The Way Back Home

by Barbara Freethy

  “I don’t think I thanked you for defending me.”

  “Anytime,” he said, giving her a warm smile. For a moment, there was nothing between them but silence and the chirping of the frogs. “They have their own song, don’t they?” he said.

  “A loud one,” she agreed.

  “This place has a rhythm to it—the frogs, the water, the wind through the trees. It’s nice. Sometimes I wonder why Rob ever left.”

  “Too slow, too quiet. Rob wanted a more exciting life. Last time you were here, you said you couldn’t imagine living in a place like this.”

  “I said a lot of stupid things back then, Alicia. You made my head spin. You made me question my choices. And I didn’t handle it well.”

  She was surprised at his candor. “Really? I did that? In one week?”

  “It shocked the hell out of me, too,” he said, meeting her gaze. After a moment, he turned away, gazing out at the pond.

  “What were you going to do, Gabe, before Rob died? Before you decided to come here and save us? What was your plan for when you were out of the service?”

  His jaw stiffened, his profile turning hard. “I had an offer to work for a private security company.”

  “What does that mean, exactly?”

  “The group takes on jobs that the military isn’t equipped to handle.”

  “Well, that’s nice and vague. Are you a mercenary?”

  “I will be getting paid,” he said with a short smile that no longer reached his eyes. “But I wouldn’t call it that.”

  “But it’s still war games for you.” She didn’t know why she was disappointed. “Sounds like it’s right up your alley.”

  “I thought about doing something else, but I’ve been a marine my entire adult life. I don’t have a lot of other skills.”

  “I’m sure that’s not true.” She paused. “You’ve never really told me what happened to your parents. Are they dead or just absent?”

  “My mother is dead. She OD’d when I was eight.” He stared out at the pond. “But she wasn’t really around much before that. Every once in a while, she’d go to rehab, get cleaned up, promise never to do it again, and then a week later, she’d be crazy high. My father wasn’t any better. He worked as a trucker, and he got hooked on amphetamines to keep him awake. Then he just used because he couldn’t stop. I wasn’t planned, just another mistake in their mistake-filled lives. After my mom died, I lived with an aunt for a while. Then she got married, and her new husband didn’t want me around. I spent time off and on with my dad, but he could barely keep himself together. And one day, he just took off. I got stuck in some teen foster-care homes, and that was that.”

  “You never saw him again?”

  “Once, after I graduated from high school. I was working at a burger joint before I enlisted, and he showed up, asking me if I had any money. That’s the last I saw of him. When I turned eighteen, I joined the Corps. I knew they’d give me three meals a day and a roof over my head, or at least a tent.”

  No wonder he was so guarded, so dark; he’d never felt the unconditional love of a parent for a child. Her heart ached for him, but she knew that the last thing he wanted was her pity. And she didn’t pity him; she admired him for enduring and triumphing.

  “I wasn’t being noble or patriotic,” he added. “I just wanted something stable.”

  “I can understand that. You had it rough.”

  “Some people shouldn’t have kids.”

  “That’s true. My mom took off when I was twelve, and I never forgave her for that. After I had Justin, I saw how difficult motherhood could be, but I couldn’t imagine ever walking out on my child. I adored Justin from the second he was born. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing; sometimes I still don’t. But I try my best.” She paused. “I just worry that I’m not enough for Justin. He needs a dad. And Connor will never be the kind of father that Justin deserves.”

  He picked a blade of grass and twisted his fingers around it. “Is that why you’re involved with Keith? Because he’s good dad material?”

  “Keith is a good father, but that’s not the only reason.”

  “He makes you hot.”

  “I don’t want to talk about Keith with you,” she said, feeling more than a little uncomfortable.

  “Fine with me.”

  “What about you? No woman in your life?” she asked, deciding it was time to turn the tables.

  “Nope. I like to travel light.”

  “That’s what you said the last time you were here, right before you left.”

