Sugar and Sin Bundle

by Stacey Joy Netzel

  "Oh, Michael. Oh! I can't take being tied up anymore. I need you to untie me now, I need this blindfold off!" She sounded so distressed that Michael stopped and removed the tie and blindfold.

  "Too much? I didn't mean to scare you."

  "Yes, too much. But you didn't scare me. I just... Michael, I need to touch you. I need to make love to you, too. Can I move with this thing?"

  "You should be able to. It might feel a little heavy so you will need to use your Kegel muscles to hold it. It isn't any longer than say, my fingers for instance.

  "Michael, it has been months, and I have been patient, but I want to get you off. The whole nine yards, I mean it. No matter what happens, and yes, I know all the horror stories. I need to at least try. We've come close, but you won't let yourself go. You like seeing me in full climax. Why won't you let me see you that vulnerable?"

  "Because what if it all goes wrong? What if something happens, and you are so disgusted you never want to touch me again? What if nothing at all happens? Are you going to be able to deal with that? Violet, I... I love you, and I would rather you have this piece of me than risk you leaving. Can you understand?"

  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. This was going to hurt like hell, but there wasn't any other way. She just hoped eventually he would forgive her. "No, Michael, I don't understand, and I can't do it anymore. You are using your situation to hide from me. You say you love me, and I think you believe it, but if you can't let yourself be vulnerable with me, then you don't truly trust me to be there when things are really bad. I can't accept just a piece of you. I can't be your kitten and just take from you. I’m done."

  She got out of bed and went to the bathroom. When she came back, Michael was still in bed. She left the chains and carving on the end of the bed. Michael just stared at her as she went to the living room. A short while later, he heard the front door open and close and then nothing. Violet made it to the lobby before the tears started falling. She made it into the taxi before she started sobbing outright. The poor Indian cabbie had no idea what to do, so he just kept mumbling endearments in Hindi.

  By the time she got home, she was cried out, at least for the moment. Exhausted, wired, and hungry. she made her way to the kitchen hoping she wouldn't run into Allyn. The last thing she wanted to hear was “I told you so” from her brother. She should have stopped when she saw the light on, but in her dazed state she just walked right into Allyn. He put his arms around her to stop her from falling, and she clutched at him and started crying all over again.

  "Hey, it can't be as bad as that," he said, stroking her hair. "Um, did the good doctor do something stupid?"

  "No," she croaked. "I did. I ended it, at least for now. Oh, Allyn. It really does hurt! I mean, physically hurts."

  "I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

  "Is this it? Is this why you never date? Because someone broke your heart like this?"

  "Not quite. She didn't mean to. She couldn't help...never mind, What can I do? Should I be the obnoxious big brother and go beat him up for you?"

  That made her laugh. "Don't you touch a hair on his head!"

  "Still in love with him then?"

  "Hopelessly."

  "I'd tell you to start drinking, but I think it only works for men. Shopping? Isn't that what women do?" He turned away and opened the freezer. When he turned back he had a quart of ice cream in his hand. "I believe under the circumstances this becomes a single serving."

  "Great. So I'll be miserable and fat." He turned to put it away, but she stopped him. "Hey, I didn't say I wasn't going to eat it!"

  "Are you going to be okay?"

  "Eventually. I just hope he comes to his senses soon. Thanks. You are a great big brother."

  "Thanks, I'll cue up a bunch of sappy chick flicks in the screening room for you," Allyn said as he was walking away.

  The following Friday at the Gym

  "Jeez, Dennison, you look like shit. And where is the cream puff?"

  "Cam, for once in your life can you shut the fuck up?"

  "Damn, you didn't screw that up, did you? Fuck, you did, didn't you? That girl had it so bad for you. How the hell did you manage to push her away? After all this time I figured you were good to go. Early on she must have realized what an asshole you were.

  "I'm out of here, shithead." Michael wheeled himself outside. The air was cold, but he didn't care. He was so miserable he barely felt it.

