With that I look up bemused to what he’s talking about. My heart stops. Completely stops.
Calvin is almost running towards us and before I have chance to do or say anything he sends Tommy flying over the table with one swift punch. I hear a slight crunch as blood bursts from Tommy’s nose. I move out of the way quickly before I get hit while Calvin tackles Tommy to the ground and lays into him. Punch after punch, kick after kick. Its takes me a few moments to register that Calvin is here. How?
That’s doesn’t matter right now. If I don’t do something Calvin is going to kill him.
I’m about to rush over to stop him but two men from the bar come rushing over quickly and try to pull Calvin away from Tommy but they fail. Calvin is like a wild bull. I’ve never seen him so angry. I need to intervene. I need to stop this. Tommy deserved the first punch yes and Calvin could kick him all around the bar for all I care but Calvin can’t be here. What if Mauricio won’t let us be because of this? I told him I wouldn’t be with Calvin and now Calvin is here. He’s going to go berserk thinking I went back on my word.
I rush over to Calvin. He’s already fought off the men trying to calm him down and is continually laying into Tommy, kicking the shit into him. Tommy is laying on the ground cowering cowardly, begging Calvin to stop.
I grab on to Calvin’s arm in the midst of some courage. “Calvin, you need to stop. Right now. You can’t be here.”
Calvin glowers at me while his lips curl in rage. His expression automatically forces me to take a step back. “Then why the fuck is he here? And why are you here? What are doing Olivia? You was going to leave me? For him?”
What! “No! How could you think that?”
He gives Tommy one last kick in his ribs and stands over him. His breathing is ragged, his pullover is almost ripped and his eyes are as black as the night. “You stay the fuck away from Olivia, do you hear me?”
Tommy rolls around on the floor groaning, spitting out blood while he holds on to his ribs. I hardly recognize him. He’s been beaten to a pulp. “You’ll fucking pay for this.” Tommy sputters earning himself another kick from Calvin. I flinch.
The barman comes over to help him out. “I think you better leave before I call the cops.”
I nod my head frantically pulling Calvin with me. He harshly knocks my arm out of his grip then walks in front of me.
When we get outside he’s darting me a thousand question's.
“What the fuck are doing here with him? I call you and Ruby tells me you’re gone? You promised me you wouldn’t leave Olivia. I rushed back tonight to get to you and you were gone, then I find you in at that bar with him!” His spits his words unpalatable.
The way he looks at me could send me to break down. He’s so angry with me. I hate it. I get it. But I hate it. I try to be strong because I need to get out of here before we get spotted.
“Calvin, you can’t be here. He will kill both of us you know that? I can’t be with you.”
He blinks excessively. “What do you mean? You can’t be with me?”
I press on while looking around the dark street in a panic. “I can’t be with you anymore. It's killing us both. The longer I stay with you the more danger we’re in and everybody around us. They are probably watching us right now. You need to go.” I regretfully push him away from me and try to leave. Calvin rushes to my side, pulling at my arm forcing me to look at him.
“Wait. You’re leaving me?” His brows furrow, his voice is full of apprehension.
I inhale deeply to console back tears. “I have no choice. I’m doing it to protect you. Like you did for me.”
He turns away from my groaning for a second running his hands over his face, then turns back. “I came back to you and swore I would never leave you again. And you’re not going anywhere either, Olivia. It will kill us if we’re apart, not together.” I try to ignore the croak of Calvin’s voice. I’m putting him on the brink of devastation and I hate myself for it.
“Don’t you get it? He will never let us be together Calvin. He will always be there, ruining our lives. He will torture us until he gets what he wants. I can never allow him to hurt you. I would rather be the one to do that.”
He gasps slightly. “You don’t believe that.”
“I have no choice.” My voice is low and brittle. I turn away from him walking fast paced, but he's marching beside me.
“Yes you do Olivia, you do. All your life you have lived with Mauricio’s choices. It’s been his way or no way. And now, you’re doing exactly the same thing. Your letting him win.”
