“I thought you might have it, but no?” I start to panic again. I can’t live without my cell. Where the hell is it?
Elise frowns annoyed. “No. I came to take you to mine for a few days. You need a break. You’re not in the right frame of mind, and here, you won’t get better. I’m going inside to get some things for you and we’ll leave right away. I knew I should have intervened months ago."
I don't have to say anything, she locks me in her car and runs up towards my house and is back within moments with my small pink suitcase.
"I just grabbed you some bare necessities and I’ll call your works for you so don’t worry about anything. That Okay?"
"Thank you." I smile warmly, meaning it from my heart. Elise taking care of me is what she always has done. I can tell she’s angry with something but it’s not me.
We get around two miles away from my home when I ask Elise if I can use her cellphone.
“I need to call Tyler, if I don’t answer he’ll have a hissy fit.”
Elise chuckles at the thought. “He’s already called me. Here.” She passes me her cell.
Tyler talks before I do when he answers. “Elise? Have you found her yet?”
Just as I suspected Tyler would have had all sorts of crazy scenarios in his mind to why I wasn’t answering his calls. “Ty, it’s me.”
“Olivia!” he gasps. “Why the fuck haven’t you been answering your god damn phone? All sorts have been running through my mind. You could have been human trafficked for all I knew.”
Just as I expected.
“Ty, don’t exaggerate, I lost it my cell, besides what’s wrong?”
I can sense him shaking out any crazy thoughts he had now he knows I'm safe and I can hear him place his cell on loudspeaker. Where is he?
“I wanted to see how you were. I'm on my way back to New York.”
Oh! Already? I wish he would stay here. He makes my life so much more bearable when he is. But that’s selfish of me.
“That was quick, I hardly got to see you. And I’m alright Ty, well I'm not but it’s better to pretend I guess.”
Tyler moans his agreement that he wasn’t home for long, but he has a life. Even if I don’t.
“I know honey, I'm sorry. What the hell happened last night? I don’t believe it. Calvin is back and with that oversized titage women.”
Titage? Oh he must be talking about her breasts. Elise speaks before I do. “I wouldn’t read too much into that. That women set that up, I guarantee it.”
“I don’t see how.” Tyler adds, “She didn’t force Calvin to come and meet her. What the hell did she have on anyway? She looked like a fucking canary!”
I can’t deal with him. Sometimes he makes me feel worse even if he doesn’t intend to, but he’s right. She didn’t force Calvin to meet her.
I talk to Tyler a little more and tell him I will come and visit him in New York on the weekend. He pleased as punch so I can’t let him down.
It will be nice. I may see if Madison want’s to come along. I miss her.
Chapter Six*
Elise’s home is out in the wilderness, near forests. It’s so quiet and peaceful, not too far from the city but far enough for it to be tranquil. I’m so grateful for her right now.
I stay silent for the whole car journey down to Elise and Dante’s home. I stare out of the window like a zombie. I just don't have the energy to hold a conversation.
Elise is fully aware that there is so much going on inside my head right now so she doesn’t push me for one. She's so understanding.
I honestly don’t think I can cry any more than I have. How have I even got anymore tears left? I feel like I have nothing more to give. No more words. No more actions. No more tears.
It's late when we arrive, and the house looks stunning all lit up in the dark. Her driveway is about half a mile long surrounded by woodland. You can hear wildlife in the distance. It really is beautiful here. It's not a huge house but it's not small either. It's more like a chateau if I had to describe it. Elise and Dante bought the land first and had it built from scratch just the way they like it. She and Dante have done a brilliant job. Not that I can imagine Dante having much input. Elise likes to have full control with things like this. It has Elise all over it, not too over the top, unique, warm and peaceful.
We get inside and the smell of oak wood hits me pleasantly.
She helps me get settled in the quest room upstairs. It's lacy and bright. All creams and whites, so clean and serene.
"You want me to fetch you anything?" She asks rubbing my arm for comfort as I sit on the bed.
"No thanks, I’m good." Trying to reassure her. “I’ll be down in a bit."
"Okay Livs, I’ll let you unpack." She takes another sympathetic look at me then leaves me to it when she's happy.
I start to unpack my things in the white sand washed antique chest of draws. The room is just big enough for the single bed, the chest of draws and a small dresser, it's perfect for me. I can’t believe I’m actually unpacking.
When I’m done I sit down on the dresser chair and look out of the window. It’s too dark to see anything, so I stare at raindrops running down the glass.
I can't let this get me down anymore but it is. Constantly.
I need to clear my head here and try to see this as a fresh start for when I get back.
I try to stay positive in my mind but it’s instantly banished by negative. I need so many questions answered, which it would seem I will never get. I hate that I’m in two frames of mind. How can I move on from Calvin when in a way I don't want to? It feels too soon and I still love him. I want to ask him so many things, if not to get back together, even though I want that more than anything, but just for closure. Why did he bother with me at all? Organizing romantic days and nights for me. Spending all his time with me. Taking me to his grans when he has never done that before with any women, yet he doesn’t love me? Then what was I to him? Why did he choose me to use when he could have had his pick. Why do it to me? I hate it that he didn’t even have the guts to call me that night he was with Georgia. Did he think that little of me? Or did he ring? I have no idea because I have no damn phone.
