Ruby smiles as I place my hand over hers. “I loved Ashton, Olivia. I can’t believe he’s gone. They don’t want Calvin too do they? Ashton and Calvin are like the big brothers I never had. I’ve already lost one. Calvin can’t go too.”
I shake my head frantically trying to reassure her. “Calvin isn’t going anywhere.”
“You know he loves you don’t you.”
Where did that come from? “He does.” I smile looking away from her angelic face.
“Do you love him?”
I don’t hesitate to answer. “With everything that I have.”
“Will you get married?”
I burst out laughing. For the first time in weeks, something has made me smile. Only a child could do that. “Maybe.” I lie, because that’s what she wants to hear.
“Ruby, where’s your granddad?”
She takes her hand away from mine to rub her eyes with a scrunched up tissue. “He went to the sun house out the back yard. He never said a word, Olivia. It was like, he shut down or something.”
He’s outside? “It’s so hard on them. For all for them.” She adds and tightens her brown hair up into an elastic and stands. “You wana watch a movie or something? I have chocolate?”
I smile at the thought. She wants to take her mind of things and I agree to do what she wants before taking a glance at the wall clock quickly, its four pm. I have seven hours to burn. Shit am I really going to do this?
“The film is called the lucky one,” Ruby pulls me from my thoughts.
“Who doesn’t love a bit of Zac Efron?” she adds, making me chuckle along with her.
“Zac Efron it is.”
***
I stare at the TV rather than watch it. Ruby is swooning over the handsome actor, that’s what's been my entertainment. It reminds me of Tyler. He would definitely be drooling right now. I almost hate him for not calling me. Maybe I should text him. I do.
‘Thinking of you’ and that’s all I send and I also send the text to Mayra and Sophia. Why not contact them now? Mauricio knows where we are, it doesn’t make a difference. I go back to picking at the chocolate. I know I should eat, but how can I? I have zero appetite.
“Ruby, have you ate?”
She shakes her head entranced the TV. “This will do fine.” She breaks off more chocolate and pops it into her mouth. Typical girl.
“I’ll go see what your mom has.”
I look through the refrigerator to see what I can do. I pull out some fry’s and burgers and set to work.
It takes me a few times to work out the dammed stove but I get there in the end.
When it’s cooked, I find two plates, leave out the silver wear, dig out the ketchup and make my way back into the room.
The film has just finished by the looks, and Ruby looks up to me startled. I don’t know if she’s crying because of what’s happened or if they film was sad.
“Bad ending?”
She blows her nose in her scrunched up tissue. “No. Happy.”
I roll my eyes smiling and pass her the plate of food.
“Mom will kill us if she catches us eating in here.”
“Do you wana eat in the kitchen?” I wouldn’t like Claire on my back.
Ruby smirks acting the rebel. “No. Here will be fine. Though, I don’t really have an appetite.”
“Me neither.” I sigh, “Maybe you shouldn’t have ate that chocolate before dinner.”
Ruby grins at me and points with a fry. “Now you sound like mom.”
I work my way through a few fry’s and Ruby demolishes the whole thing.
It's eight pm when I glance at the clock again. Hell, I’ve been glancing every second.
What I have now on my conscience is that I’m going to leave Ruby alone. I know Gerald is outside in the sun house, but can he look after her?
He will have to. I can’t bring any more trouble to this house.
My cell buzzes from an incoming text, its Mayra, *Darling, Olivia. I hope you’re safe. Come home soon*I contemplate on whether Mayra knows what’s happened or not but I think maybe, she just thinks I have run away with Calvin. I think about calling Elise but if she had any news she would call me.
Nine am comes around and I tell Ruby she should try and get some sleep. She yawns agreeing.
“I wonder if granddad will come back in.” I know she’s spurring me on to go and see him. Truth is, I don’t know if I can.
“I’ll go see him.” I agree eventually but I hate every second of it. I want to comfort Gerald, I really do, but what if he pushes me away? Worst still, he knows what really has gone on.
