Out of Time (Out of Line #2) (Volume 2)

by Jen McLaughlin

  I nodded. “This man will give you a ride, if you’d like. He’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  “Bless you.” The man shook Hernandez’s hand. “Bless you.”

  Hernandez inclined his head. “I’m always willing to help out a fellow member of the military, sir.”

  After the arrangements were made for the man to remain where he was and wait for Hernandez to come back, we went into the airport. He shook his head. “Coram wasn’t kidding about you wanting to save the world and everyone in it, was he?”

  I flushed. “I wouldn’t say that. I just like to help.”

  “You’re going to school to be a therapist, right?”

  “Yeah.” I smiled and swiped my card down the slot for the baggage claim and ticket printout. “It’s a good fit for me.”

  “I believe that.” He set the baggage on the scale and watched as I checked in and paid. Once I was finished, he held out his right hand. “Well, have a nice trip. I’ll be here waiting for you, if Coram’s not stateside yet.”

  “Thanks, Hernandez.” I shook his hand and laughed at myself. “I have to stop calling you that. Your name is Joe, right?”

  “Yeah. Well, Joseph.” He dropped my hand. “But Coram calls me Hernandez, so it makes sense for you to do the same.”

  “Well, goodbye, Joseph.” I waved. “See you later. Don’t forget about our double date.”

  “I won’t.” He pointed at me and backed toward the door. “Now get through that gate so I can give that guy a ride home. He’s been waiting long enough.”

  I laughed and left, a smile on my face. He turned and walked out the door, his steps sure and powerful. He looked pretty darn good leaving, too. Even I had to admit it.

  Marie was going to love him.

  The next morning, I rolled over slowly, knowing when I opened my eyes that I’d be alone. Utterly, horribly alone in my parents’ house. I closed my eyes, trying to hold on to how wonderful that last night with Finn had felt. I wanted to remember the way I’d felt after we made love—close and naked. And so freaking happy.

  I did it every morning.

  Then every morning, reality came crashing back down on me. It sucked.

  I reached up and fingered the sun pendant I hadn’t taken off since “Christmas morning” when Finn had given it to me. I still had no idea when he’d be home. I missed him so much it actually hurt. It was like I had this big, gaping hole inside of me that oozed pus and blood until I felt I couldn’t go on anymore. I just wanted to hurry up through Thanksgiving and Christmas and get to the part when Finn came home.

  My parents knew something was up with me. They kept bugging me and asking me why I was so silent, and I kept blowing it off. I wanted to tell them it was because I was missing a piece of me, but I couldn’t.

  I’d promised Finn I would wait for him, so I was. It still stunk.

  Last night, I’d hung out with Finn’s dad for a little while. He didn’t know about Finn and me, but we used to hang out when I was younger, so he didn’t question why I wanted to play chess with him last night.

  He was trying to hide it from me, but I could see he was sick. I had a horrible feeling it was his heart or something like that. His skin was a pasty gray that couldn’t possibly be healthy. Most of his duties had been delegated to younger men in the squad. Dad kept talking to him in low voices, and on top of that? He looked worried.

  My dad. Worried.

  If that wasn’t bad, I didn’t know what was. It made me want to demand he tell Finn, but I didn’t have that right. Not yet. He might be fighting as hard as he could, but Finn deserved to know. I’d almost emailed him about it last night, but then I deleted it.

  It didn’t seem like something I should tell him over an email. We’d promised no lies or secrets, but I didn’t even know for sure if his dad was sick.

  I sat up and shoved the blankets down to my feet. I’d get an answer out of him soon, one way or the other. Tomorrow was the Annual Wallington Holiday Dinner, which was like Thanksgiving and Christmas rolled in to one. All of the house staff and security guards ate with the family at this party.

  Dad and Mom always bestowed bonuses and gifts upon everyone, and the booze flowed freely. It was my favorite dinner of the year. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I had my phone in my hand. My heart skipped a beat when I saw I had an email from Finn. I opened it with excitement, eager for my dose of Finn.

  Hey, Ginger.

  It’s hot here, and it makes me think of the cold ocean water in Cali. It’s been a long day, and all I want to do is sleep, but I have to pull an all-nighter.

  Remind me to show you my latest cheerleading move when I’m home. Camp’s been fun because the sun is always shining.

  See you soon,

  Susan

  I closed my eyes and fell back against the bed, my phone clutched to my chest. Every time I heard from Finn I relaxed for a few hours, because I knew he was alive and well. Then, a few hours later, I’d start worrying again.

  But right now, directly after contact, was the highlight of my day. He was okay and so was I.

  I smiled and typed a quick reply to him telling him I was sleeping well—even though I wasn’t—and I told him it was sunny here, too. After I hit send, I nibbled my lower lip and looked outside. It was cloudy and gray and the snow was coming down so heavily you couldn’t even see the driveway.

  Sunny, indeed.

  Last night, I’d asked Dad about his relationship with Larry—poked and prodded a little. Turned out Joseph—as I was now calling him in my head—was right. He and Larry were close friends. This only confirmed my suspicions.

