Sugar and Sin Bundle

by Stacey Joy Netzel

  But having a life with Rémi, having his children—little bronze-skinned babies with dark hair and green eyes—having a lifetime of his love; none of that would she sacrifice.

  While waiting for Raksótha to start the third-day ceremony, Rémi surveyed the assembled crowd. Alyssa stood off to the side with Tommy. Dark shadows colored the pale skin under her amber eyes and deep lines furrowed between her brows. Had she gotten any sleep after the wake had ended early this morning? Had she eaten anything?

  She seemed intent on looking anywhere but at him. After glancing at Tommy, who was speaking with another Defender, she pulled her phone out and fiddled with it. Then, with a frown, she threw it back in her purse. What was bothering her? Something with work, or something with Nitro?

  Rémi rubbed slow circles on his temples. If the Vipers’ assassin didn’t get out of his head, he’d go crazy. Everyone had a past, whether they were proud of it or not. He of all people should understand that. So why did it bother him so much that Nitro was part of Alyssa’s? Was it that she and the blond bastard seemed to fit together? They’d make beautiful blond-haired babies. Babies Rémi wanted to have with her.

  Something about her story didn’t sit well. She’d left things out. Things she didn’t want him to know. Why? Nothing she’d told him helped him understand why she’d chosen to stay with the Vipers after the proof of loyalty. Having sex with a guy in front of a roomful of other men should have freaked her out. The women he knew would have high-tailed it out of there at the first chance. But Alyssa hadn’t run. She’d stayed. Three long months. Why?

  Once everyone was seated, Grandfather retold the story of the Iroquois’ first experience with death. Then he addressed Ellie’s spirit, summarizing what had transpired up to now and what would happen next.

  His stomach tightened into a cold hard knot. He knew what was coming. Iroquois tradition allowed for only ten days of mourning, so the next part of the ceremony was supposed to be a cleansing, a way to get feelings out into the open. It worked, but it was a bitch.

  In a quiet voice full of compassion and understanding, Raksótha spoke to the gathered mourners in English. “It has come to pass that we will now put Ellie Redleafe into the ground.” He looked at Sarah and a few other teachers from the schools on the reserve. “Some of you called her student. You may remember her in your classroom, smiling as she handed you an assignment she’d worked hard to complete. You need to know that will never happen again.”

  When they were all teary-eyed, his gaze moved to Bea. “Some of you called her employee. You may remember her laughing as she helped you prepare the Three Sisters diner for an early morning opening. You may remember her coming to work even when she wasn’t feeling well, and smiling at the customers so your business would flourish. You need to know that will never happen again.” Tears slid down Bea’s cheek. Her husband wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her face to his chest. Bea had loved Ellie like a granddaughter, had even closed the diner for the last three days in her honor. Fuck, this was hard.

  Alyssa tugged on Tommy’s sleeve, a worried expression on her pretty face. Tommy leaned down and whispered something to her. She blanched and her hands clutched her purse strap. Rémi couldn’t blame her. She’d obviously caught on to the pattern. Raksótha didn’t leave a person alone until that person expressed their emotions.

  Raksótha was going to make Alyssa cry.

  When he finished up with the group of young girls, obviously friends of Ellie’s, sitting beside Alyssa, his gaze settled on her.

  She looked terrified. Tommy touched her arm, and she grabbed his hand. Rémi’s heart pounded against his ribcage, the beat wild and primitive. He wanted to leap over all the chairs and take his place beside Alyssa. It was his hand she should be gripping.

  Pinning her like a butterfly with his eyes, Raksótha spoke, “Some of you may have known Ellie as the girl you couldn’t save. You may remember seeing her happy, seeing her laugh. You may remember seeing her upset, seeing her angry. You may remember wanting to talk with her, wanting to offer her a friendly shoulder, wanting to offer her a safe place to express her feelings.”

  Alyssa blinked rapidly. She wouldn’t want to cry in front of these people, thinking they’d see her emotions as weakness. But she was wrong. No one here would fault her for letting her feelings out. But they might fault her for keeping them in. The Iroquois believed in the cleansing aspect of the ceremony, that negative emotions needed to be freed so they couldn’t take hold and lead people to do bad things.

