by Dotson, P.
She met a few celebrities along the way while Clay was handling business down in LA. They bumped into Nia Long, Boris Kojoe, and Tiny from the former group Xscape, just to name a few. She was so ecstatic she couldn’t wait to tell Cassidy and Ciara.
Clay showed her a good time while they were there, but she could tell he was definitely about his business. She loved how when he stepped on the set, he commanded everyone’s attention and took charge. It made her somewhat happy that Dre hadn’t passed in vain; it looked as though Clay finally decided to get his act together. He was doing something constructive with his life. She knew Dre would have been proud.
“You have fun?” Clay asked holding the limo door open for her.
China stepped out with her Channel glasses and rocking the hell out of her three-piece Vera Wang suit Clay purchased for her. Clay stood back and nodded his head in appreciation. “Did I? We definitely have to do this again. I didn’t want to come home,” she said yawning. It was the middle of the afternoon but she was tired from their long flight.
“I could tell,” Clay laughed. “If you’re a good girl we can go again.” He had a blast down in Cali with China as well. She helped him relax and even gave him ideas for some up and coming productions he was working on. He tried to talk her into doing a demo but she declined. He shook his head because she had such a beautiful and powerful voice. He hated to see her let her talents go to waste.
“Negro please, I’m always on my best behavior.”
“I’ll have my man carry your bags into the house for you.”
“You’re not coming up?” China pouted.
“Nah, think I’m going to head home. I got a few things I need to handle.”
“You mean some bitch to handle,” China snapped out of nowhere. Jealousy pinched her heart, at the mere thought of Clay being with another woman.
“What? You jealous?” Clay asked, giving her a sexy smile.
“Boy, please,” China said rolling her eyes, refusing to admit that she was. She couldn’t understand why, he wasn’t her man.
“No, I really do have some bizness to handle at the house. Just keep your phone on because I’m going to call and check on you later.”
He kind of felt bad because some of what China said was true. Kena his long term freak called him and said she was going to be in town. Being around China for the past two weeks had him sexually frustrated, especially when they were on the beach. She was killing the black bikini she wore, the memory of her tanned oiled body almost made him stand to attention.
“A’ight,” China said sucking her teeth.
“Stay up and remain positive. If you need me don’t hesitate to call. And China.”
“Yes, Clay.”
“Promise me you won’t touch that shit again,” he said grabbing her hands and looking deep into her eyes. Just looking at her made his heart rate quicken. He could feel himself starting to catch feelings for China, that’s another reason he figured he should stay away for awhile, to give himself some time to cool off. It just didn’t seem right for him to have feelings for his home boy’s girl.
“I promise.”
“Good, that’s what I wanted to hear,” he smiled.
“Well, be safe and stay out of trouble,” she sighed.
Reluctantly she walked Clay to his Range Rover and watched him drive off. She hated to see him leave. The last two weeks they had so much fun together, just like old times, only without Dre. Having Clay around has been a blessing. He was her knight in shining armor when she obviously had given up. Thinking about him put a smile on her face.
She could feel the feelings she held for Clay growing stronger beyond a friendship. When around him she started feeling self-conscious of her appearance. She didn’t want to act on them though, she couldn’t help but to think she’d be betraying Dre if she did.
She walked into her silent house, thanked the limo driver and handed him a nice tip for bringing in her bags. With nothing else to do she decided to unpack. She came back with more than she’d left with, thanks to Clay. He obviously had major paper and didn’t mind sharing the wealth. She laughed and shook her head as she checked out her designer labels and price tags. She knew Pearl would have a fit.
After putting all her things away China lay on her bed and day dreamed about Clay. A warm spot began to circulate in between her thighs. She shook her head and willed the feelings out of her head.
“This is wrong China,” she said out loud to herself.
She rolled over on her side and grabbed her pillow and squeezed it tightly before drifting off into a peaceful sleep. Her dreams took her to a place she didn’t want to go as she dreamt about Clay.
* * *
There’s a right and a wrong way to love somebody, China’s cell phone began to sing.
“Who the hell is calling me?” she snapped, as she grabbed her cell phone. She was pissed because her dream was rudely interrupted. She and Clay were about to kiss until her loud cell phone rocked her out of her dream. “What Cas.”
“Hmmmm . . . Good morning, to you too.”
“I’m sorry,” China yawned as she sat up and stretched. “I’m still a little tired, just got back from California yesterday.” She glanced at her clock it was a little after eight. She couldn’t believe she slept all that time.
“You have fun?”
“Girl yes, Clay definitely knows how to show a girl a good time. And he is definitely about his business. I’m so glad he decided to go legit.”
“That’s good, what is it that he does now?”
“He has his own production company and he writes and produces movies. And guess who I met while down there.”
“Who?”
“Guess.”
Cassidy loudly smacked her lips annoyed with China and her childish antics. “Ummmm George Bush.”
“Gurl, please! Do you not hear the excitement in my voice?”
Cassidy laughed, “I don’t know shit, just tell me.”
