stay for an hour and not a moment longer.’ Then he was serious again. ‘We’re all dreadfully sorry about the baby, Annie.’

  She nodded, and dropped her head as the tears started to gather, but she fought them back. A small hand touched hers and she looked up to see Kate was sitting on the bed. At nine years old it was clear just how beautiful she was going to be.

  ‘If you like I can be your pretend daughter – just until you have one of your own, of course.’ Kate’s dark gaze fixed on Reid. ‘That’s only if you want to, of course. Mummy and Daddy won’t mind sharing me.’

  ‘I think that’s a wonderful idea, don’t you, darling?’ Reid squeezed Annie’s hand.

  ‘We’d be honoured to have you as our pretend daughter.’ Annie pulled Kate towards her so she could kiss her, and not for the first time she marvelled at her niece’s insight. It was as if she knew just what to do in any crisis.

  ‘Uncle Will, I know you’ve got another bar of chocolate, and I think we should share it now,’ James suggested.

  The chocolate was produced and as chatter increased Annie reached up to smooth the frown from Reid’s face. ‘Don’t look so concerned, my darling,’ she said softly. ‘I’m all right now, and we’ll have more children.’

  She saw him relax, and the words from the Bible that she loved so much came clearly into her mind. ‘If I take the wings of the morning.’ Reid and his pilots had climbed into the sky not knowing what the future held for them, and that’s what she must do. The pain of this loss would probably always be with her but she had learned to deal with grief over the last few years, and she was a stronger person now.

  Her gaze swept over her family and lingered on Reid. He smiled at her and kissed her cheek gently, as if he understood her thoughts. The war had brought hardship and grief but it had also given her the greatest gift of all – the love of a wonderful man.