The Novice

by Ava Lohan

  “One million and one hundred thousand dollars.” He peeled off the condom, wrapped it in a tissue and threw it in the trash. Without saying a word, he started to get dressed.

  I waited. I waited. I waited in vain.

  My body froze as I watched him dress. The thoughts running through my head were anything but reassuring. I sat immobile on the couch, my body shaking in fear. Fear of an impending disaster. I decided to take action.

  “Is there anything else you’d like to tell me?” I asked cautiously.

  There had to be something. There just had to. He must’ve had something to say, something so wonderful it would surely take my breath away. Something like those taboo words he’d always refused to say. I love you. This thing between us is right. I am happy with you. I could hear them all. In my head. Damn it, it was all just in my head.

  “Merry Christmas?”

  I stared at him in amazement. “No.” I jumped up angrily. “Is there anything else you’d like to say to me? Think about it.” I put on my thong and shoes.

  “We’re done here, Rose. You can go. I gave you more than what was included in my holiday rates.” He stopped buttoning his shirt for a second and ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t disappoint your expectations.”

  “You can’t be serious,” I said, holding my head in my hands and pacing back and forth. “No, no, no,” I murmured. I couldn’t believe it. No, I refused to believe it. I couldn’t breathe—suddenly it felt like there was no more oxygen in the room. Just that soft, annoying music. I put my hands over my chest and stopped. I was about to have a panic attack. What kind of shitty ending was this? I shook my head. “I came back here, ready to accept everything. I don’t blame you anymore. I told you I love you.” I had no idea where I was going with all of this. I looked for signs that Kegan was ready to give in, but he just stood there, serious as ever. He didn’t look like he was joking at all. Finn had warned me that Kegan had gotten worse, that he wasn’t sure I would be able to get him back. I’d failed. “How can you do this to me?” I’d handed him my heart on a platter and this was how he was going to repay me? Blood rushed to my brain. “You fucking bastard,” I snarled. “Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing for me?”

  Kegan raised his eyebrows.

  “Before, you said…” I started in a low tone. Before, he’d said he wanted to stay inside me forever, and now he was kicking me out? “You said…” I was so incredulous I couldn’t even finish my sentence.

  “What?” he asked, like he didn’t know. I caught a flash of playfulness in his eyes, but it was too quick to make me hope he was just teasing me.

  “You know what you said.”

  My brain kept telling me this couldn’t be possible. I'd come back to him. I’d suffered so much. And now that I’d accepted everything, Kegan was kicking me out?

  “Um…” he said, running his tongue over his lips. “I asked you if you were aware of the risk you were taking. You said yes.” He shrugged and smoothed his half-buttoned red shirt. “You gambled. You lost,” he said with a hint of sarcasm.

  His face displayed no sign of emotion. He gave me one last look and then headed for the door. Jesus Christ, he was leaving!

  “Where do you think you’re going?” I yelled after him in amazement.

  “We’re done,” he repeated from the door. He’d turned his back on me. I could no longer see his face. But his voice was definitely the voice of an asshole. I glared at his back as if I were trying to set him on fire.

  He opened the door to the room. I thought he would leave, but he didn’t. He closed the door again and stood there with his back toward me. I rubbed my face with my hands and cursed, screaming out a slew of insults. Maybe that’s why he'd stayed. To hear me break down. He enjoyed the moment in silence. There was no I love you. No, he didn’t say a single word. I finished my rant. He didn’t move. A few minutes passed before Kegan turned to face me.

  “We’re done, unless….”

  I looked at him suspiciously. “Unless, what?” I felt like we had gone back in time and were standing in Mother Superior’s office again.

  “Unless you have a birthday present for me,” he said, grinning. “Do you have one?”

  “I am your birthday present,” I grumbled.

  He came toward me and stopped a few steps away. He was undressing me with his eyes, in stark contradiction to what had just happened. “My favorite dress.”

  “It’s not even white,” I pointed out angrily.

  Kegan took a few more steps toward me. “I said white is my favorite color.” He was now standing right in front of me. “Not that I always like it better than anything else.” He put his arm around me and pulled me close. “It’s been in your suitcase since I asked you to guess. You never checked.” He pulled me even closer to him. “I like your gift.”

  I felt indifferent to his statement. I was so angry: there was a part of me that wanted to strangle him. But the other part of me told me that I needed him and prayed that he needed me too.

  “I could unwrap it,” he said. “But once we’re done, you’d still have to leave...”

  I was just about to shower him with a new storm of insults when he added: “...unless you have enough money or valuables to exchange for my kisses and other sexual services.”

  “Valuables?” I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I tried to push his hands away but he held me tight.

  “Exactly. Something that would allow you to fuck me again.” A satisfied grin crept across his face. He tried to kiss me but I moved away. I was still too confused. Upset by his words. He knew I had nothing. He knew it. Why did he keep doing this to me? I wanted to run. I’d missed Kegan so desperately, but apparently he hadn’t missed me at all. My heart was beating like crazy, and not because I was close to him again. My heart was just as angry as I was.

  “I have the cell phone you gave me. Here, have it back and find someone else to fuck.” I pushed him away. Money first. That’s all he thought about. A knot formed in my throat.

