by Ashley John
She spun back around to Joshua, stepping toward him. Her hand reached out to touch Joshua’s suit but his reactions stopped her. With his fingers around her wrist, he wasn’t as kind as Ezra. He tossed her arm away, not caring if he hurt her. There was venom in her eyes but she didn’t look like she was going to lash out at Joshua the same she did to her ex-husband.
“What’s going on?” Violet appeared in the kitchen doorway, her dress glowing against the backdrop of stainless steel.
She still looked every inch the angel and he felt so much guilt for doing this on her wedding day.
“We can hear the screams in there,” she pointed back to the ballroom, “over the music.”
Her eyes landed on Jade and after a quick once over, the disgust was loud in her judgemental stare. Violet didn’t invite her. Christopher quickly appeared behind Violet’s shoulder and they both walked into the kitchen.
“Jade?” Christopher cried, “I should have known it’d be you.”
“Thanks for the invite, cousin,” she held both of her middle fingers up, “didn’t think we’d find you out here in the sticks, did you? Your stupid wife put the invite on Facebook and made it public.”
Violet looked to Christopher apologetically with a shrug.
“Wait, cousin?” Ezra laughed, “That’s where I know you from.”
He clicked his fingers, pleased with himself that he’d figured things out. Joshua wished he knew what the hell was going on.
“How do you all know each other?” Christopher crossed his arms and smiled curiously at the unlikely trio.
“You remember my husband, don’t you cousin? I know he’s had a bit of a make over, but it’s still him. Strange what money does to some folks and what they’ll do to cling onto it.”
“Ezra?” the smile turned to a scowl, “If I’d have known -,”
“Ex-husband,” Violet jumped in, “that’s what you said Joshua? Ex-husband?”
“Ex?” she howled again, “Ezra, you dickhead.”
Joshua shook his head to the ground, his blonde hair covering his face. Leaning back on his hips, he looked up at the strip lighting, hoping for an answer.
“Will somebody explain what is going on?” Joshua cried out.
“We’re still married, darlin’,” Jade’s smirk was stained with arrogance, “never divorced.”
Joshua looked to Ezra and the look on his face said it all. It was true. The next thing Joshua knew, he could feel Violet’s wedding dress on his skin as he left the kitchen. He could hear Ezra calling to him to offer an explanation but he didn’t want to hear it.
I don’t want to hear any of it.
Before Joshua knew what he was doing, he was standing in the grounds with a cigarette shakily balancing in between his lips. Looking up at the sky as the smoke left his mouth, he wondered how he could be in this situation. Have I really had my eyes closed this entire time?
He found himself at the archway where he’d been with Ezra less than an hour ago. He’d seemed on edge then but Joshua had ignored it. Maybe he knew the cat was about to crawl out of the bag?
Under the arch, he saw a shadow and he almost headed back but it was only his Auntie Jackie, so he joined her under the archway.
“You know trees are flammable,” she jumped when Joshua ducked in, dropping her cigarette to the ground to stomp on it.
“I thought you were Violet,” she slapped him on the arm as he passed her a fresh cigarette, “she thinks I quit a year ago but all of this wedding stress, it’s getting to me.”
Joshua decided to humour her so he nodded. She hadn’t been near the house since he’d been there, so he guessed she was somehow sympathetically feeling her daughter’s pain.
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” he lit her cigarette for her and she puffed out that initial cloud of smoke into the thick leaves above.
“I must say, I never expected to see you with Ezra,” her laugh was a little twisted, “your father would die if he was – bad choice of words. You know what I mean. He was a traditional man. I would have loved to have seen his face when you were taking pictures outside the church. Don’t worry about me though, all of my friends are gay.”
A quick wink and a soft pat on the arm told him that he didn’t have to worry about explaining himself to her. It only made him feel worse. He’d thrown all of his own rules out of the window for Ezra and he no longer knew where he stood.
