Stranger in the Mirror [Shades of Heaven] (Soul Change Novel)

by Tina Wainscott

  “Only if I don’t think about the creatures that might be swimming right next to me. Hopefully they’ll bite you instead.” She gave him an impish smile. “Maybe they’d nip that arrogance right in the bud.”

  He made a motion beneath the water she guessed was covering his, er, bud. “You leave my bud out of this.”

  She laughed, but thinking about bud did strange things to her body, so she changed the subject. “Did you really like what I did with the living room or were you humoring me?”

  “I don’t lie, even if I should. Remember that if you’re going to ask me if something makes your butt look big. I like it. The curtains, not your butt. Well, your butt’s just fine, tight and curvy, and…” He cleared his throat. “We’re talking about the curtains. I was afraid you’d put something frilly in there. That was great what you did with the material above the window, twisting it like that.”

  She beamed, though she couldn’t imagine why his praise pleased her so. “It came to me, while I was looking at the fabric and trying to figure out what to do with it. I was thinking, maybe I could do something with the kitchen. Something small, to add the….”

  “Woman’s touch,” Jesse supplied, moving closer.

  She looked up at him, wondering why her legs felt so wobbly. Probably the mud beneath her feet. “You need a woman’s touch.”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  She cleared her throat. “We’re talking about the curtains.”

  His gaze dropped to her mouth, making her heart tighten. “Maybe.”

  “Jesse….”

  He took her face in his hands and pressed his mouth against hers. His eyes remained open, looking straight into hers. She had no idea what he saw there. She tried to force away the fear that surely lingered, wanting to replace it with a No signal.

  His mouth captured hers again, this time more intensely. He tucked her hair behind her ears, then closed his eyes and leaned down once again. Wherever his fingers touched her, the skin tingled.

  Her heart thudded around her ribs like a racquetball shot into an indoor court. She couldn’t catch her breath between kisses, couldn’t swallow. He parted her lips with his, then ran his tongue along her front teeth. Her mind warred with her senses, and her senses quickly gained ground. That feeling of refreshment evaporated into steam, and even the current seemed to pick up, forcing her to lean closer to him.

  Her body kicked into second gear without her consent, and she joined the kiss. He deepened it, and ah, what a kisser he was. His tongue stroked hers slowly, enticingly. A kiss with him was better than the whole shebang with other guys. She touched his arms with her fingertips, feeling the silky, fine hairs and firm muscles beneath. That slow seduction of her mouth had other parts of her body all hot and bothered, reminding her how bloody long it had been.

  Standing there nearly bare, she imagined them completely naked, pressed together with only droplets of water between them. And if they made love, what then?

  You’d be in big trouble.

  At first her senses bemoaned the intrusion of consequential thought. Yep, trouble, and they were only kissing. Her heart seemed ready to burst, not a good sign for one planning to leave in a few months. With a groan, she shook her head and backed away.

  “Jesse, what are you doing?” Her voice sounded hoarse and raw. “What are we doing?”

  “It’s called kissing down here. What do they call it in California?”

  She moved toward the bank, desperately trying to get away from him.

  He came up behind her, pulling her against him and leaning down next to her ear. “It was only a kiss.”

  His words, his breath on her ear, shuddered through her. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the feel of his strong arms holding her against his chest. Only a kiss? Maybe to you, mister, but not to me. Or was he just toying with her? Only a kiss.

  His body gave away that it was more than kiss to him, though. She felt the hard ridge of him pressed against her back.

  She turned to him. “I’m not interested.”

  “Sure as shooting didn’t seem like it to me.”

  “Instinct, nothing more.”

  “You’d melt into any guy’s arms if he kissed you, is that what you’re saying?”

  “I wasn’t melting into your arms,” she said a little too vehemently. “I was being pushed into you by the current.”

  “Is that why your mouth joined right in?”

  “Stop.”

  She turned and started climbing up the bank again. Her knees felt weak as she stumbled to get her balance.

  “Why are you getting so worked up over a kiss?” he asked from behind her.