  "Michael, wait up!"

  "What? Come to get more licks in?"

  "No, look, I'm really sorry. I was kidding. I didn't think you two had really broken up. She really was crazy about you. So what the hell happened?"

  "She walked out, said I couldn't give her enough."

  "She didn't strike me as the spoiled heiress type. True, she's got more money than God, but she never seemed in your face about it."

  "What the hell are you talking about? She's got some nonprofit job at some foundation. She's comfortable, but rich? I don't think so."

  "You really need to look at something besides medical journals. My niece, Delia, you met her, almost blew a gasket when I told her you were dating Violet. Violet doesn't work at the foundation, she is the foundation. Well, she and her brother. They have like Gates/Buffet kind of money but are seriously quiet about it. Delia is getting her degree in information security, and in one of her classes she had to find out everything she could about a local celebrity. So she scoped out Violet. I only realized when I saw one of the pictures she pulled off the internet."

  "You mean to tell me... I gotta go."

  "Buddy, don't do anything stupid. You look fit to kill someone. Why don't you come back in and take it out on the court? Seriously, Michael, don't call her when you're like this. You’re just going to regret it."

  "Undoubtedly," Michael yelled from his car as he started the engine. He knew on some level Cam was right, but it just kept boiling in his brain. Was their whole relationship some kind of joke to her? He had thought she’d been overwhelmed with the expensive gifts. Maybe she didn't think they were up to her standards? And the whole submission thing, was she just laughing behind his back? The poor broken cripple thought he could play tough with the fucking heiress.

  At nine thirty Violet's cell phone rang. She was already in bed and feeling sorry for herself. It had been a whole week, and Michael still hadn't called. She looked at the caller ID and tried to stop her heart from pounding. She missed him so much, maybe he just needed more time.

  She hit the answer button.

  "Michael?"

  "Don't say a fucking word. I just wanted to tell you, as bad as I thought I felt last week when you left, it was nothing compared to tonight when I found out you have been lying to me all along. Why did we never go to your place, Violet? I always thought it was because you lived in some walk up, and you didn't want to embarrass me, or you were too embarrassed that I had more money than you. But no, you didn't want me to know that you live in a fucking mansion on the shore, and really you were just embarrassed by me."

  "Michael, that isn't true."

  "You're not rich?"

  "Yes, I am rich. The house is the only obvious sign of it. I was never embarrassed to be with you Michael, ever. I'm sorry I wasn't completely honest with you. I just wanted a chance for us to get to know each other without the money getting in the way."

  "And you had the audacity to slam me for not trusting you? You couldn't even be honest about who you are. So was the sex thing just some fucking joke, see if you could get the cripple to get off? I've heard the rich are into weird kink. Was that all it was? Some sick way to have a feeling of accomplishment?"

  "Oh, Michael." She was crying now. There was no way he could miss it. "Please. Don't make what we did into something cheap. I can't believe you could be so cruel. Good-bye, Michael."

  She hung up and started sobbing so hard no sound came out. When it did, it came out as a keening wail, bringing Allyn running to her room. He didn't need to ask, he knew it had to do with
Dennison. Wheelchair or not, he wanted to kick his ass. Violet hadn't been like this since their parents had died. All he could do then was hold her, so that was all he did now. Finally, in the early morning she fell into an exhausted sleep, and he went back to his room.

  The next morning Violet came downstairs to find a plane ticket sitting on her plate with a note from Allyn. The note read: Take a couple weeks off. Tante and Oncle miss you. Give them all a kiss from me, too. Allyn.

  Maybe a trip to Grasse wouldn't be such a bad thing, except for the part of actually getting out of her pajamas. If she could manage that, it would only get easier from there. Looking at the ticket, she'd have to hurry if she was going to pack and make it to the plane that afternoon.

