A Vampire's Promise

by Carla Susan Smith

  I was scorching, and completely unaware I had the front of his damp T-shirt in my hand until I saw the dark material clutched in my fingers. I pulled, and he let me take his mouth, offering no resistance. Hot and angry, I sated my fury. Kissing him with a barely controlled violence I didn’t know I was capable of. My tongue thrust inside him and I could feel myself shaking as uncontrollable need swept through me. I was about to sink my teeth into his lower lip, wanting to taste blood, when I pulled back, horrified.

  This wasn’t me.

  I don’t behave like this.

  I tried turning my head, but Gabriel was having none of it. His fingers snagged themselves in my hair, twisting until I had no choice but to look at him.

  “My turn,” he growled.

  Before I could protest, he slanted his mouth over mine. I braced myself, expecting his kiss to be brutal and vicious, but instead he destroyed me with a tenderness that I wasn’t prepared for and didn’t deserve. When he let me go, his tongue making a final sweep over my lips, I was dizzy and breathless. Untangling his fingers from my hair, Gabriel moved away, his eyes never leaving my face.

  “I-I don’t understand you,” I said in a trembling voice. “Why are you doing this to me?”

  “Rowan, do you think what I feel for you is only a shallow, base lust?” His eyes flooded with uncertainty, and this time I really did see doubt.

  Intuitively I knew if I pushed him away, he would leave and I would never see him again. Instead of telling myself that’s what I wanted, I felt hollow, as if I was on the verge of discarding something whose value was beyond my comprehension. I put a hand to my throat and said nothing, because I thought he was able to read my face again.

  “I don’t blame you for supposing such a thing,” he said quietly, his expression changing to one of resigned acceptance. “And I understand why you would believe me insincere, but I swear to you, it was never my intention to hurt you.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “I already told you . . . I cannot stay away from you.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck, and I was struck again by how tired he looked. Only I didn’t think it was a physical weariness. He’d been battling some inner demon, and in the depths of his eyes I saw a shadow move, revealing something I hadn’t seen before. Loneliness that was on the verge of consuming him.

  “But . . . why me?” I asked. I had given my insecurities free rein, and they were now running at full bore. “You could have any beautiful woman.” I thought of the exotic Katja. “I’m no one.”

  Gabriel snarled, but it wasn’t a mean, threatening sound. It sounded more like frustrated desperation. Dropping his hand from his neck, he fixed me with a look before saying, “You are all I want, all I need. With you my life is . . . possible.”

  It was that simple. Eloquently put, his words punched inside me, reaching an emotional chord that went far deeper than any physical appetite.

  “But you said I wouldn’t want you . . . not if I knew the truth.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you still think that?”

  “The world I live in is very different from anything you have ever known, Rowan. My only thought at the time I spoke those words was for your protection. I thought, if I distanced myself from you, it would keep you safe. I never took into account the strength of the connection I have with you.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I tried to stay away, Rowan; believe me, I tried, but I found it impossible.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, and I watched the movement of his chest as he took a deep breath, steadying himself. “I have no right to ask anything of you, and if you want me to leave, then you must say so. Tell me to go and I give you my word you will never see me again.”

  My rib cage compressed and my stomach twisted. It was my turn to make a decision, and I didn’t need three months to do it. My heart had made it the moment I saw him at my door. It had just taken my head a little longer to catch up. Whatever the truth was about Gabriel, whatever existed in his world that he thought I needed protecting from, I would accept and deal with it. He wasn’t the only one who had been hurting.

  “I don’t want you to leave,” I told him, my voice a barely audible, husky whisper.

  The shadow in his eyes vanished, replaced by something else. Whether it was relief or hope, I couldn’t say.

  “Are you sure?” he murmured, taking a step toward me. “I need you to be certain that this—that I—am what you want.”

  I had the sense that he was asking me something that went deeper, was more meaningful, but my brain had been through enough for one night. My ability to search for hidden meanings was temporarily lost, and it was more than ready to hitch a ride to Clueless Land. I wasn’t sure about anything, but I trusted my instincts. And they told me this was right. I belonged with Gabriel.