“Okay, I got to meet Nia Long, Boris Kojoe, and Tiny from Xscape.”
“Not huh, China you lyin.”
“I swear to beans.”
“You still say that corny shit,” Cassidy laughed.
“Whatever and listen to you. That’s two cuss words in the same conversation.”
“Whatever. China please tell me you at least got an autograph, a picture or something.”
“Damn calm down! And yes all of the above.”
“Dang who knew Clay was doing it big like that.”
“I know right and Oh, HAPPY MUTHA FUCKIN BIRTHDAY!” China yelled. “It’s time to pop a forty.”
“Already did.”
“Yeah right, so what are we doing tonight?”
“Um you just got back and besides I don’t feel like doing anything. I’m getting to old to be celebrating my birthday anyway.”
“What? Come on Cas take the stick out of your ass.”
“What stick, ain’t nothing been in this ass but the pointer and middle finger.”
“Oh . . . my . . . humph I don’t even know how to respond to that,” China laughed. “But any fuckin’ way on to something else. Soooo how was your date?”
“You would have known if you answered your phone and stopped playing phone tag.”
“My bad you know the time zone is different.”
“Well, everything went good. We had so much fun, the chemistry was there, we talked and joked like we always do at work. But then, he bought me home and things got a little awkward after he kissed me good night.”
“And?”
“Well, I got nervous and pulled away in mid kiss. I said goodnight and slammed the door in his face.”
“Cas.”
“I know, but I couldn’t help it. It’s just that China the night was perfect, he was perfect, too perfect. I just don’t want to get hurt again.”
“I’m done with you Cas. Just don’t come crying to me when some other woman comes and snatches his ass up.”
“I won’t,” Ca
ssidy lied, China’s comment starting to get under her skin already.
“Cassidy I know you can smell your own bullshit. Won’t you let Marcus go?”
“Mannn. I am so over that dude. Hellooooo, did I not mention that he had a sudden change of heart and tried to convince me to move back in with him.”
“And your point is? You are still not over him Cassidy, if you’re comparing your relationship with you and Antoine, to you and his. You need to let go of that hurt.”
“I am so over Marcus China.”
“If you were over him then you wouldn’t let him control your future relationships with other men.”
“China what are you talking about? Antoine and I have only gone out once. I wouldn’t call that a relationship.”
“Cassidy you know what I mean. Just let Marcus go and move on with your life,” China said a little annoyed because she knew she sounded like a broken record. “If you keep looking for every man that you go out with to hurt you then that’s exactly what you are going to get. Don’t give Marcus the satisfaction of tainting your views of all men. I’m not saying fall over heels in love with the man, just give him a chance and if something isn’t right go with your instincts.”
Cassidy digested her sister’s words. “Yeah you’re right.”
“I know I am that’s why you called.”
Cassidy laughed. “Yeah it is.”
“Well, if you know all of this then why do you do the things you do?”
“I don’t know it just sounds better coming from you.”
“I know right.”
“Whatever chick.”
“I’m just sayin’.”
“Thanks sis.”
“You’re welcome, but please make this the last time we have this conversation.”
“Okay.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too.”
“Hey meet me at Turning Heads so we can get our hair did and then go get our nails done. Call Pam and tell her to come along.”
“What time?”
“What time is it now?” China asked, checking the clock on her night stand it read 8:45. “Let’s meet around ten. I don’t want to be in there all day.”
“Okay twelve sounds good.”
“I said ten.”
“Everybody knows that means twelve.”
“Whateva, just make sure you dere.”
“A’ight yo one.”
China laughed. “No boo boo please stick to what you know, because that is not for you.”
“Bye girl.”
China stood up, stretched and wiped some sleep out of her eyes. After making her bed she stood in front of her now full closet with her arms folded across her chest.
“What to wear?” she asked herself.
After what seemed like minutes she opted on a cream colored blouse, a pair of black True Religion Skinny jeans and a pair of Michael Kors high tops. After showering she dressed and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She applied eye liner and Mac lip gloss. She loved Mac lip gloss it made her lips feel so soft. She grabbed her jacket off the bed and studied herself in the mirror admiring her curves.
“Damn, I look good,” she said admiring her full hips.
Hearing her stomach rumble she decided to fix herself something to eat before heading to the salon. She checked her watch, it was a little past ten. Oh well, I won’t be that late she thought to herself as she happily skipped to the kitchen. She was happy and couldn’t understand why. She figured maybe it was because things were finally looking up for her. She made a promise to herself to never fall off again.
China searched through her refrigerator and found nothing, so she decided she would make a quick stop to get something to eat before going to the salon.
“Damn it,” she muttered once she realized she left her purse upstairs.
After making that dreaded trip back upstairs, she checked her appearance once more ready to head out the door. When she opened her front door Nene was standing outside on the step playing on her cell phone. Nene was the last person she expected or wanted to see.
“Hey bitch,” Nene squealed, tucking her cell phone in her back pocket. “Where are you on your way too?”
“None of your business,” China said with an attitude as she stepped outside, giving Nene her back so she could lock her door.