  Raksótha kept on her. “Some of you may remember her as a young woman, in love, about to embark on a new phase of her life. A life that was cut short by a youthful desire toward adventure, a youthful naiveté about the ways of the world, about the long arm of the drug gangs and their infiltration into our culture, our community. You may remember her as someone who experimented, someone who didn’t know what she was getting into, someone who was a victim of drugs. You may remember her as someone who should have been protected but wasn’t.”

  A powerful sob shook Alyssa’s body. Rémi clenched his hands as Tommy draped a comforting arm around her shoulders.

  Seeing that he’d struck a nerve, Raksótha pressed on. “You may remember her as someone who reminded you of others who should have been safe, but weren’t. Other children who should have grown old, but didn’t. Other children who should have been loved, but were lost.”

  Tears streamed down her cheeks. She swiped at them with her hands but couldn’t stop their flow. Alyssa had hardly known Ellie, and although she was sad at her passing, her tears had to stem from another source. Another child who’d been lost.

  His voice soft, Raksótha finished, “You may remember Ellie as a carefree version of yourself. But you need to know, you will never see her like that again.”

  Raksótha made his way through the rest of the mourners, ending with Martha. Tommy kept his arm around Alyssa, gently patting her shoulder until her sobs quieted. She wiped her cheeks and her eyes with tissues from her purse, then turned to Tommy, a sweet smile on her soft lips.

  The knot in his throat almost choked Rémi. He should have been the one sitting with her, helping her through this. There was obviously a lot about Alyssa that he still didn’t know, a lot he still didn’t understand. But he wanted to.

  Fuck Nitro. Fuck the Vipers. Fuck the past. Alyssa was his future. No matter what anyone else thought, he wasn’t letting her go. She was his.

  CHAPTER 22

  Andy had been exactly like Ellie: a victim of the drug trade. Alyssa’s pulse raced as Chief Whitedeer’s words echoed in her head. She hadn’t given herself time to grieve, to mourn her brother’s death. Instead, she’d latched onto her anger and used it to fuel her revenge. But it hadn’t brought Andy back. Even putting Lalonde in prison hadn’t done that. Nothing would.

  Beside her, Tommy explained that it was time for everyone to say their last goodbyes to Ellie’s spirit. The procession would begin with the chiefs and clan mothers, followed by the faithkeepers. Alyssa’s breath hitched when she saw Rémi step forward. “He’s a faithkeeper?” she asked Tommy.

  Tommy smiled, pride evident in the tilt of his head, the glint in his eyes. “One of the Wolf clan’s youngest and best. Each clan mother has a faithkeeper who prepares and coordinates the traditional ceremonial calendar and acts as a spiritual advisor. Rémi has been training for years.”

  Her chest pinched. Something else she hadn’t known about him. Something else that showed how deeply connected he was to his people and this community.

  Martha walked up to the coffin, accompanied by several men and women Alyssa assumed were family members. A few minutes later, Tommy nudged her. It was their turn. As she approached the coffin, she saw it was really more of a box than a true casket. Tommy had explained that the body inside was wrapped in leather.

  Tears pricked her eyes as she remembered Ellie the last time she’d seen her: a little angry but entirely feisty, and full of life. Trailing her hand o
n the wood, Alyssa imagined her in a better place, surrounded by people she loved, and reunited with her father. She kissed her fingertips and pressed them to the box, wishing Ellie safe passage to the other side before moving away.

  Once everyone was done, Tommy excused himself. “I’m one of the pallbearers. Follow us to the cemetery.”

  Rémi, Tommy, and several other men hoisted the coffin off its support and carried it out the western door, feet first. As she left the shadow of the Longhouse, Alyssa drifted to the back of the crowd and trailed the procession. A figure crouching behind a tree at the edge of the property caught her attention. Though she kept her gaze fixed forward, she used her peripheral vision to track the hooded person dashing from tree to tree. Could it be Corey?