  “The only things you can be certain about are death and taxes,” I said, giving him a wry grin, “but if you’re asking me to take a chance, then yes, I will—only,” I paused, “why would you think I wouldn’t want you?” He might not be able to pick up on every emotion I was throwing his way, but surely he could still read how I felt about him?

  “Because I wonder,” he said, taking my hand, “if you went back to the very beginning, would you have come searching for me again?”

  The silence between us was deafening, and the feeling of déjà vu returned. Only it didn’t feel so strange this time. Whatever Gabriel was referring to was hidden somewhere inside that feeling.

  “I wish I knew what you were talking about,” I told him, “because I think it’s important, but I have to tell you that right now you’re making absolutely no sense.” Clueless Land was rapidly expanding into the continent of the Completely Lost in the Dark.

  “You need to know the truth about me, Rowan, what I am—”

  “No, I don’t, not right now.” I held up my hand and stopped him. I was balanced on a razor-thin wire, and it took all I had not to fall off. “There’s only one issue that’s important right now, and I need you to be truthful with me.”

  “Of course, ask me anything.”

  “Wife, girlfriend, or significant other?”

  The sudden, utter confusion on his face made me want to laugh aloud.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Do you have one?”

  Gabriel shook his head of glorious, white hair. “No, of course not.”

  “Positive?”

  He looked hurt that I was questioning his integrity. “Rowan, I’ve not wanted another woman since the first time I saw you. I never have.”

  “That’s good to know,” I whispered.

  He let go of my hand and clutched his forehead as though he’d just been afflicted with a brain freeze. Pursing his lips, he blew out a breath. For all intents and purposes, he looked like a man who desperately wanted to speak but was afraid his words would be the wrong ones.

  Welcome to the club.

  I didn’t want to waste any more time in pointless conversation. It would be an exercise in futility that accomplished nothing. What was about to happen between us right here, right now, was not going to be achieved with words. Unless they were all single syllables used for instructional purposes along with some heavy-duty physical contact. My hands literally itched to get beneath his wet clothing and touch his body.

  Something in my life, my luckless romantic aspirations, my failure to successfully seduce a man, had all been pushing me toward this moment. Gabriel was to be my first, perhaps my only lover. I don’t know how I knew this or what turn of fate’s cosmic wheel had made it so, but it was true. I had known it eighty-seven nights ago on my front porch, and the conviction was even stronger now. I made it to the staircase before Gabriel’s voice stopped me.

  “Give yourself to me, Rowan, and you will take no other.”

  I don’t know if other girls have experienced such a declaration, but it didn’t surprise me coming from him. I was almost expecting it, even if I wasn’t completely sure I understood all the implications. G
abriel was telling me exactly what was going to happen. What his intentions were, just in case I hadn’t been paying attention.

  I heard myself reply, saying the words that would change my life forever. I just had no idea to what extent.

  “Then make me want no other.”

  CHAPTER 19

  I unpinned my hair, letting it tumble around my shoulders, before unzipping my risqué witch costume and sliding it down over my hips. The fishnets, amazing push-up bra, and panties quickly followed. I pulled back the covers and got into bed, lying on my side facing away from the door. I didn’t hear Gabriel come up the stairs, but I knew the moment he entered the room, even though he crossed the hardwood floor without a sound. I knew because the muscles in my belly clenched.

  The splat of his sodden T-shirt hitting the floor was unnaturally loud, and the metallic clink of his belt buckle made the breath catch in my throat. There was a soft scrape of wet denim down skin, and then I felt a whisper of cold air as he lifted the covers and slid beneath them. I reached to turn off the bedside lamp, but he stayed my arm.

  “Please don’t. I want to look at you.”

