“Have you any idea how long I have waited for those words?” She grinned and tears welled in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, baby,” was all I could offer.
“You look exhausted,” she said, brushing her tears from her cheeks.
“You look gorgeous,” I countered.
“Can we nap?” she asked, her eyes searching my face.
“After all those years, we’re finally doing this, and you want to nap?”
“Yeah, I do. I don’t want this to be a strip down, knock out fuck session between us, Gray. If we’re going to work this out I want to take it slowly this time. Do things properly.”
Can’t say I wasn’t disappointed because as tired as I was, I’d have given my all to have her in my bed, but I understood her caution.
“I want you in my bed at the very least. We can take that nap you want.”
“Sure. I’ll be keeping my clothes on though,” she informed me with a wink.
“Damn, you were better fun in college, baby,” I teased.
“I’m not fun anymore. I’m the serious woman who doesn’t get fucked and left by text these days,” she said, reminding me yet again of my horrible exit.
“Am I ever going to be forgiven for that?”
“Depends how hard you try with me from now on.”
“Oh I’ll definitely be hard…I mean trying hard in you…I mean with you from here on out.”
“It’s no joking matter, Gray,” she scowled.
“Who’s joking?” I asked then saw she didn’t appreciate my sense of humor. “Sorry, you’re right. I will do everything I’m capable of to show you what you mean to me.” I said, truthfully.
“Well, can we start with that nap? I’m excited to be here with you and I want to enjoy it, but I’m dead on my feet.”
“Sure, let me show you to my bedroom,” I offered, and pulled her to her feet. In normal circumstances, I’d have been all over her maybe trying to persuade her into a different outcome, but I was exhausted as well. I’d flown five hours forward, spent half a day leaving the airport and traveled to the cottage to meet my mother. Afterwards I’d hit the ground running for the last flight back from the UK to New York. It was still only a little after lunch, but I’d been on the go for over twenty-four hours.
After discarding my jacket, I pulled my T-shirt over my head, put my hand on my belt then thought twice about removing my jeans. “Is it okay if I…” Nodding at my jeans to Hettie I saw her eyes flick to my groin then back to my face.
“Yeah, but don’t poke it at me,” she grinned. I had gone commando and wasn’t worried about letting her see me. I just didn’t want her to think I was going to hump her right then and there.
As I began to unbuckle my belt she toed off her shoes and climbed onto the mattress. “Plush bed,” she remarked, curling onto her side, facing away from me.
“You bet. You know how often we have to sleep on a four-inch mattress on a cabin bunk?”
“Ouch, I bet that hurts after a few days.”
“I’m not going to confirm that, not when I want you with me.” I answered as I lifted the comforter and slid under it. “Are you not gonna come under the cover and snuggle up?”
“Nope, tired as I am, I don’t trust myself not to jump you,” she said, snickering.
“Well, that’s supposing I’d let you jump me, and I’m tired…I may well resist.”
“Gray, if I don’t trust myself I’m definitely not trusting you,” she warned, but her voice had a hint of humor.
“All right, well can you just come a bit closer so I can smell your hair at least?”
“Freak,” she teased, edging her way nearer. Lifting my arm from under the cover I wrapped it around her waist and dragged her closer. Inhaling deeply, the same awesome scent I’d remembered about her filled my nostrils. At first when I held her my heart pounded with excitement but after a couple of minutes her warmth settled me. I felt so relaxed. I tucked my fingers under her body to keep her in place. Tiredness then washed over me and couldn’t keep my eyes open and I drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 34
Acceptance ~ Hettie
I was still lying in the same position as when I’d fallen asleep in Gray’s bed. He snored softly with his arm firmly around my waist, his bare leg slung over my hips. When I looked over my shoulder all that was between me and his naked body were my clothing and some bunched up comforter. His body was half in, half out of the bed sheets and I could see his back and ass in the mirror. I stared at his beautiful image and my chest tightened with excitement.