  She passed through a gate into the cemetery. If he really intended to watch the burial, he’d need to cross an area with little cover. She slowed her pace, falling even farther behind the others. Would he risk exposing himself? She held her breath as she waited for him to decide. Although her gut said Ellie’s death had been an accident, Corey’s refusal to come forward only made him seem more guilty. Even so, she did understand his reluctance to turn himself in. He’d likely be scared of being railroaded, of not getting a fair shake. Corey was just a kid and probably a terrified one at that.

  If he did show himself to her, what should she do? She should arrest him and take him back to the station. Last time, she’d warned Corey there’d be no more chances. Her stomach flipped as he raced across the clearing to a copse of trees thirty feet from where the mourners had gathered. If Martha or Rémi saw him, there’d be hell to pay. Damn. She couldn’t ruin Ellie’s funeral and Martha’s opportunity to reach a place of peace just to arrest a scared kid.

  On the other hand, he might have information that could help her.

  The lab had confirmed that the substance in the joint, and what had killed Ellie, was a bath salt that went by the name of SexTacy. With a little encouragement, Corey would tell her where he’d got the drug, and from there, she’d trail it to its source. And if the source was the Vipers—her hands clenched into fists—she’d go to Nitro. He’d helped her before, maybe he’d help her again.

  The pallbearers set the box on the ground and everyone stepped back. A head taller than most, Rémi scanned the crowd. Was he searching for her? When their gazes met, he tapped Tommy on the arm and angled his head in her direction before heading toward her. Pretending to look in her purse, she shot a quick glance to her left, and let out a pent-up breath. Corey had crouched down behind some bushes and was fairly well concealed.

  Rémi stood beside her. Not touching. Not talking. Awkward.

  Should she say something, do something? Before she could make up her mind, Chief Whitedeer began to speak. Rémi leaned down and whispered next to her ear, sending very inappropriate shivers down her neck. “Raksótha is telling the spirit that this is the third day after Ellie’s passing. He’s telling it that if there’s anything left outstanding, now is the time to do it. On the tenth day after death, we will reconvene here and final rites will be administered. At that time, we expect the spirit to move on.”

  A shudder wracked her shoulders as Ellie’s coffin was lowered into the ground. The last funeral she’d attended had been Andy’s, and although it had been just as tragic, the pomp of the Catholic ceremony had provided her some distance from the reality of what was happening. The traditional Longhouse condolence ceremony struck her as more intimate, more personal, and left her shaken to the core.

  Rémi took her hand in his larger one, surprising her. Did he really mean to out their relationship here? Now? Did they still even have a relationship?

  She turned away from the sight of the coffin disappearing into the ground and met Rémi’s gaze. Concern crinkled his brow and tightened his lips. He squeezed her fingers and brought her knuckles to his mouth. Her heart skipped a beat, and hope warmed her chest. She looked around, but no one seemed to have noticed.

  Her hand still in his, he tugged her forward. “Let’s say our condolences to Martha, then I’ll take you home.”

  “Thompson’s waiting for me in his car.”

  “He can follow us.” He stared down at her. “We need to talk.”

  O-kay. Alyssa swallowed and kept her eyes facing forward as they waited their turn to speak to Martha. She chanced a glance at Corey’s hiding place. Good, he hadn’t moved. She had to find a way to give him a message.

  The crowd cleared, revealing Martha. Her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks stained with tears. Alyssa opened her arms and wrapped the woman in a tight hug. Sobs shook Martha’s body and tore at Alyssa’s heart. Losing her brother had devastated her, turned her world inside out. Still, she couldn’t even imagine the pain Martha was feeling.

  How did a mother bear the loss of her child? How had her own mother survived it? She felt Martha’s gasping shudders beneath her hands and against her chest and wanted to cry along with her. Cry for Ellie, for Martha, and for her own poor mother who’d lost not one but two children that awful day ten years ago. Alyssa’s mindless drive for revenge had kept the nightmare alive until her mother couldn’t take it anymore. They hadn’t spoken since she’d entered the SQ. Now she understood why.

  Rémi wrapped his strong arms around both of them, whispering calming words. Tommy joined the huddle opposite Rémi. Martha looked up at all of them. A smile spread across her face. “I love you guys. I hope you know that. Despite all our differences, we’re friends. Family.”