As Ruby goes up to bed, I get another text on my cell. I hope it’s a reply from Tyler but it’s off Calvin but sent from Hazel’s cell. The text was sent two hours ago but I’ve only just received it.
It’s more of an essay.
*I can’t call Olivia, I have shit service. I’m hoping this text will get through to you. Everything is being taken care of. Ashton is in a better place now. We’re here with him. They have transferred him to a private mortuary. We’re going through funeral arrangements. I told them we will only have the best for him. We have talked to the police again. They say it’s a complicated one because of the men involved, but they are doing their best. Fucking shit-houses that’s what they are. I wish you was with me though. I need to hear the comfort of your voice. I need your beautiful smile to lighten up my darkest hour. I wish all this shit would leave us, but when I’m back I will do my best for us to try and lead a normal life and to make you happy. Even if it means we go away. Someplace hot, just you and me. That’s all I want. We’ll talk when I get back. I'm hoping to be with you tonight, but if not, just remember I love you. I always have. Always will. Sleep tight tonight. Sleeping beauty.*
My tears blur my vision completely. The screen on my phone is soaking. The more he melts my heart, the more it punctures. I can’t believe I’m going to leave him behind.
Visions of us leading a normal life, somewhere hot, someplace where no one will get to us dash through my mind. But I quickly dismiss it, they will always find us. Mauricio will always go after us if I don’t do as he says. I will always be living in fear. Always looking behind my shoulder. Always jumping at anything and everything that startles me. How is that living? If it’s living, then it’s living in hell.
I write a text simply saying *I love you* and hover over the send button. But I don’t send it. I push my cell aside. I can’t send that. If I don’t act cold towards him he will never believe I’ve left him in accordance to my own choice.
I do love him. So much. But that’s what is going to have to happen. If I don’t text back he might think that the text didn’t get through because of lack of service. So I will leave it at that.
Instead I brace myself, and walk out into the back yard. I see the light on in the small summer house.
I tap on the door, and wait for a reply. When there isn’t one, I go inside anyway.
There is he. Sat in a rocking chair. A blanket wrapped around his lap and a portable heater plugged in.
“Gerald do you mind?” He stares at another rocking chair blankly and points to it. I take it as a gesture for me to sit.
“How are you feeling?” How are you feeling? What a stupid question to ask. My mouth still hasn’t learned.
The silence from him is telling me he isn’t willing to talk to me. Maybe I should leave?
“Gerald, it’s cold out here. Why don’t you come inside? I’ll make you a nice mug of coffee?”
Finally his stone dead eyes flicker towards me. “I’m frozen anyway Olivia. Why do you think the weather would make a difference to me now?”
I look away before he does. He voice is soft. But he’s hurting, I can see it in his eyes. Of course he’s hurting. He lost his daughter, his son-in-law and now his grandson. How can anyone cope with that?
We sit in silence for a while. I listen to the creak of the wood as Gerald rocks back and forth on his chair, while I stare vacan
tly into the heater.
Gerald speaks slowly. Finally.
“He was a good boy Olivia. Why would anyone do such a thing? They have taken away an innocent boys life. My grandson’s life.” He adds the last part on yell. Well, it’s more of a cry. He starts coughing trying to catch his breath. This man is ill. He doesn’t need this.
I stand up in a panic, but he quickly regains composure. He needs to be in the warmth.
“Come on Gerald. Let me get you inside. Ruby is worried sick about you.” I try a different tactic, and it works. His eyes suddenly come back to life from the dark place they were at. “Ruby. Yes. Where is she?” he tries to stand up so I take his arm to guide him.
“She’s inside. You should go see her.”
I take him inside and settle him into one of the comfy chairs in the living room. I make him a mug of coffee which he takes out of my hand gratefully.
“You’re a very special young women, Olivia. Please, please look after my Calvin.”
I can’t do any other action than nod. How can I promise him something I won’t be able to carry out?
