Sugar and Sin Bundle

by Stacey Joy Netzel

  “I won’t. As long as you don’t either.”

  “Deal.” He cracked a smile, but it did nothing to relieve the tautness of his jaw. Yeah, this dinner with the Whitedeer family was going to be a world-class riot.

  Bringing Alyssa to Aunt Maggie’s had been a giant mistake. He should have made sure Chaz wouldn’t show up. Now it all felt a little too much like dropping a lamb in the midst of a pack of wolves.

  If Chaz said one more horrible thing to Alyssa, they were leaving, even if he had to carry her over his shoulder, deal or no deal.

  Rémi followed Alyssa and Tommy inside the house. When they reached the kitchen, Tommy opened the fridge. “Anything to drink? Beer? Wine? Strawberry drink?”

  “Beer.” A whole case just might get him though the next few hours.

  “Blonde?”

  He looked down at Alyssa. “Always. What would you like, sweetheart?”

  “Some strawberry drink would be great.”

  Tommy made a gagging sound. Still holding Alyssa’s gaze, Rémi shot the bird at his cousin. “You’re just jealous because your girlfriend isn’t as hot as mine.”

  Uncle Greg stepped into the kitchen and clapped Tommy on the shoulder. “No, he’s jealous because he doesn’t even have a girlfriend. I’m thinking he’d settle for just about anyone right now.”

  Alyssa laughed. “Is that right? Tommy, I’ve got a few friends down at the station I could introduce you to.”

  Tommy’s face turned as red as the strawberry drink he handed her. “Ah… Alyssa, meet my dad, Greg Skye.”

  Alyssa held out her hand. “It’s a pleasure, sir.”

  Uncle Greg winked at Rémi, then pulled Alyssa’s hand over his arm. “Humor an old man; let me steal you away for a few minutes.”

  As soon as the screen door banged shut behind them, Rémi grabbed the beer from Tommy’s hand and downed half the bottle.

  “Hey, take it easy, cuz. She’s safe with my dad.”

  He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “We shouldn’t be here. This is not going to end well.”

  “Alyssa can take care of herself.”

  “If Chaz touches her, I’ll tear his fucking head off.”

  “And I’ll hold him while you do it.”

  Rémi squeezed his cousin’s shoulder. “Thanks.” But with all the family here, he wasn’t worried about Chaz physically hurting Alyssa. Rémi was more worried about the damage Chaz could do with a few well-chosen words.

  Tommy leaned against the counter, then lifted up his bottle and slugged the beer back. “From the look on your face, I’m thinking there’s more to this. You haven’t told her everything, have you?”

  Rémi set his beer on the counter and huffed. “When the fuck would I have had time? It’s been one thing after another.”

  “She has a right to know.”

  “I’m aware of that.” He lowered his gaze to the floor, unable to stand the hint of disapproval in Tommy’s eyes. “I love her, Tommy. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” And by telling Alyssa the truth, he risked losing her forever.

  Tommy looked out the window above the sink. “If that’s the case, I think we better get outside. Chaz is on the warpath.”

  Rémi dashed to the window. Like a tank, Chaz was advancing on Alyssa, who was kicking a ball around with his sons.

  All the air left Rémi’s lungs in a rush, and his heart thudded to a stop. He’d just wanted a nice friendly dinner where Alyssa could meet his family. Not fucking World War III.

  Chaz’s teeth ground together so hard, pain shot through his jaw as he stomped across Aunt Maggie’s yard. How dare that white whore talk to his boys? Did she fucking think she was one of them now? Ha! He’d take great pleasure in setting her straight.

  He grabbed each boy by the arm and pushed them in his parents’ direction. “Go talk to Grandma and Grandpa for a few minutes.”

  Alyssa rose from her crouch, her eyes never leaving his face. “Nice kids. They must take after their mother.”

  He had to give her credit for standing her ground. But he still hated her fucking guts. Leaning in close, he growled for her ears only, “Don’t ever talk to my sons again.”

  “What are you afraid of, Chaz?”

  Hate burned in his chest. “Nothing, especially not a piece of white trash like you.”