I stop in my tracks and point with my hands enunciating my point. “He will always win.”
“No. I won’t let you leave.” He grapples to take hold of my hands then pins me to the spot with his eyes. It’s almost like he could force me to stay by simply looking at me.
“Calvin, he will kill you if I stay.”
Calvin laughs contemptuously, running his hands through his hair. “Then he can go ahead. If it means he will kill me for being with you than I’d rather die Olivia because if you leave me, it will be the same thing. It will destroy me. Don’t do this.”
My words are short, I can’t speak over the lump that has formed in my throat.
“Calvin, don’t say that.”
“It’s true. You’re my life now if you leave me, I have nothing.” His words are softly spoken but with so much angst and it’s ripping me to shreds.
“You have a wonderful family Calvin, who love you.”
“I know, and I love them completely. But with you, I have a desire for life. You’re the one thing that keeps me going.”
“I don’t see any other way.” I begin to break down in tears, my voice is wheezy. I’m being pulled into two directions. The right one and the wrong one. Yet, I can’t tell them apart.
“It will be our way. I’ll make this right. I will do whatever you want to do. I will work with the police. We will go to your mom’s, move country. Whatever you want Olivia, just tell me what you want?”
“You.” I whimper, my whole body shaking out of fear and upset. “I just want you.”
Calvin sighs letting all his anxiety out and walks towards me. “Then you have me.”
I walk into Calvin’s arms, pressing my damp cheek into his chest.
Being in his arms turns my decision to stay with him into a much easier one. His arms protect me, making me feel warm and safe. If only I could live in them.
I'm staying with him. How can I ever leave?
What am I doing?
Chapter Thirty Four*
I make a point of hurrying over to the red range rover that Calvin has parked nearby. I need to tell him everything but we need to move. And fast. I can’t believe what I'm doing. A few moments ago I was set to leave the other half of me behind and go back to living with Mauricio. Have I sacrificed Calvin's future because I’m too cowardly to leave him? Would Mauricio really have left Calvin alone if I went back to my old life? I can’t answer that with a positive.
Mauricio probably already knows about Calvin’s assault on Tommy and it won’t take him long to found out I have gone back on my word. I feel sick to the pit that I’m going against what was set in place but how can I leave the man I love? I had already felt the loss without him and that was before I had actually left.
While Calvin drives at the speed of light I tell him about the phone call Mauricio made to me. He demands to know everything.
“You should have talked to me Olivia. You should have told me he called you. I would have dealt with it.”
“You had just broke the news to your family about Ashton, I couldn’t put you threw anymore and when Mauricio told me he would leave you alone if I left you, I thought it was the right thing to do.”
His saddened head shake, like he can’t believe what I was going to do, says how frustrated and aggrieved he is.
“Where are we going?” I ask to try and stop him looking at me that way.
He answers simply. “To your mom.
”
My eyes are wide. “What?” I sigh a thousand reliefs.
“Bets are your mom is home alone. Unless he's left someone with her, but the mood I'm in, I’ll deal with that.”
I wince at the abrupt tone he’s taking with me. It’s only what I deserve for being so idiotic.
“I've spoken to Elise. She was stepping off the plane when she called. Her flight got delayed because of the storms here and her cell wouldn’t give her service until she stepped onto our soil.”
“You’ve spoken to her?”
“Yeah, she called you, I answered. She's not happy with you. Neither am I.”
I look away from his scowl. I feel like an errant toddler. “Where is my cell?”
He reaches into his pocket and hands it to me. Just as I suspected its dead. Jesus Christ.
“How did he know where we were Calvin?”
“It was my car. The police found a tracker inside. They knew what motel we were at. They knew where my gran lived, that’s why we had to leave quickly that day but they must have waited there the whole time they were gone.” I shudder at the horrifying thought of what could have happened.
