Camp Boyfriend

by Rock, J. K.

  Hannah sniffed. “Even after everything?”

  “Nothing’s happened that can’t be fixed or forgotten.” It was one of my mother’s favorite expressions. “Although I don’t know if the other girls in my cabin will be so quick to forgive you for the mean stuff you’ve pulled.”

  I tried not to think about where she might go if left to her own devices. Was Matt waiting for her even now? Swallowing back the jealousy I had no business feeling, I tried one more approach.

  “Hey. This is my last night of boy-free summer.” I held out my pinkie. “Are you in or out?”

  Hannah’s eyes gleamed as she wrapped her finger around mine and smiled.

  “So in.”

  * * *

  After a quick change at the showers, I jogged down to the beach wearing a navy bikini and matching cover-up. My flip-flops skimmed over the thick layer of pinecones on the trail, unable to keep pace with my racing heart.

  The first part of my plan had succeeded better than I’d imagined. At last, I had my friends back; even better, they all liked each other. I ignored the twinge of worry that the second part of my plan might not end as well, and felt even less sure I’d make it into the uber-competitive Aerospace Program. But I’d think about that tomorrow. Tonight belonged to the girls who were dancing under the beach’s spotlights.

  “Lauren!” the group chorused when I broke through the trees. One of them had started a small fire, a major infraction usually not punished by counselors on the final nights of camp. Besides, we’d made Gollum so happy, he’d probably give us his precious whistle if we asked. Victoria was monitoring things from her beach blanket a few yards away, her nose buried in a book.

  I pulled off my wrap and splashed into the river, goose bumps rising on my legs. “Last one in is a rotten—”

  Water closed over my head as someone tackled me from behind. I sat up and blinked until I could make out a laughing Jackie.

  “Gotcha!”

  I reached out and yanked her ankle, pulling her legs out from under her.

  “You—” she sputtered, shaking her head at me, water flying.

  Rachel jogged into the shallows, Alex on her back. “Chicken fight,” she hollered. “Unless you’re chicken.”

  Jackie scratched the back of her head and cocked an eyebrow at me.

  “They’re so dead,” I whispered, jumping on Jackie’s back. We gave chase. Within minutes the river was filled with mixed pairs of Divas and Munchies who grappled, screamed, and laughed until we toppled over. It was a war without sides, the only objective to have fun.

  Later, we huddled together around the fire roasting marshmallows.

  Alex raised her marshmallow-tipped branch. “To Lauren!”

  The rest of the girls followed suit, shouting things like, “Miss you, Lauren!”, “Can’t wait till next year!”, and “Goodbyes suck.”

  Tears filled my eyes. “Thanks, guys.” I waved my stick. “I can’t tell you what this means to me. What you all mean to me.”

  We thrust our marshmallows into the fire, shoulder to shoulder. I swallowed my half- burnt, half-raw sugar puff and flopped back on my towel, contentment curling inside me.

  I stared up at the stars, thinking back to my lonely night yesterday and how hopeless everything had seemed. Alex lay down on my right, Kayla on my left. I reached out and held both their hands. Now that I’d accepted myself, my friends accepted me.

  For tonight, that was enough.

  * * *

  Before boarding the shuttle the next morning, I slipped an envelope under the cabin door of both Warriors’ Warden and the Wander Inn. Although both contained a note and a copy of my essay, only one held a wedding invitation.

  It was for someone I very much hoped—despite the odds—would be my plus one.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  A week at home passed in a whirlwind of last-minute bridal preparations. I attended a bridal luncheon, dress fittings, spa treatments, hair consultations and—finally—the rehearsal dinner.

  I sat at a table with a few out-of-town guests, catching up on the news from Ithaca with my aunt and uncle. The party wouldn’t go late with the wedding tomorrow, but for now Kellianne and Andrew made the rounds, visiting with relatives who’d converged on Highland Park for the big event.

  “The bridal party gifts were gorgeous, Lauren!” my mother confided as she went past with Aunt Flo, probably trying to prevent her from doing a Tarot reading in the middle of the rented hall. “Great job!”