Jesus, I can’t stay here, clock watching. I can’t stay here with everything reminding me of how Mauricio has ruined these people’s lives. It’s not fair that they have to go through this. I need to go. I need to get out of here.
I quickly get my things together from the kitchen table. I hesitate when I see my cell. I don’t want to take it. It will only make things worse so I leave it where it is and head out.
Wrapping my red coat around me tightly, I head towards the bar we passed on our way here. I have some money in my purse, maybe I should drink myself into oblivion until eleven comes along.
Chapter Thirty Three*
I step inside the bar and walk straight up to the counter and order myself a double vodka. The short bartender watches me warily as I knock it back and pay for another then take a seat in the corner of the room.
The bar is small and oval shaped, decorated with old fashioned greens and browns. There is only a handful of people in here which look to me like old regulars, which I’m glad about.
I sit on my own in the corner, staring blankly into my tumbler. The music is beautiful, I recognize it to be Christina Perry, lonely. Beautiful, but talk about eerie.
The lyrics seep through me, I’m in the shadow of a girl I used to know.
Was I ever who I wanted to be when I was growing up? I never was. Mauricio controlled my every move. Every aspect of my life choices. My every step and decision. I thought he was always doing what was best for me. My mom had always made me appreciate what he did for us. Now I think, he obviously controls my mom. He controls everyone around him. He makes them believe that what he says is the best option. That he has your best interests at heart. He is so good at manipulating you that you actually believe that everything he says makes sense and that it was your idea in the first place. You question your own judgment. I was so blind. Yet, when Calvin came along I could see clearly. Calvin made me realize what Mauricio was doing. He’s the one who gave me my voice back. If it wasn’t for Calvin I’d still be in that rut.
But now I’m back there. I have no Calvin. I have no choice. I have to go back to living in a controlled life. That imagine alone stabs me in the back. How have it got to this? Why didn’t Calvin kill Mauricio when he had a chance? Would have it been that easy? Does that make me bad to think of it like that?
I go round and around contemplating other scenarios in my head when something across the bar makes me glance up. I see the back of a head that I recognize. Black, sleek, perfectly styled hair. He’s wearing a sharp black suit on his small frame and he’s looking around for someone. It’s then when he turns to me, his gray eyes meeting mine, that I see Tommy Barrella.
What the fuck is he doing here? I meet the wall clock again with my eyes and see its ten thirty. Shit. Already? And he’s sent Tommy to get me?
Tommy spots me but speaks with the barman first. I don’t know what he’s saying but they both look over at me quickly. I stare back at them both pointedly, then he makes his way over to me.
“Olivia.” He nods standing over me. I look away from his greedy gaze as he gives me the once over with his eyes.
“He sent you?” I talk with the utmost disgust. Tommy doesn’t bat eyelid at my insult. He’s loving that it’s riled me in-fact. He pulls out the vacant chair and takes a seat. He clasps his hands together. “Your dad wanted someone you could trust.” He isn’t the least apologetic.
I laugh out load. “Someone I can trust? I trust no one Tommy.”
“Not even your own father?” Is he winding me up?
“He is not my fucking father.” I snarl at him making it crystal clear.
Tommy straightens out his tie. Oh, he’s actually showing a little emotion. “Yes, well,” he clears his throat, “don’t let him hear you say that.”
My eyes burn into Tommy’s. “Why is that? Because he hates me defying him? What’s he going to do? Kill me? He might as well. I’m already in fucking hell.”
Tommy leans over to place his sweating palm over mine. “Olivia, don’t say that.”
I rip my hand away from his. “Don’t you dare touch me.” The few people that are in the bar all look over at me yelling. Tommy blinks a little embarrassed and sighs.
“Listen, you’re… Mauricio,” he correct himself, “wants to make it right.”
I scoff at him trying to be compassionate and sit back in my seat and cross my arms.
