Chasing Fireflies

by Paige P. Horne

  “Want a drink?” I ask.

  “Yes,” she says. We make our way over to the bar, and Banner walks up to us with a towel over his shoulder.

  “Hello, you two.”

  “Bartender, give my husband and me two beers on tap, please, sir.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Oh, and can you put some salt on my rim?” she asks so sweetly, and I grin.

  “Only for you, Sara.”

  “Thanks, Banner,” I say as I turn toward my wife. She sways her hips to the music and moves her head side to side in the most carefree way. Nothing is bothering her today, and I send a prayer up to whomever that my girl is happy. It’s written all over her face.

  *

  The night is long, and the girl who hates wearing shoes is barefoot as we walk down the sidewalk. She laughs at my jokes and holds my hand while her other grips her wedges. She’s drunk and giddy. I’m in love and happy.

  “I wish my flowers looked like these,” she says, pointing to the flowers in the park. Her flowers aren’t doing well, but she tries.

  “Maybe Anne can come over and help?”

  “Maybe so,” she says, shrugging.

  *

  We make it home, and I carry my sleeping baby to our bedroom. I lay her in bed and then walk downstairs. Grabbing a beer out of the fridge and twisting the cap off, I head out onto the porch swing. A small breeze moves in from the field, and the old swing softly creaks as I push off with my boots. Crickets sound in the distance, and a night owl hoots from a nearby tree. I sip my beer and rest my arm against the back of the swing. The moonlight shines down on the garden Sara is trying to grow, and I get an idea. Tomorrow, I’m going to make sure my girl has some flowers.

  *

  I stretch my arms and roll over. Sara is still asleep, and I look and see it’s early. My idea crosses my mind, and I quietly slip out of bed.

  I leave a note for Sara and head out to the truck. Jumping in, I start Old Blue and make my way into town. He backfires, and I swear I’m going to get that looked at. I walk into the hardware store and make my way to the back where the flowers are.

  “Hey, Cash.” I look up when I see Mark standing there.

  “Hey, man.”

  “Flower shopping?” he questions.

  “Yeah, Sara isn’t having any luck with her garden, so I figured I’d plant her one already grown.”

  He laughs. “Well, you’ve come to the right place. You’ve got a ton of sun out there, so you need flowers that can’t get enough. Come on over here and we will load you up.”

  *

  I wipe my brow and sit back on my heels. My back is sore from being bent over for an hour and a half, but I’ve got my girl’s flowers planted, and it looks beautiful. I can’t wait to see her face. She’s still sleeping, so I clean up my mess and head inside for a shower. I toss the empty flower containers into the bed of the truck and slip my gloves off.

  SMACK!

  I look toward the house. What the hell was that?

  SMACK!

  I run up onto the porch and grab the handle of the screen door. I cover my mouth to hold back a laugh when I see Sara on top of a chair smacking the fly swatter up against the wall for the third time. She huffs and blows a piece of hair out of her face. The fly swarms around her before he lands back on the wall. The tips of her toes are over the edge of the chair, and she leans over as far as she possibly can. Her tongue darts out, and she draws back before she goes to smack the fly again. I run over just as she falls forward and catch her in my arms.

  “Oh shit.” She laughs loud, and I look down at her smiling face.

  “Thank you, Cash. I’m so sick of these damn flies. I killed two, but that third one wasn’t giving in.”

  “Glad I was here. You would have broken your face.”

  “Possibly,” she says, quickly pressing her lips to mine. “You smell like outside.”

  “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

  “Another one?” She smiles as I put her down.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, let’s see it then.” She puts the bug killer down, and I take her hand and walk out onto the porch. “We need to replace that screen door. There’s a hole in it. That’s how the bugs are getting in.”

  “I’ll get on that.”

  “Also, upstairs I noticed a light was out in the bathroom… Oh, Cash.” She puts her free hand over her mouth and looks from her new garden to me. “Baby, what did you do?” She lets go of my hand, and her long skirt drags the ground. I watch her face as it lights up with wonder. She turns to me. “You did all of this today?”