  Mom seemed happy tonight and—amazingly—so did Dad. With all the bridal events, I hadn’t seen him much since I’d returned from camp, but I had thanked him for all the work he did to get me into the Aerospace Scholars program. When he’d insisted that I’d done all the work by putting myself in a position to succeed, it had been almost like having the old Dad back.

  “I can’t take all the credit,” I told Mom about the gifts. “I had some help from a friend.”

  I owed Kayla and her mom some thank-you notes, something I was an expert at writing after my wedding duties. But these would come from the heart. I’d learned not to rule out potential friends just because they were in one cabin or another. This year, I’d Facebook with the Divas and the Munchies on the camp page and keep our newfound unity going.

  I might be single, but at least I’d left camp with girlfriends.

  “That’s nice, sweetheart,” Mom told me. “Now please check your mascara and powder your nose. You’re a little bit shiny.”

  She gestured toward my forehead and gave me a look that told me this was an important assignment I needed to address pronto. Not bothering to argue, I grabbed the navy-blue satin bag that matched my rehearsal dinner dress and hustled toward the bathroom.

  The hall was attached to a local museum funded by my grandparents’ oil company; the bathroom was across an atrium where the night sky was visible through a high glass ceiling. The hint of stars twinkling beyond the glass reminded me of the application I’d finalized with the essay I’d sent last week. As much as I wanted to join the Aerospace Program, I took some comfort from the fact that, if nothing else, writing that essay had helped me understand myself better. Had given me the courage to go after what I wanted, even it if didn’t fit with other people’s expectations of me.

  “Hey, Lauren.” My sister greeted me from her seat at the bank of mirrors in the bathroom lounge, her pale pink dress and matching jacket making her skin glow. “Did you get sent back to the drawing board on your makeup job too?”

  “What gave me away?” I asked as I dropped into a seat beside her. “My shiny nose? Collapsing hairdo? Smudged eyeliner?”

  Apparently I’d forgotten some of the beauty tips my mother had tried to drill into me during the school year. But then, I’d let that kind of thing go at camp for the most part.

  Kellianne surprised me by smiling. “None of the above. I just know that Mom’s nervous tonight, and she’s reverted to perfectionist mode.”

  “Really?” I paused in the middle of dotting powder on my cheeks. “You think Mom’s a perfectionist?”

  “Why do you think the wedding planning nearly killed me?” Kellianne tucked a lipstick—matte, I noticed—into her tiny sequined handbag. “Mom has high expectations.”

  With an effort, I did not remind Kellianne that, on the contrary, planning the wedding had nearly killed me. It was so rare that we got along that I hated to disrupt the harmony. Another lesson I’d learned from camp. Savor friendships.

  “It’s funny she ended up with Dad then, right?” I smiled to think of my father’s slouchy suits and perpetually crooked ties, hoping that the tension that had been growing between my parents had eased this summer.

  “Honestly?” Kellianne stared down at the huge rock on her left finger that would be joined by even more bling tomorrow. “I think being with Dad has kept her grounded. At least, it did until we moved back here.”

  Right. Now they were both married to their jobs, although Mom was doubling up with her mother-to-the-br
ide responsibilities.

  I wanted to ask her more about Mom and Dad, but she rose to her feet and clicked her tiny purse shut.

  “I just hope Andrew understands that I’m not going to be a slave to some ideal wife image.” She tucked a loose strand of my hair back into a rhinestone barrette and patted me on the shoulder.

  “Why would he think that?” I asked carefully, surprised to see a side of my sister that I hadn’t been aware existed.

  I had to admit that I’d pictured her as the ideal traditional wife. Or at least, the traditional genteel southern lady. She seemed born for the role.

  “He’s already talking about having a family and I—” She broke off. “It’s nothing. It’ll be fine.”

  My jaw was still on the floor when she marched out of the bathroom lounge. I hurried to finish up and rejoin the rehearsal party, wondering if Kellianne was going through some of the same things I had this summer. Except for her, the consequences for a wrong choice were much bigger.