“What if I told you I’ve just been made a fool of?”
She turned to him and waited for him to speak, letting him know it was okay to spill the beans to Auntie Jackie. In a way, she was just like her daughter. Growing up as a teenager, he always knew he had a listening ear or two at Jackie’s house.
“Have you met Tobias before?”
“Bald guy? Tight suits?” she squinted, “Went to see him after your father died to find out I wasn’t left a penny in the will.”
Joshua knew that feeling all too well.
“He just gave me a letter from my father, written to the lawyer who signed everything over to Ezra. My dad didn’t trust Ezra and he wanted information about him.”
“I don’t trust him either!” she pointed her cigarette at him between two fingers, “Not one little bit! He was creeping around your dad’s place when I went to see him.”
“You went to see him?”
He didn’t know why this surprised him. They were siblings but they weren’t close. Had they really swallowed their pride and got over their lifelong feud before he died? He hoped so. I just wish I could have done the same.
“’Course I did,” she nodded, “all he could talk about was you.”
“Me?”
“You,” she nodded so low, her greying blonde hair sprung out from behind her ears, “he was convinced you were going to take over the company. He thought this was your time to step up and be the man he knew you could be. That Ezra was hanging around outside. I wouldn’t be surprised if he heard every word and threatened your old man with something. I bet you, he had something on your father!”
It wasn’t the first time he’d heard that and he was starting to believe it. What he couldn’t believe was his father wanting him to step up and take control, despite him leaving the country when he was eighteen. It had ended on such a sour note, so what changed in those seven years? Did death soften him, once and for all?
Part of him still didn’t want to believe that Ezra would be that guy. There was cold, hard proof that Tobias’ suspicions of Ezra Steele were right all along. The second will, the letter and now his Auntie retelling his exact words were the final nail in the coffin Joshua needed.
“I really have been made a fool of,” Joshua stomped on the cigarette as he blew out the last of the smoke, “I let myself get sucked into Ezra’s world. I ignored my judgement. I thought my father did this to spite me as a final ‘fuck you’.”
“No!” she cried, “When I left him, he was full of regret but he was also full of hope for the future. He wanted you to be the boss of Silverton Industries, not that imposter. I told him that he should let you find your own way, but he was so sure that this is what you needed.”
Was it what Joshua needed? The more he heard about his father on his deathbed, the more he thought it was exactly what he needed. As a teenager, he’d been nothing but a disappointment but there was still time to put things right.
“This is what I thought at first, but Ezra is so -,”
“Charismatic?” Jackie rolled her eyes, “Isn’t that always the way? How do you think your Uncle Ralf knocked me up? Complete waste of space but he could charm the skin off a snake. I knew that lowlife wouldn’t turn up today. I bet Violet is heartbroken.”
Had Ezra really been charming him this whole time, just to get what he wanted? The more subdued Joshua was, the less chance there was that he would challenge Ezra.
“I might have still believed him, even after reading my dad’s letter,” he leaned against the branches of the archway and looked up to the moon as it poked throug
h the natural slats, “I found out he’s married.”
“Married?” she cried, “To a woman?”
“They’re not together. I don’t think they’ve been together for years, but that’s not the point. He didn’t tell me and things were starting to get pretty serious. It just makes me wonder what else he’s lying to me about.”
“Men lie,” she said matter-of-factly, “not to be rude or anything, but they do. It’s in their makeup. It goes back to the caveman times. Survival! Some men, like you, are better at being honest but some men can’t help it.”
She was painting every man with the same brush but he knew what she was trying to say. Maybe Ezra was the liar and Joshua had been too gullible?
Violet appeared in the archway, her wedding dress glowing ethereally under the moon’s light.
“Have you been smoking?” she looked to the ground at the three stamped out cigarettes.
“They’re all his,” Auntie Jackie pointed straight to Joshua, “poor thing is stressed.”