Sensing China’s attitude, Nene just chalked it to be about the falling out they had at the club. “Are you still mad at me about that shit that went down at the club? If anybody should be mad it should be me.”
China sighed. “Look I’m kind of in a rush, I will call you later,” China lied. Nene to her was now yesterday’s news, a simple afterthought, and she wasn’t in the mood to dig her foot in Nene’s ass today.
“China,” Nene whined grabbing China’s arm. She missed China while she was away. Other than China she really didn’t have anybody that she could call a true friend.
“China roughly jerked her arm out of Nene’s grasp. “Ne, just go ahead okay. You know what,” China said shaking her head. “You are a shady bitch. I knew how you got real grimey out in the streets on these other hoes, but I thought me and you were tight,” China said unable to keep her peace.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Nene asked, her expression turning sour.
“I’m talking about Dre bitch.”
“And what about Dre?” Nene asked feeling a little uneasy with the crazy look in China’s eyes.
“How he know about the fuckin’ birth mark on your ass?”
The question caught Nene off guard. She remembered showing Dre her birth mark on plenty of occasions, but that was a long time ago. She wondered why China was bringing it up now.
“What?” Nene asked faking surprise. “I don’t know he probably heard us talking about it,” she said shrugging her shoulders like it was no big deal. “How the fuck am I supposed to know.”
“Yeah, Nee you would say some lame shit like that,” China said walking around her. She’d already spent too much of her time and energy on this conversation.
Nene followed suit. “China, where the fuck is all of this coming from? You know you my girl and I would never do no shit like that. I knew how much Dre meant to you I would never do you grimey like that,” Nene protested but China was giving her I’m not trying to hear it look. “Oh, I know what it is now,” Nene said throwing her hands in the air. “It’s that nigga Clay. You got a man, now you don’t know a bitch.”
“Ne as usual you talking sideways. Clay is just a friend, a real friend I might add.” China sighed and shook her head. “Nene just go ahead. I am seriously not in the mood to get in your ass today.
“It’s happening again. You go find yourself a man and all of a sudden you don’t know a bitch no more.”
‘Whateva,” China said opening the door to the black Armada Clay bought her. She climbed in and slammed the door in Nene’s face and simply tuned Nene out. She put on her Gucci shades and backed out of the driveway, away from the drama.
“That’s a’ight,” Nene yelled. “You still my bitch. I’ll still be here when that nigga up and leave yo’ ass.”
Nene continued to stand in China’s driveway stuck on stupid. Once again she’d been abandoned and left alone, just like when she was a little girl. Her mother would go on drug binges and leave her alone for days to fend for herself. She would go days at a time without food, and heat. She shuddered at the memory as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She figured China’s little arrangement would only be temporary, she knew she would come back, she always did.
Chapter 22
Ciara lay in bed with her hair spread out on the pillow like a fan. She was miserable and Marcus was M.I.A once again. The fairytale life she pictured for herself was slowly turning into a nightmare. She wanted to save face and push for a happy ending but things between her and Marcus had to change.
First order of business is she and Marcus need to spend more time together. Getting Marcus to spend time with her was like pulling
teeth. At a time like this when she is vulnerable and emotional she needed his support and kind words. She needed to be catered to every once in a while, she needed to feel that same love and affection he used to give her before they moved in together. Whenever she would question him about it he always claimed that he was consumed with work and didn’t have time.
But Ciara wasn’t buying the bullshit he was selling. She could tell the chemistry between them had gone sour. Marcus looked at her differently. The smile that he used to wear in his eyes whenever he saw her was gone. Tears came to her eyes as she tried to figure out where they went wrong.
Silent tears continued to flow from her eyes, as she rubbed her belly. This should have been a time of bliss and happiness. She was expecting her first child with the man she loved. She’s living in her dream home, but all of that couldn’t compensate for the loneliness she felt in her heart. She wondered if she made a mistake by tearing her family apart for choosing to love this man. She wiped her tears and shook her head, trying to shoo away her negative thoughts.
She smiled and rubbed her stomach when she felt her baby girl kick. “I think I’m going to name you Heaven. Something good has to come of this.”
Bored with nothing to do she sat up, picked up her phone and dialed Rayna’s number.
“Hello.”
“Hey girl, what you doin’?”
“Sitting here watching Maury. Girl they be tripping me out. How you gon’ take your ass on national television crying and boo whooin about not knowing who your baby daddy is?”
“I know right,” Ciara said half heartedly. She was a fan of the show and any other time would have shared in on the laugh, but she wasn’t in the mood.
“What’s wrong?”
“Notihing.”
“Girl, quit playin’. I know something is wrong, I can hear it in your voice. Besides you usually be trippin’ off Maury right along with me.”
Ciara sighed loudly. “I don’t know what to do Rayna,” she squeaked into the phone. “Marcus has done a complete one eighty on me. I can count on my hands how many time’s we’ve made love since moving in together.”
One eighty, Rayna thought. “Ciara come on, you don’t need to be stressed out like this. You need to think about the baby.”