  “Because that kind of kiss leads to something more. Why start something that will have to end soon?”

  He didn’t want her to stay. He’d said that more than once. And she didn’t want to stay either, she reminded herself.

  “Ah, so it was more than just instinct that got you worked up.”

  She dropped down to a grassy area, surprised to find him right behind her. He’d gotten worked up, too. She shifted her gaze away, but the sight of his erection tingled through her. He wanted her, pregnant, homely, however she felt about her new body, he wanted her.

  He sat beside her, propping his elbow on his bent knee. “What are you so afraid of?”

  “I’m not afraid. I just don’t want to start anything I can’t finish.”

  He moved closer, dropping his gaze to her mouth again. Panic raced through her veins, and she backed away.

  “Don’t tell me you’re not afraid. Every time I come near you, I can see it in your eyes, the way you move away.”

  She turned away. “Jesse, please don’t.”

  “Fine. If you’re afraid to even tell me about it….”

  “Don’t bait me. I don’t want to get involved with you.”

  He leaned forward, his face only inches from hers. “Even in some highly exhausting, unemotional lovemaking?”

  She pushed him back, her hand flat on the hard curve of his pecs. “Especially in some hi—that way.” Certain parts of her body disagreed with that notion. Those parts made it hard for her to pull her hand away from his cool, wet skin.

  “What would be so terrible about us doing the dirty? We are married, after all.”

  “I would be terrible. In bed.”

  She had to hide the smile of satisfaction at his shocked expression. That shock turned to outrage.

  “Did that Jamie guy tell you that?”

  “No, he was too nice to say anything like that. But it’s true.”

  “Don’t you want another opinion?”

  “You’ll have to take my word for it.”

  Water droplets slid down his body to drip on the towel beneath them. She suddenly felt self-conscious in her underthings next to Jesse who looked all kinds of interesting in his briefs.

  “You got all kinds of excuses, doll, but that kind of kiss only happens when there’s something hot between two people.” He wagged his finger to indicate him and her, but let that finger touch her stomach. He traced a droplet across the curve over her belly button. She shuddered, but his gaze remained on his ministrations.

  “You can stay here if you want. I mean live here, after the baby is born and all.” Only then did he meet her eyes.

  All she could do was look at him for a second before realizing he wasn’t kidding. He was inviting her to stay after telling her that he didn’t want any woman in his life to tangle him up. “Oh? Just like that?”

  He shrugged, looking more casual than she thought he should. “I’m just saying, consider it an option. What do you have in California, anyway? Why not stay here where you’ve got a home, a kind of family, and the baby?”

  She noted that he hadn’t mentioned a husband in there anywhere. This wasn’t a proposal. “I thought you didn’t want me to stay.”

  “I never said I didn’t want you to stay. I just promised, at your demand, that I wouldn’t try to convince you. And I’m not. I want
you to know you’re welcome to stay.”

  Why did his words leave her heart aching for something more? Foolishness.

  “A marriage of convenience, is that what you’re proposing?”

  He started to negate that, then shrugged. “I hadn’t thought of it that way, but yeah, you could live here with us. No romantic attachments, just two friends living together.”

  She gave him a dumbfounded look. “Then what was that you just did in the river? You don’t call smooching romantic?”

  He ducked his head, giving her an innocent grin. “Aw, that was just for fun.”

  She wanted to smack him, but she didn’t dare let on how mad she was. Just for fun, when her heart had been hammering in her throat. Only a kiss, that’s what he’d told her. Why couldn’t he tell her that he wanted her to stay, that he cared about her?

  “Thank you for your concern, Jesse, but I’ll pass on playing housemother to two kids.”

  He gave her an insulted look. “What was that comment for? I offered you a home.”

  “Well, I’m declining, thank you.” She got to her feet with amazing grace and started toward the house as she slipped her shirt on. “Besides, I’m sure it was only an offer.”

  Jesse had given much thought to the conversation he and Marti had had two weeks earlier. In fact, bits of it kept creeping into his thoughts at the oddest moments, like in the middle of giving Mr. Glaser’s old Mercury an oil change.

