Holding Out for Christmas

by Janet Dailey

  “So you think it might work?” Rush said.

  “Maggie would have to agree to it. If we can convince her, the rest should be easy enough.”

  “So, are you willing to go to Maggie’s place now and lay out our plan? If she says yes, we won’t have a lot of time.”

  “And if she doesn’t?”

  “Then things will be no worse off than before. All we can do is try,” Rush said. “Let’s go.”

  Rush had the radio on in the Hummer. Burl Ives was singing “A Holly Jolly Christmas.” Conner didn’t feel very jolly this morning. He forced himself to look pleasant as Rush drove along the lane to where it looped back to join the highway. The distance took a few extra minutes, but the heavy-duty tire tracks would open up the road for others who might need to venture out.

  “Travis tells me you broke up with Megan,” he said.

  “It was more like Megan broke up with me.” Conner gazed through the windshield at the snowy landscape. Trees, fields, fences, buildings, and vehicles were covered in a thick blanket of white.

  “Care to tell me about it?” Rush asked.

  “Maybe later. It’s complicated. And I’m feeling like I got dragged by that bull all over again.”

  “That bad, huh?” Rush turned onto the main road and headed back toward town.

  “That bad. I thought I’d found something real with her. But I said the wrong thing at the wrong time, hit a sensitive spot, and kabloom!”

  Rush couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “Too bad, partner. You’ve broken your share of hearts. Now it’s your turn to bleed.”

  “Well, just so you know, I haven’t given up. Megan’s one in a million. But she told me in no uncertain terms not to call her. She sounded like she meant it.”

  “Did she tell you why?”

  “Yeah, she did. I was a jerk. I can’t blame her for getting upset.”

  “Wow. What did you say?”

  “Not much. Just being my old insensitive self.” Conner wasn’t ready to tell the full story. At least he could respect Megan’s secret enough to keep it to himself.

  “I remember her saying she didn’t plan to be at the Christmas Ball. Too bad you won’t have a chance to see her there and mend some fences.”

  “Yeah, too bad,” Conner muttered. Actually, Megan would be there, but not as herself. And she probably wouldn’t give him a second look. The crazy part was, after a year of holding out, dreaming, and fantasizing about the bewitching singer, it wasn’t the woman with fake hair, false eyelashes, and movie star makeup he wanted. It was sweet, sensible Megan with her cute pixie haircut, sparkling brown eyes, kissable pink lips, and caring disposition. For him, she would be the perfect wife—and, damn it, a life with her was what he wanted. He loved her. And if he could talk her into taking him back, he’d be on one knee as soon as he could buy the ring.

  * * *

  For the people of Branding Iron, the last Saturday before Christmas was the most celebrated day of the year. For those who didn’t mind waiting in line for a feast, the day started early with a fancy buffet at the Branding Iron Bed and Breakfast. The B and B would close in time for people to finish eating and get to the parade, which started at 10:00.

  The afternoon would be spent getting ready for the biggest event of all, the Cowboy Christmas Ball, held every year in the decorated high-school gymnasium. There would be live music and lots of dancing, games for the children, and a long plank table sagging with donated casseroles, salads, breads, and desserts. Everyone would be in traditional western costume—the men dressed as cowboys or gamblers, the women in long western-style gowns.

  Last year, Megan’s parents had stayed home all day. This year, Megan was determined to get them out of the house and into the festivities, or at least some of them, starting with the breakfast.

  “Are you sure I’ll be all right?” Her mother tended to be anxious about leaving the house, especially if it involved meeting people.

  “You’ll be fine,” Megan said. “The weather’s warming up, the roads are clear, and I already spoke with Francine about parking the van in the driveway, next to the restaurant. There’s even a ramp for your wheelchair. And wait till you taste the food. It’s heavenly!”

  “I ate there once with Katy’s family,” Daniel said. “It was yummy! I can’t wait!”

  “It does sound good,” Megan’s father said. “And don’t worry, Dorcas. I know a lot of people from the school. They’ll be happy to meet you.”

