Ride a Rebel Wind

by Brieanna Robertson

  “Okay, so what am I?” Shelby asked.

  “Uh…you’re a bounty hunter too,” Hayden improvised.

  She frowned. “Then why am I dressed like a whore?” she exclaimed.

  “You were undercover. Here, you take this.” He handed her the bottle of Jack Daniels and draped the end of her black boa around Jackson’s neck. “We’re all bounty hunters. We caught the bad guy and now we’re celebrating.” He positioned Shelby’s arm around Jackson’s neck also and put a derringer pistol in her hand.

  She made an affronted noise in her throat. “Why are you giving me the wussy pee-wee gun?”

  He heaved a sigh, grabbed the derringer, and replaced it with a regular pistol. Then he grabbed a rifle for himself, went back over to his place, and eased Gina back onto his lap. He gave a curt nod to the photographer. “Okay, now we’re ready.”

  The photographer gave him a bland expression and stared at him for several seconds. “Do you want me to cut you a check while I’m at it?” Everyone laughed and she went over to Jack to make a few minor adjustments. She made him stand on a little stool in order to make him a bit taller as he was being drowned out by feathers and Shelby’s hair.

  Gina looked up at Hayden while they were getting situated and gave him the warmest grin he had ever seen. “That was smooth,” she whispered.

  He laughed softly. “I’m sorry, I just could not continue to witness her google-eyeing Troy when he’s being a douche, and watch Jack stand around like a reject. It was getting painful.”

  The light in her eyes was tender and she tilted her lips up to place a soft kiss on his jaw. His skin turned hot and he closed his eyes to try and get a grip. It wasn’t like he’d never been around a woman before. Why did Gina’s presence addle him and make him feel like a naïve kid?

  “Okay, ready? Look up here. One, two, three.” The photographer snapped a shot. “Okay, one more.”

  “Seriously, Hayden, if your hand goes any higher…”

  Hayden diverted his attention down to where his hand was resting on Gina’s leg. It really had moved up her thigh about three inches. He felt his face flame, something he was not accustomed to. He hadn’t done that intentionally. He’d just been enjoying the feel of her skin…

  “Hey, quit feeling up my sister, buddy!” Shelby snapped, half in jest…he hoped. She stepped away from Jack and put her hand on her hip, then wagged her finger at him in warning. One of the black feathers from her boa flitted through the air in front of Jack’s face and he swiped at it.

  “Okay, guys, get ready.” The photographer went back beneath the black curtain behind the camera. “One…two…”

  Jack swatted at the feather again and leaned back just enough to lose his footing on the stool he was on. He stumbled backward and toppled over, still holding onto the rope around Troy’s neck, thus yanking Troy backward by the throat off the box he was sitting on. His foot made contact with Hayden’s elbow on the way down.

  “Ow!” Hayden exclaimed, instinctively moving away from Troy’s flailing appendage. He knocked Gina off his lap and she squeaked. He reached out to grasp her and keep her from falling and his hand clamped firmly right over her breast.

  “Three!” The camera flashed.

  “Oh my gosh, Jack, are you okay?” Shelby asked as she went over to him.

  He shook his head as he sat up. “Yeah, but I almost broke my ankle.”

  “You almost broke my neck,” Troy grumbled as he pushed himself back into a standing position.

  “I am so sorry about that,” Hayden muttered as he jerked his hand away from Gina’s chest. “I was…I was trying to…”

  “You were trying to cop a feel.”

  He groaned inwardly and couldn’t bring himself to look at her as she got up off his lap. “It was reflex.” He was floundering.

  “Reflex to grab onto my boob?” She snorted. “Yeah, I suppose that’s true for a guy.”

  He forced himself to stop staring at the ground, and he was surprised to find her in front of him with her hands on her hips in a sassy posture. She was smirking mischievously. Relief flooded him to see she wasn’t actually angry, and he chuckled. “Wow, that was a disaster.”