  His gaze settled on her face. “I wasn’t prepared for you, Alicia. I didn’t expect what happened to happen.”

  “I didn’t, either. You were like a tornado. You came in and took over my life, and then you were gone just as quickly. It hurt.”

  His eyes darkened. “It hurt me, too.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not going to feel sorry for you. It was your decision to end it. I wasn’t asking you to quit the Marines. I just wanted to know if there was the possibility of a future together.”

  “You were looking for a husband and a man who would be a father to Justin, and I couldn’t be good in either role. I wasn’t that guy then, and I’m not now.”

  “You’re not? Or you don’t want to be?”

  “I don’t know how to be a family man. And I wouldn’t want to screw up some kid’s life the way my parents screwed up mine.”

  “That’s a cop-out. Just because you share someone’s genes doesn’t mean you’ll be just like them. I’m not like my mother. I’m not going to quit on my kid. And I can’t imagine that you would ever do that, either.”

  Justin and David came back with their bucket of frogs, and Gabe looked relieved at the interruption. In truth, she was a little relieved, too. Their conversation had gotten too heavy, too personal.

  “Can we practice getting the frogs to jump?” Justin asked.

  “Let’s do that back at the house,” she said, getting to her feet. She rolled down her jeans and slipped on her shoes.

  “I’ll text my dad,” David said, taking out his phone. “He said he’d meet us.”

  “Good,” she said, not liking the sudden spark in Gabe’s eyes. She didn’t need him analyzing her relationship with Keith. It was none of his business. “Stay out of it,” she muttered as they walked to the car.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You know what I’m talking about,” she said, glancing around to make sure Justin and David were out of earshot. “Don’t try to mess up my relationship with Keith.”

  “I’m not planning to do that.”

  “Good. Because he’s a great guy.”

  “That’s what you keep saying, and I’m starting to wonder who you’re trying to convince—me or yourself.”

  Gabe felt restless. It was nine o’clock at night, and he didn’t know what the hell to do with himself. After the frog-collecting expedition, he’d left Alicia and the boys with Keith and gone into town. He picked up some food at the market, made himself some spaghetti, read the newspaper, and looked through some of Rob’s things, wondering how he could make himself a little more helpful to the Hayden family. So far, he hadn’t come up with an answer. Maybe it was time to take a closer look at the business.

  He left the house and walked across the grass and through the trees. He could see Alicia, Keith, George, and the boys gathered around the dining-room table. It looked like they were playing some sort of board game. The windows were open, and the sound of family laughter washed over him, making him feel even more restless. That kind of scene was what he’d always wanted and never had.

  Turning away from the house, he headed down to the office of Hayden River Adventures. As he climbed the stairs to the deck, he was surprised to see a flicker of light coming from the yard. A flashlight? His senses went on high alert. Who the hell would be wandering around the yard with a flashlight at this time of night?

  He moved closer, staying as quiet as he could, keepi
ng to the shadows, and then he slipped through the back gate, which had been left ajar. A dark figure was leaning over a box that appeared to be filled with oars.

  Creeping up behind him, Gabe grabbed the man’s arm, whirled him around, and shoved him up against the side of the building. The flashlight fell with a clatter as the man gasped in alarm.

  “Who the hell are you?” Gabe demanded. “And what are you doing here?”

  The man squirmed under his grasp, his face in the shadows. “I’m Kenny Barber, and I work here. I’m one of the guides.”

  “Why are you out here with a flashlight?”

  “I was looking for a backpack I left here. Let me go.”

  Gabe gave him a long look, grabbed the flashlight off the ground, and turned it on the man’s face, then took a step back. The guy was early twenties, scruffy beard, hooded sweatshirt, dark jeans. “You got any ID?”

  “Are you a cop?”

  “No, but I can get one. Right now, you’re trespassing.”

  “You’re the one who’s trespassing,” the guy said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a billfold and opened it up, revealing his driver’s license.