  Bundled into their coats, they used the lift to load the wheelchair into the back of the van and drove downtown to the B and B. Cars were parked around it for blocks, but, as promised, the driveway was clear. All they had to do was move the barricade with the RESERVED sign, drive in, and unload the chair.

  Mouthwatering aromas greeted them as they came up the ramp and onto the porch. Daniel held the door open while his father wheeled the chair inside the crowded dining room.

  Francine gave them a wave and a breezy smile. “Come on in. Megan’s already paid, and your table’s ready. Right over that way. You’ll see the sign.”

  They headed for the empty table with another RESERVED sign on it. “I can’t believe you arranged all this, Megan,” Ed said. “And you paid. I was ready to do that.”

  Megan smiled. “My treat. Sit down at the table. One of the servers will bring you coffee, and I’ll fill some plates for you and Mom.”

  Daniel had headed straight for the food line and was now moving along the buffet table, heaping his plate with bacon, eggs, airy flapjacks, and crisp hash browns. As Megan waited in the line, she cast surreptitious glances around the dining room. Conner wasn’t here; neither were his partners. But, of course, he and Rush would be busy readying the sleigh and horses and getting them to town for the parade. With Travis still recovering, they’d have their hands full. Maggie was absent, but Tracy was here with Clara, sitting at a table with some friends.

  Katy and her parents were here, too. Daniel had spotted them and was carrying his plate over to their table. Megan could have scolded him for deserting his own family. He needed a reminder to be more sensitive and respectful to his parents. But now was not the time. She would mention it later, at home.

  She filled two plates for her parents and carried them back to the table. A lively gray-haired woman had joined them, sitting in the empty chair. Megan recognized her as the city librarian.

  “I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to meet you at last, Mrs. Carson,” she was saying. “We have all your books in the library. The children love your illustrations. If you can ever spare the time, we’d love to have you come for a visit. Some of the children want to be artists. They’d be so excited to meet you.”

  Megan read her mother’s expression as pleased, but hesitant, as she gestured to indicate her wheelchair. “That’s very kind of you, but as you see—”

  “If you want to go, Dorcas, I’ll see that you get there,” Ed said. “Think how happy you’d make the children.”

  “Well . . .” There was still a moment of hesitation. Megan held her breath. Her mother had shut herself up in the house, with her work and her family, for too long. She needed to get out and make some friends.

  “Well, I guess I could do that,” Dorcas said. “Call me after the holidays, and we’ll work something out.”

  Megan exhaled in relief as she walked back to fill her own breakfast plate. There were no guarantees, but at least her mother had agreed to a later arrangement. She still hadn’t decided about letting Daniel take the driving course, but maybe that would be next.

  By the time breakfast was over, Dorcas was tired and needed to go home. Daniel wanted to see the parade with Katy, so Megan chose to return home with her parents. Conner would be in the parade, driving the horses that pulled Santa’s sleigh. To see him from the sidewalk—maybe even make eye contact—would shatter her. Sooner or later, she would have to face him. But she couldn’t do it unprepared.

  For now, she would go home, get some rest, practice her new song, an
d transform herself into Lacy—perhaps for the last time.

  * * *

  As Conner drove the sleigh down Main Street, pulled by Chip and Patch, he willed himself to look straight ahead. To search the cheering crowds for Megan would be a mistake. If he didn’t see her, he’d be disappointed. If he did see her, and she didn’t acknowledge him, he would be crushed. But if she so much as smiled, he’d have to fight the urge to jump off the sleigh and sweep her into his arms.

  He was better off not looking.

  The weather was perfect for a parade, the sky crystalline blue, the warm sun taking the edge off the chill. The sleigh’s steel runners glided on the packed snow that covered the street. Brass bells jingled on the horses. Christmas lights twinkled overhead. Marching bands from three different high schools played Christmas songs that clashed and blended in a festive cacophony.

  Behind Conner in the sleigh, Hank Miller, Travis’s father, made a magnificent Santa, waving, laughing, and tossing wrapped candies to the kids on the sidewalk.