  I was still hurting over the way my love life had fallen apart this summer, but at least I could fix it or move on. Kellianne would be marrying her guy tomorrow, so any fixing needed to be done now.

  I searched for her across the atrium, but she was already at Andrew’s side. Near her, my parents stood together by a small rolling bar. My father held up a glass and clinked a spoon against the stem. The tinkling sound quieted the crowd and turned all eyes toward him.

  “May I have your attention, please?” He looked handsome in a charcoal-gray suit and crisp white shirt, way different from the tweed blazers he used to wear every day for teaching.

  Beside him, my mother looked expectant. Excited.

  What was up?

  “My lovely daughter has given us permission to steal her spotlight for a moment, because she’s as thrilled about our announcement as we are,” Dad continued, surrounded by family and friends. Grandma and Grandpa Hartman stood behind my parents.

  “As of September first, Hartman Oil will be launching an eco-friendly energy division.” There was a polite smattering of applause. “Even better, I’d like to announce that Christine will be heading the new division.”

  Dad led the room in a noisy cheer for Mom while I observed the way they smiled at each other. Like partners. Apparently a lot had changed while I’d been away this summer. Maybe that was why no one had quizzed me about Matt when I came home. They’d all been too preoccupied with this news.

  “Thank you. And since he’s too modest to tell you himself,” my mother took over without losing a beat. But then again, she was good at appearances. “Paul will be the head research scientist in our new venture. He’ll be leading the way to find green initiatives that will supplement our traditional business at Hartman.”

  After the announcement, a few close friends gathered around my parents to offer congratulations. I was thrilled for them and curious what it meant for us as a family. Would I see Dad more often? Less?

  I knew he didn’t always have choices about his job, but I hoped that at least he’d be happier in this new work environment. I reached Mom and Dad the same time Kellianne did. We hugged, all of us, in a way we hadn’t done in ages.

  After we talked about the new branch of the company, that had apparently been Dad’s brainchild all along, Dad squeezed Kellianne’s hand.

  “And don’t forget we’re looking for good people in the new division,” he told her. “You’d be perfect.”

  Maybe because I was looking for it, I noticed the flash of interest in my sister’s eyes.

  “Paul, don’t be silly,” my mother chided him. “Kellianne and Andrew are anxious to start a family.”

  Was I the only one who saw my sister’s shoulders slump? My sister, who normally had the most perfect posture ever?

  But Mom and Dad had moved on to say their goodnights to relatives and rake in good wishes on their new career moves. With the rehearsal dinner breaking up, I took the initiative to steal the bride-to-be.

  “Come on,” I told her, dragging her toward the back of the atrium where she’d parked.

  “But Andrew…” she protested half-heartedly, waving feebly at her fiancé.

  “You’re all his tomorrow,” I insisted. “He can spare you for your last night as a free woman.”

  We stepped out into the dark and hurried for her convertible Beemer. The top was up even though the night was warm and pleasant. No doubt she’d wanted to keep her hair in place on the ride over.

  Sliding into the car, I shoved off my shoes while she shut her door.

  “What gives?” I asked, not waiting for her to start the engine.

  She didn’t even bother putting the key in the ignition. Instead, her head fell to the steering wheel.

  “I don’t know,” Kellianne muttered.

  “If you’re not ready for a family—”

  “It’s not that,” she denied. “Okay, maybe a little it’s that. I want a family. I just—I’d like to see what it would be like to use my degree for a little while first.”

  “And Andrew doesn’t want you to?” I was prepared to give Andrew Buford III a piece of my mind.

  Even if Kellianne could be a royal pain, she was family. Besides, there was obviously a whole lot more to her than I’d given her credit for.

  “It’s not so much Andrew. It’s Mom. His mom. Grandma…” She straightened in her seat and I saw through the perfect exterior she normally showed to the world. “They all want me to join their clubs and charities and have babies. I just wish sometimes I was more like you, Lauren.”

  I nearly fell out of my seat.

  “Me?”

