Shades of Deceit (Raven Point Pack Trilogy Book 3)

by Heather Renee

  I truly did feel awful for being so selfish before, but I hadn’t been able to control myself. I had feared Liam not being able to choose me over his family from the beginning, and when he ignored me, my insecurity reared its ugly head. I couldn’t manage to rein in my reactions to the shitty situation we were dealing with.

  I headed for the trees to the left of the house and undressed when I was further into the forest. I sent another text to Augie, telling him I was okay and would call him later before tucking my phone into the pile of clothes I made on the ground.

  I stretched my arms out and let the shift take over. When I was on all four legs, I shook my fur out and let out a deep howl.

  Hurt, was my wolf’s first thought.

  I know, girl. Me, too.

  My wolf took off into the woods as fast as we could go, and I reveled in the challenge of the new terrain. Rocks bit at my paws as we took a path less traveled. I smelled water somewhere within the vicinity and decided without much thought that it would be a good place to go to sort through the conflicting emotions within me.

  After a few wrong turns and double-backing on the trails, we finally made it to a small waterfall and stream. My wolf reached the edge, lapping up the water after our rigorous run. Once her thirst was satisfied, we surveyed the area more clearly.

  There was a canopy of trees above us, casting a shadow over the area and blocking out most sounds except the water and a few animals skittering across the forest floor. The creek was clear with a pebbled bottom, and small fish darted around the shallow waters.

  I laid on the cool ground, taking everything in.

  Liam’s dad had been killed just as my brother had. His pack had suffered significant losses. He had completely shut me out, and my dominant personality didn’t like that one bit. Neither did my wolf. She tossed around the thoughts and we both came back to the same conclusion.

  We needed to let Liam go.

  Not out of anger like I had been feeling earlier, but because it was the right thing to do. His pack needed him and mine needed me. I would have resented him if he had ever asked me to choose my pack over him, so I couldn’t ask him to.

  We would go our separate ways for now and hopefully, one day, we’d find our way back to each other. But if we didn’t, I’d have to learn how to be okay with that.

  My wolf stretched out, and with our minds made up, we headed back to their pack house with less urgency than when we had left. Even if I knew it was the right thing to do, I was in no hurry to have my heart ripped from my chest.

  After I got dressed, I checked my phone to find another flood of messages from Augie and several missed calls. I hit the call button and he answered on the first ring.

  “What the fuck is going on over there?” he snapped.

  I smiled. I loved when he cussed. He so rarely did it.

  “A lot. I’m sorry for worrying you, but I’m okay now. Or at least, I will be one day. I won’t be home today like I said, but tomorrow instead. I’ll catch the first flight out.”

  He let out a loud sigh. “Why does it sound like you and Liam won’t be coming back together?”

  “I don’t really want to talk about it right now, but his pack needs him. Things are bad here, Augie. It’s been made clear I’m not welcome and it would be better to give their family some space. I need to focus on Raven Point and finding Declan, while Liam handles his pack.”

  “Taya…” Augie warned. “Are you sure?”

  “No, but it’s the only option I can see. I need to go back in the house and sort out a flight. I’ll text you the details later, okay?”

  “I love you, Tay.”

  “I love you, too. Talk soon.”

  I hung up and put the phone in my pocket. Saying the words out loud had solidified my decision, but also had my heart pounding and palms sweating. If I didn’t get out of this pack soon, I wasn’t sure I would be able to keep my resolve in check.

  When I arrived back in the house, I purposely walked past the office Liam had been in earlier, but the door was shut and I couldn’t hear any voices. I continued toward the room we had been shown earlier and, true to her word, Jamie was still waiting for me.

  She stood from the bed, making her way to me before wrapping her arms around me. I returned the embrace, needing the support more than I realized.

  She pulled back. “What did you decide?”

  “I’m still leaving, but for different reasons. And it won’t be until tomorrow morning. It’s the right thing to do.”

  “The right thing for who?” she challenged.

