Gray’s kiss was demanding, our tongues tangling recklessly with one another until he slowly moved me around and pushed me back against the wall. He pressed his ridged cock hard against my belly, as his hands roamed up and down my sides.
“Oh God, Hettie, this…with you, is all I want in life,” he confessed. His hands skimmed up my arms to my head and he held it between them. “What do you say? Are you with me?”
What else could I say? I’d never felt truly whole since the day he left back in college. That boy had been hot, the man was ten times better. “You have me at an unfair advantage here. I’m wet and waiting. What do you think I’m gonna say? Of course I am. I’m scared, Gray, but I’m yours.”
Chapter 35
Weird ~ Gray.
When I heard her say, I’m yours, my chest expanded and almost burst with a sudden rush of feelings. My instinct was to show her how I felt about that right there against the wall, but I knew that was not how I wanted her to remember the moment. I stepped back and looked at her, dropping my hands by my sides. “I’m not fucking you against stone tiling after that admission, Hettie. I know I’ve never been romantic, but I want to mark the day…let me take care of you,” I told her with a wide grin of appreciation as I reached for the body wash.
Soaping up the clean washcloth my housekeeper had left, I foamed the suds all over her breasts, down her belly to her hips and legs. After I’d paid attention to her front I turned her around and started on her back, dropping the cloth to the floor once I’d smoothed the foamy bubbles all over her buttocks. Replacing the washcloth with my hands I smoothed the suds the length of her back, over her shoulders and swept my hands around to hold her breasts.
Leaning my chin on her shoulder, I spoke as she turned to look at me, “I’m gonna love you like no one else ever could.”
“Show me,” she whispered as the water washed the last of the soap from her body and she turned to face me. Dipping my knees, I bent and picked her up. I cradled her in my arms and walked back into the bedroom. She hugged my neck as her head leaned on my shoulder in return. She felt soft and slippery, her wet skin sliding against mine.
When I walked into the room I had a clear view of the bed, and a boner that would have cracked steel if I’d knocked against it. Placing her gently on the bed she began to protest she was wet, but I grinned widely. “Good, then I can cut to the chase.”
Hettie gave me a naughty grin. “Am I really doing this?”
“Too late to back out now, I heard you back there…you’re mine, remember? Don’t stress, I’ve got you,” I said as my voice became serious.
I loved her for trying to make what was happening between us feel relaxed because that wasn’t at all how we affected each other. The chemistry between us was almost animalistic. The only thing that held me back was how I had treated her in the past and how I wanted to make sure the moment was one she’d look back on as a defining one. “You gonna marry me?” I blurted out.
Gazing up at me with half-closed, lust-filled eyes they suddenly widened and I could see how shocking my question was to her. “No one goes from nothing to everything like that, Gray. Getting married is a huge decision.”
“What’s to decide? You either want me or you don’t. Can you live without me? Because I don’t ever want to contemplate the rest of my life without you. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything else in life and if I let you go again, I couldn’t live with myself.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, you can ask me anything, baby.”
“Why did you really leave me like that?”
“In college you mean? Because if I’d stayed I guess I you’d woken up beforehand I’d never have had the willpower to leave. Like I said, Hettie, I was screwed up. I’m not that guy anymore. I’m never gonna leave you like that again…ever.”
She bit her lip, her nerves holding her back, but the joy in her eyes from my answer made them shine. Hettie wanted to say yes, I could tell that from every emotion that flitted over her face.
“Are you sure it’s me you want?”
“Absolutely. Did you ever think I’d ask anyone that question? I know I didn’t…then there you were. Of course I’m sure.”
“Then this has to be the weirdest proposal I never saw coming.”
“Oh, you didn’t? I’ve been planning it for ages. Step one, get her naked and vulnerable; step two, wait until she’s gagging for it; step three, propose when she’s horny, she’ll say yes to anything…beg even. It’s in the wicked men’s proposal manual,” I said with a smirk.