  Gabe stepped forward. Kenny Barber, age twenty-five, River Rock, California. He lowered the flashlight. “Do the Haydens know you’re down here?”

  “I didn’t want to bother them.”

  “You’re going to have to come up with a better story.” Something was off about Kenny Barber, and he wasn’t about to let him go without finding out what that was.

  “Why should I? Who are you?”

  “Gabe Ryder, friend of the family.”

  Awareness registered in Kenny’s eyes. “Rob’s friend. Dude, I’m so sorry about what happened to him. Rob talked about you all the time. Look, I’ve been working for the Haydens for the last four years. I left some of my personal equipment here, and I came to get it.”

  “In the dark, without telling anyone?”

  Kenny shifted his feet. “Okay, here’s the deal. I like George and Alicia. They’ve been like family to me, but the accident last year destroyed the business. I need to work, and I need to move on.”

  “Why not just tell them that?”

  “George doesn’t take no for an answer. And with Rob’s death, I didn’t want to talk to Alicia. But I will,” he added quickly. “I’ll come back in the morning.”

  “Who are you going to work for?” Gabe asked.

  “Wild River Tours. They’re looking for guides, and I’m one of the best.”

  “You must know the Haydens need you.”

  “Even if I stayed on, it wouldn’t help. They’re not going to have any customers. Their name has been trashed up and down the river.”

  “If you’re one of the best guides, then you must have people who’d have faith in you. Why not bring those customers in and show them that this company is still worthy? What happened last year was an accident, right?”

  “That’s what they said. I wasn’t on that trip. I feel bad about deserting them, but I have to look out for myself. Wild River Tours is paying double. They’re grabbing all of the good guides, too. The Haydens are done, whether they accept it or not.”

  “I’ll let Alicia know you were here,” he said.

  Kenny took off without his flashlight, so Gabe put it to good use. There were a couple of kayaks in the yard, a box of oars, an old bicycle, and two big walk-in storage lockers with locks on them. He wondered what Kenny had been looking for. He couldn’t quite buy the idea that Kenny would choose nine o’clock on a Friday night to collect some personal belongings.

  Flipping off the flashlight, he headed toward the Hayden house, pausing under the trees as he saw David come out of the house, going toward the car while Keith and Alicia paused on the porch.

  His gut twisted inside as he watched Keith put his arms around Alicia. He said something, and she smiled; then she lifted her face to his.

  It was a quick kiss, but it still burned him.

  Alicia waited on the porch as Keith got into the car and pulled out of the drive. As she turned to go inside, he called her name.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked in surprise.

  “I walked down to the boathouse and saw a guy with a flashlight. He said his name was Kenny Barber and he’d come to collect something he’d left there.”

  “Kenny is one of our guides. I’ve been calling him for the last three weeks, and he hasn’t returned my calls.”

  “He told me he signed up with Wild River Tours.”

  Disappointment filled her eyes. “I was hoping he was just out of town.”

  “Why would he be messing around behind your building at nine o’clock at night?”

  “I have no idea.” Her gaze narrowed. “But you obviously have a theory.”

  “More of a gut instinct. He was up to something.”

  “I don’t know. Kenny has worked for us for four years. He’s like family.”

  “Sometimes family turns on you.”

  “I don’t want to be that cynical. Maybe you’re overreacting, like you did last night when Sadie knocked over the trash cans. If Kenny said he left something in the yard, he probably did.”

  “He didn’t have anything in his hands when he left.”

  “I’ll call him tomorrow. What were you doing down there, anyway?”

  “I was taking a walk. How was your night with the boyfriend?”

  “Good. We played Monopoly. A hot Friday night in River Rock.”

  “About as hot as that kiss you gave him.”

  She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You were spying on me.”

  “I didn’t want to interrupt—not that there was much to interrupt.”

  “David was in the car,” she said defensively.

