Call of the Raven

by Shawn Reilly

  “I really appreciate you doing this,” Mea said, from her seat at the kitchen table.

  “You have to keep the dye on for twenty minutes and then wash it out,” Elle told her. She went into the living room where Mary was watching a cartoon and collapsed on the couch. Had Mea not waken her out of her depressed slumber, Elle would have remained in bed. “What is that you’re watching?” she asked Mary.

  All morning Mea had been trying to talk to her but Elle wasn’t in a talkative mood. Elle didn’t see the point in talking. Her situation was hopeless. Nothing would ever change, at least not for her.

  “Its ‘American anime’ but it’s not as good as the books you read.”

  “The characters don’t even look real,” Elle grunted. “Hatori’s look real at least.”

  Mea sat on the other end of the couch. Elle was glad she was keeping her distance. The chemical smell of the hair dye was starting to play havoc with her stomach.

  “Mary, would you mind going to your room a moment?” Mea’s tone drew Elle out of the funk she was in. Elle waited for Mary to obey before she turned her eyes on Mea, but she spoke first. “Elle you’ve been moping around for days. You need to tell—”

  “I’m pregnant,” Elle cut her off. She had meant to take Mea by surprise but she responded with a solemn nod. Elle on the other hand started crying. “Mea what am I going to do?”

  A sad expression crossed Mea’s face. “Elle, you’ve got to get away from him before he hurts or kills you both. That’s what you’re going to do.”

  “You make it sound so easy. I would have been gone a long time ago if I had some place to go. I have no money, no family. Even then, Julio may claim that he doesn’t want me but he always manages to find me. Believe me those fights you’ve overheard are nothing in comparison to what he puts me through afterwards when I try to leave. There is no place or no one that could protect me from him.”

  “Elle don’t give up on me.”

  Elle turned her head away and started watching the cartoon again. “You better check the clock. I think it’s been twenty minutes.”

  Once Mea left to wash the dye from her hair, Elle hurried out the door. She didn’t want to talk to her anymore. Mea was convinced that Grant was still alive, thanks to an ex-boyfriend gang member in a leather jacket trying to take her kid, and she was off living in her own fantasy world.

  Finding Grant however and living happily ever after was an illusion, a dream. Things like that didn’t happen to women like them. Things like that didn’t happen in real life. Real life was shacking up with a man you didn’t love just to have the security of a roof over your head.

  Elle shut the door behind her and quickly flipped on the lights. Julio wasn’t sitting on the couch but only after she thoroughly inspected every last closet, and space big enough for him to hide, did she relax. Julio had been doing that a lot lately, hiding in places she wouldn’t think to look and spying on her.

  Going to the bathroom, Elle took out a tube of ointment from the medicine cabinet and applied some to the teeth marks on her neck. She really hated Julio and the last thing she wanted was to have his child. She wanted a distraction, something to help pass time and take her mind off her problems, but there wasn’t anything.

  She couldn’t read since Julio had stood over her until every last page of Hatori’s book had burned in the big roaster his mother had given them for Christmas. She didn’t want to watch television because when she was reminded just how fictional happy endings really were, she became even more depressed. With nothing better to do, Elle climbed out onto the fire escape and sat down.

  “Hello Miss Rosemary,” Elle said without turning. She had heard the little girl coming up the ladder rungs and even though she didn’t want company, she knew she was about to get some.

  “Mom left and told me to stay in the house. She said she had some things to do and was going to look for a job. I kind of got the impression that she would be gone a few days.”

  “Are you worried about that?” Elle asked.

  “I’ve been alone most of my life whether she’s home or not.” Mary sat down next to her and Elle turned sideways so that she could see the little girl’s face. “I know,” Mary sighed, “I talk older than any ten-year-old you know.”

  “I guess that’s a good thing because that means you’re smart and that means a lot, these days.”

  “You’re smart Elle.”