  Hysterical laughter turned everyone’s attention over to the photographer. “Oh man, this is the best picture I have ever seen!” She whooped again and Hayden stood to go look at the proofs on her computer screen. The first picture was fine, totally normal. But the second one was chaos. Jack’s cowboy hat had flown off in his descent and it was up in the air like its own entity. Troy’s legs were sticking straight up as he went backward and the look on Gina’s face was pure shock at the fact that Hayden had his hand on her breast. The look on his own face was mortification. Off to the side, Shelby was staring at them all like they’d all lost their minds.

  “Oh my gosh, look at my face! Look at yours!” Gina laughed. “That is classic! I want one of those.”

  “Me too,” he chuckled. “I think maybe one of each for all of us.”

  “Holy crap!”

  Shelby’s sudden exclamation turned everyone’s attention and Hayden blinked rapidly as his eyes fell on his brother. He had started to take off his western apparel and was only in a white wifebeater. Both of his arms were completely sleeved with colorful tattoos. “Holy crap!” he cried, echoing Shelby. “Dude, bro, when did you get all the ink?”

  Jackson seemed to shrink in on himself and his face turned hot-sauce-red. “Just ‘cause I’m a cop doesn’t mean I’m completely straight-laced,” he mumbled.

  “Is that why you were wearing that stupid shirt?” Hayden prodded. “Why were you hiding them?” Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen his brother’s bare arms at all since he’d gotten there.

  Jackson shrugged. “I didn’t want you to make a big deal about it and I knew you would.”

  Hayden frowned. “Why would I make a big deal about it? You’re a grown man, and I have tattoos of my own.”

  “It’s not a big deal.” He turned and started to head back toward the dressing rooms.

  Hayden followed after him and grabbed his arm. “Wait a second, what—” He blinked in shock as his gaze fell on a familiar sight underneath his grip on Jack’s upper arm. Jack had decent-sized arms, full of athletic muscle. On his shoulder he had a portrait of their mother and father on their wedding day, and below that was a portrait of Hayden himself, a younger him…a him he barely remembered. “What picture is that?” he asked, his voice coming out strangely raspy.

  Jackson yanked his arm out of Hayden’s grasp. “I took it at my high school graduation party,” he muttered.

  He perused the rest of Jackson’s tattoos and raised an eyebrow as he recognized the cover art from a Metallica album adorning the other arm. “When did you start liking Metallica?”

  Jackson snorted. “Gimme a break, Hayden. You used to listen to it morning, noon and night the entire time I was in middle school.”

  “Yeah, I know, but you always yelled at me to turn it off. I didn’t think you liked it.”

  “That’s because you were always blaring it when I was trying to freaking study, or sleep, because some people do that every now and then.” He turned and crossed his arms over his chest. He stared off to the side, a muscle in his jaw working furiously. “I have really good memories of that album, okay?”

  Hayden was taken aback by his defensiveness. “Okay, that’s cool. But…Jack, when did you do all of this?”

  Jack snorted again, louder this time, and the tone was complete disgust. “If you were ever around, maybe you’d know, but you aren’t, are you, Hayden?” He turned and stalked back over to the dressing room.

  Hayden stared after him, feeling like he’d been sucker punched. He glanced back over at Gina, who shot him a concerned expression, and he followed Jack to the dressing room. He yanked the curtain aside just in time to see his brother buttoning his jeans back up.

  Jackson scowled. “Thanks. Just what I want is for the entire room to see my junk.” He started to pull h
is black shirt back on.

  Hayden stopped him and took his shirt out of his hands. “Jack, wait a second.”

  “Why?” he growled. “Why should I do anything you say? You gave up your right to tell me what to do years ago when you rode out of here, so just save it, would you?” He snatched his shirt back.

  Hayden huffed and yanked it out of his hands again. “Jack, where is this coming from? Dude, talk to me…” The pain he saw beneath the anger on his brother’s face twisted his gut. “Please.”

  Jackson looked down, hurt mirrored in his eyes. “You just bailed on me, Hayden. You rode away and never looked back, and you haven’t even cared enough to come visit me, like, ever.”

  “I’m here now.”

  “Yeah, because you ran out of excuses. I could hardly believe my eyes when you showed up in my driveway. Not when you didn’t even come to my college graduation.”