Violet clearly didn’t believe her but she gave her mother a ‘we’ll talk about this later’ look. Turning to Joshua, her expression softened and her hand quickly wrapped around his shoulder. The tight squeeze was meant to be a comfort but it only made him feel worse. I’m ruining her wedding.
“He’s searching the house for you,” her voice was soft, “he just wants to talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to him,” and he meant it.
She squeezed again but with a shrug, he tucked his hair behind his ears and strengthened his pose.
“I think he just wants to explain,” whose side is she on?
“No, he wants to manipulate me. You don’t know what I know, Vi.”
She instantly shot to her mother and said, “What have you been telling him?”
“The truth!” Jackie fired back, “Bill wanted Joshua to have it all. Ezra did something, Violet. We all know it and it’s better that Joshua knows now, rather than later. Did you want him to fall in love with that slime ball and then find out?”
Love.
Joshua’s insides performed a painful dance. His heart rate increased and he felt sick to his stomach.
“Sometimes things aren’t always as they seem,” she was trying to sound as calming as possible, but it was coming across as irritating, “C’mon, let’s go up to the house and I’ll get somebody to make you some tea and -,”
“I don’t need tea,” he said firmly, “I know what I need to do. Where’s Levi?”
“I saw him going off with two of my bridesmaids,” she rolled her eyes.
“He’ll be fine,” he kissed them both on the cheek, “I’m sorry this had to be tonight, Vi. I’ll make it up to you. Promise.”
She called after him but he couldn’t listen because he’d want to listen to her. He couldn’t have anybody trying to distract him because he knew exactly who he needed to see.
Jumping out of the taxi, he ran straight up to Violet’s bathroom and dug around in the laundry basket. He searched through every jacket pocket until he found the creased business card he was looking for. On one side, the ‘Silverton Industries’ logo glittered in the light and on the other side, it read ‘Graham Rodgers. Shareholder/Director’ followed by a phone number.
Wasting no time, he dialled the number and Graham answered straight away. Ditching the card, he headed straight back to the taxi and headed into London city centre.
Joshua walked along the River Thames path, the city lights and Tower Bridge acting as his backdrop. As he narrowed on the man sat on the bench in the distance, he knew it was who he was there to see.
“I must say, I was glad to hear from you,” Graham stood up and shook Joshua’s hand, “although I wasn’t expecting it so late at night.”
Joshua didn’t know what time it was but he knew it couldn’t have been past ten. Graham was wearing a long sand-coloured trench coat buttoned up to his chin. He was wearing a pair of suit trousers but no socks and a pair of old trainers.
Sitting next to Graham, he looked across the water at the city he’d once called home. Staring at the skyline, he couldn’t help but notice the different buildings that had popped up over the years. Everything had moved on without him but it was time for him to catch up.
“Ezra Steele,” Joshua lit up a cigarette, offering one to Graham, “what do you know?”
Graham turned down the cigarette with a dry smirk on his face. After a moment of careful consideration, he rested his chin against his chest, the skin on his neck creasing multiple times.
“I know that he’s running the company into the ground,” he spoke carefully and concisely, “I would have brought the proof, but I didn’t know -,”
“I believe you,” Joshua tapped the ash to the ground, “how’s he doing that?”
Graham smirked again and Joshua knew he was playing into his hands, but he didn’t care. Graham had worked with his father a lot longer than Ezra had and even if his father secretly never liked Graham, it didn’t mean he didn’t know the company.
“Risky investments. It looks like things are holding steady but profit margins are slowly dropping. If he carries on like he is, in ten years, it won’t be your name on that tower.”
Trying to imagine a London without Silverton Tower felt strange. He’d been trying to ignore it for most of his life but as he looked out at the skyline, it was the first building his eye went to. It wasn’t the tallest or the biggest but it had a power that people respected.
“What do we need to do?” Joshua looked up to the stars, trying to imagine what his father would do in his situation.