When she began to laugh, I knew she was less shocked by my question. “Seriously, Hettie, do I need to wear a suit, take you to dinner and have David Garratt play violin at the table…want me to serenade you with a million love songs before you’ll agree to be my wife?”
“A million love songs would just about crack my resolve,” she replied with a cheeky smirk.
“All right, let me see…” I said, trying to think of some. I sang the words of “Amazed” by Lonestar after a few false starts of songs where the words didn’t quite fit the sentiment of the moment. Her eyes filled with tears. “Stop, baby, don’t cry, I never meant—”
Grabbing both sides of my face, she pulled my head down, my mouth meeting hers. Salty tears mingled with the saliva on our tongues as she broke the kiss a little breathlessly and whispered, “Yes. Yes.”
Instantly my heart felt tight, but in a good way. Like it was full and there was no more room for doubt. There were no more thoughts, only emotions spreading through me. Some were feelings I had experienced a little before—maybe all of them in one way or another—but never all at once, and never in such a rush.
I gently pushed her head back against the mattress, cocooning it in my arms. Using one knee I pushed a leg wide and settled between her thighs when she automatically moved the other. “Now, I have everything,” I confessed, a wide smile breaking across my face.
Looking up at me like I’d just invented the five second orgasm, Hettie bit her lip, her desire clear on her face. “What exactly is everything?”
“Pinning my fiancée to my bed as my cock nudges her entrance.”
“Then I don’t have everything,” she said frowning.
“What do you mean?”
“If the best you can do is nudge me with that wet tip, I figure I’ll take my chances elsewhere,” she teased, and giggled.
In a heartbeat I rose to her challenge when I tilted my hips forward and eased myself smoothly into her pussy. Hettie gasped, an erotic moan escaped her lips, surprise lighting her eyes as her pupils increased.
“Better?” I asked, smirking because I’d caught her by surprise.
“A little,” she answered, tormenting me.
“How about this?” I asked as I began rocking into her slowly.
“Mmm, you’re learning,” she goaded.
Pulling back, I dropped my forehead to hers, my cock poised to take her again, and from that point on there wasn’t a single word that came out of her mouth that wasn’t praise for how I made her feel. I’d wanted to take her slowly, to worship her, but the animal inside begged to be set free. I couldn’t deny the feeling because just looking at her staring up adoringly at me made me lose control.
An hour later, the jetlag had returned and we lay breathless on the bed. She laid her head on my chest and drew small circles on my skin while I drifted in and out of a light sleep. It had taken me a long time to get to that point with Hettie, but once I had, all I felt was peace.
****
Around 9:00 pm we were hungry, but I hadn’t reserved anywhere for dinner, so we called for some takeout and settled down at the table beside my huge windows to watch the boats floating by on the river.
“It’s an amazing apartment,” Hettie said as she stared out at the scenery.
“It is. Come and live here with me? I mean will you?”
“Can I have a few days to get my head around
all that we’ve talked about? I don’t want to keep agreeing to things and then realize I’m not happy about something. It’s a huge sacrifice I’m making.”
“Sure. I understand it’s a massive change and I don’t blame you for how I’ve been with you in the past, but while you’re thinking, would you think about coming to London with me next week? It’s job related, although not a gig, but I have to go all the same.”
“That’s what the phone call was about?”
“Yeah. It’s something I need to do in person, and if I had been aware of it before I may have stayed there and dealt with it before I came back.”
“You want me to come with you? The timing is great because school breaks up on Friday for vacation. I’d love to go with you, but I don’t have a passport. I’ve never been outside the US before. I need to go back to Miami tomorrow and see the week out though, I have a responsibility to my students.”
“I’ll ring my PA and see what they can do to help with your passport. They’ll need all your papers: birth certificate, ID card, driver’s license to fill in the forms. They’ll advise you what to do after that,” I said, listing all the requirements.
“Can I know what you’re going back for?”
“Nope, you’ll see if you come with me,” I answered, with an air of mystery.