  ***

  After three weeks of being spoiled and fed by Tante Marrianne, Violet knew she had to go back soon. The foundation was too much for Allyn to run alone, no matter how much she wanted to hide. Her parents and Allyn had raised her to do her chores first, play second. As an adult that meant she felt guilty hanging out like a teenager with her cousin Marie-Hèllene. La Reine, the queen, as everyone called her, had recently graduated from university, and it was fun to spend time with her just being girls.

  "Violette, je ne comprend pas. I don't understand, this man, he is angry because you are rich? Here, the man would be happy to have a rich wife."

  "Maybe he did not want a wife."

  "Mais you said he told you he was hurting when you left. He might not want the wife now, mais he did not want you to leave."

  "La Reine, you'll understand when you fall in love. None of it makes any sense."

  "Bouf. I have been in love with the same man jamais, forever, and he still will not look at me. I know it makes no sense. I tried to fall in love with other men when I was at university, but they were all just silly boys, and I did not want a boy. You do not have to tell me about l'amour." Then she laughed, "Mais le sexe, fantastique, non?"

  "La Reine! Oui, plus que fantastique." And Violet laughed too. She missed Michael with a physical need that wouldn't relent. Not just because of what he did to her sexually, but their closeness, the way he looked at her, just speaking with him. But she couldn't change who she was any more than he could.

  In another couple of days she would have go back. "La Reine, what are you going to do? It has been months since you graduated, and as much as Tante and Oncle like having you here, it is time to get a job and start living your life, no? Maybe hunt down that man you are in love with and make him listen to reason? Why don't you come back to the States? You could stay with Allyn and me. Maybe work at the foundation? We’re always looking for good people with finance degrees. If you like it, you can stay. If not, call it an internship." Violet felt more excited than she had since she and Michael broke up. "Please. Think of the fun you can have torturing Allyn."

  "I... I would like that very much. Will Allyn mind me in the house?"

  "I don't know why he would, he has always had a soft spot for you, ever since you made fun of his accent and called him Eeenglish. Why else would a twenty-year-old boy spend an entire summer learning French to please a five-year-old girl."

  Marie-Hèllenne smiled wider than Violet had ever seen her.

  "Oui, I'll do it. Mais, when will you leave?"

  "I'll go in a couple of days, but you can get what you need done and come whenever. It will be like having a sister for me."

  "Bouf, I have nothing but sisters. I am looking forward to torturing your brother!"

  "You always did save your worst pranks for him. I'm so glad you'll come. Now I will have something to look forward to when I go back."

  ***

  Back in Boston

  It had been twenty-two days, sixteen hours, and forty-five minutes since Michael’s life had imploded from his own stupidity. He had transferred patients and taken vacation time, he was so useless. He had tried everything to get her out of his system, even thought about getting a call girl but rejected it. He didn't want a woman, he wanted that woman. He rationalized that he was right and she was wrong and she'd call him. When he saw the opera board meeting on his calendar, he knew he'd see her there. He had decided he was an idiot, and he'd apologize. She wasn't there. He had gotten desperate and called the foundation, only to be told she was on an extended leave. Now driving to her house, he knew he he'd do anything for her to take him back.

  Getting out of the car in the circular drive, he looked the house over. “House” was a quaint term for what stood in front of him. Like the “cottages” of Newport, it went on forever. It could have been a dorm at a small college, one nobody except the super wealthy would be able to afford. He looked at the entrance and swore under his breath. Three steps up to the entry portico blocked him from even ringing the damn doorbell. He put his head in his hands and tried not to scream in frustration.

  Michael had no idea how long he sat there. He was now cold and miserable, or rather, more miserable than when he’d arrived. He heard a car pull in the drive but didn’t look to see who it might me. He heard footsteps behind him, male from the sound of them, certainly not Violet’s.

  “Dennison? What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Allyn, I...”

  “I don’t know that I want you anywhere near my sister. Frankly, it is only the thin veneer of British civility keeping me from bashing you in the face. What the hell did you say to her anyway, man?”