  Hayden swallowed hard. “My work wouldn’t let me off.”

  “Or when I graduated from the police academy.”

  “I did try to come to that!” he exclaimed. “My car broke down in Arizona!”

  Jackson shook his head and heaved a defeated-sounding sigh. “Yeah, I know, you always had plenty of good excuses. Tons of things that were more important than me. What you never realized is that, while you thought taking care of me was sucking out all the life in your soul, I idolized you.” Hayden opened his mouth to protest, but Jackson held up his hand. “Save it. Don’t deny that’s how you felt because I know you did. I’m not stupid. I can figure things out.” He sighed again and some of the anger went out of him. “I know you did what you had to do, and I know you’d do it again, so don’t give me the speech, okay? I also know it wasn’t what you wanted. It was just the hand you got dealt, and you’re a good person so you did what had to be done. You’ve always been kind and you’ve always been honorable, and I am forever grateful for the fact that you took the responsibility upon yourself to be my guardian. But…” He looked up at him and Hayden’s heart splintered at the sorrow in his little brother’s eyes. He gave a small, sad smile. “Do you know why I got that Metallica album on my arm? Because some of my most annoying memories are of when I would wake up to James Hetfield growling away instead of an alarm clock. And I’d stagger out into the kitchen to yell at you about it and there you’d be, in your badass bandanna and your black jeans with chains hanging out of the pocket, making me oatmeal and scrambled eggs. Those annoying memories also happen to me my happiest. Because you were all I had, and I knew you’d always be there. And then one day, you weren’t.”

  Hayden exhaled a long, slow breath, wondering if he could disappear into the floorboards. He had never felt so low or small in his entire life. “Jack,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea…” But he knew that was a lie. He’d always known. He’d just been too much of a chicken to face the guilt.

  “You’re the only family I have, Hayden,” Jack said softly. “Mom and Dad were taken away from us involuntarily. You took you away from me. They can’t come back. You can, but you don’t.”

  There was nothing in the world that anyone could have said to him that would have hurt him worse than those words. And it was because he knew they were true. Brutal, but true.

  “I don’t begrudge you having your own life,” Jack continued. “But does that mean you have to disassociate yourself with everything from the one you used to have? Even me?”

  A long silence stretched between them, mainly because the pain constricting Hayden’s chest made it impossible for him to speak. Finally, Jack grabbed the shirt back again.

  “You should leave it off.” Hayden forced the words passed his lips. “Shelby’s eyes lit up when she saw all your work.”

  Jack arched an eyebrow. “You think?”

  Hayden nodded. “Jack,” he said as his brother pushed past him to get out of the cubicle. His voice sounded as strangled as it felt. “I-I’m sorry. I—”

  This time, Jack’s sigh sounded like resignation. “I know, Hayden. Let’s not make a federal case out of it, okay? I don’t want to ruin the day, or your trip for that matter. Let’s just forget it.” He threw the curtain aside and stepped out.

  Just forget it? How could he? He’d crushed his little brother, the person he loved the most in the whole world, because of his own selfishness, because of his own fear. He’d made him feel abandoned and not good enough. It would have hurt less if someone had bashed his knees in with a sledge hammer. Because it was all true.

  He’d never hated himself more than he did at that moment.

  Chapter Six

  Gina frowned as she watched Jackson exit the dressing room looking troubled, followed by Hayden who looked even more troubled. While Jackson stayed and dawdled, Hayden left the store and went outside.

  “What do you think that was all about?” Shelby asked.

  Gina shook her head. “I don’t know, but I’m going to go change so I can talk to him.” She shot a glance over to Troy, who seemed oblivious, and was doing more chatting with the photographer than he had done all day.

  “Did you see Jack’s tattoos?” Shelby asked absently, grabbing a hold of Gina’s arm. “They were glorious!”

  Gina looked at her sister and smiled at the enraptured look in her eyes. “Go talk to him,” she invited as she made her way back over to the dressing room. “You guys can compare ink.” She made quick work out of changing and was happy to see Shelby looking Jackson over when she exited. She had her hands all over him as she inspected his tattoos, and he was grinning so wide she thought his face might split in half. Gina continued on outside, where Hayden was leaning up against a wooden support beam that held up the Western awning sheltering the walkway.