Lying beside him with butterflies fluttering in my stomach, I still struggled with my acceptance we were finally together. Gray wasn’t the college boy I’d fallen in love with, he was a renowned rock star with a worldwide audience, and from the women I’d seen him pictured with, I couldn’t understand why he’d chosen me. But we had history. I knew him before all the songs and the fans, and I knew I had to be confident and accept it was because he loved me.
If someone had told me Gray Dennison would wander back into my life and want me above every other woman on the planet, I’d have said they were crazy. One look at the man was enough to make any girl wet. He exuded the kind of raw, sexual energy that women found irresistible. Back in college a simple gesture from him, like if he held a door open for someone or smiled when he said thank you, made girls swoon. He had the same effect on me and my stomach clenched whenever I thought how he used to make me feel in bed.
Turning my head back, I closed my eyes and remembered the first time I’d met him. I knew he was someone who didn’t love easily but he was too easy to love. My mom would have called him too hard to handle. Too hard to tame. When he singled me out for attention the first time we met, I swear I thought he must have drunk too much. It had been an ordinary Thursday before he walked into my life. As poor as students are, we spent our nights out making beach bonfires and entertaining ourselves in the cheapest ways possible, usually involving six packs, chips, and drinking games.
A guy who could play the guitar was instantly more attractive than one who couldn’t, but when Gray showed up with his, everything else stopped. Everything. Personally, I no longer heard the waves rolling in, lapping at the shoreline; or noticed the fire embers that rose silently, even the fire crackling was no longer audible. Right there in the dark with only the glow of the fire as light, I could see he was something else entirely.
Sitting by the campfire shooting the breeze, always felt great, but of course, we weren’t supposed to set fires. However, as students we felt we’d earned our little slot of rebellion before we moved forward to being the responsible adults, society expected us to be.
That Thursday night was no different from the eight or nine our crowd had had down there on the beach, apart from when Saunders Rush turned up, recognized me, and caught me up in his huge, muscular arms. He swung me around, delighted at reconnecting with me.
Saunders had moved from Kansas to Miami during the last year of high school. As we were both science geeks we became instant friends. I was sad when he won a scholarship to a college up North, and after three years, I was so caught up in my own studies I had no idea he’d transferred back to Miami to finish his master’s degree at home.
Once he’d stopped hooting and hollering about seeing me, he turned and gestured his head in my direction to a guy who’d been standing in the shadows. When Gray stepped forward, Saunders had ceased to exist.
Staring intensely at me was a stunningly handsome guy. Even in the dark I could see that. Tall, fair hair, with piercing eyes that sparkled in the glow of the fire, and a smile that gave me a head rush. There was something different with him. I mean he wore jeans, a tight tee, and a pair of chucks, but to me, he didn’t look the same as any other guy. He was the kind that commanded attention and when I managed to tear my eyes away from his face for a second, I saw his strong hand wrapped around the neck of his huge acoustic guitar. My heart melted right
there and then…along with my panties.
Trust me, I had tried to play it cool, but my heart fluttered and juddered around in my chest while my breathy voice made me sound like a monosyllabic lunatic who’d never seen an attractive guy before. Gray was really that special. Somehow, I babbled my way through the introductions, and he stood completely passive, staring me out with a sexy as hell smirk on his face.
Once we settled around the fire, he wasn’t shy in sharing his talent. He oozed confidence as he sang a few covers of songs that were classics. Some I already liked and some I thought I didn’t until I’d heard him sing them. As the night wore on I didn’t want it to end because I thought I probably wouldn’t see him again.
As I listened I was mesmerized by his ability, looks and the sound of his voice. A few times we had an intense connection and he stared at me. I held his gaze, unable to look away, and I felt like he sang only for me, but seconds later the moment was broken and he focused on someone else. All I could do was watch and listen. I was so drawn to him and felt sad I had nothing to offer a guy like him. I wasn’t unattractive, but most guys didn’t find us scientific, studious types sexy.