  A crisp Saturday morning, he couldn’t go back to sleep after he’d heard Marti leave for work. Now he walked along the riverbank wondering why his mind and heart weren’t coordinating. He thought about their swim and rolled his eyes at his stupidity. Telling her the kiss was just for fun—geez, what was he thinking?

  He wanted it to be for fun. But even he couldn’t deny it was more than that, not if he was going to be the tiniest bit honest. He didn’t know why he’d even kissed her to begin with, though the idea was becoming a preoccupation.

  The asking her to stay part was the only planned action he’d taken. He still didn’t want to get emotionally involved with her, despite what Desiree had said the other day. Racing was more important than that mushy stuff. He wasn’t in love with Marti, probably just horny.

  He enjoyed having her around, and it seemed logical for her to stay on after the baby was born. He still couldn’t figure out her hostility about the offer.

  The sound of a car pulling into the drive drew his attention as Bumpus tore across the dried leaves. He didn’t recognize the car, but he knew the two boys who jumped out and fussed over the dog: Turk and Clint, Abbie’s kids. The tall, slim brunette stepped out of the car, and he hardly recognized her.

  “Wow, look at you,” he said, his attention on Abbie even as the boys jumped into his arms. “You look great. And you two, look how you’ve grown.” The boys looked more like their dad than ever, but he wasn’t going to tell Abbie that.

  After a few minutes of greetings, Abbie said, “Turk, why don’t you take your little brother down by the river?”

  “Aw, Mom, I wanna see Uncle Jesse. We just got here!”

  “You can go swimming,” she said with a lift in her voice. “And we can spend more time with Jesse tonight, if he doesn’t mind.”

  Turk trained his hazel eyes on his mother, then shifted them to Jesse. “‘Sat okay with you, Uncle Jesse?”

  Jesse mussed the boy’s hair. “Sure fire, it is.”

  “Okay. C’mon, Clint,” the seven-year-old said, taking his little brother’s hand. “See you later, Uncle Jess.”

  He waved to the boys, who were grumbling about being sent away, then gave Abbie a hug. “I can’t believe what I see. You back, after two years. And looking like this. A business suit, hair all done up.”

  She looked down demurely. “Well, you know I can’t do a thing with this hair. I gave up perming it and let it grow straight. Some things you just can’t fight, know what I mean?”

  Why did Marti come to mind on that statement?

  Abbie’s fine dark hair, parted down the middle, framed her broad, pale face. He sensed an uneasiness beneath her confident poise as she leaned against the car.

  “I got tired of the city, so I packed the boys in the car and headed down. I had an interview today for a position at a bank branch in Ft. Myers.” She twisted her mauve lips and narrowed her eyes. “Jesse, you didn’t tell me you were married when we spoke at Christmas.”

  He shrugged. “You didn’t ask. I didn’t feel like saying anything to the boys, and everybody was there.”

  “Well, I was… sort of hoping that we might be able to stay with you for a few days, until I find a place to live. I remembered that you had a second bedroom.”

  “I’d love to let you use it, but Marti’s in there.” At her raised eyebrow, he went on. “We have separate bedrooms.”

  Strangely enough, her expression lightened at his admission. “I’m sorry to hear things aren’t working out between you.”

  “It’s not as simple as that. She’s leaving after the baby’s born.”

  Abbie’s eyes widened at that one. “Leaving? With the baby?”

  “No. The baby’s staying with me. It’s a long story, but I’m okay with it.”

  “Really?”

  Eager to change the subject, he asked, “Have you seen Billy yet?”

  “No. I didn’t come back to see him. I came back to see you.” She laughed nervously. “For two years, I’ve had this fantasy about you. I’d come back, and you’d fall in love with me. Crazy, huh?” She didn’t give him time to answer. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about you, especially after we talked at Christmas. So I came down. Your wife didn’t quite fit into the fantasy and neither did a baby. Don’t laugh at me, Jesse. I’ve been awfully lonely, and I always had this thing for you, even when I was mar—”

  Jesse put his finger over her lips. “Abbie, if you’re serious, I’m flattered.”