  Dad wouldn’t screw over his friend. He might be a politician and controlling in a creepy way, but he wasn’t that kind of guy. Dad wouldn’t take away his friend’s bonus. As soon as Finn came home, I’d tell him. It would remove one more worry from over his head.

  I’d also found out some more about the commanding officer that sent Finn overseas—who was actually coming to dinner tomorrow night. He always did.

  But Dad had been talking about visiting Arnold when he’d come to see me, and then he’d told me that Arnold was in charge of getting high-detailed security for important politicians and politicians’ families.

  Is that what Finn was doing over there…wherever over there was? Guarding a politician? That didn’t sound too dangerous. I mean, it’s what he did for me.

  I liked the idea of him following some rich snob around Europe. It was safer than the nightmares that plagued me every night. A knock sounded at the door and I lifted my head to call out, “Come in.”

  “It’s me,” Mom said, peeking her head inside before opening the door all the way. Her faded red hair was pulled back impeccably in a tight bun, and her light green eyes sought me out. “Are you dressed?”

  Her reactions never failed to make me smile. Did she really think I’d tell her to come in if I was naked on the bed? “Yeah, Mom. I’m dressed.”

  She came in and closed the door behind her. Tinkerbell, Mom’s little terrier, whined from the hallway. “Tomorrow night’s the Wallington Annual Holiday Dinner.”

  I almost rolled my eyes at how she used the official name for it, but held back.

  “I know.” I slipped my phone under my pillow in case Finn wrote back. I mean, he used the name Susan—he’d even created a SusanCheers@gmail.com account to stay in character—but I still didn’t like to risk it. I sat up and hugged my knees, resting my chin on them. “Dad reminded me last night.”

  “I got you a new dress for it.” She reached out and smoothed her hand down my head in the way she always did when I was upset. I was trying to act all happy and cheery, but it was hard when a piece of me was gone. “We’re going to have some extra guests, too.”

  “Okay…” I rolled my head her way. “Who?”
<
br />   “Arnold and his family, the Christensons,” Mom turned her head and stared out the window, “and the Stapletons.”

  Why did that name sound familiar?

  “Sounds nice.” I wiggled my toes and sighed. “Do you need help setting anything up?”

  She laughed, seeming to be relieved about something. “No, we hired temporary help so the normal help could relax before the big event.”

  Ha. Only in my life would that sentence make total sense.

  Finn would’ve laughed at that, too. My heart panged, and the happiness I’d found moments before simply faded. “Mom, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.” She crossed her legs and perched on the edge of my bed. “What is on your mind? Are you finally ready to talk?”

  She wore a flawless pair of black dress pants and a light pink satin top. She looked every inch the lady. As a kid, I’d always wondered if I would turn out like her. If I would end up being soft spoken yet strong. Kind yet stern. Always the lady.

  I didn’t think I would anymore. It wasn’t me.

  “If I loved someone who wasn’t from our normal crowd, would you approve?” I met her eyes, curling my hands over my calves. “If he made me happy, would you accept him?”

  She pressed her lips together. “I don’t know, dear. It would depend on the boy, I guess.” She turned to me, bending and sticking her foot underneath of her thigh. “Why? Are you seeing someone you don’t think we’d approve of?”

  “No, not exactly.” I shook my head. “I like a guy who isn’t from our world. He’s not a Christenson or a Wallington.”

  Mom nodded slowly. “Would he make your father’s campaign look bad?”

  “I don’t think so, no.” Finn’s words echoed in my head. He’d said he wouldn’t fit in on the stage with us, with his tattoos and his motorcycle, but I didn’t care about that. “He’s not a criminal or anything.”

  Mom sighed and rested her hand on my back. “Life is hard, and sometimes the heart doesn’t make much sense. Sometimes it knows best, and other times it’s wrong. You have to pay attention and decide when it’s right and when it’s off. If you’re questioning our acceptance of this boy, chances are this time it’s off and you know it.”

  “Mom.” I stood up and spun on her. “That’s not true. It’s not wrong.”

  “Are you sure about that?” She stood as well, remaining perfectly poised. “If you weren’t uncertain, you wouldn’t even have to ask. You’d just introduce us to this boy, and you’d be certain we would like him. Let’s count the ways this doesn’t add up.”

  “It’s not that. I—”

  “Hm. Let’s see.” She counted off on her fingers as she said, “Instead of telling us you have a boyfriend, you hide him and pretend he’s not real. Then you ask me if I’d like him even if he wasn’t one of us, whatever that means. Then you tell me the heart is right, even though it’s not.”

  She had a point, but I wasn’t hiding him because of what she said. I was hiding him because of his job, and because he wasn’t here.

  But I couldn’t tell her that, could I?

  “It’s right and you’ll see it.” I put my hands on my hips. “When I’m ready to tell you about it, that is.”

  “I’ll look forward to that time.” Her chin lifted. “Until then, I’ll assume we won’t like your boy, because you won’t tell us who he is.” Mom sighed and walked to my side, not even narrowing her eyes or acting the slightest bit angry. “If he makes you happy, we’ll like him.”

  I nodded. “Then get ready to knit us matching sweaters for Christmas.”

  “Good.” She inclined her head toward my closet. “The dress I bought you is in your closet. I had Frances put it in there this morning.”