  “If I were smart I wouldn’t be here now— meaning in this mixed up mess of a life.”

  “Had you been given the chance Elle, what would you have done with your life?”

  “I read about the adventures Pain goes through in the Tale of The Two Brothers and sometimes I think I might want to have such adventures. I think about traveling and seeing things that I’ve never seen before like the ocean and the Smoky Mountains.”

  Elle moaned wistfully. “I think it would be nice to have friends and a family like the one Pain has. I think of big houses with families gathering on the holidays, where everyone is laughing and having fun. Truthfully, I’ve never thought about me, what I would like to be personally. I don’t see myself as a doctor or flight attendant or anything like that. Those things aren’t important to me.”

  “Well I want to know my dad,” Mary said. “I don’t believe he’s still alive like my mom does, but it would be nice to know things about him other than his name and the fact he used to sing her some silly song. But,” Mary hesitated, “I think the best thing…the most important thing to me…ever, would be to tell someone my secret. I want to tell them what I am.” Mary’s eyes, wide and beseeching, rose slowly up to Elle’s.

  “Okay,” Elle shivered. “You’re really creping me out.”

  Mary nodded. “Yes, but that’s probably about to get worse. I’m like one of the shifters in your book Elle. I can change into an animal. That’s why I started following you to work so I could hear more of your stories.”

  “I think I’m going to go inside now Mary.” Elle rose to her feet. “When you’re out of this weird mood you’re in, we’ll talk more.”

  “It’s ok Elle,” Mary said with her eyes still on her. “I didn’t expect you to believe me. I was just hoping you would.”

  ***

  There was nothing in the fridge to eat and Mary was hungry. She hadn’t eaten anything of nutritional value for two days. There were no more Moon pies and the handful of Cheerio’s wasn’t enough to control her hunger. She closed the fridge and went to the cabinet. She’d done this several times in the last couple of hours.

  This trip didn’t reveal anything new either. She hadn’t expected it too. There was nothing there but flour, sugar and a few broken stale taco shells. She couldn’t recall them ever having tacos. Mary couldn’t eat them. It was hard telling how long they’d been there.

  Taking the Cheerio box from the shelf, Mary poured the last of it into her hand. She slowly chewed as she watched a roach crawl across a greasy stove burner. Inwardly, she hoped there weren’t any hiding in the cereal box. She moved again to the fridge hoping mysteriously that something had appeared since the last time she checked. Her mother had told her not to leave the apartment or Mary would have gone begging again.

  People were starting to talk about the dirty little girl that knocked on doors asking for food, and mom was starting to get worried that social services would show up soon. It wouldn’t be the first time that they did on the account of Mary’s wandering.

  Finding it hopeless, Mary slammed the fridge door shut and returned to her room. Sitting down on the bed she picked up the book that Elle gave her. She opened it to the first page and started reading, but the words didn’t make sense. Setting it aside, Mary felt like crying. She hated her life and she had so hoped that Elle would believe her.

  A loud noise startled Mary and quickly she bolted upright. Mom still wasn’t home. Many times in the last couple days she had been tempted to ask Elle to come downstairs and keep her company, but Elle had not only been avoiding her, her boyf
riend had been spending a lot more time at home. Just when Mary thought that it might be her mom returning she realized that the voices she heard belonged to two men. As something loud crashed to the floor, Mary instinctively hid under the bed.

  “Make it look like a robbery and I’ll see if the kid is in her room.”

  Mary scooted closer to the wall and pushed the box of cars in front of her face. Reaching out from under the bed she quickly pulled some dirty laundry toward her and tried to conceal the rest of her body, all the while hoping that her feet weren’t poking out from the end of the child size bed.

  “Man this place is a dump.”

  Hard footsteps neared and Mary held very still and tried not to breathe. She thought of the bugs she often saw crawling on the floor when she was lying in her bed at night. Her dirty discarded clothes hadn’t been washed for weeks and the smell was attracting them. Suddenly she saw a boot between the box of cars and a musty smelling towel.