  She shrugged. “You’re not afraid to go against the norm.”

  I shook my head, amazed that she’d noticed something about me beyond good penmanship. “I wish you’d told me sooner. It took me all year to figure that out.”

  She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling while she did.

  “So I told you what’s on my mind.” Turning in her seat, she faced me across the console. “What about you? You said you broke up with Matt, but you didn’t really say why. Is it that Seth guy?”

  “No.” It was past time for me to take responsibility for what I wanted and who I wanted to be with. “I was just confused about why Matt and I were together.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I thought Matt only wanted to be with me because I was a cheerleader and we were in the same crowd.”

  “There are worse reasons to date than having things in common.”

  “I know, but I think I pushed Matt away because I was trying to become someone else. Actually, that’s not totally accurate.” I took a deep breath and admitted the deeper truth. “I kept thinking everyone was trying to categorize me, to slap a label on me as a geek or a popular girl, when all the time I was doing the same thing to Matt, to Seth, and to my friends.”

  I’d gone into camp with a script in my head where Hannah was the mean girl and Seth was my ideal guy. Two months ago, I think I’d secretly assumed that Matt would eventually tire of me and hook up with someone else. I’d also assumed that Emily would fall for Rob, that Brittany was the biggest airhead on the planet, and that Alex and I would share all our secrets. It never occurred to me to see beyond my expectations to the real people beneath my preconceived notions.

  “Your real friends don’t run away just because you mess up. And neither will the right guy.” Kellianne started the Beemer now that the foot traffic had cleared out of the parking lot. “But that doesn’t answer the bigger question.”

  I leaned back in my seat, surprised to have shared my deepest insights with the sister who’d demanded I write her shower thank-yous. But seeing all the work that had gone into the rehearsal dinner, the bridal luncheon, and the spa day in just this week alone, I realized that she must have taken on a fair share of wedding duties herself in order to pull off the big event.

  Maybe she’d been as stressed as I was this summer.

  “Which is?”

  “Who is going t
o be sitting with you at the wedding reception tomorrow?”

  We’d never finalized the seating chart. Why hadn’t she asked me this before now?

  Yet, in all honesty, what could I say?

  “The truth is…” I hadn’t heard back from my invitee. I would most likely be alone for the wedding. But I didn’t want the bride to worry more when she had a lot on her mind. “I’m not sure.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I tried to tell myself that it was okay that I attended Kellianne’s wedding solo.

  After all, I was in charge of things like arranging my sister’s mile-long train when she was at the altar so that the custom-sewn inset of vintage Alençon lace showed to its best advantage. Then there were the last-minute hair repairs for the bride before the photos, the endless posing for those pictures, and patiently fielding comments from relatives about how “grown-up” I looked in my bridesmaid gown.

  But no matter how practical it might have been to attend the wedding alone, I was hurt inside. Maybe the hollow feeling in my gut as the bridesmaids’ limo reached the reception hall was what I deserved after the way I’d played both Matt and Seth this summer. Not that I’d meant to.

  I’d had good intentions about being there for Matt. About staying away from Seth until Matt and I were no longer together. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to separate my feelings for them any better than I’d been able to separate the old and the new me. They were both a part of the real me—the Lauren that was a nerd and a cheerleader, a wannabe astronomer with a Diva’s eye for fashion.

  Too bad I’d hurt people I cared about to finally be okay with who I was inside.

  Now, smoothing any wrinkles from my lavender chiffon Vera Wang custom dress, I blinked hard to banish any trace of tears. This was Kellianne’s big day, and I wasn’t going to let regrets about my camp boyfriends steal a moment of the bride’s happiness. She looked happy enough, but I still worried about her after our talk last night. I hoped she came to her senses and started voicing her needs instead of following everyone else’s expectations for her.

  Guests poured into our country club for the reception as valets scurried to keep up with new arrivals. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t secretly scanning the vehicles in a futile hope for a late arrival. Forcing myself inside the banquet hall, I mingled with a few cousins while we all waited for the bride and groom’s big appearance.