  “Yes.” I slide my hands into my pockets and bite my lip.

  “It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything so pretty.” I watch her––the light in her eyes, the sun shining through her soft curls, the golden tan she has from lying out with Leigh. Her lips are in a permanent smile.

  “I have,” I tell her. She looks over my face and shakes her head.

  “You amaze me.”

  “I never want to stop doing that.”

  “So don’t,” she says, and I walk closer to her. I take her face in my hands and kiss her lips.

  “I won’t,” I say before I lay her down and show her just how amazing she can be.

  *

  “Baby, remind me to call in my meds tomorrow,” Sara yells to me from downstairs.

  “Will do,” I call back as I remove the baked chicken from the oven. Like Mark, I’m the cook around here. Sara can burn a waffle in the toaster. She walks downstairs and grins.

  “This looks so good. Can I help with anything?”

  “Yeah, grab some plates, two beers, and follow me.” I hear her footsteps when I push the door open, and I set the food down on the outdoor table. Lights are hung above us, and the old record player I bought plays Johnny Cash and June Carter’s “Jackson”.

  “I love this song,” Sara says after she places the plates down. She dances and laughs. I cut some chicken and place it onto our plates.

  “It’s a good one.”

  “June loved John like I love you.” She takes her seat and puts her feet on my lap.

  “John loved June like I love you,” I tell her.

  We eat in silence, just enjoying the light breeze and clear night sky. She sighs as she pushes her plate away.

  “That was so good, baby.”

  “I’m glad you liked it. Now, you’ll have to clean the dishes.” I smile.

  “Gladly,” she says, picking up the plates and walking into the house. I watch her before I grab the other dishes and follow. Elvis plays now, and she turns around and blows soap bubbles my way as his rough voice sings about hound dogs. She laughs when some bubbles get on my nose and I shake my head.

  “Stop,” I tell her as she blows more.

  “Stop?” she questions, throwing more at me.

  “Sara, quit. You’re getting bubbles all over the floor.”

  She grabs the sprayer and turns toward me.

  “Don’t you even think about it.”

  “Did you have a bath today, baby?” she asks, trying to hold in her laugh.

  “Sara,” I warn, slowly backing up.

  She presses down, and water sprays my whole face. I blink my eyes open, and she squeals and drops the sprayer. She takes off running and heads toward the stairs. I run over and shut the water off before I chase her.

  “You’re totally getting soaked,” I yell as I run up the steps. I hear the door shut, and I burst into our bedroom. She’s on the other side of the bed, and I wipe a hand down my face, removing the water and rubbing droplets away from my hair.

  “Cash, I was just playing now. Don’t do anything crazy.” She grins as I walk closer to her.

  “You have nowhere to go, baby. Might as well give in now.”

  “Now, you know better than that.”

  She’s all smiles and hands on her hips. She bites her lip and looks from me to the bed. I walk even closer, and she screams before she jumps onto the mattresses
. I grab her leg, though, and drag her back to me. She wiggles with everything she has, but I’m stronger. I lift her over my shoulder and take her to the bathroom. She playfully slaps my back as I lean down and turn the water on. The showerhead comes on, and I step inside with her.

  “Cash, that’s freezing!” she screams. I slide her down my body, looking at her hard nipples through her white cotton shirt.

  “No bra?” I ask.

  “Well, it’s just you and I.” She looks up at me with those kiss-me eyes, and I look down at her lips before looking back at her blues. “You got me all wet.”

  “I’m about to get you wetter,” I say as I slam my lips to hers. She falls back, but I catch her. Our tongues glide against each other’s, and I slide her skirt down from her hips. I unbutton my soaked jeans and step out of them. She laughs when I almost fall and grabs for my arm. I kick them away and lift her, pressing her back against the tile wall. She moans when I fill her, and her head falls back. I kiss her neck and take her earlobe into my mouth, moving fast and loving the way she sounds when I do it harder. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I pound into her over and over.