  “She’s not here, but come have a look at this book.”

  More footsteps neared, maybe three sets in all. It was too hard for Mary to tell. Not all of the intruders could fit into her small room, so they stayed in the kitchen. One of the men laughed.

  “Oh how cute she’s reading a book about shifters, so that can only mean one thing. She’s questioning what she is.”

  “Is that good or bad?”

  “What’s it matter she’s just a kid. We need to find her quick before they do.”

  Mary felt something crawling on her head and closed her eyes resisting the urge to swipe it away. The bug moved down unto her forehead and on her left eyelid. She pinched them tight as the feelers touched the bridge of her nose. A horrible thought crossed her mind. What if the thing decided to climb up her nose or into her unprotected ear? The footsteps moved away just as Mary felt a sneeze coming on. Carefully, at the sound of breaking glass and things crashing to the floor, Mary reached up and swatted the roach from her face. She knew it was there still, somewhere on the floor with a bunch of his buddies, but she tried not to think about that.

  And then she smelled it…smoke.

  “I don’t get it, the fire’s supposed to cover up the fact we snatched the kid but she’s not even here.”

  “We’ll find her eventually. Now come on lets go. She likes to hang out at the library.”

  ***

  Elle turned on the shower and waited for the water to get hot before pulling the curtain back and stepping in. Closing her eyes she allowed the warm heat to run down upon her head and tender shoulders, but little did it do to relieve her tension. She felt sore all over and her stomach ached from the dry heaves she had suffered all morning.

  There wasn’t much to throw up when the only thing she could keep down was crackers and water. She was sick, so sick. Julio hadn’t come home again, but it wasn’t the first time he had stayed away. It wasn’t the first time he had someone else. Elle felt like screaming.

  She wanted out more than ever.

  She wanted to run away as far as possible, some place where he would never find her, someplace where she would be safe and taken care of, but just like she told Mea there was no such place. Besides, she was far too weak to try and she wouldn’t get far on what little money she had managed to tuck away. She put her trembling hand on her flat stomach, knowing it wouldn’t remain like that for long.

  Oh God, she just wanted to drift away…so far away.

  Feeling dizzy, Elle quickly washed her body and hair and got out. She didn’t care much about trying to beautify herself when she felt like human garbage, besides Julio was always saying she was ugly anyway so what did it matter. Wrapping a towel around her head she pulled on a flannel robe and left the bathroom a mess.

  She staggered back to her bed and collapsed. Closing her eyes she figured she should wait for the room to stop spinning before she got dressed. She could feel it again that greasy bile moving up her esophagus. She was going to get sick again and real soon, but all she wanted was just a few seconds of peace, of unhindered rest.

  Somewhere a door slammed and Elle awoke. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep. She had meant to pour over the classifieds in search of a job. She sat up and eyed the clock on the nightstand. Julio was home and there was no supper. Rushing to her dresser she pulled out panties, bra, tee-shirt and jeans and put them on. She heard the refrigerator door slam.

  Julio was mad.

  She looked at herself in the mirror. Her honey blonde hair had dried in the towel and no amount of brushing could free it of its lumps and bumps. She could wet it down later once she saw to Julio’s dinner. The best she could do was brush it back in a ponytail, but nothing could conceal her hollow unhealthy eyes.

  She looked bad and she knew it. Julio eyed her coldly when she entered the kitchen. The disgust was apparent as he sipped his last beer. She had looked to that last beer as a hope that this night he wouldn’t get drunk, but by the smell and look of him, he had several before coming home.

  “Where have you been?” he demanded.

  Elle looked at him in disbelief. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” The majority of their fights had started because she didn’t know how to keep her mouth shut, but the question was ridiculous.

  “The only business you need to be concerned about is your own. The burger I sat out to thaw this morning is still in the fridge and the newspaper hasn’t been touched. You got to get a job. You got to be working. I’m tired of being the only one paying bills.”