  Alyssa’s vision blurred and from the gruff sound of Rémi’s and Tommy’s voices, she suspected they were just as touched. She stroked Martha’s hair as the men disengaged from the hug. “Anything you need, Martha, we’re there. Just say the word,” Alyssa said. Martha wouldn’t suffer through this alone like her mother had.

  Tommy patted Martha’s shoulder, then joined some other people walking back to the Longhouse parking lot. Alyssa’s heart gave a little stutter as Rémi took her hand again. It hadn’t been some subconscious gesture after all.

  “You two finally decided to stop sneaking around?” Martha asked.

  Alyssa dropped Rémi’s hand like it was on fire. Martha smiled sadly as she patted their cheeks. “Be happy. Fight for each other. I hope you find the love I shared with my Charles.”

  Rémi entwined his fingers with Alyssa’s and grinned. “I have to keep her, Martha. No other woman will have me.”

  Martha snorted and cuffed his shoulder. “Oh, go on, you big flirt. Take your woman home. She looks exhausted.”

  They left Martha in the care of her brother. Most of the mourners had left the cemetery, but Alyssa still needed to get a message to Corey. She could walk right over there and talk to him, but what if Rémi had other ideas? On the opposite side, at the outer edge of the field, she spotted a large grouping of wildflowers. “Oh, Rémi”—she pointed to them—“aren’t they beautiful?”

  Immediately, Rémi strode over to the flowers and gathered a few for her. She knelt down as if to fix the strap on her sandals and turned her back away from him. She peered over at Corey’s hideout and, praying he’d see her, made a “call me” sign with her thumb and pinky as she mouthed the words.

  Rémi returned and handed her a bouquet. “These should brighten up your motel room.”

  Rising, she inhaled their strong scent. “They smell so wonderful. Thank you.”

  “Not nearly as wonderful as you,” he said, bending down to nuzzle her neck.

  She loved the sexy timbre of his voice and the caress of his warm breath on her skin. Her nipples tightened, goosebumps pebbled her arms. She pressed herself against him. “Take me home, Rémi.”

  Swallowing hard, he wrapped his hand around her upper arm and tugged her to his car. As they passed Thompson, Rémi banged on the hood, startling the man, who’d clearly been sleeping. “Follow the Ford.”

  Thompson shook his head and pushed open the door. To his credit, he didn’t mention Rémi’s hold on her arm. “This is against protocol.”
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br />   Alyssa sighed. Do-gooders would be the death of her. “It’s okay, Constable. I’ll take any heat for this.”

  Despite looking disgruntled, Thompson turned on the ignition. She and Rémi got into the Fusion. As he started the car, loud rock music blasted from the speakers. Alyssa slammed her hands over her ears. He lowered the volume, a sheepish expression on his face. “I was a little upset on the drive over.”

  She lowered her hands and breathed in as her heart rate slowly returned to normal. “Listen, Rémi. I’m sorry about what happened yesterday. I should have told you about Nitro and my time undercover. But you have to believe me, what we have isn’t even remotely comparable to my situation with Nitro. I never used you.” Except for when she’d hoped to ally with him to bring in the SQ native squad. Jesus. She pressed her hands onto her knees and forced herself to continue. “To be honest, I did hope to convince you the SQ’s solution to the policing problem was the best. But I’m not even sure it is anymore. Your tribal police force might be the way to go.”

  Rémi’s face remained impassive. Her gut twisted. Why wasn’t he happy? “Why the change of heart?” he asked.

  She couldn’t blame him for being suspicious. She’d given him more than enough reason. “I have a pretty good idea who’s the Vipers’ man in the SQ. But there could be more than one mole. I don’t know who I can trust. And given that, I can’t expect anyone from the rez to trust anyone from the SQ.”

  His eyes bore into hers, their green as bright and piercing as a laser. “I trust you.”

  She cradled his strong jaw in her hands and pressed her lips to his. “I’ll never let you down again. From now on, I’ll be as honest as I can about everything.”

  He smiled. “I can’t ask for more than that.” Tilting his head, he captured her lips in a searing kiss. His tongue swept across hers, shooting sparks into every nerve ending.