  “Conner! Conner!” A familiar voice caught his attention. Glancing to the near side of the street, he saw Daniel with one arm around Katy. He was grinning and waving. Conner waved back. Megan wasn’t with them. Somehow he’d known she wouldn’t be.

  What if she’d gone—quit the band and driven back to Nashville? But he couldn’t think about that now. He only knew that if she showed up at the ball tonight, he would be taking the biggest chance of his life. For a man who’d climbed on bucking bulls, that was saying a lot.

  * * *

  The Cowboy Christmas Ball wouldn’t officially start till 7:00; however, the doors of the high-school gym opened at 6:30 for people delivering food, arranging the chairs, and setting up the ticket table at the entrance.

  Megan, in full Lacy regalia, had arrived an hour earlier to practice with the Badger Hollow Boys and help them set up on the makeshift stage. At the first sign of people coming in, she retreated to the classroom that had been set aside for the band’s use. There she sipped a Diet Coke, leafed through the magazine she’d brought, and waited nervously for the call to go on.

  She hadn’t practiced her new song with the band. If she sang it at all, it would be a solo, with no accompaniment except her own guitar. But she wasn’t sure she would sing it. Playing the song at home, she’d realized how personal it was, and how deeply her love for Conner was woven into it. Singing those lyrics before a crowd, especially with Conner there, could turn out to be more than she could handle.

  By now, it was after 7:00. Through the closed door, she could hear people arriving and the muted sound of recorded Christmas music over the school PA. They’d be eating first, while the food was hot. Then, about 7:30, the band would start up, and the entertainment would begin, followed by dancing until 11:00, or until the last dancers called it a night and went home.

  The music over the PA had stopped. The silence was puzzling. It was too early for the band—wasn’t it? Megan was taking deep breaths, doing her best to stay loose and focused, when Tucker opened the door. “Hey, Megan, you’re missing the excitement,” he said. “Come on out. You can watch from behind the stage. Nobody will see you.”

  “What’s happening?” she asked.

  “You’ll see. Come on.”

  She took off her Stetson and flung a coat over her distinctive leather jacket before venturing out of the room to follow her friend. From behind the raised platform of the stage, she could look into the gym, where something unusual appeared to be happening.

  No one was in line to eat. A white cloth covered the food on the long buffet table. Chairs had been taken from their places around the open dance floor and the dining tables. They’d been arranged in two sets of rows, like pews in a church, with an aisle down the center, leading to the tall, glittering Christmas tree at the end. People were settling in their seats, silent now, as if in anticipation.

  And suddenly Megan realized why. Something wonderful was about to happen.

  A lump rose in her throat as Tracy, looking like an angel in her delicate lavender gown, took her place, standing with her back to the Christmas tree. Two men in cowboy dress came in from the side to stand together, a little in front of her. Travis, still scarred and battered, looked nervous but happy. Beside him, supporting his friend, stood Conner.

  The emotion that surged in Megan was so powerful that it brought tears to her eyes. This was what it was all about—the closeness, the enduring friendship that bound these people together. And she had cut herself off from that friendship because of a perceived slight.

  So Conner had known she was Lacy and hadn’t told her. What did it matter? What did any of her feelings about Lacy matter? She had made a rival out of a woman who wasn’t even real—a woman who was her.

  She could have been out front, sharing this beautiful moment with Conner and their friends. Instead, here she was, cowering like a fool behind the stage, afraid of being seen.

  Tracy took a step forward. “All please rise,” she said in a clear voice.

  Everyone stood as the piano, which had been moved into the gym, began the first notes of the “Wedding March.” People swiveled their gazes toward the back of the room, straining to see.

  First to come down the aisle was Clara, adorable in a long red velvet Christmas dress. Reaching into her silver basket, she scattered rose petals over the floor. A beaming Rush watched her from his place next to the aisle. She looked up and gave him a little grin, as if to say, Don’t worry, Daddy. I’ve got this.