  “I don’t want your cell phone.”

  I pretended I hadn’t heard him and went to get my bag. I was disappointed. Bitterly disappointed. If he’d left me alone in that room I would’ve thrown myself on the couch, the very same one we'd just had sex on, and slept until I'd forgotten everything. I’d never be able to get my mind straight. All I could think about was how this fucking night had devolved. I would need a centuries-long nap to clear my mind.

  “Maybe you have something else?” Kegan was intent on tormenting me some more. He stopped me before I could leave. His hands were on my hips. I could feel his breath on my neck. It all felt so unreal. My body was stiff against his. Kegan couldn’t see my face, but my expression was a mixture of anger and disbelief. He slipped his fingers underneath the bracelet around my left wrist. His bracelet. “This, for example. It doesn’t look like it’s worth much, but maybe I’m wrong.”

  Doubt began to make its way through the clouds of negative thoughts in my mind. I held my breath as hope crept in too. I tried to calm my heartrate.

  “How much is it worth, Sister?”

  A smile crept over my face. “Ten thousand billion dollars.”

  Kegan turned me to face him. “Well, I can’t say no to that, can I?” He touched my face as if he were trying to memorize every inch of my skin. The look on his face was the one I had hoped to see when he'd walked into the room. It was the look he'd had to hide for his cruel game to work.

  “I really hate you right now,” I said.

  His face lit up with a genuine smile. “That’s not true. You love me.” He picked me up and carried me back to the couch. In the blink of an eye we were laying down again. He couldn’t take his hands off me. He kissed me all over, as if he couldn’t stop. These kisses were different. They were sweet. They showed me that he missed me too, not just my body.

  “You are so naive,” he whispered into my hair. “You should’ve seen your face.” He kissed my chin and then my forehead. I couldn’t
be mad at him anymore. Happiness pushed everything else out of my mind. He was mine. He really was. I sucked on his neck, letting out a groan. “Do you love me? Despite everything?” Kegan stared at me, looking for an answer.

  I nodded. “I love you, despite everything.”

  His eyes were glowing with desire, but there was something more. Something I had never seen before. It was finally there. “This… this is right. Because now you know.”

  My heart swelled with indescribable emotions. I thought it might explode. I felt butterflies in my stomach, in my chest, everywhere. Kegan’s words had reached every cell of my body. I savored hearing those words that he finally had the strength to say. Now this was right. Now he knew.

  Kegan pulled himself up, grabbed my purse, and put it in my hands. “Now, ask me if I’m happy.” He helped me off the couch and then picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. As Kegan carried me away, the only thing I could think was that I had come back to my god. That I would have no other gods before him. The door to the room closed behind us.

  “Are you happy?”

  Kegan kissed me intensely and then started walking again. “Yes,” he murmured.

  We left Room 405. The hallway was empty, but I wouldn’t have noticed a difference even if there were thousands of people lining the walls. I was completely lost in worshipping my personal divinity.

  “I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m happy. Now I can be.”

  Hearing him say it made me even happier. I'd hoped he would say it, and he finally had. Now only one thing was missing. We both knew it. He brought his lips to my ear. I held my breath.

  “And now I’m dying to be inside you again.” Hearing him say it excited me. I looked up at the ceiling as he called the elevator. “I want to see your face when you come.” A wave of pleasure ran through me. Kegan would never change. It certainly wasn’t the romantic declaration of love I was expecting, but my hormones didn’t seem to mind. We stepped into the elevator. “Do you want to know if I love you?”

  I took a deep breath. My dreams were coming true. He hadn’t said it yet, but the three words had still come out of his mouth, and the effect they'd had over me was indescribable. It was just like I’d expected. As perfect as him inside me. Like his mouth on mine and on every other part of my body. Like my mouth on him. Everywhere. “Yes,” I replied, as soon as I was able to get over having heard his voice say those words.

  “I’ll tell you later,” he said, biting my shoulder and closing the elevator doors.

  “Where are we going?” I asked. I thought I knew, but I wanted him to say it. I wanted my heart to do another triple somersault inside my chest, and win the Olympics of Hearts in Love.

  He smirked. “We’re going home.”

  THE END

  Thank you for reading The Novice! If you enjoyed Kegan and Rose’s story, please consider leaving a review.

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  Looking for more steamy romances with billionaire alpha antiheroes? Check out Wall Street Titan by Anna Zaires! Flip the page to read an excerpt.

  Excerpt from Wall Street Titan by Anna Zaires

  A billionaire who wants a perfect wife...

  At thirty-five, Marcus Carelli has it all: wealth, power, and the kind of looks that leave women breathless. A self-made billionaire, he heads one of the largest hedge funds on Wall Street and can take down major corporations with a single word. The only thing he’s missing? A wife who’d be as big of an achievement as the billions in his bank account.

  A cat lady who needs a date…

  Twenty-six-year-old bookstore clerk Emma Walsh has it on good authority that she’s a cat lady. She doesn’t necessarily agree with that assessment, but it’s hard to argue with the facts. Raggedy clothes covered with cat hair? Check. Last professional haircut? Over a year ago. Oh, and three cats in a tiny Brooklyn studio? Yep, she’s got those.