  “There you go with the name-calling again.” With a pale hand, she flicked her yellow hair over her shoulder, tension visible only in the white lines on either side of her mouth.

  “I can think of another. How about selfish bitch?”

  She rubbed a hand over her forehead and sighed. “What are you talking about now?”

  “Rémi’s giving up everything to be with you, while your life goes on business-as-usual.”

  She frowned. “What’s he giving up?’

  Like some fucking white knight, Rémi swooped in out of nowhere and hooked his arm around the Snow Queen’s waist. “Not a single thing I don’t want to. Drop it, Chaz.”

  His tone, as sharp as the blade in Chaz’s pocket, didn’t intimidate Chaz one bit. In fact, it gave him some great ammunition—Rémi was keeping secrets. Focusing on Alyssa, he grinned. This was going to be almost as fun as killing her. “White people can’t live on the rez.”

  “Well, yeah. I already knew that.” She turned a questioning look on Rémi. “I assumed if we ever got to that point, we’d live on your ranch.”

  Rémi touched her cheek with the back of his hand and smiled. “I was going to ask you to move in tonight.”

  Chaz almost gagged at seeing his own flesh and blood stroking that white cheek so tenderly. “Rémi will be persona non grata on the rez. His band membership could be revoked.”

  Glee warmed his insides when Alyssa’s face paled even more. Bewildered eyes looked up at Rémi, almost pleading. “Is that true?” When he nodded, her fingers clutched the front of his shirt. “Because I’m white?”

  Rémi’s mouth twisted into a grimace as he cut Chaz a deadly glare. His hand ran up and down her arm. There’d be no soothing tonight. Only ugly truths. Chaz barked out a laugh. “You’re an SQ slut, Sergeant Morgan. Do you really think anyone here would ever trust dear Rémi again?” He glanced around and lowered his voice. “Who knows what tribe secrets you could get him to spill with his cock between your pretty pink lips. I bet that’s how you get information out of all your informants.”

  Alyssa sucked in a breath. Rémi took her arm. “This conversation is over. Let’s go, Alyssa.”

  They turned their backs to him and started to walk away. He waited for them to take a couple steps, then dropped the bomb. “Sergeant, there’s something else you should know.”

  She froze and muttered, “Oh God, what now?”

  Tommy stepped forward and shot him a dark look. “That’s enough, Chaz.”

  Raksótha, Aunt Maggie, and Uncle Greg fell in beside Tommy. Chaz’s own mother and father stayed back with Sarah and the boys. He scanned their faces, disapproval clear in the tightness of their features. How blind they were. He put his hands on his hips. “If Rémi wants to make decisions that get him ostracized from the tribe, that’s up to him. But someone has to speak up for the children that haven’t been born yet. They need to have a voice.”

  Alyssa spun around. Rémi caught her arm. “Come on. Let’s go.”

  She pulled away from his grip. “No. I want to hear this. What about Rémi’s children?”

  Rémi’s green eyes dulled, and for a brief moment, Chaz felt sorry for him. He knew what it was like to lust after a woman. But unlike Chaz, Rémi had chosen the wrong woman.

  Raksótha rested his hand on Chaz’s arm and indicated the frightened children in the play area. “You may mean well, Kwátere, but this isn’t the time or place for this conversation.”

  “Rémi doesn’t have the balls to tell her.”

  Alyssa rested her hands on her hips and shifted her weight. “So you tell me then. I know you’re dying to.”

  “If the two of you ha
ve children, they will be only one quarter Indian.”

  She nodded, then frowned. “Isn’t that enough to be recognized under the Indian Act?”

  “It depends on the circumstances. But that’s irrelevant. Our band membership requires a fifty-percent blood quantum.”

  Her arms circled her waist as she hugged herself. “Meaning?”

  “The children would not be part of this tribe. They’d have to be raised white.”

  Her skin turned ashen as she looked over at Rémi. “You should have told me.” Her voice cracked. Rémi reached out, but she dodged his hand and ran around the side of the house.

  Rémi glowered at him, murder in his eyes. “You sick bastard.”