“Then Claire’s house?”
His hands griping tighter around the steering wheel. “I don’t know how they knew where Claire lived.”
“So whose car is this?”
“Claire’s husbands.”
I gasp suddenly then tell Calvin to turn around. “Calvin, he told me he would burn down the house down with your family inside. We can’t leave them.”
“Relax. Claire drove back with me, then took the hire car and left with granddad and Ruby. We came home tonight for all of you. They are all staying in a hotel. They’re being protected Olivia. I have taken care of everything, for you. All you had to do was tell me the truth. It would have saved me time. I felt like fucking Liam Neeson looking around for you tonight. When I got back and found you gone, I had a feeling where you’d be. I don’t know why, I thought maybe you wanted to get out for some fresh air. I didn’t think I’d find you with that creep though.” I ignore that comment because something has sat heavy on my heart. I shoot him a look of wonder and I soon turn into a panic. “You... You told them?”
“Told who what?” he frowns.
“You said your family are being protected, that means you told them. How could you. Do they hate me now? Oh, god.”
I hold on my stomach as it twinges in agony. Calvin rests his free hand on my knee to try and soften the blow. “They understand, Olivia. They don’t think badly of you.”
I don’t offer him a glance. I close my eyes in affliction. “Your parents, your brother, have all been murdered by somebody I lived with and called father. How the hell can I ever look them all in the eyes again?”
He sighs and with him wiggling my knee I know he’s gesturing for me to look at him. I can’t.
“I had to tell them. Too much has gone on to keep them from the truth. The police are involved now. I had no choice.”
“What did they say?” I can imagine the terrible things they said. The pain they went through hearing the heart breaking reality.
“Claire was ready to kill as you can imagine. It took two officers to calm her down. My gran, she went to bits,” I look over at Calvin and note from his expression that it isn’t something he is fond of sharing. “That’s what cut me the most. Seeing her like that. But you know what she kept saying?”
“What?” I ask on a whisper. Calvin takes my hand in his. “How much she feels for you Olivia.”
I have Hazel’s sympathy? “She doesn’t need to feel sorry for me Calvin. I haven’t been through what any of you have. Not even a slice of my life compares to what all of you have been through. All down to one despicable human being.”
“Don’t say that. You’ve been through hell and back too. You don’t deserve this as much as they don’t.” After that he sighs deeply and ragged. “Seeing his body, Olivia, it was mental torture. But he looked so peaceful.” I hold his hand that’s resting on the gear shift, and sniff up my emotions. “I miss him so much already.” He adds resignedly. After that my lip begins to quiver. Tears trickle down my cheeks and I let them fall because it hurts too much to move.
“You think I could cope with losing you as well?” He glances towards me with suffering pain.
“I'm sorry,” I wail pathetically. “I didn’t know what else to do. I thought leaving would save you. I thought doing what he wanted would spare you Calvin, you and your family.”
“Please,” he sighs heavily. “Don’t do it again. You have no idea what went through my mind when I found you gone tonight. I can’t...” he shakes his head in trepidation not being able to finish his sentence.
“I won’t.” I'm too quick to promise this time. And I mean it.
After that we stay silent. We stop at two service stations for the toilet and something to eat and get back on the road again. Calvin notices that I keep looking over my shoulder every five minutes but he says nothing.
We have around half an hour until we arrive back in Chicago. Its early morning. I feel exhausted and disorientated from lack of sleep. We are both in yesterday’s clothes and I feel disgusting.
I’m feeling anxious, scared but relieved that I get to see my mom. I get to take her away. That’s what I hope. I’m also petrified incase Mauricio’s gets there first.
Calvin hasn’t spoken much but then neither have I. We’ve held hands once or twice but it feels like were both to numb to say anything. When I do ask question’s he’s short with me. I’m being the same. I need to brake it.
“When is Ashton’s funeral?”
“Next week. Friday.”
“Will you make it?”
“Nothing will stop me.”