  “That’s the only reason you gave him a peck?”

  “I’m not going to discuss how I kiss with you.”

  “You don’t have to, because I know how you kiss when you want someone. It sure as hell wasn’t like that.”

  “I care for Keith. And he’s good for me and Justin. So leave it alone, Gabe. Just leave it all alone.”

  She returned to the house, the front door banging behind her.

  He let out a breath. He should leave it alone. But somehow he didn’t think that would be possible.

  Seven

  Long time no see,” Alicia said as Gabe appeared on her doorstep just after eight-thirty on Saturday morning. She didn’t like the way he’d questioned her relationship with Keith the night before, the way he’d critiqued their kiss. They had plenty of passion; they just didn’t have very much alone time in which to express it. “What do you want?” she asked shortly.

  He gave a hopeful sniff. “Do I smell breakfast?”

  “When Rob gave you his house, it didn’t include meals.”

  “Gabe,” her father said, coming up behind her. “Good to see you. Are you going to the festival with us?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” Gabe said with a cheerful smile. “I’m just going to go home and have some cold cereal, and then I’ll be back.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Alicia has enough food for an army here, don’t you, honey?”

  “Of course, plenty for everyone. I wouldn’t want you to have to eat cold cereal.”

  Gabe gave her a teasing wink as he passed by.

  She shook her head. Gabe had a lot of weapons in his arsenal, and right now he was being charming and playful, which was pretty irresistible. But she didn’t intend to let him know that.

  In the kitchen, she busied herself with the food while the guys talked about the festival. As usual, Justin and her dad kept the conversation going, so neither she nor Gabe had to say much. After they were done eating, they headed out to the festival. She insisted on taking two cars so that if someone wanted to leave early, they’d have the option. She also didn’t want to tie herself to Gabe for the day. Keith was going to be at the festival, too. And she wanted to spend time with him.

  A carnival had been set up a
t the fairgrounds on the outskirts of town. There were the usual game booths and rides, including a Ferris wheel and a small roller coaster. In addition, there were unique River Rock events such as the frog-jumping and log-rolling contests. Musical performers would keep the crowds entertained, and food booths had been set up, with every local restaurant owner participating.

  As she got out of the car, the first of the day’s music acts was warming up on the bandstand. The familiar sight made her think of another day just like this one when she’d watched Connor play from a blanket on the grass. At eighteen, she’d been a sucker for his love songs. That night, they’d made love by the river. It hadn’t been nearly as romantic as she’d imagined it would be. The grass had been wet and cold and uncomfortable, and they’d both been a little drunk, a little too caught up in some springtime magic and a lot of teenage lust.

  “Mom?” Justin’s impatient voice brought her back to the present. “Are you coming?”

  She looked away from the bandstand, away from the past. “Yes,” she said, moving around the car as her father and Gabe joined them. Within minutes, her father saw some friends and quickly disappeared, leaving her with Justin and Gabe.

  Justin seemed to have a good case of hero worship, and she couldn’t really blame him. Gabe had a presence that couldn’t be denied. Walking by his side through the carnival, she couldn’t help noticing the attention they were drawing, and for the first time in a long time, she didn’t think anyone was really looking at her. It was Gabe they were curious about. He was a ruggedly attractive man who walked with a sense of purpose, of command. Gabe was a born leader, and it was clear that more than a few ladies in town wanted to follow. But for the moment, Gabe seemed more interested in winning Justin a prize.

  “Which one do you want to play?” Gabe asked Justin.

  “The biggest prizes are over there.” Justin pointed to the shooting booth.

  Gabe gave her a questioning look. “How do you feel about that?”

  “It’s your money.”

  “All right,” he said, pulling out a dollar bill and setting it down on the counter. As soon as he picked up the gun, he went from man to marine. It might have been only a carnival game, but Gabe aimed and fired with absolute precision, hitting the bull’s-eye six times in a row.