  Chaz grinned. “Anytime. The day I can’t beat an apple half-breed is the day my spirit journeys to the sky world.”

  “Why don’t we speed that along?” Rémi lunged at him, but Tommy held him back. “Not here, cuz. Not now. Go after your woman. She’s hurting.”

  “This isn’t over,” Rémi said with a jab of his finger, before chasing off after his bitch.

  “But I bet your relationship is,” Chaz called out. He laughed when Rémi’s shoulders stiffened even as he kept running.

  Tommy punched him in the arm, hard enough to make him stumble back. “That was low, even for you.”

  Regaining his balance, he shrugged and adjusted his clothing. “She had a right to know.”

  “Since when are you so concerned with a white woman’s rights?” Tommy sneered.

  “Since someone had to save our cousin, asshole. He’s too pussy-drunk to think straight. He’ll thank me someday.”

  Raksótha let out a long-suffering sigh and shook his head as he stalked back to the table. Aunt Maggie and the others continued to stare at him in silent disapproval. He hooked his hair behind his ear and smiled even though his insides seethed. Bunch of fucking cowards. This was exactly what close proximity to white people did: turned good traditional Indians into PC pansies.

  But after tonight, he’d finally be free of Sergeant fucking Morgan and her interference with his family and his plans for the tribe. And he’d use her death to teach Rémi a thing or two about white-lovers and whores.

  CHAPTER 24

  Grandfather had warned him, but he hadn’t listened. As mad as he was at Chaz, the blame was all Rémi’s. If he hadn’t been such a coward, he would have told Alyssa everything himself. Now all he could do was try to explain his reasons and hope she understood.

  Rémi rounded the corner of the house just as Alyssa yanked open the door to Constable Leroux’s car. “Alyssa, wait!”

  She slammed the door shut and swung around. Fists clenching and unclenching at her sides, her face a dark cloud of fury, she marched across the lawn toward him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He reached out to touch her face, but she swatted his hand away. He sighed. “Because none of it matters.”

  Her face reddened. “You’re lying to both of us if you think you believe that. This community means everything to you. You’re a first responder, a drug counselor, a faithkeeper, and those are only the things I know about. You belong to the Longhouse and speak your native language fluently. Your greatest dream is to run a tribal police force to ensure the safety of your people. That does not sound like someone who doesn’t care.”

  He thrust his hands into his pockets to keep from touching her. In her current mood, she’d probably take him down if he tried. “I’m not lying. My grandfather and this community took me in when I had no one and nowhere else to go. I’m proud of my heritage, proud to be Iroquois. But I don’t want any of it if they won’t accept you as a part of my life.”

  She blinked as tears filled her eyes. “You’d give up your place in this community, everything you’ve worked for, to be with me.”

  “In a heartbeat.”

  “Maybe you won’t need to.” A hopeful glint flashed in her gaze and Rémi’s stomach twisted into a knot. Nothing she could say or do would change the way some people felt about her. “Chaz said people wouldn’t trust you because I’m with the SQ. So, I’ll quit.”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but no. The SQ is your calling. You live and breathe it.”

  She inhaled deeply, her chest rising and falling as she let the air out. “I became a cop for all the wrong reasons. My little brother, Andy, was killed when the Vipers set off a car bomb outside the park where he was playing ball with his friends. When I found out Lalonde had ordered the bombing, I decided that even if I died doing it, I’d avenge Andy.”

  So much about Alyssa finally made sense. Why she’d agreed to go undercover with the Vipers. Why she’d stayed after the proof of loyalty. Why she’d kept up the relationship with Nitro. He hugged her shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I am too, because nothing I did brought my brother back. All I did was manage to tear the family I had left apart. What kind of a person would I be if I did the same to yours?”

  “I’m not going to lose my family.”

  “Be realistic. Your family is one of the most traditional on the rez. If Chaz is right, you won’t be a band member and you won’t be part of the Longhouse either. How many of your friends and family will be willing to risk the social stigma of continuing to see you? Us?”

  Tommy and Raksótha might stick by him, maybe even Aunt Maggie, but he doubted too many others would. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Being Iroquois, being a part of this community, is who you are. It’s your identity.”