  Elle went to the counter and started pulling dirty dishes out of the sink. She hadn’t been out of the apartment for two days and found his accusation ludicrous. He made it sound like she was sneaking down to the neighbors every day. The smell of rotting food assaulted her nose and Elle fought to remain in control.

  “I’ve been sick Julio. I’ve been in bed all day.” Elle glanced over her shoulder figuring by the looks of her it wouldn’t be too hard for him to believe.

  She would never consider Julio a handsome man. He had a broad nose, wide mouth and his dark almost black eyes were often filled with hate. At one time he had claimed to care about her. At one time he had offered her protection. Although short, he had the stocky body of a fighter and she had clung to that strength, only to learn the person she needed protection from was him. She no longer cried when she thought of him holding some other woman in his arms, and sometimes she even longed for it, knowing that as long as he had someone else, he left her alone.

  “There’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just gotten lazy,” he said. She started running water in the dishpan. She squirted in dish soap. She was about to tell him to go watch television while she fried him up a hamburger, but the next words floored her. “You’ve gotten uglier too. You disgust me.”

  And then Elle felt it, that hatred she’d tried to suppress over the years. “How would you know?” She spun around. “You don’t look at me anymore because you seldom come home?”

  “Maybe I would come home if I had something to come home to.” Suddenly he was in her face, talking in his mean way with the stench of beer and onions on his breath, which only proceeded to turn her stomach. “I pay the bills here because I’m the man and don’t you forget it!”

  “Yes you’re the man.” Elle dared meeting his angry glare. “Or then you used to be, before you started hitting on a woman.” Instantly Julio’s hand was on her throat pulling her toward him.

  She felt the fingers of his other hand grinding into her right arm as they fought and moved about the floor in a strange sort of dance. Gasping for breath, Elle dug her fingernails into his chest, arm and face, wherever she could get a hold.

  Julio had never tried to strangle her before and the thought of dying in such a way caused Elle to fight all the harder. She kicked and punched until Julio finally released her sending her back against the kitchen sink so hard whatever breath she had left escaped her lungs.

  “You,” she spat sucking in air, “are no man!”

  Julio started forward with al
l intentions of finishing the job when the sound of loud police sirens pulling into the front parking lot made him abruptly turn away. He looked in the direction of the window and the fire escape and then back at her, and an evil smile crossed his thick lips.

  “I’ll be back. You can count on it.”

  Elle stood clinging to the counter as Julio lowered the noisy metal ladder down to the alley. She dare not move until she heard his footsteps fading farther and farther away, one rung at a time. Only then once she was sure that he was gone did she move. A deep severe pain tore at her back as she went to the front window that looked down over the parking lot.

  She could see an ambulance, a cop car and just pulling in was a fire truck. Whoever had called this time had meant business. Usually the only ones that showed up were the same two sober faced police officers, who explained in their monotone voices, that until she decided to press charges there wasn’t anything they could do to help her.

  This time, Elle didn’t plan on staying long enough to talk to them or explain that she was afraid to send Julio to jail, knowing eventually he would get out and come looking for her. Racing to her bedroom, Elle worked feverishly for fear of chickening out and changing her mind. Anything was better than staying in her current torment.

  She cried in rage and pain as she dragged the suitcase out from under the bed and threw it on the ugly purple bedspread. Julio’s mother had very bad taste and they acquired most of their things from her over the years.

  Elle had no attachment to anything in the apartment and she owned very little. It didn’t take long to empty out her two drawers and grab the articles, her meager collection of work clothes from the closet and tossed them inside, hangers and all. She grabbed toiletries from the bathroom and the crackers from the kitchen. She had need of nothing else. The gifts Julio had bought her over the years, she didn’t want. Most of the time they were cheap bribe gifts to get back in her good graces after he hurt her. She wanted nothing that reminded her of him, nothing.