  “For both our packs. They each need us to finish cleaning up the messes Declan left behind. Maybe when it’s all over, things can be different, but for now, this is it.”

  “I see where you’re coming from, but I don’t agree with you. The two of you are stronger together, and defeating Declan is going to take a team effort. Splitting everyone up now isn’t going to do anyone any favors except Declan.”

  I nodded but didn’t say anything else. I wasn’t going to change my mind and I didn’t want to argue with Jamie. I knew she meant well.

  A knock sounded at the door and Caleb walked in without waiting for our reply. He went straight to Jamie and pulled her into his arms like his life depended on it. I could see the sorrow in his stormy blue eyes, but also saw how being near his mate eased the tension in his body. I wished I could have been that comfort for Liam.

  I turned to walk away, but Jamie called for me. “Are you at least telling them?”

  “Telling who what?” Caleb asked.

  “Taya’s leaving. Without Liam.”

  Caleb let out a low whistle. “When are you telling him?”

  “Whenever I see him later, assuming I do.”

  “He’s not going to be happy,” Caleb said.

  “Well, sometimes we all have to deal with things that don’t make us happy. It’s called adulting. He’ll be fine.”

  Caleb laughed. “Whatever you say, Firecracker. I just came to check on you guys. I have to get back, but we shouldn’t be too much longer. You ladies still good here?”

  “Yeah, Addie brought our bags earlier and said we could join her in the kitchen if we were hungry.”

  Huh. She must have done that when I was gone.

  “Alright, see you soon.” Caleb kissed Jamie and waved at me as he walked back out the door.

  The reminder of food made my stomach growl. The run had taken a lot of energy and it was well past dinner now.

  “Care to show me who Addie is, so I can get some food?” I asked Jamie.

  “Sure. I’m hungry, too. Maybe a full belly will knock some sense into you.”

  I smiled, because I knew she was trying to lighten the mood, but I also knew there was nothing that was going to change my mind.

  I instinctively slowed as we made our way past the office and noticed the door was cracked. I strained my hearing to see how things were going, but I soon regretted it. I should have minded my own damn business.

  “Why did she even come? Liam, you need to clean up your mess and get it together. An alpha doesn’t have mistresses. We’ll be finding you a mate first thing.”

  Jamie sucked in a breath as she tried to pull me along, but I locked my legs once again and waited for Liam’s reply.

  “That’s enough, Mother. Taya is not a mess to be cleaned up. She is Liam’s mate.” Aiden’s voice was full of frustration, sounding similar to what I had brewing inside me.

  “Is this true, Liam?” She ground out the words with rage.

  Before I could hear his answer, someone came around the corner and outed us.

  “What are you two doing?” the man demanded.

  The deep voice made me jump, but Jamie was the first to react.

  “We’re looking for the kitchen or Addie. I’m Caleb’s mate. Can you show us the way?”

  At the mention of Caleb, the young man straightened his shoulders and softened his hard state. “Of course. Right this way.”

  I took a
quick glance back, just in time to make eye contact with Liam as he was staring out the door at us, but he didn’t follow, and I didn’t say anything. I had no doubt my face portrayed everything he needed to know. Jamie held on tightly to my hand, and I let her lead me away. I hadn’t heard Liam’s response, but maybe it was for the best. And just maybe, there was no happily ever after for us.

  Chapter 3

  I paced the kitchen as Jamie ate her food. I was no longer able to think about food. I was twisted up in knots on the inside. Yes, I knew leaving Liam here was the right thing to do, but it didn’t lessen the agony storming within. Now that the decision had been made, I was ready to disappear. Sitting around the house without Liam by my side was slowly killing me.

  "You're giving me a headache," Jamie complained. "Will you sit down?"

  I rolled my eyes at her. "No, hurry up and eat, so we can go back to our room. I need to book my flight for tomorrow."

  "Sure. Whatever you think is best."

  She was placating me, but I didn't care. The woman was lucky I adored her. If it had been anyone else, I might have thrown something at them.