Now my mom tells me that my real dad was in fact murdered. I know I didn't know him but the thought of being lied to for so many years is wounding, completely deceitful. Why would she keep that from me? To protect me? Or protect herself? How was he murdered? And who by?
So many things I need to know. Why can’t I just let it go?
I head downstairs to join Elise and find her out the kitchen.
Elise’s kitchen is so homely, with signs and quotes on canvas plaques scattered around.
She has a huge farm style stove which she loves to cook on. Her kitchen has a rustic French feel to it. I love how all of her home is unique and different but at the same time it's a great family home. I bet it won't be long until I have a niece or nephew running around the place. Elise would make a great mom. That thought brightens my mood a little.
She met Dante through one of my step dad’s cousins. He's Italian also, so of course Mauricio loves him and because he's a successful business man. He couldn't wait to give them his blessing for marriage when Dante asked for permission. Not that Elise cared of course if he granted permission or not. She would rather Dante didn’t ask Mauricio for her hand at all. Mauricio was also hurt that Elise wouldn’t take a dime from him for the wedding. She did it all by herself, along with this house. She doesn’t want handouts from her dad unlike Sophia. Elise likes to work hard and likes to see the results of her hard work being paid for with her own money and her own sense of pride.
"What?" Elise asks curiously, catching me smiling to myself. I take a seat at her square wooden table with has four different types of chairs around it.
"I’m just so happy for you that's all."
She smiles surprised. "Why thank you."
"No I mean it, you deserve all this happiness."
"So do you," she says pointing a
wooden spoon at me.
"I just wish it for me one day." I sigh and Elise turns acting stunned.
"Now where's my little sister gone who once thought marriage, commitment and love was for idiots huh?"
"I know I was stupid to have lost her." I sigh with regret, twisting my fingers in my lap.
She exhales softly turning to me from the stove. "No Olivia, you fell in love and that’s not your fault, it happens whether you want it to or not."
It is my fault for letting it happen.
She turns back to the stove when I don’t look up. "Something else is bothering you isn’t it? I know it." She says without turning to look at me.
I swear she should have been a cop. I change the subject not wanting to get into it.
"Whatcha cooking, it smells good." I walk to her side to have a peak.
"These," she points with her spoon, “are going to be muffins and you’re going to help me with lasagna." She chucks me some vegetables to chop.
"Aren’t you the perfect little housewife?" I tease bumping shoulders with her as I grab the chopping knife.
"I so am." She beams. "Now get chopping."
Dante returns from home work from his Advertising firm, in his black suit and tie ensemble. He has his dark hair tied back into a pony tail. He has great hair for a man.
We sit around Elise’s small dinner table, and tuck in. The food is delicious. Elise is a brilliant cook.
"Hmm." Dante murmurs in appreciation between mouthfuls. We both giggle as he drops a bit of sauce down his chin. Typical man.
"So how long you staying for Olivia?" he asks with a mouth full of food. Elise scowls across the table at him.
"No I didn't mean it like that," he panics explaining himself.
I laugh at his worried face, waving my hand like it’s not a big deal, and speak after swallowing my food. "I know you didn't its fine, and I won’t be in your way for long."
"You’re not in the way." Elise tells me firmly glaring at Dante who shrugs clueless.
Dante is really good to my step sister. He’s a good man and that's rare to find. Obviously. The only thing they ever argue about really is the fact she doesn’t like him getting into Mauricio’s investments, which he normally does with her disapproval and behind her back. But Elise being Elise, finds out everything. He says the things he does with Mauricio are easy money whatever that means. I don’t ask questions about it, it’s not my business but I no easy money can’t be legal.
The happy couple chat about their days at work as I listen blissfully adding my opinion on things now and again.
We do the washing up when we’re finished, and Elise heads upstairs to fetch her wedding album. Dante twirls the stem of his wine glass acting sheepish when it’s just me and him. “Are you Okay?” I finally ask him.
His eyes glance up from the wine glass to mine. “Fine.”
Okay, his answer was too quick and short to be fine. I raise a quizzical eyebrow and push him. “Dante?”
He bites down onto the side of his lip before speaking in a low voice, and leans over the table towards me. “I have organized a surprise honeymoon for Elise. You know we didn’t get to have one because of work commitments,”
I burst with joy. “Oh, that’s brilliant, where and when?”
“Egypt, she wants to see the pyramids,” he answers coyly then scratches the back of his neck. “And it’s Sunday morning.”
I go to smile then it falls realizing why he wanted to know how long I was staying for. That explains his uneasiness.
“Dante, that’s completely fine. I will go home Saturday night. And don’t look so worried, I will tell her I want to go. I can’t stay here forever anyway.” Even though I would if I could. I make sure I sound as confident as I can because they need this break. Their belated honeymoon.
He deflates feeling relieved no doubt. “It’s a secret though, right.” He quickly adds.