  “But,” she said with a certain finality. “I know you don’t feel the same about me.”

  “It’s not even that. You were married to my brother.”

  She laughed bitterly. “Billy never loved me. I was pregnant with Turk, so he did the required thing. You know as well as I that I, or our sons, don’t mean much to him. The four of us were more of a family, even back then.” She gestured to him. “I wanted to see if, with Billy long out of my life, there was anything there for us. But I chickened out when I got here and went to see your mom first, to test the waters.”

  “What did she tell you?”

  “Nothing more than you were married and expecting a baby. Of course, she filled me in on Billy’s life, as if I care. Maybe she figured I came back to reunite with him. I know it would make her happy, but it would be hell for me. I told her not to count on that.”

  Jesse was trying to assimilate what she was saying. The boys’ laughter, drifting on the wind, interfered with his thought process. “So, what are your plans?”

  She took his hands in hers, swinging them nervously. “Well, that depends on you, I guess. They’ve changed a little since I got here. But I still have a proposition for you.”

  “A proposition, huh?” He was trying to lighten the conversation, but her expression was intense. “Okay, shoot.”

  “I want you to think about your baby and my boys. Why don’t we get married?”

  CHAPTER 12

  Even before Marti pulled in to find the strange car sitting in the driveway, she sensed the intrusion into her territory. Strewn along the path to the front door were children’s toys: a red spotted ball, a plastic baseball bat, and a spongy baseball. Even the absence of Bumpus’s sloppy greeting felt amiss.

  The noise she expected to hear when she walked inside made the silence even more profound.

  “Jesse? Bumpus?”

  Nothing. She changed out of her greasy uniform and slipped into jean shorts and a white shirt. As soon as she walked out back, a high-pitched child’s squeal pierced the air. She followed it down to the river.

 
The disquiet that had settled under her skin sunk deeper when she saw a woman sitting next to Jesse on the bank. They were laughing at something in the water. Whoever she was, she felt relaxed around him, touching his shoulder as she giggled. She was wearing crisp white pants and a blue dress shirt, and beneath her was a towel Jesse had thoughtfully placed to keep those pants clean.

  Bumpus’s greeting barks made the pair turn around. Jesse got to his feet and walked toward her with an easy smile. She wished she could look that easy-going. He put his arm around her and steered her toward the woman.

  “Hey, doll, I want you to meet someone.” The woman stood and extended her manicured hand. “This is Abbie, Billy’s ex-wife. And those rugrats in the river are her boys, Turk and Clint.”

  Abbie squeezed Marti’s hand, giving her a warm smile. The boys perfunctorily waved and went back to splashing each other. Marti found it hard to imagine this attractive woman married to Billy.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Marti. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  Marti forced a smile. “Nothing bad, I hope.”

  “No, of course not.” He gave her a slight shake of his head; he hadn’t told this woman the truth.

  Jesse gave Abbie a sideways hug. “When this lady left, she was running around barefoot in cut-off jeans.” He gave her an appraising look. “Then she shows up in a business suit, a sophisticated banker from the big city.”

  Marti felt grubby all of a sudden. If she’d known the visitor was a woman, she would have dressed nicer.

  Abbie smiled modestly. “I’ve been working my way up. I manage the loan department at one of the largest banks in Atlanta.”

  Marti forced a smile. “That’s great. And you’re down for… a vacation?”

  She gave Jesse a look that smacked of intimacy. “It depends. I’ve interviewed at a bank in Ft. Myers for the management position.”

  “Marti’s been working on redecorating the house. I keep telling her she should start advertising. She’s good.”

  She beamed at his compliment, glad he didn’t mention the waitress part. The boys climbed up on the bank and flopped their wet bodies on the dirt and leaves. They were cute, with brown hair and hazel eyes rimmed with long, wet eyelashes. Both studied her with Billy’s scrutinizing eyes.