  “Cash, oh God.” I sink us to the floor with her on top and I let her take over.

  “Do you love me, Sara?” I ask.

  “Yes,” she breathes heavy as I lift up, rocking into her.

  “Then show me,” I say, throwing her words back at her from our first time. She smiles, and her hands go to her breasts as she moves, and I think I’m the luckiest son of a bitch that ever lived.

  *

  She lies on baby blue cotton sheets as I softly run my fingers over her skin. The curtains sway from the wind coming off the field, and I hear thunder.

  “I hope this rain doesn’t flood my new garden.”

  “I hope it doesn’t either. I’ve already got blisters.” I lift up my hand and show her. She looks over at me.

  “My poor baby,” she says playfully, and I roll my eyes and take my hand back.

  “No, let me kiss them better,” she insists.

  “Nope, you lost your chance.”

  “Cash,” she pouts, and the thunder roars again. She reaches for my hand, and I let her have it. Her lips touch my skin, and I smile over at her. The lights blink, and Sara moves closer. “Where are the candles?” she asks.

  “On the dresser. But we don’t need them.”

  “Why? The lights may go out.”

  “But we’re in the bed.”

  “True. What if I need to go to the bathroom, though?”

  “I’ve got a flashlight in my nightstand. You can put it on your side.”

  “You’re going to let me have your flashlight?” she says, grinning.

  “I’d let you have anything you want if it was always up to me.” I grab her naked behind and pull her on top of me.

  “Will you ever get tired of me?” she asks, moving her curls out of her face. I harden beneath her, and when I move she sucks in air.

  “Never,” I tell her as I move again just to hear her moan.

  “Promise?” she breathes.

  “Promise, promise,” I say as the rain starts to fall outside, and I love her all over.

  Chapter Ten

  Cash

  The wind blows, and I look over at Sara as she rests her eyes. We are lying in the big field on a blanket, and the sun shines down on us. It’s not hot, though. It’s perfect today, and my eyes look at the scar on her wrist. I lightly grab her hand, and she opens her eyes. I press my lips to her scar, and she bunches her brow.

  “Please don’t ever do this again,” I ask her, staring at her blue eyes.

  “I’ll try not to.”

  “I need you to swear it.”

  “I swear.”

  I search her face to see if she believes the lie she just told me. Even I know that’s something she can’t promise. Sometimes people lose the battle of depression. I just pray it won’t be us. I don’t know how I’ll survive myself. I drop her hand, and she moves closer to me, wrapping her arm around my stomach. I roll over, and she lays her head on my chest. I lift my hand and lightly run it through her curls, glancing up at the vast, light blue sky. I hear a car and look out to the road. It looks like Debbie’s, and I curse under my breath. “Looks like we have company,” I say to my wife. She turns her head and sighs.

  “What is she doing here?”

  “I don’t know,” I reply as I stand up. “Come on.”

  “Can’t we just hide out here?”

  I laugh. “No, baby. She drove a good ways. Let’s play nice.”

  She pushes up off her stomach and stands. I grab the blanket and shake it out as we walk toward the house.

  *

  “Hey, Mom,” Sara says as we walk up to the porch. I see Walter, too, and I shake his hand.

  “Walter, how are you doing?”

  “Good, son. How are you?”

  “Doing fine, thank you.”

  “Where did you two come from?” Debbie asks.

  “We were just enjoying the sun,” she says, giving her mom a hug.

  “It’s too hot to be out here.”

  “It’s not hot today,” Sara replies.

  “Well, I guess it’s a matter of opinion.”

  I roll my eyes when I turn my head and open the door. “After you, Debbie.” I smile at the woman who is too clingy and annoys the piss out of me.

  “See, you haven’t done much with the place,” she says, taking a seat on the couch.

  “Debbie,” Walter warns.

  “I’m just stating facts. You need some color in this place. We can go shopping if you want, Sara.”