  A collective aah rose from the crowd as Maggie appeared. Gliding strong and unescorted down the aisle, she moved like an elegant white swan. Her cream satin gown was simple but beautifully cut, with a raised collar that framed her radiant face. Her veil, pinned to the knot of her auburn hair, floated around her like mist.

  The expression on Travis’s face was worth a million dollars.

  When Maggie and Travis faced each other to make their vows, Megan had to wipe away the tears that were smearing her stage makeup. They’d been through so much, those two—the long wait until Maggie finished her term as mayor, the ups and downs of the ranch, then Travis’s accident and the loss of the church. But nothing could have kept them from this moment, when their vows and rings would make them one in the eyes of the world.

  Megan could read the emotion on Conner’s face. He cast furtive glances in the direction of the stage, as if expecting to see her there. She was well hidden, but the fact that he was looking for her tore at her heart. If she wanted a life with him, she would need to love him as much as Maggie loved Travis, as much as Tracy loved Rush. She would need to sacrifice her foolish pride and give everything to that love, with an open heart.

  But first she needed a way to let him know.

  “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Tracy’s face broke into a delighted grin as Travis took Maggie in his arms and gave her a lingering kiss. As they joined hands and made their way back down the aisle, amid cheers and congratulations, Conner stepped forward.

  “That’s it, folks. I know you’ll all want to give your best wishes to the new Mr. and Mrs. Morgan. But first, let’s move these chairs back where they belong! It’s party time!”

  * * *

  Within minutes, the chairs were carried back to their places around the dining tables and the dance floor. As the Christmas music resumed on the PA system, the buffet table was uncovered and people began lining up to fill their plates. The wedding had put everyone in a good mood. It was as if the whole town had been rooting for Maggie and Travis to become wife and husband.

  The bride and groom were given a table, and one of the teenage helpers brought them their meals. Rush and Tracy, with Clara, had joined them. There was an empty chair for Conner, too, but he didn’t feel much like sitting, let alone eating.

  He roamed restlessly, picking out faces in the crowd. Daniel and Katy were standing in the food line, but Megan’s parents didn’t appear to be here. Given her mother’s health, that wasn’t surprisi
ng—especially if Megan wasn’t going to sing. Maybe Conner’s worst fears had come to pass. Maybe she’d gone back to Nashville, to her career and her boyfriend.

  Gazing around the room, he saw Hank and Francine at a quiet corner table. And there was Ronda May, arriving late, on the arm of her new boss at Shop Mart. The pair looked totally smitten with each other. Conner chuckled. Some things had a way of working out. But how would they work out for him?

  Half an hour later, after the tables had begun to clear, it was time for the Badger Hollow Boys to start their show. The lights beyond the stage dimmed as they took their places—two guitarists, a bass player, and a drummer—and started with a crashing fanfare that got everybody’s attention. Then they burst into a toe-tapping Texas two-step that brought a half-dozen couples onto the dance floor. After three more numbers, there was still no sign of Megan. Conner was struggling to hide his disappointment when the lead guitarist stepped to the microphone.

  “Ladies and gents, we all know who you’ve been waiting to see. Well, your wait is over! Now, for your enjoyment, here she is—give her a big hand—Miss Lacy Leatherwood!”

  Conner’s pulse skipped as the singer strutted onstage to loud applause—long black hair, gypsy eyes, crimson mouth, and stiletto-heeled boots. There she was, his dream woman—except that Lacy Leatherwood wasn’t his dream woman anymore. Looking up at her, he could see past the fake hair and overdone makeup to the woman underneath—the woman he really wanted.

  Conner moved through the standing crowd at the foot of the stage to a spot front and center, where she couldn’t help but see him, even with the lights lowered. If he made her uncomfortable, so be it. He wanted Megan to know he was here for her, and that he wouldn’t walk away until he’d said what he’d come to say.

  * * *

  Megan’s knees went weak as she saw him in the shadows below the stage. She wobbled on her stiletto heels. Had Conner come to mend things between them, or did he only want to see her make a fool of herself? For now, she had no choice except to ignore him and go on with the show.