  She admired his broad shoulders and straight posture for a moment before she approached him and put her hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”

  He heaved a sigh and averted his attention to the ground. “How much of that in there did you guys hear?”

  “We were making a point of trying not to listen.”

  He nodded solemnly and was quiet for a long moment before he said, “Have you ever had a moment where you hate yourself so much that you don’t even want to be around you?”

  Gina gave him a sympathetic smile. “We all have times like that, Hayden, but what’s already happened doesn’t matter. It’s what you do about it that does.”

  He looked down at her, his beautiful blue eyes haunted and full of pain. “I hurt the person I love more than anyone,” he murmured. “How do I fix that?”

  “You can’t fix it. All you can do is try to make it better from now on.” She reached up to run her hands from his shoulders down his arms.

  He captured her hands in his. “I never thought Jack would think I’d bailed on him. I don’t know if I thought of anything at all aside from ‘get me out of here.’” He shook his head. “I was so afraid that all my adventures would die if I stayed, that I would die, metaphorically speaking. That’s what kept me from coming back, too. That fear that, somehow, I’d never find what I was looking for.”

  She frowned thoughtfully. “What are you looking for?”

  “I have absolutely no idea.” He gave a derisive snort. “Nice, right? I ripped my brother’s heart out and made him feel abandoned so I could go off and chase some elusive, nameless thing.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m starting to think maybe I’m just a selfish ass.”

  She squeezed his hands and smiled at him. “Anyone who did what you did for your brother can’t be considered selfish.”

  “I don’t know about that. I’m not feeling very self-sacrificing at the moment.” He looked up and met her gaze. His brow furrowed. “Is it a stupid dream to always only want the wind against your face?”

  His words struck Gina’s heart with their truth. She understood that desire to wander, to discover and explore. It lived inside of her, too. “I don’t think that’s stupid, Hayden. You just have to figure out what’s most important to you, and then make it all work somehow.” Regardless
of her own wanderlust, Gina knew she could never leave her family. That had always been her number one priority. She couldn’t begin to imagine her life without her parents or Shelby.

  “Don’t you get lonely?” she asked suddenly. “Just traveling all by yourself?”

  He looked at her for a long moment, then shrugged. “I guess I never really thought about it.”

  “I think I’d always prefer to have a partner in crime. Someone to laugh with, get lost with, share stories with, listen to music with…eat good food with…or bad.” She laughed softly as she recalled some of her more memorable trips with Shelby. “Who’s going to believe your tall tales of adventure and daring-do if you don’t have someone who was there to witness it with you?”

  A tiny bit of sparkle returned to his eyes. “I never really looked at it like that.”

  She smiled and raised an eyebrow in a flirty gesture. “Maybe that’s what you’ve been looking for. A partner in crime. You and your brother put on a pretty good show last night. You guys make a good pair.”

  A gentle, whimsical expression crossed his face for a moment and he nodded slowly. “I’ve never thought of going on a trip with Jack before. Not since we were kids. I bet he would make a good wingman.” His turned his gaze back to her with a glint of devilishness in his eyes. “I can think of other people who would fit the role pretty well also.” He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her flush up against his body. The air slammed out of her lungs as his heat encompassed her and his intoxicating scent invaded her nostrils. She closed her eyes for a second to keep her head from spinning, and placed her palms against his chest.

  “Where in the world did you come from?” he whispered, caressing the line of her jaw with his free hand.

  “I was just minding my own business and trying to unwind after a terrible day. You were the one who invaded my house and scared me to death.”

  His chuckle was a deep, sexy rumble. “Jack’s idiocy brought me an unexpected surprise—a beautiful woman ready to go medieval on me.” She laughed and he tightened his arm around her. “I’m sorry your day wasn’t good, but last night is beginning to feel like the best I’ve had in a very long time.” His lips descended onto hers—finally—with warm, velvet contact. They played over hers in a lazy exploration that set her blood ablaze. She melted into him, lost and conquered and not minding it in the least.