“Spare me the bullshit Tommy. All Mauricio wants is people to bow down to him. Answer to his every whim. Where is the mother fucker anyway?” Tommy grimace’s at my choice of words. Any normal circumstance I would too at my usual bad language but I’m seething.
He slides a small comb over his sleek backcombed black hairdo that he’s pulled out of his pocket. Really? He has a comb with him! “I have to take you to him.” He says firmly trying to take control.
I frown bemused. “What do you mean, take me to him?”
Tommy’s eyes flicker. “I mean, home. He wants me to take you home.”
The way his eyes moved from mine triggered something in me, telling me not to trust what he’s saying. I don’t trust the creep anyhow but what he’s saying isn’t true.
“So he’s here and now he wants you to take me home? Why didn’t he come and meet me himself? Why has he sent you?”
Tommy shifts in his seat and clears his throat. Another indication that’s he’s lying.
“I told you. He wanted someone you knew. I don’t think he thought you would have left with him if he came himself.” He crooks his finger towards the bartender who hastily brings over a bourbon whiskey for Tommy and a tumbler of straight vodka for me. Tommy necks his down in one gasping on the aftertaste. I take mine to my lips, and smell.
“I haven’t done anything to it, Olivia.” I stare at him for a moment, looking for sighs that he's lying. And drink it down anyway. I need it.
“What has he done with my mom?” I ask slamming my tumbler down next to the previous empty one then wipe my lips with the back of my hand.
“Nothing.” he says gingerly twisting his glass in his hand. “But we’re not here to talk about that, Olivia. We should leave.”
I narrow my eyes at him and lean back comfortable crossing my arms again. I’m not leaving until he talks.
“Tommy. What has Mauricio done with my mom?” My teeth are gritted.
I almost feel the impatient tapping of his foot underneath the table while he quickly glances at his expensive wrist watch. “As far as I know she’s home safe and sound. You think he would hurt your mom? He loves her. And he loves you. He’s a family man, Olivia. He’s a good guy.”
What? A good guy? What planet is Tommy on?
I lean against the table to make myself loud and clear. “There isn’t an ounce of flesh on that man that is good. He’s an evil cruel twisted man, Tommy. I don’t know how he’s brain washed you into thinking otherwise or anything of his other men in
blacks.” I laugh audaciously at my own joke.
Tommy doesn’t even flinch. He checks the time again so I knock his wrist out of his sight. I think that vodka has gone straight to my head.
“What are you stalking your watch for?” I hiss. “You shouldn’t have come in the first place. I have no idea what any of this shit has to do with you.”
He then leans over the table towards me his expression turning sardonic. “You think I want to be here? If you wasn’t such a spoiled little brat none of this would be happening right now.”
I recoil in my seat at his sudden bitterness. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. If you didn’t run off with that dickhead who thought he could overpower Mauricio, I wouldn’t have to be here. You know Mauricio was right,”
He shifts his seat towards me, his greedy gray eyes staring at my breasts then back to my face.
I flinch in disgust but he continues. “You should have let me take you out. I would have showed you a good time. Instead you chose him. I can still show you what you’re missing.”
With that he leans over grabbing at my wrist. My eyes move to where he has me, then back to his eyes. He's watching me lewdly. He looks like he’s about to kiss me so I lean back out of his grip and raise my other hand to push him away from me but he grasps his fingers around that wrist.
“Don’t fight me Olivia. It could be me and you, no more fighting. Your step dad would approve, he would love it in-fact.” I scrape my seat back to try and wrestle my wrists out of his grip. “Tommy, get the fuck off me. Your delusion. Nothing will ever happen between me and you. Ever.”
Tommy is about to stand from his chair to take me with him but a ruckus outside diverts his attention. I pull my arms away from his but he loses hold of me anyhow when the door of the bar comes crashing open. I don’t look up, I grab my purse from the back of the chair ready to leave then hear Tommy curse in front of me.
“What the fuck? Olivia, you were meant to come by yourself. Do you want us both to get killed?”
Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) Page 34