“Some of the board is meeting on Wednesday,” Graham leaned forwards and rested his forearms on his thighs, “come along and bring your lawyer. We can back him into a corner. Shake the truth out of him. Tobias Cole, isn’t it?”
Joshua nodded and tossed the cigarette in the direction of the water. It missed, so he watched the amber light slowly die out.
“I’ll call him and see what he knows,” Graham stood up, “but everybody thinks the same. It should be you on the top floor of that tower. I know it’s not what you want, but it’s what’s best -,”
“I want it,” Joshua stood up, “I just never realised how much.”
“Good man,” Graham shook his hand firmly as he slapped his shoulder, “it’s what your dad would want.”
He watched Graham disappear into the night. Walking over to the edge of the water, he leaned over the railing and looked down into the lights reflecting on the calm surface of the murky river.
‘It’s what your dad would want.’
He knew it was too late to truly know but it somehow felt right. Blinking hard, he tried to forget every memory of Ezra Steele. A stranger in a suit would be easier to fight.
He’s just a stranger…no matter what your heart says.
Ezra didn’t sleep. He couldn’t. Walking across the graveyard, he breathed in the cold Sunday morning air. He may not have slept but it didn’t mean a new day wasn’t dawning in front of him.
He looked down at Lily’s grave, his lilies still there, if not a little limp and squashed. Empty beer cans scattered the base of the headstone, letting him know that Jade had been again.
He stroked the stone carefully and closed his eyes. For a split second, his daughter’s face appeared in front of his eyes. It made him long for those days. I never knew how lucky I was. His marriage to Jade was a mess, he was broke and he was sleeping with strange men every chance he got but it had somehow been simpler than the life he’d been given.
You never earned this suit.
He thought the money would solve all of his problems. He’d been sure it had been the slice of happiness he’d been searching for. It wasn’t. It was a curse, a burden.
I thought I finally found my slice of happiness. Ha! That’ll never happen.
Standing up, he headed back to the car park and jumped in his car. When he was back at home, he headed straight for his bedroom and started to stuff his cloth
es into a suitcase.
He stopped himself and sat on the edge of the bed, his fists wrapped around his hair.
What do I do?
“What’s up?” Felix appeared in the door, sleep in his eyes.
“You better start packing,” Ezra couldn’t look up to him, “I think the Silverton’s are coming home.”
“Wha -,”
But before Felix could finish his sentence, Ezra stood up and shut the door on him, twisting the lock. Felix asked some questions but boredom quickly took over and he stomped back to his bedroom.
Picking up a pile of shirts and shoes from the bottom of his wardrobe he was about to dump them in his suitcase but he lashed out, tossing them across the room. One of his shoes sprung free of the mess to bounce off the lamp on his nightstand. With a crunch, it fell to the ground, the bulb smashing.
He didn’t care anymore. Having everything taken back, he could handle that. Have it, I don’t want it anymore. It would be a relief to be free of it. The future didn’t concern him. He’d had money, he’d lost money. Ezra knew he’d survive. He’d get another job in the city in a heartbeat, even if he had to start at the bottom scrubbing floors again. The great Ezra Steele, scrubbing floors! How many shags will you get then?
He didn’t care. He didn’t care if he never fucked another random twink again.
What he did care about was what he lost in the process. Not the house, or the money, or the sex or even the clothes, but Joshua. The one man who had the ability to bring him down and make him feel alive at the same time. The man he’d opened up to – Not enough, apparently.
He picked up another pile of clothes, dropping them into his case. Marching over to his drawers, he yanked out the top drawer of underwear, dumping it into the case.
Dropping it, it landed on an angle against his king size bed. Crack! His foot split the wooden base of the drawer into three pieces. He screamed out when he couldn’t shake it from his foot. Another kick and it fell to the ground. The drawers quickly collided with the wall mounted TV. The screen dented and he knew it wouldn’t turn on again.