****
When Hettie flew home the next day, I felt lost. We spent an angsty few minutes at security before she had to leave or she’d miss her flight. The last thing I wanted to do was go home alone so I went to hang out with Brody and Dana. My relationship with Dana was still strained and if the Midwest tour had been anything to go by, I knew I’d have to try to clear the air between us, especially now that Hettie was about to be with me. The last thing the band, or us as a couple, needed was any hostility toward Hettie from Phoebe’s best friend.
Relations were awkward all round with the way Dana had behaved toward me since we’d been back in the US. Add Hettie to that and it really wasn’t conducive to us all sharing a bus together for a week at a time. Brody had gotten to the point where he wouldn’t discuss how I’d behaved toward Phoebe with her. I had to accept that apart from Brody and B, no one else would be able to understand why I behaved the way I did with women. And Dana couldn’t understand what it meant to be someone like me whose emotions were closed off like that. I must have appeared very selfish with how I had been with Phoebe, but until I’d worked through my issues I hadn’t been aware of what I’d felt or how to behave with the feelings I didn’t recognize.
Opening the door to their apartment, Dana looked at me, chewed her lip then shoved up her sleeves. She rolled her eyes and turned before she walked down her hallway without any verbal acknowledgment. Brody jumped to his feet at lightning speed when he saw me, closing the space between us and hugging me tight. Dana shook her head, and rolled her eyes again like she could barely tolerate me being there.
Glancing at Brody, she sighed, “I’ll be in the bedroom if you—”
“Stay. It’s you I’ve come to talk to. I wanted to speak with both of you, but especially with you, Dana. Please, hear me out.”
Dana began to shake her head but Brody stepped forward and slid an arm around her shoulder. “Dana, you can’t go on hating Gray for not being in love with Phoebe for the rest of your life. Maybe you could just hear the guy out and perhaps you’ll understand him a little bit more.”
“I know what you told me, Brody. I’m sorry that happened to you, Gray, but you really screwed Phoebe over.”
“I’m well aware of what I did and no one is sorrier than I am, Dana. I was seriously trying to be with her. And by doing that I learned I can’t be in love with the idea of being in love. Phoebe was an idea, I know that now.” A frank discussion about everything I’d been through ensued, and although I had been keeping things close to my chest it was clear Brody had been sharing most of what I’d told him with his wife.
Once we’d cleared the air, Dana knew that although I hadn’t gone about it in the right way, I had done the right thing in not stringing it out with her friend. Phoebe deserved better. It was then I disclosed my intentions about Hettie and what that meant for us all going forward. I half expected another lecture from Brody about taking my time, but the way he reacted was another surprise.
“There you go…what did I tell you? When you know, you know.”
Dana’s reaction was more cautious. “Gray, it’s only been a couple of months since you and—”
“Honey,” Brody warned. “I have never heard Gray say he wanted a woman as much as I know he wants Hettie. Seeing them at his place yesterday; the way they looked at each other…there is no doubt he’s in love.”
“And Hettie? Sure, she’ll love him; he’s a hot rock star.”
“That has nothing to do with it. She loved him long before he was famous. The woman is head over heels for Gray. Her spontaneous reaction and concern when she saw him yesterday was all the evidence if I had ever needed it to be convinced. And anyway, how long was our courtship?” he asked, winking at her.
“We never had a courtship, Brody, it was more of a fuck fest to wedding bells situation.”
“Exactly, because we knew, right?” Dana couldn’t argue with his reasoning given their whirlwind romance.
Watching them discuss whether or not they approved of what I’d decided was one thing I wasn’t going to tolerate. It was my life and Hettie’s, not theirs. Even though Dana was important to me because she was Brody’s wife, I wasn’t prepared to seek her permission to live it.