  I closed my eyes and swallowed, pulling my hand back and sliding it under the pillow. For what seemed the longest time there was nothing but the sound of our breathing. A steady, rhythmic inhale-exhale as I accustomed myself to Gabriel’s presence in my bed. I felt his fingers stroking my shoulder, caressing the skin lightly as he explored the contours of my body. Sweeping his hand down my arm, he let his fingers jump off at my elbow and fall into the dip of my waist before traveling up over my hip. I couldn’t stop trembling, and I prayed he could tell the difference between fear and anticipation.

  Pushing aside my hair, Gabriel pressed his lips against my skin, covering the back of my shoulder with light, warm kisses. His hand grasped me lightly, rolling me toward him. His eyes swept over me, glowing in the soft light with the same iridescent shimmer I’d seen when he stood beneath my porch light.

  “You are more beautiful than I ever imagined,” he whispered, moving so that he was now above me.

  Bearing his weight on his forearms, he leaned down and kissed me in a sweet, unhurried explosion of need. It felt like he was kissing me for the first time.

  “Dear God . . . ,” I murmured, my voice a hoarse rasp when he finally released my lips.

  Clutching his upper arms, I unconsciously arched my back, pushing myself up against him. I felt the flush of heat spread throughout my body as his forefinger stroked my cheek.

  “I want you so much,” he told me, his mouth against my temple, “and I’ve been waiting so long to be here.”

  I had become a virgin in every sense of the word, feeling as if I had never been with a man before, had no awareness of what the male body looked like nude, had never felt muscle and bone flexing and moving beneath my hands. And I suppose with Gabriel it was all true. I’d certainly never been with a man like him before.

  The width of his shoulders threatened to dwarf me, while the muscles of his chest and abdomen created their own shadows as the light played over his body. Captivated by the velvet smoothness of his skin and the glossy silkiness of his hair, I drank in every inch of him that I could see and allowed my imagination to paint me a picture of what I could only feel. All the pitiful fumbling and wretched attempts at coupling that were the sum of my experience had been wiped away with a single kiss.

  “I’m not sure what to do,” I whispered, as a string of panic began to twist and knot inside me.

  Gabriel smiled down at me, his hair falling like snow. “Let me take you where you want to go,” he murmured in his silky, melting voice.

  “But I don’t know where that is.” Anxiety made me sound fretful.

  “Don’t worry”—he kissed the corner of my mouth—“I do.”

  Bunching his shoulders, he held himself up on powerful arms. His biceps flexed, and his eyes reflected something I recognized, something I had seen in them before. A longing that had been waiting a lifetime to be fulfilled.

  “I’m going to apologize now because I may forget to do so in the heat of the moment.” A crease appeared on his smooth brow. “But this first time will be painful for you.”

  I returned his gaze and nodded, unable to say anything. I wasn’t sure if being forewarned was helpful or not. In any case, it wasn’t something either of us could prevent happening. And despite my own efforts to lock it down, anxiety returned and began spiraling through me. No matter how much I told myself I wanted this, wanted Gabriel to be the first to ever take me, my muscles trembled and my heart pounded, making the blood rush through me. I was terrified I’d disappoint him.

  “You won’t,” he whispered in my ear.

  His hair swept erotically over my skin as his tongue traced a path from my throat to my navel, and back up again. Cupping a breast in one hand, Gabriel rubbed his thumb lightly over my nipple. I almost jumped off the bed as it stiffened under his touch. I have pleasured my own body, stroked myself with my hands and fingers, but it was never like this. I almost climaxed when he took me in his mouth, scraping my nipple lightly with his teeth, before suckling me. I dropped my hands to his sides, wanting to touch him as well, return some of the same pleasure, but he would not allow it.

  “Not this time,” he told me with a wolfish grin, “this time the pleasure is for you . . . and it is all mine to give.”

  Dropping his head, he continued to feast on me. I was drenched in an overload of sensation, every inch of my body becoming a slavish receptor for his touch. The warmth of his breath made my flesh dance; the sweep of his tongue teased me to heights I’d never scaled before. Moving a hand down over my hip, he applied a slight pressure at the juncture of my thighs and slipped his finger between the folds of skin, persuading me to open for him.