  “No, it’s only half of who I am. Why is it so wrong for me to have kids with a white woman?” Except they’d never talked about having a family before. “You do want children, don’t you?”

  “Before meeting you, I never thought I’d have the chance. Now…” She took a deep breath. “I want that more than anything. But your family wants you to marry an Iroquois woman and have beautiful Iroquois babies.” Tears flowed down her cheeks.

  Rémi gathered her against him, desperate to fill the hollow her words had created in his chest. “Shouldn’t it be my choice who I have a family with?”

  “Those babies, they won’t have a choice about who their mother is. But they’ll pay for it all their lives if she’s me.” When she looked up at him, his heart sank to his feet. Alyssa’s mind was made up. “I can’t do this to you or your kids.”

  Shit. Things couldn’t end like this. She had it all wrong. With his thumb, he stroked her cheeks, her lips. “Do you think I would do anything to hurt my own children?” He tilted up her chin. “Our children? If this tribe doesn’t accept them, then the tribe doesn’t deserve them.”

  “But your family—”

  “Fuck my family.” Blood pounded in his veins as an all-too-familiar anger took hold of him. “If they loved me, truly loved me, they’d accept you and our kids, no matter the color of your skin.”

  She touched his chest with her small hand. “Rémi, I…” Her voice trailed off.

  “What?”

  “Fuck!” She whipped around, turning her back to him. Her hands dug into the golden strands of her hair. “Can you honestly say that in one year, or five, or even ten, you won’t start to resent me?” She choked on a sob, her shoulders shaking. “When our children grow up to be white instead of Iroquois and don’t speak the language and don’t know the culture, you won’t resent me then? I know you faced prejudice because your eyes are green, but what do you think our kids will look like? What if they’re blond?”

  He walked around her, gripped her shoulders and bent his knees to put them at eye level. “Then I’ll love them even more because they’ll look just like you.”

  The sadness in her expression tore at him. He’d do anything to take it away. “I’m sorry, Rémi. I can’t do this to you,” she whispered.

  Fear clawed down his back. “What are you saying, Alyssa?”

  “I can’t let you give up everything you’ve ever wanted for me.” Her voice broke and tears r
an down her cheeks in rivulets.

  He let go of her and took a step back. “I’m so tired of everyone telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. Let me make my own fucking decisions.”

  “Eventually, you’d resent me.” Rising on her toes, she pressed her lips to his in a soft, sweet kiss. “It’s better if we end this now.”

  Her words poured over him like ice, stopping his heart. “No, Alyssa. Don’t do this.”

  “I have to.” She rubbed a hand against her sternum. “I don’t ever want you to hate me.” She turned and ran to the cruiser, yanked the door open, and threw herself inside.

  As the car rounded the bend in the road, Rémi sank to his knees in the grass. His chest contracted and he couldn’t get any air into his lungs. Fuck! He wanted to howl as his heart shattered. Alyssa was gone. The only woman he’d ever loved was gone. She’d left and she’d taken all his dreams with her.

  He was alone again, caught between two worlds, accepted by neither.

  Shrouding her face with her hair, Alyssa dug into her purse for a tissue. She couldn’t let Leroux see her cry. Her hands shook so badly, she fumbled the packet. As it landed between her feet, a great sob escaped her lips. She never should have come here, never should have broken the rules, never should have fallen in love. She dropped her face into her hands and pressed her forehead against her knees. What had she done? Without Rémi, what did she have? Nothing but a bleak, empty future.

  A hand touched her shoulder. “Sergeant, you okay?”

  Bam! Another nail in the coffin of her career. As soon as he was alone, Leroux would be on the phone calling all his buddies at the station to share the news of her meltdown. Already, she could imagine the looks she’d get: patronizing ones from the men, disparaging ones from the women. Well fuck them. Fuck them all. “Just get me to the motel,” she snapped.

  “If you want to talk, I’m a good listener.” He sounded sincere, which made her feel even worse.

  Fingers trembling, she retrieved the packet from the floor and used a tissue to wipe the tears from her face. “I’m sorry you saw that.”