“Where is it?”
“It will be in Chicago but he wanted his ashes scatted in the Atlantic Ocean.”
“Oh?” I leave room for him to explain.
“Remember that photograph I showed you at grans? Our first trip to Miami Beach. Ashton always remembers dad telling him that he wanted his ashes scattered in the Miami Sea, well, the Atlantic Ocean. He was telling mom but Ashton over heard and has never forgot it. He had a morbid mind.” Calvin smiles at the found memory of Ashton and his childhood memory’s with his parents. It’s actually heart breaking to watch.
“So that’s why he chose that place? That’s beautiful.”
“Yeah. I just wish we got to do it for mom and dad. But hey, I chose the same place as Ashton. Just incase you know… thought I’d mention that to you.” Calvin smirks but it isn’t at all funny to me. “Was that meant to be a joke? Because it’s a sick one.”
Calvin instantly apologizes when he sees how depressing it is to me.
“I’m sorry. It was thoughtless.”
“Damn right it was. You can be such an asshole sometimes.”
He tries to hide his smirk this time and instead turns on his undeniable charm. “Isn’t that why you love me?”
“No,” I sulk, then sigh. “Yes, amongst other things.” I allow myself to smile a little without feeling guilty. I stare at him and relax a little. It feels so long since I've seen his beautiful face. His ice blue eyes and that gorgeous dark golden hair, styled to the side, how I like. He rubs his fingers across his jaw.
“You like that I shaved you, don’t you?” I smirk.
“Yes.” He grins. “But I can feel it growing back. You’ll have to do it again if you prefer clean shaven.”
“I prefer you both ways. Either way, you’re illegally hot.”
This amuses him. “You think I’m illegally hot?”
I roll my eyes at him. “You know I do. Everyone do.”
“I hadn’t noticed.”
I burst out laughing at his cockiness. “There’s that smug ass man I’m used to.”
He opens his mouth a little to object then laughs instead. “Now you think I’m smug?”
“You so are. You know how women fall at your feet. You know you’re good at everyt
hing you do. You knew from day one you could get me to fall in love with you.”
“But aren’t you glad I did?”
I shake my head smirking in amazement. “There we are. Mr. smug.”
He laughs along with me. “I thought it was Mr. Smooth?”
I dart him a look with wide eyes. “You remember that?” that was my appalling rendition of him when I saw him at the gym that day. It came out of my mouth before I could stop it.
“I remember everything you say and do.” His smile is warm and affectionate and it makes me want to jump on his lap and kiss the pants off him.
“I remember I was entertaining you with how pathetic I was acting. Squirming. What the hell?”
Calvin points to me as if I’m wrong. “No Olivia, you were pleasurably entertaining me.”
“Oh yeah, that’s the one.”
“And you were squirming? I would never have guessed.” He grins with that cockiness and smug ass look.
“You’re such an idiot.”
“Kiss me,” he demands.
“What?”
“Come here and kiss me.”
I look over at him in astonishment. “Calvin you’re driving. Don’t forget we have a place to be.”
“Can’t you just lean over and kiss me?”
I do as he says. I take my seat belt off and lean over to kiss him. I kiss him on his cheek then move my lips over to his mouth. In the back of my mind I do realize he’s driving on the freeway like Michael Schumacher. This is dangerous and illegal but I trust him.
I take his mouth with mine and begin to kiss him at a tender pace, he kisses me back but doesn’t close his eyes.
Good thing.
But I close mine. His right hand comes off the gear shift and holds on to my backside. I lean into him more, deepening my kiss, taking his head with both hands. I kiss him and almost forget everything. I whimper into his mouth out of feeling like I haven’t kissed him like this is so long. Calvin groans seeming to feel the way I do, then suddenly swerves out of the way of another car forcing me to bounce back in my sit.
“What the fuck was that?” I immediately panic and think of Mauricio until Calvin begins to laugh.
Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) Page 35