“It's safe with me.” I grin
We take Elise’s wedding album upstairs in to the room I’m staying in with our freshly made muffins. I haven’t seen any photos, only the ones I snapped myself. I flick through the photo album feeling overjoyed seeing them all. The beautiful photos and the wonderful blushing bride are stunning. The only time I stopped grinning was when I saw one of Mauricio.
It's so nice to take my mind off things for a few hours. I know Elise is doing this on purpose for me and it helps. I’m not sure whether to let her know what my mom said though. I’m still confused about it myself and I don't want to confuse her as well. She obviously knows nothing about it. I’m not sure how she would react.
"Elise, how did your mom die?" I ask being careful to act cautious. We had this conversation before and I thought it was leading somewhere before my mom interrupted us about her dinner party.
She shuts the photo album. "It was a supposed car accident remember. My dad says it was karma for leaving us, and I hate that he said that."
I frown not quite understandin. "So why you are not allowed to talk about it?"
"That’s a good question right? He hates her for what she did, so doesn’t want her name being mentioned. He said another car collided with hers, but the other car wasn’t found at the scene."
"You’re joking?"
"Nope, it makes you think doesn’t it?"
“Of what?”
"Was it set up?"
I have a small thwarted feeling in my chest about what she's insinuating.
"The look on your face Olivia, you think it too?"
I think for a moment. "Your dad wouldn’t have done that Elise, surly he had nothing to do with it?" I’m unsure to whether or not I believe my own theory.
She sighs looking up to the ceiling. "You know, I wouldn’t put it past him. She left him Olivia, but she loved me and Sophia dearly so she must have had to have a good reason to leave. My theory is that he hated that she left. He hated that she betrayed him, that she wasn’t in his control anymore. She ruined his perfect little family. Was he going to let her get away with it? Who knows? You know, I hate to accuse my dad from an unsolved assumption, but I just have this feeling. Since then, I can’t be around him, he isn’t a good man, it’s all bravado. Sure he does things for charity’s with your mom, comes across to outsiders as this generous kind respected man, but really it's all for show."
I think about it for a while. Before all this with Calvin I always regarded my step father as being incredible. He was the best man I could have ever asked for in my life. Now he's showing his true colors, and why? Because I’m finally finding my own? Was he oh so nice to me before all this because I gave in to him every time? I listened to him and did what he asked because I wanted to keep him happy. Was that all because he ran my life and can’t handle not being in control? Whoever defies him, will they get punished? Will he punish me if I keep defying him?
“Elise, you don’t do what he asks, he hasn’t got you in his power. Yet, he still adores you.”
She frowns then realizes why I’m asking such a question. “But I’m still his daughter, his first born. I don’t argue with him Olivia, I don’t question him and I’m not an inconvenience to him. I just stay out of his way because I don’t like the person he is.”
"Elise, do you know what happened to my real dad?" I throw it out there.
She looks at me not shocked by my question at all. "They told you alcohol poisoning right?" She scoffs.
Does she know? She quickly places her hand on my knee, reassuring me. "I don’t know of anything else, don’t worry it's just, I wouldn’t be surprised if they lied." She shakes her head in astonishment and stands to look out of the bedroom window.
"He was murdered." I spill out.
Her frame stills at the window before she turns slowly to face me, her voice is a whisper. "What?"
"He was murdered." I repeat, this time my voice is low. Elise’s pale face is causing me anxiety. Should I have kept my mouth shut?
"Who told you that?"
"My mom, earlier today. I coul
dn't believe it. I still can't. Why would she lie to me this whole time?"
"Is that what my dad was arguing with you about?"
I shake my head quickly. "No, but when I mentioned it, he face told me... he knew."
Elise carefully sits back down onto the bed, looking into the distance.
"Why would she say something like that all of a sudden? Did your mom say who did it and how?"
"No. As quick as it came out of her mouth it was like she instantly knew she shouldn't have said it. She then told me she was lying and that she didn’t know why she would say something like that, then she went all hysterical. I’ve never seen her like that before."
Elise narrows her eyes looking apprehensive. "I don't like this Olivia. Why would they want to keep something like that from you? I don’t understand, why lie all these years?"
I know Elise's mind is over thinking about this. She doesn’t look at me when she speaks, but looks into space, with her eyes are looking shut down.
"Elise? You don’t think they know who did it do you?"
"Oh they know, whether they are going to tell you or not though, is a different story."
Chapter Seven*
Last night all my body was subjected to was tossing and turning. There was way too much on my mind and I just couldn’t sleep.
Maybe it was because I’m in a different environment or maybe it's the fact I can't get that dammed Calvin Blake out of my head, or my mom telling me my real dad was murdered and keeping it from me for so long. Or that and my step dad continues to threaten me. Why the hell did he have blood all over him?
All I can call this is emotional torture and I wouldn't wish this on anybody.
Well, maybe Georgia.
I reach for my bag, getting my iPod out and plug in my earphones.
Why do I have the morbid urge to listen to sad songs? Why would I want that when I want to forget? But deep inside I don't want to forget. I don’t want to accept the unacceptable.
My play-list turns into Adele make you feel my love. Could this be any worse? I don't get why I would want to put myself through this, in a way it's a little therapeutic to me. Crazy I know but is anything sane in my life anymore?
Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) Page 7