  Jamie finished her meal right as Addie skipped back into the kitchen. She had been in there when we arrived but given us some space, which I appreciated, because she was far too happy for my current mood.

  She had a pixie cut, and her brown hair spiked out at the ends. Her smile was wide and inviting, but I didn't have the energy to pretend to be happy around her.

  Her smile dimmed when she noticed my food was untouched. "Was the food okay?"

  I nodded. "Of course, just not as hungry as I thought I was. Thank you for making it. Sorry I wasted it."

  She tsked. "Not to worry, Taya. I'm just not used to food being left over. The shifters around here usually never leave a crumb behind." She laughed, and the sound was like bells.

  I smiled back at her. I couldn't help it. Her energy was contagious.

  Jamie pushed back from the counter. "Thank you, Addie. We're going to head back to our room for the night. We'll see you in the morning."

  "Certainly. I have breakfast ready by six each morning. Any special requests?"

  "Whatever you already have planned will be perfect," Jamie said.

  Jamie and I left the kitchen, and a shadow of gloom covered me again. Addie really had some positive juju going on. She and Augie would have gotten along swimmingly.

  Thinking of him made me miss home. Miss how things were before Cord died and I met Liam. My life hadn't been perfect, but I was content. I knew what to expect out of my days and I was happy with that. Now, everything was screwed up. My heart hurt worse than it ever had, and I had no idea what the future was going to bring me. I didn't like it.

  Jamie looped her arm through mine as we got closer to the office. I really wished I knew of another route to the room, but I was afraid we'd get lost in the labyrinth of a house. Thankfully, when we passed the room, the door was open, but nobody was in there. The only bad part about that was that I would likely have to face Liam now, assuming Caleb told him of my intentions to leave.

  "You ready to talk about it yet?" Jamie asked.

  I shook my head. "There's nothing to say."

  "You're a pain in the ass, you know that?"

  I grinned. "Augie has told me that my whole life. No sense in trying to change now."

  "You're also insufferable. Just know… even if you leave tomorrow, I'm only a phone call away. No matter what happens, we're still friends. If you blow me off, I'll come back to Oregon and use your fighting skills against you."

  I laughed for the first time in over twenty-four hours. Jamie was good for me.

  "Thank you. I needed that. Don't worry, you're stuck with me for life. Remember, besties before testes."

  Now it was her turn to laugh. "That was some quick thinking on my part that day. Poor Caleb hadn't known what hit him."

  When we arrived back in the room, I was shocked to see Sera sitting on the bed. Her red and swollen eyes were the first thing I noticed, followed by her fidgeting hands. She stood when she noticed us walk into the room.

  Her stare focused on me. “Could you spare me a moment of your time?”

  Jamie nudged me before I could respond. "I'm going to go find Caleb and give the two of you some privacy."

  "He's out front with his brothers," Sera said. "I told him I would send you his way when I saw you."

  Jamie nodded and backed out of the door, closing it behind her. My heart was pounding and hands were shaking. I stood there like an idiot, unsure of what to do next.

  "Please, have a seat." Sera patted the spot next to her on the bed.

  I operated on auto-pilot and followed her directions. I sat on the bed, putting as much space between us as possible. She was being nice, but I couldn’t be sure it wasn’t just a show after the cruel words I’d heard earlier.

  "Taya, I'm so sorry. I know you have plenty of reasons not to, but I hope you'll be able to find in your heart to forgive me for the unforgivable words I said about you."

  What the what? I didn't know what to say to her. I just sat there staring at her with a blank expression on my face.

  She cleared her throat. "I feel like the worst person in the world. Please, understand it was the grief talking, and if Liam had just told me, I would have welcomed you just the same as I had Jamie. Nothing makes me happier than to see my boys finally settling down. You have no idea the hell they've put me through since they found out girls were something to be admired."

  I cracked a small smile. "I can imagine.”

  I wasn’t sure what she expected me to say, but before things got awkward, she continued.