  “I called her a liar because she led me to believe she worked at the foundation instead of owning it.”

  “Ugh. Always the goddamned money. We run the foundation. Violet does indeed work there. Yes, it has our family name, but it’s not like we could take the money back and do whatever we want with it. All of the Bellows money is in a trust. Violet and I get a nice share, but aside from that, the only thing we got when our parents died was this house. Violet refuses to sell it for sentimental reasons, but in this economy...” Allyn shook his head. “Don’t know why I’m explaining any of this to you. So I repeat, what are you doing here?”

  “I came to apologize to Violet, but I couldn’t even get to the doorbell.”

  “Violet isn’t here.” Allyn looked at Michael and thought he’d never seen a man look so pitiful. It was obvious that the man was in love with his sister, whether he realized it or not. “You look like you could use a drink. I have an excellent collection of single malts. Come in and have a drink. How long have you been sitting here? You look blue, for God’s sake.”

  “But the steps...”

  “Yes, well I think I can manage getting you up and back down.” Allyn backed the chair up the steps easily and opened the door, escorting Michael inside. Michael didn’t speak again till they were in the library and the scotch had been poured.

  “Where is she?”

  “France, but I’ll not tell you where, so don’t think you can run off and find her. She should be home soon enough, and then let her decide if she’ll see you. Does she know how you feel about her?”

  “I told her the last time I saw her, but that was the night she walked out on me. Then I... she must hate me.”

  “No, I suspect she is in love with you. Though you being a typical male seemed to have messed it up. We all do that, don’t we?”

  “So you think there might be a chance?”

  “I know my sister to be one of the most forgiving people I have ever met. That said, no promises. I will tell her you came here to apologize. Have you had anything to eat? She'll kill me if you end up in an accident and I was a precipitating factor."

  "No, but I couldn't intrude more than I already have. I should be going."

  "Nonsense. I'll have Sheila make up some steaks. Frankly, I'm tired of eating alone after three weeks of my sister being gone. And it wouldn't hurt to spend some time getting to know you. Might work in your favor with Violet."

  "Thank you. I shouldn't ask, but has she mentioned me at all? God, I sound pathetic."

  Allyn burst out laughing. "No more than the rest of us when we realize we can
't live without them. Let's go see what we can scrounge up from the cook. Grab the scotch."

  By the end of a very pleasant dinner, Allyn knew several things. Dr. Dennison was a decent man with a quick intellect, and Violet could have done much worse than fall in love with him. Dennison was head over heels in love with his sister. Lastly, he found he and Michael had much in common, and he actually liked the man. If everything worked out well with the doctor and Violet, there were worse things than being friends with one's brother-in-law.

  When Violet arrived home several days later, Allyn told her about his dinner with Michael.

  "Violet, I know you were upset, but I really think he meant to apologize for being an ass. You women really do make us men crazed, and we aren't truly equipped to deal with the confusion. I'm not saying you should rush into anything, but I thought he was a decent man, and he is in love with you. Though you haven't said it, I am sure you’re in love with him, too. All I am saying is just think about it."

  "I know Michael is a wonderful man, and I know he loves me to a point. But Allyn, he won't allow himself to completely trust me. Yet he asks exactly that from me. Maybe I am crazy, but there are parts of himself he has closed off, and I just can't ignore them anymore. I have to wait until he comes to me, then I'll know he is ready to trust me. I'm glad you two talked, though. One thing I realized the last couple of weeks is that you and I don't have a lot of friends. Plenty of acquaintances, but few true friends. Maybe that’s why I asked La Reine to come stay with us for a while. I think she would be a good fit at the foundation, and I’ll enjoy having a sort of sister for a while." Violet looked at Allyn. He seemed pale compared to a minute ago. "I should warn you, she is especially looking forward to playing tricks on you."

  "I... I... oh, this is going to be bad," Allyn said under his breath.