  “No thanks, Mama. Cash and I are decorating it here and there.”

  “Suit yourself,” she says, linking her fingers on her lap.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Sara asks.

  “Yes, I’ll take some tea.”

  “I don’t have any made. Would water be okay?”

  “You don’t keep tea made here?”

  “No, I don’t like to get into a habit of drinking it all the time.”

  “You grew up drinking it all the time.”

  “Well, things change, Mom.”

  She sighs. “Water is fine.”

  “Would you like a beer, Walter?” I ask.

  “I see you’re still drinking,” Debbie chimes in.

  “Yep,” I reply.

  “A beer would be nice, son. Thank you.”

  I nod before Sara and then walk to the kitchen. Sara grabs at her hair as I open the fridge. “What is she even doing here?” she says in a harsh whisper.

  “Guess she misses driving us fucking crazy.”

  Sara laughs as I hand her the water pitcher, and she fills her mom’s glass.

  “Guess she does,” she agrees.

  “You want a beer?”

  “Yes, and after this visit, I’m going to need something stronger, so be ready to go out.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I reply. I slap her ass as I walk by and head back into the living room.

  “Here you go, Mom.” Sara hands her the glass, and Debbie gasps.

  “What the hell did you do?” she asks in horror. I realize she is talking about her daughter’s wrist, and again I curse under my breath. “When did this happen?” She looks over at me. I swallow and twist a beer cap off before handing it to Sara.

  “Someone answer me, dammit.”

  “Mom.”

  “No! Don’t you Mom me. You cut your wrist and no one tells me? I’ve had it. I knew something like this was going to happen. I knew you shouldn’t have moved away from me. Walter, look at our baby’s wrist.”

  Walter looks grim as he peers over at his daughter’s arm. “Why didn’t you call us?” he asks Sara.

  “I didn’t want to worry you. I had a bad moment, but I’m better, Daddy. I’m on my meds, and I’m seeing a therapist. Things are better.”

  He nods, but I see the worry behind his eyes. I don’t blame him. If it were my daughter, I’d be worri
ed, too. And the mention of her meds reminds me she didn’t call them in.

  “You should have called us the minute this happened, Cash. How are we to trust you with our child when you let something like this—”

  “Stop,” Sara cuts in. “Mom, I will not have you blame this on Cash. It is not his fault. It’s no one’s fault. I’m sick, and sometimes I get sad and I can’t control it. No one can. It’s just who I am. But I’m better now. There is no need to worry, and you will not come into my home and blame my husband for something he had no part in.”

  Debbie huffs, and Walter stands. “We’ll be on our way now.”

  “There’s no need to leave,” I say to him.

  “No, son, it’s getting late.” He shakes my hand. Debbie stands, too, and Sara gives her a hug.

  “I made the call for him to not contact you, Mom. Don’t be upset with Cash.”

  “But why?” I hear Debbie ask.

  “Because I’m not your baby anymore. I’m grown, and we have to deal with this on our own.”

  “You’ll always be my baby.” Debbie sniffs, and Sara sighs.

  “I love you, Mom. Have a safe trip home.”

  Sara hugs her dad, and I walk them out. Debbie doesn’t speak to me as she goes to the car, but Walter does. “I’ve always liked you…” he says, turning to face me. He slides his hands into his pockets and looks past me. “Because of the love my daughter has for you. It’s as clear as the sky is blue.” He sighs and looks up, but then turns his attention back to me, and I see his anger simmer behind his blue eyes. “My opinion of you will change if something happens to her on your watch. Do you hear me?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Take care of her, Cash.”

  “I do every day,” I reply.

  He nods and walks to the car. I watch them leave, and I get a strong urge to ram my fist into a wall. “Fuck.”

  “Cash, don’t let them get to you,” Sara tells me.

  “They don’t have to,” I say back to her. “I get to me. If I would have been there more for you, you wouldn’t have tried to take your life.”

  “You were there for me. This wasn’t about you or them. It was me.”