  “Thanks,” I said stiffly.

  She started to walk away, but then stopped again. “You know, I’m not a snob. You seem to think I am. I’ve just been around a lot longer than you have. I’ve seen a lot more than you, and I know how the world works.”

  “Maybe I want to change the world,” I said, lifting my chin.

  “Maybe you will.”

  And with that, she opened the door and left with Tinkerbell trailing behind her, like always.

  I hated this fucking place. All I’d done for the past three weeks was eat sand, get shot at, almost get blown up twice, and miss Carrie. I walked around like some lovesick fucker who didn’t know how to live without a woman at his side.

  And even worse? I was absolutely that fucking guy. And this assignment sucked donkey balls.

  I’d been given three hours of down time, and I had every intention of using it to sleep and dream of her—even if it was seven o’clock at night. When you only got a handful of hours to sleep on any given day, you took them when you got them.

  I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was with her. We were laying side by side, our hands touching and her ankle thrown over my calf like she always did in her sleep. Or maybe we were about to get ready for the big Wallington Annual Holiday Dinner.

  I think that was today or tomorrow…

  I’d kind of lost track of time lately. All the days blended into one long, drawn out nightmare. It would have been the perfect night to tell everyone we loved each other. We would all be together, with the normal social hierarchy gone.

  We could have stood up, entwined hands, and announced our love for each other. I would look her father in the eye and assure him that I would never hurt Carrie…

  Knock, knock, knock.

  “Come in,” I called out, sitting up straight and rubbing my eyes. Had I dozed off for a second there? It felt like it. “I’m up.”

  Dotter popped his blond head in through the crack of the door. “We’re getting word of a disturbance up north about a mile. We have to go check it out.”

  I was on my feet within seconds, shrugging into my bulletproof vest. “Yes, sir.”

  He closed the door and I stomped into my boots, then grabbed my helmet off my bare bunk. I was halfway to the door before I realized I didn’t have the most important item with me. I crossed the room and snatched Carrie’s photo from under my pillow, tucking it securely inside my vest—next to my dog tags and over my heart.

  As I walked out the door and nodded at my superior, he came to my side. “I heard a rumor we might be going home soon.”

  I stopped walking. “She’s done exploring the rough and tough Middle East already?”

  He snorted and opened the door. “I guess so. When she heard there was another disturbance she said maybe she would return home for the holidays. We might be stateside for Christmas.”

  I grinned. “That’s the best news I’ve gotten all month.”

  “I hear ya, Coram.” He slid into the Humvee and started the engine. I climbed up beside him, cocking my rifle and looking out the window. “Do you have a girl waiting for you back home?”

  “Yeah.” I closed my eyes for only a fraction of a second, picturing Carrie’s sweet smile. I opened them when we pulled forward and onto the makeshift road. “You?”

  “A wife and two kids.” He drummed his thumbs on the wheel. “If I could be home for Christmas for once, I’d be quite happy.”

  “I’m sure they would be, too, sir.” I scanned the shadows for any movement, but all was quiet on the western front. Okay, maybe that was a bad analogy to make when I was in this fucking place. “God willing, she’ll realize she did enough pilgrimage and we’ll be all set to go home for the holidays.”

  “From your lips to God’s ears,” Dotter said.

  “I’m not seeing anything.” I looked over my shoulder. “What was supposedly seen here?”

  “We had a report of a suspicious blue vehicle, lurking by the entrance of the compound. And someone heard some loud booms.” He shrugged. “Out here, that’s not exactly the weirdes
t thing in the world.”

  “Damn straight.” I kept looking. Nothing. “I think we can head back, sir.”

  “I think you’re right, but, first, let’s go west a little more.”

  I nodded and turned back out the window, watching for any signs of life. But in my head, I offered up a silent prayer that God had been listening earlier. That we were going home early, and that this nightmare would be over.

  But most of all? I prayed we walked away from this fucking mess alive.

  Carrie

  The night of the party, I stood in front of the mirror and smoothed the maroon satin over the tulle that made it poof out underneath. Mom had picked the dress, and it so wasn’t my style, but I wore it anyway. She’d gone through the trouble of finding it, so the least I could do was wear it once before I donated it to charity.

  I looked at the necklace she’d bought for me to wear with it, but I didn’t pick it up. If I wore that, I’d have to take off Finn’s necklace, and that wasn’t something I was willing to do. Not even for Mom.

  I picked up the necklace she bought and shoved it inside the drawer by my bed. Then I went back to the mirror and studied my reflection. I looked tired and miserable. There were humongous bags under my eyes, and my cheeks looked hollowed out a little, too, no matter how much blush I applied.

  But besides that, I guess I looked okay.

  The dress was pretty. My hair was swept into a pretty updo that Marie had coached me through, and I had soft pink lip gloss on my lips. I picked up my phone and snapped a picture, then sent it off in an email to Finn.

  He would like this dress. It looked easy enough to remove.

  I waited to see if I got a reply, but none came. That wasn’t a huge surprise. Communication from him was sparse at best, but I ached to get something from him. Anything. It was the only way I had of keeping track of him.