  My own slick heat eased his finger inside me, and I shuddered with uncontrollable pleasure as he began sliding in and out. A second finger followed, increasing the heat and my own wetness, encouraging my body to open wider for him. I groaned, scraping my teeth over my lower lip as I shuddered, my own fingers digging into his upper arm with enough force to make him pause, concern written all over his face.

  “Am I hurting you?”

  I stared at him, my eyes no doubt wild, and shook my head frantically. I was so close to coming I didn’t know whether to beg him to push me over the edge or let me ride out the exquisite torture for as long as I was able to. Feeling the surge of my body beneath his, Gabriel smiled. It was a sensuous lift of his lips that created its own set of tremors running through me, and he moved his hand again, his thumb finding my sweet spot. Unable to stop myself, I gasped, bunching the sheet in my hand as every muscle in my body tensed and he took me over the edge with just a few strokes.

  I tried twisting away from him as the intensity of my orgasm ripped through me, but there was no escape. My body was one huge path of carnal sensitivity, and Gabriel’s touch sent every nerve ending on a roller-coaster ride of erotic pleasure.

  I had no idea I could feel so good.

  He kissed me, deep and hungry, and I responded with my own hunger. Wrapping my arms tightly about his neck, I drew his tongue inside my mouth, nipping playfully at his lower lip as I did so. He groaned and settled himself between my thighs, making me open my legs wider to accommodate his hips. His cock was throbbing hot and hard against my belly, but I could feel his hesitation.

  “It’s all right,” I told him, wishing my voice didn’t sound quite so strained. “I want this . . . and I want it to be you.”

  Pushing himself up on his arms, his eyes never leaving mine as he locked his elbows, he lifted his hips and thrust into me with one smooth stroke.

  Oh . . . sweet Jesus Christ!

  Punching through my virginal membrane, Gabriel muscled his way inside me. The pain washing through me had a flavor uniquely its own, unlike anything I had ever felt before and never would again. Flesh and muscle stretched to accommodate him, pushed to the point that I was certain something would tear. />
  He was too big . . . I couldn’t take him . . . this was destined to be another failure.

  Moving above me, Gabriel carefully unlocked his elbows and lowered his upper torso until his weight rested on his forearms.

  “Rowan, look at me.” I did as he instructed, unaware I’d closed my eyes. “Good, now . . . breathe.”

  “What?”

  “Breathe, nice and slow. Take a breath.” I did as he asked. “Now . . . can you feel me?”

  Feel him? Was he crazy? He was the only thing I could feel. My eyes must have telegraphed my thoughts because he smiled and repeated himself.

  “Can you feel all of me?”

  I gave a gasp of surprise as I grasped the distinction. He was flush against me, skin to skin; I had taken all of him inside my body. As he rocked his hips gently, I felt his balls brush against my ass. My body had adjusted to him; now it was up to my mind to follow suit. “Yeah . . . I can feel you.”

  “Are you sure?” He moved deep inside me.

  “Oh yeah, I’m sure.”

  Slowly Gabriel pulled back, leaving a slippery burn as he withdrew. As he slid forward again, I could feel the slickness that coated him, a slickness produced by me, and suddenly his presence wasn’t so invasive. It was as if I’d been waiting for him, and now that he’d taken possession, I yielded readily, greedily wrapping myself around him. My ears filled with the sound of a low, sexy purr that erupted from the back of my throat as a rippling heat coursed through me.

  Gabriel answered with a rumble of his own. “Lift your legs higher, put them around my waist.”

  I gasped sharply as another wave of pain stung me, but it was forgotten almost immediately when I felt him go deeper. And deeper was better. There was a pounding I could feel, coming in waves, and bringing with it the most incredible sensation. I needed him to keep moving.

  Sensing my heat rising, Gabriel increased the driving rhythm of his hips. His skin became slippery, not just inside me but outside as well, and my hands kept sliding down his arms. For the first time in my life I was grateful for the gene pool that enabled me to lock my ankles together as I wrapped my long legs around him. With my heels pressing into the small of his back, I concentrated on the pulse drumming wildly at the base of his throat.