  And yes, fine, she hasn’t had a date since… well, she can’t recall. But that part is fixable. Isn’t that what the dating sites are for?

  A case of mistaken identity…

  One high-end matchmaker, one dating app, one mix-up that changes everything... Opposites may attract, but can this last?

  I’m all but bouncing with excitement as I approach Sweet Rush Café, where I’m supposed to meet Mark for dinner. This is the craziest thing I’ve done in a while. Between my evening shift at the bookstore and his class schedule, we haven’t had a chance to do more than exchange a few text messages, so all I have to go on are those couple of blurry pictures. Still, I have a good feeling about this.

  I feel like Mark and I might really connect.

  I’m a few minutes early, so I stop by the door and take a moment to brush cat hair off my woolen coat. The coat is beige, which is better than black, but white hair is visible on anything that’s not pure white. I figure Mark won’t mind too much—he knows how much Persians shed—but I still want to look presentable for our first date. It took me about an hour, but I got my curls to semi-behave, and I’m even wearing a little makeup—something that happens with the frequency of a tsunami in a lake.

  Taking a deep breath, I enter the café and look around to see if Mark might already be there.

  The place is small and cozy, with booth-style seats arranged in a semicircle around a coffee bar. The smell of roasted coffee beans and baked goods is mouthwatering, making my stomach rumble with hunger. I was planning to stick to coffee only, but I decide to get a croissant too; my budget should stretch to that.

  Only a few of the booths are occupied, likely because it’s a Tuesday. I scan them, looking for anyone who could be Mark, and notice a man sitting by himself at the farthest table. He’s facing away from me, so all I can see is the back of his head, but his hair is short and dark brown.

  It could be him.

  Gathering my courage, I approach the booth. “Excuse me,” I say. “Are you Mark?”

  The man turns to face me, and my pulse shoots into the stratosphere.

  The person in front of me is nothing like the pictures on the app. His hair is brown, and his eyes are blue, but that’s the only similarity. There’s nothing rounded and shy about the man’s hard features. From the steely jaw to the hawk-like nose, his face is boldly masculine, stamped with a self-assurance that borders on arrogance. A hint of five o’clock shadow darkens his lean cheeks, making his high cheekbones stand out even more, and his eyebrows are thick dark slashes above his piercingly pale eyes. Even sitting behind the table, he looks tall and powerfully built. His shoulders are a mile wide in his sharply tailored suit, and his hands are twice the size of my own.

  There’s no way this is Mark from the app, unless he’s put in some serious gym time since those pictures were taken. Is it possible? Could a person change so much? He didn’t indicate his height in the profile, but I’d assumed the omission meant he was vertically challenged, like me.

  The man I’m looking at is not challenged in any way, and he’s certainly not wearing glasses.

  “I’m… I’m Emma,” I stutter as the man continues staring at me, his face hard and inscrutable. I’m almost certain I have the wrong guy, but I still force myself to ask, “Are you Mark, by any chance?”

  “I prefer to be called Marcus,” he shocks me by answering. His voice is a deep masculine rumble that tugs at something primitively female inside me. My heart beats even faster, and my palms begin to sweat as he rises to his feet and says bluntly, “You’re not what I expected.”

  “Me?” What the hell? A surge of anger crowds out all other emotions as I gape at the rude giant in front of me. The asshole is so tall I have to crane my neck to look up at him. “What about you? You look nothing like your pictures!”

  “I guess we’ve both been misled,” he says, his jaw tight. Before I can respond, he gestures toward the booth. “You might as well sit down and have a meal with me, Emmeline. I didn�
�t come all the way here for nothing.”

  “It’s Emma,” I correct, fuming. “And no, thank you. I’ll just be on my way.”

  His nostrils flare, and he steps to the right to block my path. “Sit down, Emma.” He makes my name sound like an insult. “I’ll have a talk with Victoria, but for now, I don’t see why we can’t share a meal like two civilized adults.”

  The tips of my ears burn with fury, but I slide into the booth rather than make a scene. My grandmother instilled politeness in me from an early age, and even as an adult living on my own, I find it hard to go against her teachings.

  She wouldn’t approve of me kneeing this jerk in the balls and telling him to fuck off.

  “Thank you,” he says, sliding into the seat across from me. His eyes glint icy blue as he picks up the menu. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

  “I don’t know, Marcus,” I say, putting special emphasis on the formal name. “I’ve only been around you for two minutes, and I’m already feeling homicidal.” I deliver the insult with a ladylike, Grandma-approved smile, and dumping my purse in the corner of my booth seat, I pick up the menu without bothering to take off my coat.

  The sooner we eat, the sooner I can get out of here.

  A deep chuckle startles me into looking up. To my shock, the jerk is grinning, his teeth flashing white in his lightly bronzed face. No freckles for him, I note with jealousy; his skin is perfectly even-toned, without so much as an extra mole on his cheek. He’s not classically handsome—his features are too bold to be described that way—but he’s shockingly good-looking, in a potent, purely masculine way.