Unlike me, Lianna Braun, a tall, loud girl, who was also captain of the college cheerleading team, began showing off to get his attention. She stood in front of him swaying her hips and her hair like she was auditioning as an extra at a hippy festival. She made me feel angry as a woman because she made an ass of herself by prancing around in front of a guy. I wondered how we women were ever going to be regarded as equals while there were women like her out there who would jiggle their tits and ass to snag a man.
If someone liked me, they liked me, end of story. I figured no amount of wiggling my ass or fawning over them was going to make a lightbulb go off in their head that said ‘she’s the one’. With that in mind, I sat minding my own business and tried to ignore the irritatingly obnoxious display Lianna made of herself in her attempt to be noticed.
When he finished the last song, he stood up and gave a little bow. Everyone went mad, whistling and cheering his awesome performance. Lianna lunged at him, flung her arms around his neck and hugged him. She was all over him. I almost threw up, and literally rolled my eyes when I got tired of her pathetic routine to monopolize his time. As my eyes settled back on the scene, Gray was staring directly at me and smirked knowingly in a ‘don’t think I don’t know what she’s doing’ kind of way.
Next thing I knew he’d peeled her arms free of him and strode over, squeezing himself between Saunders and me. “So…did you like what I did with the Dylan acoustic?”
“Yeah, I did. Your voice suited it and I liked the stripped version.”
“Stripped version? Sounds interesting,” he said, flirting with me and flashing a sexy grin.
It was all I could do to stop myself from squirming where I sat. I’d never been so attracted to anyone in my life as I was to him. As it turned out, once we started talking we just didn’t stop. No topic was off the cards as we chatted about everything from music, politics, science theories, and eventually sex.
One thing became apparent, we couldn’t resist touching each other. Reaching out absentmindedly he brushed a few grains of sand off my knee like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do, and I tapped his hand more than once in agreement with what he said, or to get his attention. As the night ended he simply took my hand, laced our fingers together, and asked if he could take me home. He didn’t let go until we reached my dorm room and after that it was a frantic strip between us to get naked. I had never slept with a guy casually—although I wasn’t a virgin—but Gray made me want to do things I’d never done with any other boy before.
Gray’s cell rang on the nightstand, drawing me out of my reverie as he lifted his leg to roll away from me and answered.
“Yeah?” he croaked.
“Yeah. Okay, yeah, gotcha. A week Sunday…sure I’m listening. I said I’ll be there.” He sounded impatient with whoever was on the phone. I rolled over to face him just as he dropped the phone to the bed and rolled back to look at me. The first thing I noticed was the cross on his neck was gone. He’d mentioned once his mother had left it to him back in college. I figured it was a significant move in his behalf that he’d taken it off.
“Hello, beautiful,” his face morphed from a frown to a sleepy, lopsided smile. I loved the sleepy, just awake Gray. His super sexy appearance of messy hair and stubble made me lick my lips. I really wanted to kiss him.
“Do it,” he prompted me with a smirk.
“Do…what?”
“Kiss me.”
“What makes you—” Before I could argue further, Gray flipped me onto my back, wrestled his way out of the tangled comforter, and pressed his hard arousal against me.
“Do you feel that, Hettie? Do you feel me… do you know how much I want you? If my dick had audio it would be screaming for you in surround sound.” His analogy made me giggle.
“Are you wet? Can I feel you?”
“Gray…no I need to shower, I’ve been sleeping in my—”
“Fuck that, I don’t care. I want to taste you, let me—” I slapped my hand over his and dug my nails in.
“I said, no. Not like this. Let me shower at least,” I reasoned.
“Then we’ll both shower. Come on, get up,” he said hurriedly, pulling me to the edge of the bed and tossing me over his shoulder. “I’m going to lather you,” he warned.
“And I’m going to leather you if you don’t put me down,” I countered.