“To be honest, I don’t give a fuck what you think, Dana. I only came here to try to smooth the waters because you’re my best mate’s wife. This is my life, not yours, and I won’t tolerate you being less than cordial toward my woman once she’s with me. The band is our business, not yours, and if you don’t want to deal with Hettie, there’s always the option for you to stay home.”
Dana had worked herself into a privileged position as Brody’s wife and I was glad to see that Brody never defended her feelings. She looked to him expecting support but he remained silent, knowing I’d probably have given her a stronger version of my thoughts had she not been who she was.
My only reason for being there was to negate any potential hostility toward Hettie once she joined us. Having everyone living in harmony was better than feuds building up. Brody and I had been friends forever, and I valued that dearly. I knew we’d be fine no matter what. Dana was a vocal woman, but if she thought for one moment she’d be able to keep Hettie in place, she would learn quickly that Hettie was used to dealing with petulant teenagers and was more than a match for anything Dana slung her way. Dana stared pointedly, nodded and walked away.
Chapter 36
Momentum ~ Hettie
Considering everything I’d been through with Harris and Gray over the years, I should have been scared to walk away from the security of my career, and from leaving behind my mom and my sister to follow my heart. I was scared, or maybe that was too strong a word, I felt apprehensive about my future with Gray. I’d never lived anywhere else than Miami and suddenly I’d thrown caution to the wind, packed up, and was headed North to New York to follow the man of my dreams.
How my complex, tortured soul, Gray looked on the outside was as close to male perfection as I’d ever found. He was hard to resist and appeared to be every woman’s type. I’m pretty sure the majority of women saw what I saw, a charismatic good-looking guy who was extremely talented. He gave the impression he needed no one and it was that untamable aura that made him even more attractive. Add to that his amazing singing voice and musical ability, and he was a definite Rock God, even if he didn’t behave like one.
With Gray’s gift of music and the way he looked, he held thousands of peoples’ attention in his hands when he performed. Most of all, he wasn’t pretentious or boastful, he was quite unassuming for a lead singer once out of the spotlight.
On stage, he was paid to show off. Off stage, Gray never
had to perform. His natural presence and ability to make people feel he was interested in them earned him the hearts of women the world over. If that didn’t do it, his sexy as all hell smile snared them.
Until the last few weeks I hadn’t really known the difficulties he’d faced and how they’d affected his ability to love. Once I understood everything he’d gone through it gave me more confidence to know that I’d done the right thing in agreeing to be with him. At least I knew he wasn’t a man who loved lightly.
As I stepped off the plane at JFK I found a limousine service waiting on the tarmac. I’ll admit I felt like a movie starlet as I slid onto the back seat of a luxury car after flying first class, even if I found the way I was fawned over a little embarrassing.
I fully understood why Gray had chosen to stay and wait for me at his apartment; the attention he and his band had begun to receive had gathered momentum. I’d seen a couple crazy scenes when they’d appeared in public in the previous week. The attention he got scared me and I felt glad we were dipping out of the limelight in the US, and going to London for a few days.
When we pulled up to the curb outside his apartment building, I saw Gray pacing around inside the entrance looking at his feet, but as if he knew I’d arrived he looked out the glass doors and a huge smile lit up his face. I mirrored the smile even although I was behind the blackout glass of the car. I couldn’t hold my feelings back, as butterflies floated in my belly and my heart squeezed tightly at the sight of him.
When the driver opened my door, I could see Gray was eager to get to me. He restrained himself from coming outside the security doors as some fans who had found out where he lived were keeping vigil about ten feet away. When I reached the entrance he quickly swiped a keycard over a control panel on the wall and the door swung open.
Grabbing me by my open jacket his fist curled around the material as he pulled me hastily inside, and swiped the door closed. As soon as he knew we were safe from the crowd, his hands slid around my waist under my jacket, and he pulled me flush against him. “Damn you smell good, baby,” he whispered, inhaling my scent deeply. We stilled for a moment, both of us basking in the warm closeness we shared. From my perspective, it felt like a dream come true after all the years we’d been apart.
Notes On Love Page 32