  "Liam has always been closest to me, but it also meant he’s never wanted to hurt me. My sweet boy thought he was protecting me by not telling me about you, but in reality, it was only hurting all of us. I smacked him silly when Aiden said you were Liam's mate. I expect you to give him hell eventually, but even though I have no right to ask for any favors, please, take it easy on him."

  I nodded. "I won't lie. He broke my heart with how he treated me, as did your words, but I’ve come to a realization. You and your pack need him. Now is not the time for us to be putting romance before the safety of our packs. I am leaving tomorrow to head back to Oregon. Declan is still out there, and I need to be with my father and our pack.”

  She opened her mouth to say something, but I held my hand up to finish.

  "I had told Liam us being together wouldn't work for many reasons. I knew from the start there was a chance we wouldn’t be able to stay in a relationship. We each have too many responsibilities to our packs, and neither of us should have to choose the other over our family."

  Sera let out a deep sigh, reaching for my hand. "Oh, child. We've all made a mess of things, but if the two of you are truly mates, then you’ll find a way to make it work. I won’t stand in the way, even if it means my son moving to Oregon. I know we don't know each other at all, but I hope you believe my words and we can become close one day. I asked Liam to let me speak with you first, but it's time you saw him. Do you mind if I send him in here?"

  "I think that's probably a good idea."

  She tugged my hand as she stood, and I followed her movements. Her arms wrapped me in a hug I wasn't expecting. She was a completely different person than the one who greeted us at the airstrip and the one whose harsh words broke my heart earlier today.

  She’d given me a lot to think about. I’d try to take all of her words into consideration, though I’d make no promises. I could forgive easily, but I couldn’t forget as quickly.

  I returned her hug and held back the emotional outburst that so desperately wanted to come out. She was everything I pictured in the mother I had never known. Yes, Sera had been awful earlier, but I appreciated as soon as she had all the information, she owned it and apologized. I respected that.

  Her hug was almost therapeutic, making me hesitant to let go, but we eventually pulled apart and she left the room. I sat bac
k on the bed and placed my hands on my head. I might have thought things were screwed up before, but after the conversation with Sera, I was even more confused.

  Regardless of Sera’s acceptance, I knew the right thing to do was to go home, but would Liam hate me for it? Or would he understand and agree with my decision? The hard part was not knowing which would be worse.

  My instinct when things got rough – like in my current situation – was to shift and run. Life made more sense in my wolf form. It was easier. Being a human was messy and frustrating.

  Before I could dwell on it for too long, Liam opened the door and walked in. He didn't make eye contact with me, nor did he say anything. He walked toward me with his eyes on the ground.

  I couldn't take the pain that radiated from him. I slid off the bed and met him in the middle of the room. I wrapped my arms around him and held him as tightly as I could. His arms found their way around me as his whole body began to shake.

  I rubbed my hands up and down his back as he cried and let it all out. My own tears began to fall as his agony became mine. My wolf howled within me and we decided right then, there was no way I could leave Liam tomorrow.

  I had been so sure of my choice before, but seeing him this way… I couldn’t live with myself if I left him in his current state. No matter how much he had hurt me, he needed me, and I wouldn't abandon him, even though I was still angry with him. Just as he had once forced his way into my life, I’d make sure he let me in now.

  Minutes later, he pulled back and wiped at his face. "I'm so fucking sorry, Taya."

  I hushed him. "It's okay."

  "No, it's not. I was a dick, and you deserve so much better than that. At first, I didn't know how to handle everything I was feeling from the pack. It was overwhelming, and I pushed you away. Then, when I saw my mom and how much she was falling apart, I couldn't stand the thought of causing her more pain. I should have spoken to you about it. If I could go back and do it all differently, I would.”

  “I’m not going to say it’s fine, because it wasn’t, and if you ever do something like that again, you’ll be missing body parts. But, I do understand. I came to the conclusion earlier that I was going to leave and head back to Oregon–”