“Leather me? You mean with your belt? Sounds interesting,” he answered with a smile in his voice as he carried me to the bathroom with my head hanging upside down.
“What happened to taking it slow, Gray?”
“I did. You have no idea what it’s like trying to sleep with wood, three hours is slow enough. I’ve waited a long time for this. Don’t make me wait any longer.”
Entering his bathroom, he placed me down on the floor and tugged at my sweater. “How can you sleep in a woolen sweater?” He smirked then stripped me out of it.
“And these,” he said, turning me around to face the mirror unbuttoning my jeans. Slowly, he ticked the zipper down and let the material go, one hand grabbed my breast through my blue lacy bra and his other slid smoothly down my flat stomach and right into the thong I wore. A ripple of excitement and pleasure spread through me. His finger found my nub instantly and my body shuddered with sensation as fresh juices trickled into the lace between my legs.
“Now that’s the Hettie I fell in love with,” he said, and my heart flipped over.
“Look at you, look at your eyes. See how desperate you look? How can I not fill you up when you look at me that way?”
Glancing in the mirror my eyes were half closed, my jaw slack, and my hair tousled from sleep.
“Fucking perfect,” Gray muttered as his fingers slid through my slick, wet slit. One began to circle me gently at my entrance.
“You want me to slip it in, Hettie? You want my finger deep in you?” he asked, as his thumb took over my clitoris in lazy circles. Goosebumps covered every part of me as his hand left my breast to sweep the hair away from my neck.
“Fuck me! You are so beautiful. I never thought we’d be doing this again,” he whispered, huskily.
I stood there speechless; his hands and mouth controlling every cell in my body until he pulled away and the drunken feeling of lust I had dissipated instantly.
“Take off your jeans,” he commanded, as he leaned back against the vanity countertop with his arms folded.
Without taking my eyes from his, I began to slip them down my legs. Gray put his index and middle fingers into his mouth and sucked as he watched me strip to my thong. His dirty move made my pussy clench again.
“Now that,” he said pointing at my thong.
I slid it down and stepped out of it. “Give it to me,” he demanded and held out his hand.
Bending to pick it
up off the floor I felt a little embarrassed, but passed it to him. I was fully aware of how wet it was after he’d played with my pussy.
He brought it to his nose and inhaled—not once, but twice.
“I know you don’t like me doing this, Hettie. But you surround me. How you look, sound, taste…and especially how you feel in my arms, on my dick…my face. This is just a way I can have something of you inside me. Inhaling your scent touches my head and my heart at the same time. It enhances what I see, hear, and how I feel whenever I touch and taste you. You get me?”
I nodded slowly. I knew it wasn’t easy for Gray to identify and connect with feelings, but he’d thought deeply about it, and had vocalized it to the best of his ability. It told me it wasn’t just a physical relationship he wanted. Sharing his deeper feelings made me realize he really did love me.
Gray stepped into the shower and instantly pulled me along with him. Hitting the faucet on the wall, the massive showerhead sprayed fine jets of water mist for a few seconds before the full effect of the shower took hold. A forceful spray beat down on my head and Gray tugged me closer until my cheek rested on his wet chest. His heartbeat was fast, steady and excited as his hands trailed down my back reacquainting themselves with my skin.
“How perfect does this feel?” he asked, his voice gruff and affected by the quiet moment between us.
“Incredible.” I stated honestly.
“Is that all? I was thinking more…fantastic, amazing, magnificent, and maybe even surreal…magical.”
I laughed at his descriptions as I looked up at him and his smile dropped, an intent look bored into my eyes, the heat of the moment completely overpowering the both of us. Gray looked like a man fighting hard to restrain himself.
“Kiss me,” I demanded, but my breath was wistful and breathy, not forceful like I’d imagined in my head.
“With pleasure, beautiful lady,” he said slowly, as he shook his head like he didn’t believe I was there in the moment with him.
Notes On Love Page 31